


Take a Deep Breath

by RiseiTekiSensei



Series: It's A Long Story [12]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphyne, Bad Puns, F/F, F/M, Have a Happy Halloween!, Houseplant Flowey, I hope you people enjoy it because I am never do that again, M/M, Papyrus is hard to write for, Papyrus' POV, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route - "I want to stay with you.", Slow Burn, Soriel, The Plot Thickens, This will be a very long fic, Year 2, and a whole bunch of angst, angsting on a hill, i have an angst pinata, i needed some bro-fluff after that last chapter, i put pre-papyton, i'm hilarious, if you hit it hard enough maybe nice things will fall out, like glaciers move faster than Sans and Toriel, other stuff that resembles a plot will occur in the background but do not be confused, others have an angst bus, papyton, pre-soriel, skelebros, so like heads up, some people have an angst train, tags will be added as the chapters are, the main point of this fic will be soriel, this is a soriel fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-13 04:19:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 115,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiseiTekiSensei/pseuds/RiseiTekiSensei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is their second year on the Surface. This is a second year full of firsts. Full of fresh starts and new beginning. Full of laughter and tears. Full of love and fears. Full of heartaches and bad times. </p>
<p>Now all they have to do is survive it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So guys, gals, and non-binary pals, buckle up this is gonna be one hella of a trip. This is the 7th installment of my "It's a Long Story" series and this will be the actual fic part. All of the other fics in the series are like the prequel to this. Like I put in the tags this will be a Soriel focused fic and plot like stuff will happen in the background but it's really just gonna be Sans and Toriel and their lives. How they cope, how they don't. That sort of thing. 
> 
> Okay, I think that's it.

_i don’t wanna move…_

 

But despite his best efforts to try and fall back asleep, he couldn’t.

Eventually, he cracked open an eye-orbit and stared at the muted tv. It was running some re-run from Mettaton’s newest show, “Stories from the Underground”. It was a silly talk show where Mettaton put his twist on current events in the monster and human communities. It had recently been confirmed for three more seasons. _at the very least…_

Sans turned his head back into the couch cushion in an attempt to smoosh his face back into it. He really didn’t want to do anything right now. His phone buzzed somewhere nearby.

After several long moments of internal debate, Sans pushed himself onto his elbows to look for it. He found his cell on the floor nearby, he didn’t even have to get up to reach it. Definite win. He unlocked the phone with a magical swipe of his finger making an hourglass out the three by three dots. Everyone thought that modern touch phones operated with heat or pressure but really it was just an electric field that needed something conductive to distort it. So no modification had been needed for monsters to use them, after all magic was an excellent conductor.

“hpmf.”, Sans grumbled. It had just been an email. Then his sleep blurred vision translated the sender into meaningful words. He sat all the way up, snatching his phone off the floor as he went.

He tapped open the email and read it. Then he re-read it a few more times just to make sure he wasn’t crazy.

They’d approved his papers.

His work was going to be published in the next issue… of this **international** journal. Everyone in the world would have access to his studies and findings. _no pressure…_

He was going to be a published author on the Surface. Which had been no easy feat. Not with all the damned hoops he’d had to jump through to get his degrees recognized, _thanks al for laying the groundwork there._ Then he’d had to modify all of his previous reports to fit the journal’s publication format, only for everything to get peer-reviewed by a bunch of other Surface scientist who worked in the field. It’d taking months for them to get back to him about this, he’d almost forgotten that he’d submitted anything to the IJQI back in June. After he and Toriel had their talk she’d gotten him thinking about the future. Something he promised himself he wouldn’t start doing yet.

“pfft. liar, liar.”, Sans muttered to himself. _if i hadn’t been thinking about the future yet then why’d i get my doctorates recognized back in may… tori just- gave me a direction…_

Sans slumped backwards into the couch and closed his eyes. By October Dr. C. S. S. Gaster would be a recognizable member of the quantum physics community, or at least a google-able one.

Sans sighed heavily and glanced back at his phone; the screen had gone dark. He tapped it on again, intending to delete the email just so he wouldn’t have to think about this sort of life altering event anymore. _one that didn’t actually change anything_.

But his now fully awake brain got hung up on the lockscreen.

 

_‘2:03 pm_

_Tues, Sept. 20’_

 

_shit. wasn’t that reunion thing supposed to start at one…_

 

Nobody had messaged him or called him asking if he was still coming, so maybe the party hadn’t really started yet. Sans climbed to his feet and looked down at his clothes. His shirt and jeans didn’t look too dirty… well, they didn’t look stained and he always looked sleep rumpled so nobody would notice. And his hoodie seemed fine, but the slippers probably weren’t the best idea.

The last time they’d gone to this park Pap had said he wasn’t going to rescue his slippers from their inevitable grass stained fate. Not that Papyrus hadn’t had to do several loads of wash to get the grass stains out of his clothes. But Sans figured it’d just be easier to not risk it, so he shuffled into his room and found his tennis shoes. Stuffing bare metatarsals into them along with the untied laces, Sans straightened up.

He grabbed his wallet off the dresser and made for the front door. As he passed by the couch he waved his hand carelessly. Incased by a pale blue glow his phone jumped off the cushions and into his hand. Then the tv switched off. He plucked out the only set of keys left in the snail bowl and double checked that the front door was locked. Then he turned back towards the living/dining/kitchen area and took a deep breath.

The grassy park splayed out in front of him, he could see the whole place when he was up on that hill. He hoped that nobody had decided to climb up there today. He leaned back against his front door-

His back met the uneven surface of the tree’s trunk. He stood alone atop the hill. The cooling September wind rolled off the nearby river and rustled the branches above him. The tree’s leaves had started their annual color shift, green was fading to yellow.

 

_… ah. so that’s why nobody’d called…_

 

Because they hadn’t missed him.

The park was packed. They’d set up a stage and a bunch of those rent-able tents. Scattered all over were tables and chairs. Some had umbrellas others didn’t, some were under the tents and others had been dragged towards the tree line to steal some of their shade. It wasn’t like it was really hot enough to be concerned about the heat, but nobody liked to sit with the sun in their eyes. And the Dog Family seemed to be enjoying the shade. Lesser Dog had just shaken water out his coat... _maybe he had jumped into the river to cool off_.

From where Sans stood he could see the whole sea of monsters and people. He counted a little over thirty humans who’d decided to join their celebration. He knew most of them and figured all of them were likely friends/co-workers of the monsters attending. As for the monsters… Sans knew all of them. Well, he knew all their names at least, and he could probably remember a couple of facts about each one if he really tried. It’d sort of been his job… to know them… to remember them and their lives…

He should walk down the hill and make a lame joke about being late. Then he could mingle or whatever. Say hi to Grillbz and Ember and Muffet and the Dog Fam and the Bunnies and Blook and the Slime’s and the Washua’s and Gerson and- and…

 

God, he felt tired…

 

His feet slowly slid out from underneath him. His heels left little furrows in the dry dirt and the rough bark at his back crackled on his way down. Maybe, if he just sat really still he’d fall asleep again. Then he could just apologize saying he slept through the event… and it wouldn’t even be a lie.

The party was just so much **work** . To talk and smile and be friendly. Everyone would expect him to act just right, to be as happy as they were, but to still be disinterested and mellow and funny like always. They all would expect something of him if he walked down there… and it felt like more effort than he was capable of just then. Like more effort than he was capable of, **ever**.

 

_i’m just so tired… can’t i just be done…_

 

They probably wouldn’t even notice if he didn’t show… _i’m really not gonna be missed…_

 

Sans heard a distinctly Papyrus-ish laugh and searched for his brother in the crowd. It was relatively easy, he just had to look for the coolest guy ever… and the fish warrior… and the swarm of star-eyed kids.

The herd of little ragamuffins seemed to have roped Papyrus and Undyne into a game of volleyball. Five striped shirts plus an adult equaled one team. Pap was wearing his ‘cool dude’ shirt with an unbuttoned dress shirt over it. It seemed like he’d come here straight after work because he was still wearing his uniform slacks. It’d taken a couple of months for Papyrus to figure out how human fashion worked, but once he got it he started blending in pretty **seam** lessly.

Sans snorted to himself. _tori’d like that one…_ His eyes tracked away from the intense and passionate game just as Papyrus scored on Undyne, his scarf billowing epicly. It didn’t take him long to find her, there were only two over seven-foot tall goat-boss-monsters down there and one of them was in a vibrant hawaiian shirt.

Toriel wasn’t wearing a dress or skirt today. Not wholly unusual but very causal given the news van Sans had seen driving out of the parking lot. _maybe that’s what they’d been going for… this wasn’t a memorial or some kind of big government deal, just a party… a reunion for them… for friends and families… heh, that sound just like the kid…_

She was wearing one of her work blouses, the ones that always screamed ‘I am a teacher’ to him. It was a cream colored top that looked like it had lots of little dots on it. _it’s the one with all the tiny snails on it…_

A bark of laughter escaped him. His hand clapped over his mouth. Not for fear of being heard, but because the manic laugh was going to start him on a downward spiral. One that wouldn’t be good for anyone involved. His soul clenched painfully.

He wasn’t sure why the fact that he’d known exactly which shirt Tori was wearing was making him panic… or cry… or whatever this was, but it had. She was mingling like proper royalty, as was Asgore, they seemed to be playing orchestrators to the whole shebang below all while slipping into the background of the party. A couple of the humans Sans had recognized were senators and one might have even been the Governor. They too, were with their families and were dressed ‘causally’.

Asgore approached Toriel’s little group and slid into the conversation easily. _they really made quite the pair… the king and queen… she doesn’t really need someone like me to keep her company anymore…_

 

Toriel wasn’t isolated anymore, she had her school and a job and Frisk and friends and family… she was set. It’d probably be really easy for him to just… fade into the background. He’d simply remove himself from her life, it’d be painless even. _she’d probably want it that way, no fuss, no extended acquaintance, just a gradual distancing…_

Sans tore his eyes away from her laughing face. They came to rest back at the volleyball net. The game had ended and the kids were running off in different direction one group led by Frisk and the other by MK. Alphys strolled over to Undyne and Papyrus with drinks for both of them and an enormous smile on her face. Undyne said something. Alphys replied. Undyne laughed.

Mettaton soon joined the group. He’d just finished bring refreshments to the six protesters in the parking lot; very much a backhanded ordeal, Sans was certain. He’d dragged Napstablook off the stage and invited them into the group. They talked. They laughed. Papyrus waved at a couple who passed by, they waved back in obviously delighted recognition.

Papyrus had been an adult for awhile, Sans had **known** that. But here, at this distance, his baby brother didn’t look like a kid anymore. He didn’t look like he needed someone to help him, to take care of him anymore… No Sans seemed to be the only one who needed somebody to take care of him now. Everyone had moved on in their lives, they had hopes for the future and we’re happy to meet them. _i shouldn’t keep pap tied down anymore… he needs to live his own life… without having to wait for me to try and catch up…_

 

Sans closed his eyes against the magic stinging in them. He was just so tired…

 

_wasn’t this supposed to mean something… one year… we’ve been here for a year… why don’t i feel different… everyone down there is happy and excited and i can barely move…_

 

He’d thought that making it this far would give him a sense of relief, a sense of freedom. That he’d be able to tell that the timeline was truly stable, that he wouldn’t **ever** have to go back. But when he looked into his soul… it was just… **waiting** … just like always, just as patient as ever… waiting for all of this to be gone… waiting to wake up in Snowdin, **_again_ **.

Couldn’t he just heal! Was that to much to ask… _god, can’t i just move on!_

 

_… please._

 

_...please..._

 

.

.

.

 

His phone vibrated.

Sans cracked an eye orbit, he didn't know how much time had passed. Thing below seemed to have changed, though. Most everyone had a plate. A couple of blankets had been thrown out and the kids were sitting on them. One had been dragged off by the teenagers, both monster and human, apparently parents were embarrassing no matter what species you were. A couple of adults were sitting with kids too, as supervisors, but mostly they were at the tables or were standing nearby chatting and eating. _the catering bill for feeding over three hundred beings must be astronomical… did grillby and muffet do this or’d tori get someone else…_

Sans watched a couple of the humans react… **interestingly** to the food so at least some of it was magical. He considered picking out the faces he wanted to see once more, but decided it’d be too much work…

He reached into his pocket for his phone. The action seemed to be requiring an inordinately large amount of energy to complete, but at last he freed his phone. He tapped it awake. _2:44 pm_

He’d been sitting up on this hill by himself, wallowing in self-pity for almost an hour. He felt disgusted with himself. _useless…_

The notification said it was a text from Tori. _she’s probably just gonna tell me that it’s okay if i bail… s’not like she really needs someone else to keep an eye on…_

He opened the message. Pop the joint back in quick, so to speak, and just get it over with.

 

_\--- * Sans, are you feeling well? Did you still plan on coming to the Reunion event at the park?_

 

Not exactly what he’d expected, but Toriel is a lot nicer than anyone has the right to be. _what if she’s not gonna let me go because she’s afraid she’ll upset me… what if i drag her down with me…_

He looked for her face in the crowd again. She was sitting at one of the tables that had been pulled a little farther away from the main event, she’d kicked off her flats and was relishing in the feel of the grass against her paws. She’d told him once how it’d been her favorite thing as child, to run barefoot through the fields surrounding the township she had grown up in. Her phone was on the table by her plate and drink. It seemed everyone had clued into the same hint he had: she wasn’t in the mood to talk just then, because she sat alone at the table.

His thumb hesitated over the keyboard. Should he just tell her he can’t make it and then just go home or should he go down there and join the others?

Toriel took a sip of her drink and picked up her phone to inspect it. She didn’t seem to find anything worth while so she put back down. She stretched a little more, had a bit of food, checked her phone. She did a little scanning of her own and seemed to find what she had been searching for. It made her look pleased. She checked her phone. Took a sip of her drink. She checked her phone, but this time he could see her type something.

She ate a little more.

His phone buzzed.

 

_\--- * I do hope you are alright…_

 

She picked up her phone and typed something else.

His phone chirped again.

 

_\--- * You would tell me if something was wrong, would you not?_

_\--- * Sans…_

 

_* yeah, i’m good t_

_* i just got a little hung up_

_* should be there soon_

 

Sans didn’t know why he’d just agreed to go, he really wasn’t in the best mood. But, for some reason, it seemed to be the answer Toriel had been fishing for.

She had been mid-bite when she’d hurriedly snatched her phone off the table.

 

_\--- * Oh, hung up on what?_

 

_* a jacket_

_* it really quite nerve-rack-ing_

 

Sans watched her mouth curl upward. The smile was broad enough that he could tell it was genuine, even at this distance. His soul did that painful tightening thing again. He shouldn’t be trying to keep her invested in him… it was wrong… and misleading… He wasn’t somebody she should depend on…

 

_\--- * Your war-drobe sound quite intense. Perhaps shoe should pick something less coat-ed in stress-ed fibers. ]:D_

_\--- * Alphys informed me that I can put letters in my emoticons to change how the textual face looks. The ‘D’ is to show that I have a very wide smile and I can use a ‘P’ to make it look like my tongue is sticking out. Like this ]:P._

_\--- * My tongue is not actually sticking out._

 

Sans pulled his knees into his chest and buried his skull in his arms. She meant so **much** to him. These were the kinds of conversations that he lived for and yet- he was so scared he didn’t know what to do with himself. If she found out what had happened… If he told her everything… she hate him. He’d lose her forever and he’d have no one to blame but himself. And he couldn’t even apologize for what he’d done either, because he’d do it again. Even now, on the Surface, he knew he’d do all of the horrible things again, because that was the only way. It was the only way to protect them. To protect the timeline.  

 

His phone buzzed.

He swiped at his tear streaked face and looked at his phone. He’d missed a couple of texts from her.

 

_\--- * Sans? Are you still there?_

_\--- * I suppose you must be busy with work or some other important thing._

_\--- * Or maybe you have fallen asleep, I do not know._

_\--- * In anycase I shall let you get back to it. Just know that we would be very happy if you stopped by the park._

_\--- * And I hope that you know you can always talk to me._

_\--- * Whenever you need to._

 

Sans looked up and watched Toriel stare gloomily down at her phone. She looked up and scanned the crowd for someone. Her face seemed to have zeroed in on Papyrus. _how worried is she?_

She seemed to be having some kind of internal debate. She came to a decision and put her shoes back on.

She shouldn't be worrying about him. Not now. Not at the party she’s spent months planning. He should re-assure her… he should do something to let her know that she shouldn't worry…

 

_* knock knock_

 

She sat back down in a huff and tugged her phone back out of her pocket. She typed something on her phone. She didn’t put it back down when she finished.

 

_\--- * Who is there?_

 

_* dishes_

 

Sans stood up and studied the trees near her table. She was texting. He could just pop down there for a bit, tell her a joke or two and leave again. Nobody’d have to even know he was there. He just didn't want her to worry. He put one hand on the tree trunk and began to walk around it.

 

_\--- * Dishes who?_

 

He stepped behind the tree-

He stepped out of the treeline slightly to her left. “ **dishes** a joke you’ve heard before.”, he said with as much of a smile as he could muster.

 

And then something he hadn’t expected happened.

He was swept off of his feet. Literally.

 

It hadn’t even taken Toriel two full strides to reach him. She had lept to her feet at the sound of his voice, but she hadn’t seemed even the slightest bit surprised to find him behind her without explanation. She’d clearly been spending too much time with him. But once Toriel reached him she didn’t really stop, not until they almost occupied the same space. She’d pulled him into her arms for a hug.

A **real** hug. One of the ones that **meant** something. She didn’t lace it with magic, she didn’t need to. He could feel her warmth and joy and compassion without it. And once again he really considered how lethal this height difference was going to be for him, as she swiftly pulled him face first into her large, lovely, and very pillowy chest.

He had been so shocked by her sudden, yet graceful actions he’d been a bit stunned. She started to pull away perceiving his stillness as discomfort. He grabbed for her. Barely managing to wrap his arms part of the way around her, in a desperate attempt to stop her. He didn't want this hug to be over yet. Not yet.

It seemed to have been just the thing he needed. It wasn’t going to fix all of his problems, _nobody could_ , but it seemed to be easing the panic and pain that had been clutching at his soul. He’d always felt starved for affection, or really for a connection, for someone who really understood him and here she was. Toriel didn't know anything about what was wrong and yet… And yet the thought of losing what they shared tore violently at his soul. So he just really wanted to stay there, to just hug her for a little longer.

The hug lasted a few moments longer, Sans still didn’t want to let go, but he didn’t want to push his luck either. He still felt tired and not in any kind of party mood, but the idea of talking with people and saying his hello’s seemed like a far easier task than it had moments ago.

They stepped apart. She stepped a bit farther back than he did, he was used to looking way up, but she wasn’t used to looking that far down. “Hello, Sans.”, she said a little breathlessly.

“heya.”, he replied with a bit of a shrug.

After a beat of silence, they both laughed. Toriel’s snicker rang out with Sans’ deep snort, a very familiar harmony for the two of them.

“Oh, goodness.”, Toriel continued, “I had not meant to barell you over, only bid you a hello.”

Sans pulled his hands out of his pockets, they seemed to have drifted back there once he’d let go of her, and brushed off her apology. “nah, t. i really don’t mind, honest. i mean i think you should be sellin’ those things, but since you’re still givin’ ‘em out for free i won’t ever say no.”

“And which things do you believe I should be selling?”, Toriel asked flippantly, one of her hands coming to rest on her hip.

“you’re hugs, t. i mean just advertise them as the cure for bad dreams and sad thoughts, you could make millions.”, he answered on a laugh.

She rolled her eyes, but she still smiled down at him. “I do not think you or Frisk would be very pleased if suddenly my hugs became a commodity, and a very lucrative one at that…”

Sans pretended to think about it before replying, “eeh, on second thought… forget i said anything.”

Toriel laughed and gestured for him to join her at the table. He followed and sat at the chair diagonal from hers. Not across from her, but not awkwardly next to her, _go rectangles_. “Not inclined to share, are you?”

“heh. what gave it away?”, Sans questioned back. She had taken a sip from her drink so he continued, “although, i do think this is the first time one of my jokes got a hug instead of a laugh… but whadda i care as long as the responses are positive. maybe i ought to try to and **embrace** this new form of audience feedback…” He trailed off, pretending to be lost in thought.

She laughed and he grinned back. They fell into a kind of comfortable silence for a few moments, while they both picked at her plate. Sans fished for the the monster food and Toriel seemed more interested in the fresh fruits than anything.

Toriel hummed thoughtfully at him while she munched on a strawberry. Sans made a noise of encouragement instead of replying as he eyed another spider cookie on her plate. “It had occurred to me this morning, that this date does not just the mark the anniversary of monster liberation, but that it also marks the day we first met face-to-face…”

Something in his face made her back pedal, “It is quite silly, I know, to see this as anything important between us. Especially, given that we have known one another for much longer, but still it is an interesting milestone, I suppose.” She had glanced away from him.

“tori”, Sans said to recapture her attention. Once she looked back he continued, “it means a whole h-” Sans hesitated, looking around himself and the table. When he didn't see any striped shirts he started up again, “it means a whole hell’ve a lot to both us… i mean we never really thought that we were actually gonna get to meet each other… so it's kinda a big deal.”

Toriel had placed a hand over her mouth to hide her smile at his antics, but her candy-colored eyes still danced with laughter. After a moment to collect herself she spoke, “Sans-”, but almost immediately cut herself off with a gasp of shock. She had tried to place her hand over the one he’d left on the table. Fur brushed bone. She jerked her hand away.

Sans had felt his magic spark for his plaganges to her soft digits, but he hadn’t **meant** for it to happen. For her to feel what he felt… underneath the smile. He started to pull his hand away too, more out of fear that it might happen again, that he might lose control again. _i really shouldn’t have come…_

Her eyes had widened slightly, but at his movement she, possessively, reclaimed his hand. Her large furry paw all, but consumed his smaller bone digits; holding him in place, keeping him there with her. He flinched in fear that he wouldn't be able to keep his soul in check.

Nothing else happened. Sans waited stiffly for her to comment, for her to ask what was wrong with him, for her to question him and demand answers for what she had felt, for her to do something. She just tightened her grip on his metacarpals. Neither spoke, they just searched the others face for some kind of clue about the others thoughts.

Toriel broke the silence first. “Your bones feel very cold, my friend.”

Sans didn’t know why he felt like he needed to look away but he did. “yeah, they do that sometimes… ya know **no body** heat, ‘cause i’m a skeleton.” He tried to brush off her concern with a joke and to reclaim his hand. He was very good at that sort of thing, pulling away.

She didn’t let him. “What has happened, Sans? What can I do to help?” The genuine concern in her voice made him shiver a little.

 _nothing really happened… there really isn’t anything wrong… i'm just me… and- and this happens sometimes… don't worry._ He wanted to say all of those things, but he couldn't. Instead, Sans glanced back at her face to gauge her reaction and regretted it. If he thought it was going to be hard to play this off before, then there was no way he was going to be able to now. Not now that he could see her worry and concern so plain on her face. Her expression was so open and sincere and **real**. Her deep lovely eyes sparkled with magic as she watched him. Waiting for him.

It had been nearly impossible to keep things from her when they’d been in the Underground, but now that they weren’t separated by a door she seemed to have gained an unfair advantage. He sighed, “i’m just… **really** tired…”

“Physically or emotionally?”, Toriel inquired almost immediately.

It pulled a little chuckle out of him. “you’re the only other person ‘sides pap, who asks me that…” But when she didn’t reply he figured she must be taking a leaf out his book and was just gonna try and wait him out. He used his free hand to rub at his eye sockets, before puffing a breath out from between his teeth. “they’re kinda the same thing for me… when i get emotionally drained it just kinda… makes me want ta’ sleep so i get physically tired pretty much right away… i guess i’m just not in a party mood...”

She squeezed his hand and spoke softly, “Sans, my dearest friend, you do not have to be in a good mood all the time. Your friends and family will understand if you are feeling unwell and do not want to participate as much. In fact, I do not think anyone would want you to force yourself to do something that makes you unhappy. We all would very much like you to recover… we care about you…”

Sans just shook his head. “nah, i should really probably stay… isolating myself doesn’t lead to- uh, good times… i guess i just need a pick me up, er something- just ta’ sorta get me back on my feet, so i can be social and stuff...”

Toriel fell silent for a moment while she thought. Then she asked, in all seriousness, “And what do you normally do, as a ‘pick me up’?”

He almost laughed in her face, but he managed to temper it down to an escaped snicker. At her confused expression, Sans shot her an incredulous one of his own and said, “you.”

 

Her hand tightened around his.

 

And then his brain suddenly, connected what she had said with what he had and tried to backtrack, “i mean hanging out with you… or pap… or frisk. you three just kinda leak positivity so it’s hard to stay- i dunno… bummed around any of you.”

Toriel just beamed at him. It was like what he had said had made her whole day or something. He hoped to god that the he was only imagining the blush he felt on his face. “Well then,” Toriel began trying to fight back her smile and not really succeeding, “ **lettuce** try and fix you **cabbage** mood~”

Sans snorted. Something in his soul unclenched with the laugh. “come on t, even the **sprouts** ”, Sans used his thumb to gesture to the running children, “wouldn’t be- **leaf** that you just said that.”

“You shall have to excuse me, Sans. My **head** has just been **romaine** through a rough **patch** all day, today~”, Toriel retorted with glee.

They both burst into laughter. His soul shook with him, the relief was overwhelming.

 

* * *

 

“...and the poor girl was so embarrassed” Sans explained, “she kept apologizing about it and i tried to tell her that it was okay, but she was just too flustered. so she got me my change and managed to hand it back to me without dropping it this time, just as her co-worker came back with my new tray. and so i leaned over to look into the food and then i looked up and said, ‘so this one’s **nickle** free, right?’ and they both crack up. i think pap would’ve been more irritated with me if i hadn’t just made the cashier feel better.” He finished with a laugh.

She’d had to fight back her laughter to let him finish his story, but once he was done she giggled uncontrollably. This was one of her favorite things, when they got the chance to not just share stories about their lives but also explain some of the better puns the had delivered when the other hadn’t been present. “I hope we will be able to **change** his mind about puns someday~”

They both fell into another fit of laughter. Once Sans had pulled himself together he managed to say, “that’s a good one t, you’d better **coin** it!” between his chortles.  

They both de-evolved into more guffawing laughs. Toriel could see how bright Sans’ eye-lights were now and the difference made her soul thrum with joy. She hadn’t even noticed that his eyes had been dim before, not until they had lit up at her lettuce joke. His eyes were one of the hardest things about his face to read, without a reference she couldn’t tell if his eyes were the right illuminosity or not. _Perhaps Papyrus might be able to assist me, he is likely able to read Sans’ mood without issue…_

Though, without a doubt, Sans’ smile was the most difficult part of him to read. She could tell the difference between the genuine article and his resting grin, but when he was purposefully hiding behind a smile she couldn’t tell, let alone discern his true emotional state. It was why she had felt so incredibly daft for not noticing how distressed he had been earlier.

She had merely assumed that his showing up had meant he was okay, she hadn’t even considered the idea that he was unwell until she felt his magic jolt up her arm. It had been fridged. And dark. And very... abnormal. His magic had always had a odd undercurrent, like something unnatural lurked in it, but it had never felt quite that… **distorted** before. They might not have been in contact any longer, but she knew that if they brushed together again he would feel cool and crisp and bright. The oddness would have merely become a caress at the edges of her thoughts.

Before she could begin her second story, a voice called out to her, “Mom!”

She turned slightly and watched her child approach at a galloping run, Papyrus hot on their tail. “Mom, Dad wants me-”, Frisk started, but seemed to change focus mid-sentences as they noticed who was seated at her elbow,“Uncle Sans!”. The child skipped around her with a jubilant laugh and nearly knocked Sans out of his chair with the force of their tackling hug.

“woah, there kiddo. you better watch the force of your glomps or ya’ might take out a friend with all that passion”, Sans laughed as he fluffed the top of their already messy head. Frisk only giggled into his chest.

“HELLO LADY TORIEL! AND SANS THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH PASSION… AND HELLO SANS.” Papyrus exclaimed as he reached the table.

“heh. hey bro.” Sans smiled up at Papyrus as Frisk climbed out of his lap. “so how was work, today?”

“IT WAS MOST EXCELLENT! AND DUE TO TODAY’S MOMENTOUS ANNIVERSARY, MANAGER WENDY ALLOWED ME TO DEPART EARLY SO I COULD ATTEND THE ENTIRETY OF THE CELEBRATORY PICNIC!” Papyrus cheered with delight, but he seemed to remember the reason for coming to join them and continued, “BUT FRISK AND I CROSSED THIS VAST GRASSY EXPANSE BRINGING AN INQUIRY TO LADY TORIEL!”

“Right!”, Frisk exclaimed. “Mom, Dad wanted to know if you were ready to start the speeches, yet or should we still wait?”

Toriel blinked at her child. _It cannot be quite time yet, can it?_ “I do not think that it is late enough yet…”, she started to say as she reached for her phone to check the time. _3:57 pm._ “Oh my goodness!”

“what’s up, t?”, Sans asked as he leaned in to look at her phone. He looked up at her. She started back at him. They had been talking for over an hour and neither had even noticed. _Just like old times._

But before they could speak, the voices and footfalls of more approaching friends reached them. “Yo! Papyrus, Frisk! What’s the rush? Is somethin’ happening?”, Undyne called as she walked up hand-in-hand with Alphys.

Both had dressed nicely for the occasion, Undyne in a stylish jacket and sturdy boots or ‘ass-kickers’ as she liked to refer to them. Alphys was in a very pretty sun-dress and matching wedges. The young lizard-monster had recently discovered that with her tail as a counter-balance she could wear high-heels very easily and because of the footwear's shape, it forced her to stand up straight. It had done wonders for her confidence, being able to stand tall and click around the halls of her lab like she was ‘a big deal’, as she had put it, had been her favorite thing about the shoes. Undyne was absolutely loving the change in Alphys’ demeanor and her girlfriends overall outlook. Mettaton would only comment with an ‘I've been telling her so for years, darling~’. She now stood taller than Sans most days. He didn’t seem to mind. Toriel had begun to assume that Sans had stopped trying to be taller than other beings a long time ago.

“H-hello, everyone. O-oh Sans! When did you g-get here?”, Alphys called with a bit of a wave.

At Alphys’ words, Undyne seemed to focus in on him instead of just glancing past him like she did on occasion. Toriel wondered briefly if she had just grown accustomed to just dismissing  him when they’d been in the Underground. “Yeah, bonehead, we were starting to think you were gonna be a no-show.”

“um… heh. maybe… and i got here like an hour ago, so…”, Sans commented with a shrug. He seemed mildly distracted as he glanced away from her to look at the newcomers.

“What’s with the look?”, Undyne asked as she and Alphys finally came to a stop at the table.

“i was just noticing how time flies.” Sans replied with another careless shrug.

But before anyone else could speak Frisk piped in with a giddy laugh, “But that’s okay as long as you duck! I mean, nobody wants to get **clocked**.”

All eyes turned to the beaming child. Laughter bubbled from Toriel’s mouth as delighted pride flooded her soul.

“kid- kiddo- pal- frisk. there aren’t words to describe how amazing- how perfect- how **pun** -derful that was.” Sans responded with an enormous grin, only to rope Frisk’s small giggling frame into a hug. “i think your mom as been a fantastic influence on you~”

Toriel grinned, “And here I was going to credit you with Frisk’s expanding joke repertoar.” They both just shared a simpering look as Frisk wiggled out of Sans’ hug.

The rest of the group seemed to have had delayed reactions and were now grumbling not so quietly about the pun.  

“BROTHER! I DO NOT THINK THAT THIS KIND OF INFLUENCE IS HEALTH FOR A GROWING CHILD! EXPOSURE TO SUCH- **UNSOPHISTICATED** COMEDY MIGHT AFFECT THE POOR AMBASSADOR FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE!” Papyrus cried out in distress, trying to hide his own grin in outrage.

“Oh Papyrus, I do not think Frisk shall suffer from any kind of serious side-effect because of **second-hand** pun exposure~”, Toriel all but sang in amusement.

Sans shot her an excited look before saying, “yeah pap, tori’s right. **hour** jokes shouldn’t hurt the kid, but i guess-”

 

“-Only **time** will tell!”

“-only **time** will tell.”

 

They exclaimed together, before bursting into bone-rattling laughter. Quite literally in Sans’ case. This was met with several minutes of exasperation and irritation as the rest of the group had to deal with the terrible jokes grating across their senses. Although, Alphys and Undyne did share an unusual look with each other… _A very Frisk-ish look…_ One that Sans also caught. He and Alphys had a brief staring contest, which only resulted in Alphys beaming harder.

As the conversation began to return to a more normal volume and cadence by returning to the typical ‘how have you been’ and ‘what’s new with you’ exchange, when a new voice interrupted them.

“Howdy!”, called a deep rich voice. Asgore in all of his garish glory, somehow managed to stroll both meekly and purposefully towards them.

Toriel did not even sigh. She did not feel resigned or upset by his appearance. She merely felt calm. She did not hate Asgore, not anymore. After watching him spend time with Frisk and the way they had clung to him meant rejecting him entirely from her life was no longer possible, she had simply decided to steel herself to decades of painful future encounters. But she did not receive them, no she had not expected to feel the hatred that had once consumed her soul simmer down into manageable dislike. And she certainly hadn’t expected this change to be paired with the healing of her own heart. But as they say, hindsight is twenty twenty. Now, it made perfect sense that her hatred hadn’t been founded in reason like she’d once believed it to be, it had been constructed by the years of grief and the continued loss she had suffered through. But she had begun to heal. She had begun to forgive: herself, her kingdom, and maybe one day her old love. Not yet though, he had not atoned enough for his thoughtless cowardice.

“Yo, Asgore!”, Undyne called happily. Alphys waived, only a bit timidly, and Papyrus saluted enthusiastically. Frisk called out their greeting as Sans snuggled more comfortably into the plastic chair, his skull coming to rest in his hand as he used the table and his elbow to prop himself up.

It took Asgore a few strides to cover the same distance Undyne and Alphys had had a conversation across. “I do not mean to interrupt, but it has appeared my messenger was delayed.” He smiled down at Frisk, who could only shrug in response.

“Oh, you mustn’t blame them. Frisk was indulging their poor age-ed mother with a few well **timed** puns.”, Toriel answered with a laugh. Sans snorted into his hand. Everyone, but Frisk, groaned.

Asgore looked confused for several moments before Sans through him a bone. “don’t look **planck** , buddy. s’just that we’ve been thrownin’ around a lot of time puns.”

Alphys let out a sharp bark of laughter, before nervously clapping a hand over her mouth. Sans grinned impishly at her and left her to flounder with the explanation. “Um- well, you see- he said Planck instead of b-blank… Max P-planck was a theoretical physicist who r-revolutionized quantum theory…” she trailed off.

“Wait, but babe… why’s that relevant to the whole stupid time thing…”, Undyne asked, with a minor head tilt and an exasperated wave towards the table. She was very patient with Alphys and truly found her girlfriend’s knowledge base fascinating, but the puns seemed to be testing her patience for the rest of them.

Alphys fidgeted a bit, “I, um- don’t really know the specifics about his work, but… um- Sans does!” She gracefully shoved him under the bus.

Sans who had been absentmindedly picking at the paint on the table, replied causally, almost distractedly. “s’not his work. somebody just named the unit of time we use for measuring the distance it takes light to travel in a vacuum, planck time. ‘cause he was the one to first propose the idea for natural units, which are a set of units of measurement that aren’t based around sapient created constructs… like seconds or kilograms.”

Sans kept picking at the table. The silent crowd stared for several more seconds, before Alphys turned back to Undyne. “S-so… that’s why I laughed… it was a physics- time joke…”

The silence stretched and Toriel began to realize that she was not the only one who hadn’t considered Sans’ educational level before. Except for Papyrus, who looked like he was about ready to tell Sans to stop picking at the paint and appeared entirely unfazed. Even Alphys looked a little surprised. _Surely, she must have known he could answer her question… was she just not expecting him to give an actual answer or… oh goodness- she was not expecting him to give an actual answer in_ **_front_ ** _of everyone._

Sans let out an enormous and studiously uninterested yawn. His jaw cracked with the movement. It was just **distracting** enough to get them to shake out of their stunned states.

Asgore blinked once and shook his head as if trying to clear his thought before carrying on as if nothing had happened, “I see... Well, my purpose for venturing over here was to inquiry after the time frame for the speeches and award ceremony.”

This new direction in the conversation seemed to be one everyone was willing to pursue and all appeared to be desperately happy for the change.

Toriel grinned slightly at his wording and caught Sans’ eye-lights dancing in amusement out of the corner of her eye. “I believe that it is plenty late enough to begin. Truly, I was just waiting for all of the awardees to show up and to make sure everyone was well feed before the ceremony started.” Toriel remarked.

“I’ve been listening to you plan this award thingy for like a week and a half, what’s this all about?”, Undyne demanded… passively.

“This ceremony is for all of you, actually, and Mettaton as well. It is to be a token of the Kingdom’s appreciation for all of your valiant efforts to assist Frisk one year ago. They had wanted to say thank you for both lending them your aid throughout their trials in the Underground and as the ambassador of the nation for which your noble deeds saved. And we as a kingdom truly owe you all our thanks, as well.” Asgore expressed sincerely.

His words were met with several different kinds of shock. Each one more interesting than the last. Undyne was simply startled by the public recognition. Alphys flushed several shades of purple as her magic filled her face, embarrassment the main emotion consuming her expression. The genuine surprised elation that blossomed across Papyrus’ face was nearly blinding. And Sans. He just kind of stiffened in place, but he gave no other outward reaction to the news. Their stunned silence only lasted for a few moments before an eruption of words a questions come pouring out of the surrounding listeners.

With a large paw held up asking for silence, Asgore received it. “I understand if you have your doubts about your own heroism, but no matter how unconventional your actions may have been you all played key roles in assisting Frisk. And for that, we can never thank you enough.”  

“Asgore is right.”, Toriel added smoothly. “We all owe you a great deal more than this, but the unspoken debt we, the monster community, owe all of you can never be repaid. But it shall be remembered and honored.”

Undyne looked a little embarrassed. Alphys looked shell-shocked. Papyrus looked like he was on the verge of tears. Frisk looked like they face might start hurting from all the smiling they were doing.

Sans looked tired.

“eehh... i think i’m gonna have ta pass.” Sans said. At Asgore’s and likely her own, confused looks he continued, “it’s not that i don’t appreciate this or something, but this just doesn’t really feel like it’s my kinda thing, ya know?”

When no one said anything he continued, “‘sides, this token deal is gonna be one of those gold coin things with the official delta ruins stamped into it, right? they’ve always seemed like a lot of responsibility to live up to… so i’m gonna take my bows now if you guys don’t mind… sorry for holdin’ up the ceremony, though.”

“Are you certain, Sans?”, Toriel questioned slightly taken aback.

“yup”, Sans said popping the ‘p’, quite a feat without lips. “and someone’s gotta catch the whole thing on camera. i mean the coolest guy ever getting an award with his bestie, his bestie’s girlfriend, and his idol, how could i pass up that kind of opportunity?” Sans grinned at Papyrus. The skeleton in questioned looked to be crossed somewhere between amazement, pride, concern and maybe a little disappointment, but he shot Sans a star-eyed smile in turn. He still seemed to be at a loss for words.

With still curious gazes on trained on him, Sans got up. And with a spine popping stretch he yawned, “plus this will make the speech thing go faster, a real win-win for everyone. welp, i’m gonna go a get a couple more snacks, say hi to a couple a’friends, and get the best possible angle to record this whole thing from. catch you later.”

With his hands stuffed into his pockets and his shoelaces untied, Sans quickly vanished into the crowd mulling around the buffet tables.

“That was very... odd.” Asgore commented to no one in particular.

“You want me ta’ go and drag him back here?”, Undyne asked as her eye trying to track him in the crowd.

But before Toriel or Frisk could even try to voice their protest, a very startling high pitched squeal escaped from Papyrus. Wided-eyed everyone turned to look at him. Asgore had even jumped back slightly in surprise. Papyrus had clapped both hands over his mouth.

After a moment or two longer he removed his hands and apologized, “YOU ALL HAVE MY TRUEST AND MOST SINCEREST APOLOGIES FOR MY DELAYED REACTION TO SUCH MONUMENTAL NEWS. IT IS BY NO MEANS SURPRISING THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, RECEIVE SUCH AN AWARD. I WAS SIMPLY NOT EXPECTING IT TODAY, FOR I AM VERY UNDERDRESSED FOR THE OCCASION! IT IS VERY UNBECOMING FOR THE ONLY MEMBER OF YOUR MAJESTIES’ ROYAL GUARD TO BE DRESSED SO INAPPROPRIATELY! COME UNDYNE AND DR. ALPHYS! WE MUST SEEK METTATON’S ADVICE ABOUT WHAT SHOULD BE DONE TO MODIFY OUR WARDROBES IN SUCH A SHORT TIME! FRISK, YOU TOO SHOULD ACCOMPANY US TO INFORM METTATON OF THIS GREAT HONOR! NYEH HEH HEH!” And with that he took both Undyne and Alphys by the arm and tore off across the grass to where he had last seen Mettaton. Frisk chasing excitedly after them.

But before he had fully turned to leave, the look he gave Toriel reminder her uncannily of his older brother. The subtle smile, the calm look, and the perfectly understood silent request. It left her a little tongue-tied. But she had been right, Papyrus could read Sans like an open book.

 

* * *

 

Sans watched as the last of the chairs were loaded up by the rental company. Papyrus and Undyne waved to the moving crews, they waved back wided-eyed. Both had succeeded in stunning the random civilians with their superior acts of superhuman strength and by the crazy efficiently-inefficient way they choose to load the vans. Papyrus glittered spectacularly in the fading light, clearly the after effects of a Mettaton style makeover.

Sans smiled a little. He wasn’t feeling great, but he definitely felt better. He’s attention was captured by Frisk as they demonstrated to Alphys and Toriel the correct way to perform a cartwheel. Which meant they had to yell as they rolled into the handstand and pose very dramatically when the landed. Frisk stuck the landing, their audience applauded.

This had been a good day, he supposed... all things considered. He’d certainly had worse ones, that was for sure. The sun had started to dip below the horizon. The rental company departed.

It was just them now. Just the seven of them. The first seven to watch the sunset exactly one year ago.

It was a hell of a thing.

Papyrus and Undyne joined their group, but neither said anything. Nobody said anything. They just watched the sunset.

Alphys reached for Undyne’s hand. They locked fingers.

Frisk leaned against Toriel. She pet Frisk gently in return.

The sun dipped lower.

And lower.

And was gone.

Dusk overtook them and soon twilight would follow.

Asgore broke the silence first, “That was just as lovely as the first time…”

And Sans could only agree.

“But,” Asgore continued tearing his eyes away from the afterglow, “I must be up early the next morning, so I shall take my leave.”

Goodbyes were exchanged and hugs were given and received by the large not-quite-ex-King.

 

_and then there were six…_

 

Twilight began to mar the purpling sky with dim specs of light. The twinkling caught his eye and all but forcibly dragged his gaze upward. Transfixed by the slowly brightening stars, Sans began to realize how much he wished he’d brought his telescope. Out here, away from the really populated part of the city, the light pollution was considerably lower. It was the perfect place to view the stars. And if Sans’ memory was correct, then the moon wouldn’t start rising until early in the morning. The sky-scape would stay cloudless and dark through the crisp September night. His hand twitched for his notebook.

Turns out Frisk was on the same page as he was, their head craning back to stare into the darkening expanse above. “Hey, Uncle Sans… do you think you can do one of your startalk things, like we use to?”

Sans puffed out his breath on a sigh, “i’d love to kid… but i’d need my laser pointer at the very least… maybe i can point out some of the basic stuff if you want…” Sans couldn’t make himself look away. This part, the slow appearance of indicators that hinted at a universe far greater than their minds could ever grasp, was entrancing to him. They didn’t reply.

As the silence stretched, Sans finally managed to look away. He knew if he didn't, the view would have enthralled him until daybreak. “besides i don’t think you’re mom would want you to stay up late on a school night.”

Toriel only hummed indecisively. She too was watching the night sky. “I do not think I would be opposed to it. As long as you do not mind, I see no reason as to why we cannot stay for another hour.”

Sans briefly wondered if it would be worth all of the questions he was bound to get to just take a shortcut back to the apartment to get his gear. “i wish i’d thought to grab my laser pointer…”

“WHY SANS? ARE YOU REFERRING TO **THIS** LASER POINTER?”, Papyrus inquired smugly. As Sans turned towards Papyrus, his brother tossed him something. Sans’ hand shot out to catch the small object on instinct. It was, in fact, his laser pointer. “THE ONE I GRABBED FOR YOU BECAUSE I AM THE GREATEST OF ALL SIBLINGS!”

It was his really good one too, the one that lived in his telescope case. “pap, when did you grab this?”

“WHY JUST A FEW MOMENTS AGO. WHEN UNDYNE AND I FINISHED ASSISTING THE HUMANS RECLAIM THEIR RENTAL PROPERTY.” Papyrus answered, still grinning at his brother like he knew something Sans didn’t. Papyrus was enjoying the sensation immensely.

When Sans only stared blankly at him, Papyrus continued, “YOU SEE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND COOLEST BROTHER EVER, REMOVED IT FROM THIS CASE.” And then Papyrus pulled Sans’ telescope case out of his inventory. Sans wasn’t sure what kind of face he was making, but Papyrus only grinned harder. “WHICH I PLACED INTO MY TRUNK BEFORE I LEFT FOR THE DINER THIS MORNING! NYEH!”

“bro…” Sans started, his words sounding a little monotone to his own senses, “did you ask me if you could put that in your trunk?”

Apparently his eye-lights had gone out, given the frozen and uncomfortable face the others were making. That in combination with his tone, or lack thereof, they all began to look a little… disquieted by the situation developing in front of them.  Papyrus was entirely unfazed, he knew exactly what Sans was thinking. “OF COURSE, I ASKED YOU BEFORE I LEFT! I WOULD NEVER TAKE SOMETHING WITHOUT ASKING FIRST!”

“and was i still asleep when you asked me?”, Sans continued, now just because of the effect it was having on everyone else. They didn’t seem to get the joke, but Papyrus did. Papyrus glanced towards the others where they were shifting and fidgeting in agitation. _they're probably remember that stupid letter scheme… at least that seemed to have left some kind of a lasting impression on them._

“MORE THAN LIKELY~” Papyrus said unapologetically as he grinned back at Sans. He seemed more than willing to play along.

Several more seconds of silence and he might actually get Undyne to fidget, but Toriel was starting to look very confused so Sans spoke, “bro.”

“YES BROTHER?”, Papyrus knew exactly what Sans was doing. _god i’m so lucky to have such an awesome sibling…_

“you know you’re the best, right?”, Sans beamed. His eye-light flicked back on in full force, and Sans briefly wondered if they’d kept their original shape or not.

But before he could say anything else, a half-pissed half-whispered, “ _god damnit_ ” rang out over the mostly quiet group. Toriel sent Undyne a sharp look and the fish warrior almost flinched from the heat of her glare. But their exchange had been all but lost on the two skeletons as they both doubled over with laughter.

Sans had to stagger a little to lean against Papyrus while he laughed. Papyrus leaned back.

It had been a very long time since they’d teamed up to prank anyone and it felt good. Sans wiped at his eyes before tears of laughter could escape. Well, he hoped they were just tears of laughter.

“you- should’ve seen- your faces”, Sans cackled as he tried to right himself.

Papyrus beamed down at him before commenting, “YOU ALL HAVE BEEN JAPED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND HIS BROTHER!”

Sans high-fived Papyrus while the other sent them mixed looks of irritation and amused exasperation. Alphys just let out a huge sigh of relief.

“no but, seriously pap,” Sans started again after he’d gotten his snickers under control, “you’re the best bro ever. thanks.”

“OF COURSE I AM!”, Papyrus grinned. “AND YOU ARE QUITE WELCOME SANS.”

“so now that i’m properly equipt, we’ve got some tough choices to make kiddo.” Sans remarked as he turned towards Frisk. They had their arms crossed, and it reminded him frighteningly of Toriel, who had likely taken up a very similar stance behind him. He ignored both the stare boring into the back of his skull and the mini-glare trying to do the same thing in front of him and continued, “where should we set up the ‘scope?” He patted the enormous case next to him, for emphasis.

Child-like curiosity won over mild annoyance and Frisk asked, “what do you mean?” They’d uncrossed their arms to approach.

“i mean, should we set up here and risk only catching everything at zenith- do you remember what zenith is?” Sans asked mid-sentence.

“Yes,” Frisk nodded vigorously, wanting to prove that they’d been listening to him all those nights up on the apartment roof. “It’s the part of the sky that’s directly above us.”

“right,” Sans praised before continuing, “so do we only watch zenith ‘cause of the treeline and suffer from awkward observational stances or do we take this baby halfway up the hill and limit which direction we can view in but get more of the horizon instead?”

As Frisk thought, Sans could hear Papyrus tease an irritated Undyne for doubting their brotherly love. Toriel wasn’t trying to stare holes through him, exactly, now she was just watching him intensely. “Ummmm… whadda you think?” Frisk said after a while.

“pfft.” Sans snorted at Frisk. Quite the little politician they were turning into. “i think i’m getting too old to do the awkward zenith poses anymore, so i’m gonna risk the hill. let’s face the parking lot ta’ get more of the skyline.” And with that Sans hoisted his case up onto his back, just letting it rest across his shoulder blades nonchalantly. It was probably a pretty humorous sight, given that the case was longer that he was wide. And probably weighed more than he did, too.

From Frisk’s “woah” and the small gasp of shock from behind him, it must have been more startling than funny. _what's with them…_ But Sans didn’t really pay them much attention, he just wanted to get his scope set up before it got too dark. _i’ve got like seven-ish minutes before i completely lose the light…_

But Frisk raced after him, burning questions hot in their young mind. “Wait, Uncle Sans!”, Frisk called.

Sans didn’t bother to stop, Frisk was fast enough to catch up with him. He did call a “sup, kid?” over his shoulder, though. Toriel was following them both up the hill. Undyne had Papyrus in a headlock, while Alphys tried to spin damage control. Sans figured they’d all catch up eventually.

“I thought that telescope was really **really** heavy.”, Frisk commented.

“welp, heavy is kinda a relative term. i mean to you, yeah this is probably heavy, to most kids even. but to a monster not so much… especially to a skeleton.” Sans remarked casually while they walked. Toriel’s long strides had easily caught up with them, but she didn’t say anything. She seemed perfectly content in her silent observation of the two of them.

Sans could hear a couple of calls of “Hey! W-wait!” and “Slow up, you nerds!”, but he still didn’t stop. They were burning daylight, so to speak.

“Well, how does that work?”, Frisk questioned seriously. They seemed to have fallen right back into old habits. All of those nights the two of them had spent on the apartment's gravel rooftop, back when they’d lived together, had been filled with their questions and his answers. It had become routine for both of them. Frisk asked a question and Sans explained. Frisk asked, he answered. Question, response. It was old hat for them.

It occurred to Sans that normally it’d have just been the two of them. He’d never really gone stargazing with everyone like this before... Sans just shrugged a bit. “it means that i don’t’ve any muscles, so everything i do is all magic. and i don’t really have like a- magical weight cap either, but that doesn’t mean i can carry as much as i want.”

Frisk didn’t have to actually ask ‘why’, Sans could just feel the curious energy leaking off of them, while they kicked at the grass on their way up the hill. “i can only lift up to the tensile strength of my bones.”

“So wait! You’re like, as strong as Papyrus is?”, Frisk exclaimed.

If Sans hadn’t been planning to stop already, that statement would have stopped him dead. He let out a bark of laughter, “ha! not a snowball’s chance in an oven, kid.”

Toriel let out a snort at Sans’ modified swear, but by this point the other’s had caught up. “What’s not a snowball’s chance?”, Undyne demanded agreeably.

“Sans said he can lift up to his tinsel bone strength so shouldn’t he be as strong as Papyrus?”, Frisk questioned the approaching trio. They were both trying to get a second a opinion, and trying to help the others get up to speed.

He heard Undyne laugh. And Toriel corrected Frisk’s pronunciation. Papyrus made some kind of non-answer to Frisk's question. But Sans was only noticing this peripherally, his focus was entirely trained on the rapidly expanding night sky.

There were three bright lights to his left and severally dimmer stars towards his right. Since he was facing West the two brightest ones on his left ought to be planets and the third dimmer one was a star, it was faintly twinkling while the others didn’t. _so those are probably mars and saturn and that's gotta be antares…_ He looked back towards his right guessed about where Polaris ought to be once the light had completely faded. He took a few steps in that direction, he’d want to get a better Southern view. Cassiopeia was nice and all, but they weren’t facing the right direction for Andromeda anyway, so he didn't feel like they were missing too much. Sans put the case down and popped the heavy latches, this was probably as good as spot as he was gonna find under such short notice. As he swung the lid up, he tuned back into the conversation only to find that the others had started arguing about something.

“Frisk, even if Sans’ and Paps’ bones are made out of the same stuff. There’s no way he can carry as much as Papyrus can. Like zero chance!”, Undyne exclaimed, while she gestured vehemently at an awkward Papyrus.

“I know and Sans’ said as much! But it doesn’t make sense!”, Frisk complained with exasperated hand flails.

Papyrus was starting look as uncomfortable as Alphys was, both had been trying to not so subtly get his attention and had been failing fabulously. Toriel had stepped in deeming it time to intervene. “I understand that you might be confused, my child, but that does not mean you should raise your voice. But nor should you have done so either, _Captain._ ” Toriel said with a bit of a bite in her words. “Perhaps Sans or Papyrus might care to explain further?”, she gave him a pointed look as her soft mouth said his name. His soul jumped a little in anticipation. Getting Toriel riled up was no easy task and a **very** enjoyable pastime of his.

He stomped the feel down and forced himself to focus on something else. Like… like the fact that he wasn’t gonna be able to set up the scope in time, not if he was going to need to give an explanation while he worked. He fished his lanyard out of the case and switched on the red tube light with a sigh, trying to think about where he should start. He didn’t really bother to look over towards the group while he spoke, he just went to work setting up the telescopes tripod. “heh. sorry kid, i guess i **space-** d there for a bit.” _diffuse the tension with a joke, just like always_.

He finished attaching the shock-absorbing non-slip feet to the stand. “so like, i was saying, nah i’m not as strong as pap-”

“Told you,” Undyne grumbled. It seemed that the whole concept had really bothered her. Maybe it was the idea that despite the lack of effort Sans put into his life, he might still be able to reap the same benefits as Papyrus, who had worked very hard to get where he was, upset her.

“-but i might’ve been.” Sans carried on like he hadn’t heard the fish-monster. “see you’re right, if paps’ and my bones were made of the same stuff then we’d have pretty much, been the same strength.”

“But they’re not.”, Frisk had meant it as a question, but it came out more of a statement.

“nope”, Sans popped the ‘p’. He readjusted the tripod again, then checked the built-in level. It seemed to be pretty balanced, or as balanced as it was really going to get. The sky had darkened some more as twilight slipped through his phalanges. “i’ve got brittle bones…”, Sans said on a sigh, more of an afterthought than anything. _this would have been way easier if i’d set this up while the sun was still up…_

Sans just carried on in their silence completely oblivious to the surprise on everyone’s faces, even Papyrus’. It was just so odd to hear Sans talk about himself in any capacity, especially about his bone condition. “i know, it seems kinda strange given that i’ve got such thick bones now, but they’re still mostly hollow. even birds have got more structure in their bones than i do…” He trailed off, trying to decide which eyepiece he wanted to use. He looked up at the darkened sky for several more seconds before he settled with the standard one, they **really** weren’t gonna be doing anything special tonight.

“hmm... so yeah, when i was like fourteen i went through an experimental magical medical procedure to thicken my compact bone layers, even if they couldn’t fill the inside of ‘em at least it would be harder for me to splinter them, anymore…” Sans continued to himself and knelted down in the grass. He started unlatching the barrel of the telescope from the case.

“if they hadn’t done the procedure i’d probably have just fallen apart er somethin’ by now…”, Sans went on, still almost talking more to himself than any of them. He really had to be careful with this part, the lens and mirrors might have been secured in their housings, but one wrong move and nearly a thousand dollars would end up lying unusably across the ground.  

“the bones would’ve tried to get longer without using more dust to make create them…” Sans paused as he hosted the barrel out of the case and secured it the the mounting plate. “but, long story short… that’s also why i’m so, well- short…”

He finished adjusting the external view finder and eyepiece before he noticed the silence. When he turned to look at them he was met with a bunch of stares and a very odd look from Papyrus. “what?”

He was then very startled by the sudden in flux of noise. Both Undyne and Alphys had been shocked by his words but for two very different reasons. Alphys had known him for like ten years and he’d never once mentioned any of this to her. Undyne shouldn’t have ever let him become a sentry, it could have proven to be very dangerous and a medical condition like that could have put the other guards at risk if they hadn’t known about it. Frisk was just kinda shocked in general. Toriel seemed like she just want to pull him into a hug. A very gentle ‘I almost too afraid I’ll break you’ hug. And Papyrus just beamed at him for some reason.

Sans rolled his eye-lights at them and nudged the case closed with his foot, the resounding *kr-thunk* effective cut off them off. He shook his head once before turning back to the telescope to manually calibrate it. His family was weird. “so i guess in the order of questions i heard, al it just never really came up in conversation. undyne fluffybuns recommended the position to me before i’d even asked you about it. i mean i’d just gotten out the hospital, it wouldn’t’ve made sense for me ta’ have tried do something really labor intensive. frisk and tori, this doesn’t really change anything so please don’t start tiptoeing around me or somethin’, i’m not made of glass. and pap what’s with the face?” Once he’d finished talking he pulled away from the eye pieces and reset the declination.

“NOTHING! THERE IS JUST SOMETHING IN MY EYES!” Papyrus cried out. “A VERY HAPPY SOMETHING! ONE THAT IS FILLING ME FAMILIAL JOY BECAUSE YOU HAVE GROWN COMFORTABLE ENOUGH WITH EVERYONE TO SHARE PERSONAL FACTS WITH YOUR FAMILY!”

Sans snorted as he reset the hour angle, “that sounds like tears, bro.”

“THAT WOULD BE A VERY ASTUTE ASSUMPTION!”, Papyrus sniffled.

Sans shook his head with a laugh and plopped on the the grass near his telescope. He patted the spot next to him, inviting Frisk to join him. There was some more grumbling and proud assurances before, much to Sans’ surprise, they all joined him on the grass. “so kiddo, do you remember what the rules for these startalks are?” Frisk nodded confirmation so Sans went on, “so then let’s hear ‘em, we gotta fill in the noobs.” Sans finished be hooking his thumb towards the group behind them.

Frisk wiggled happily at the idea of not being the inexperienced one tonight. “First, don’t move the telescope without permission and help.” They began and started counting out the rules on their fingers. “Second, don’t use the laser pointer.”

“and why can’t you use the laser pointer?”, Sans inquired passively. His gaze flipping between Frisk and the night sky.

“Because it’s illegal and can be really dangerous if it get’s pointed at someone’s eye.” Frisk answered promptly.

“Wait seriously?” Undyne interrupted. “That little pen light is dangerous?”

Sans shifted to look back at her as he pulled the pointer from his pocket. “oh yeah. this thing’s really powerfully and it’d blind someone if you start pointing it at people.” He wiggled it for emphasis. “plus… uh, it **really** is illegal to use in non-designated dark sky zones.” He then flicked it on and waved it around the sky, demonstrating casually. He grinned a little as it cut through the darkness and turned the distant void above them into a manageable diagram.

“And how did you discover that it was illegal to operate under such conditions?”, Toriel inquired, her eyes narrowing at him. She was beginning to suspect that right now might be one of those situations. She would be right.

“heh... ‘cause i got a warning from the cops not to use it. apparently it can interfere with airplane pilots so as long as i’m not flashing it at planes we should be fine…” Sans said with a shrug. “so yeah nobody but me gets to use the laser pointer… just in case.”

Toriel looked like she was trying to be angry with him, but couldn’t quite manage it. She gave him a ‘carry on’ gesture and shake her head. The small smile playing at the corners of her mouth, really went to show how much she trusted him.  

Sans his soul shivered again and he cleared his non-existent throat, before turned back to Frisk, “so frisk, what’s the last rule?”

Frisk looked between him and Toriel, trying to decide if they were in trouble or not. After receiving a small smile of their own from Toriel they said, “Remember to learn something new?” But they way their voice carried up at the end made it sound like a question.

“right, bucko. so let’s try and learn somethin’ new…”, Sans trailed off with a smile as he turned the laser pointer back on.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus was carrying his telescope back to the car. He and Undyne were discussing which of the constellations were cooler… well, it was really which asterism had a better story, or at least that was what Alphys had been trying to remind them of in between her yawns.

Sans would’ve carried the scope himself if a small very tired child wasn’t bumming a piggyback ride from him. They’d fallen asleep while he’d been talking, so the group had decided to call it an early night. But when he’d gotten up to break down the telescope Frisk had woken up, protesting their accusations of tiredness… while rubbing at their sleepy eyes. In order to end the argument a piggyback ride down to the car was required and since, apparently, Sans was at fault for waking the kid up he was designated the carrier.

But honestly Sans didn’t mind, not while he walked with Toriel. They didn’t say anything to each other, both were content to let Frisk fall back to sleep. The silence didn’t really bother them, anyway. Both simply appreciated the others company. They shared a couple of knowing looks. His soul thrummed a little harder with each one.

All too soon they’d reached the parking lot, but they had been a few minutes behind everyone else as it was so they shouldn’t complain. Undyne and Alphys waved as they pulled away. Frisk snored a little.

“I shall go bring the car around”, Toriel half-whispered to him, before heading for her van.

Sans would have protested, but he had discovered some time ago that he might have hated to see her go, but he was very fond of watching her leave. Her small tail wagged a bit as she walked.

Frisk mumbled something and it pulled Sans’ attention away from Toriel’s… _walking_.

“hmm, what was that?”, Sans asked gently.

“... I need your help…”, Frisk whispered back.

Sans cocked a brow ridge and turned his head a little to get a better look at Frisk. “oh, yeah? with what?”

 

“I need to go back to the Underground.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Papyrus talk. Then other conversations are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey mobile users, there is an image in this chapter that might not load for you, but here's the link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ys25j92v492bgn3/Paps%20Pros%20and%20Cons.png?dl=0 
> 
> Click it when you get to the line that says "Pros and cons list". I'll put a link underneath the image too so you guys don't have to scroll back up here to get it.

“I need to go back to the Underground.”  

 

Sans froze.

His soul jumped into his throat. He couldn’t have heard that right. They couldn’t be serious, not after everything they’ve been through. Not now. He couldn’t- they couldn’t-

  _no. No._ ** _No_** _._ ** _N O._**

“no, you don’t kid.” Sans replied, his voice sounded much stronger than he felt.

“Yeah, I do…”, they trailed off sadly. The determination that had filled their words just moments ago faded back into a tired child’s voice. “... But I’m just gonna get someone… I’ve got to help them… then we can all be a family.”

But before Sans could respond Toriel pulled up with the car. Frisk jumped out of his grasp and hopped into the mini-van with a wave and a tired, “g’night Uncle Sans, I’ll talk to you later.”

He waved mechanically at the departing car, his mind and feet still glued to the cement. Toriel called something, but he couldn’t hear her over the pounding of his own soul. It felt like his vision was tunneling, like he was being sucked away- being sucked back into the Underground all over again-

 

 

 

>   _oh god, please-_

_i can’t-_

 

Papyrus had moved around to stand in front of him. Sans could see it clearly. Papyrus said something. He could feel the vibrations of Papyrus’ words reach his skull, but they were meaningless. The parking lot glowed in the yellows cast by the old streetlights.

 

 

 

 

> _not again-_
> 
> _please-_

 

Papyrus knelt down to his level, he was still saying meaningless things. Concern pulled at his mouth and eye orbits. Sans felt his vision tunnel. It was like he was there in the park, but it wasn’t _him_ . Like someone else who looked like Sans, and talked like Sans, and **was** Sans, stood there in his place. Behind Papyrus the yellow of the streetlights brightened and deepened to a stained glass gold. It should have been lovely. Panic gushed out of his soul, siphoning his magic as it went.

 

 

 

 

> _no-_
> 
> _don’t-_
> 
> _i-_

 

Papyrus grabbed him, his face cast into awful shadows by **that** Sans’ blueish yellow magic. But Sans couldn’t think about that, that wasn’t the problem. The small child that looked so much like Frisk, _but_ **_wasn’t_ ** , was walking across the cool hand-crafted tiles, _the parking lot_ . He couldn’t remember which time this was, how many times he’d watched them walk through that door to him in this timeline, how many times he’d **murdered** them in this version. But Papyrus was there and Sans couldn’t let him see this- Not **_this_ ** … it was wrong and horrible and gory and Papyrus shouldn’t be there…

 

Papyrus was dead.

 

 

 

>                                                                                                                                   _stop-_
> 
> _pleas-_

 

Something shook him. His minded popped back into himself. It was sickening and disorienting. He staggered. The world was spinning and Sans couldn’t make it stop. He could feel a grip tightening around his arms. Papyrus. He was kneeling right in front of him. _...when did he get there…_ Papyrus was nasal ridge to nasal ridge with him and it was like his brother was holding onto him for dear life.   

“SANS…”, Papyrus asked in a half-whisper. His brother’s right eye glowed orange, concern was pouring off of him in waves. Sans could see his own magic casting a sickly blue and yellow glow across his brother’s face. Sans wasn’t sure what happened, but whatever it was it had thoroughly freaked Papyrus out.

“...yeah?”, his strained and hoarse voice croaked back. _why do i sound like that? what just happened…_

Without any further explanation, Papyrus pulled him into a nearly bone crushing hug. Sans felt exhausted and the hug felt really really nice. It felt stable. The queasyness started to mellow. Papyrus said something, but it was all kind of blurring together for Sans. It was different than before, though. That had been as if Papyrus wasn’t speaking in a language Sans knew, now Sans just felt too tired to make sense of the words.

But he needed to… right? Papyrus was worried, so that should worry Sans… _i just need to think… or sleep… maybe i can think in the morning…_

Sans shook his head trying to focus. The world tilted violently. Sans bit back his nausea and forced himself to try to speak again. He still didn’t know what had happened, but it was starting to seem really important that he found out… “...pap… what ‘appened?”, his garbled soul slurred out.

“... NIGHTMARE… YOU WERE HERE… LIKE A NIGHTMARE… I DID NOT KNOW… I AM HERE NOW… HOME.” Sans could only catch snatches of Papyrus’ words as the taller skeleton effortlessly, scooped him up and carried him towards the car. It was an odd sensation, feeling boneless while only being made of bones. _… the nausea only seems to be a thing if i try to move… then i guess…  i just… won’t…_

Sans figured they’ll probably talk again in the morning, because that had sounded very urgent but his mind could only latch onto the home part. Going home felt like a really good idea. He was just so tired… They’ll talk again… in the morning…

“‘m sorry… thanks’ bro…”, Sans whispered as Papyrus unlocked his car. Sans was unconscious before his skull touched the seat.

 

* * *

 

“hrk.”, Sans grumbled as he rolled over.

Sunlight was streaming in through his window. Someone, not him, had opened his blackout curtains allowing the repellent morning cheer to slither into his room. He kept his eyes screwed shut against the morning light and considered tugging his pillow over his face. He searched blindly for it and came up empty.

If he wanted the damn pillow, he’d have to open up his eye sockets, which would defeat the purpose of trying to avoid being awake.

“nngggh…”, Sans whinned.

His phone buzzed. _ignore it… ignore everything… sleep…_

It buzzed again. Then four more times in quick succession.

_noooo… i’m sleeping…_

.

.

.

He opened his eyes. Sunlight filled the small messy space. He wanted to be upset at it, but watching the small dust motes floating through the air, floating through **the** sun’s light, he just couldn’t bring himself to resent them. Even after a year, the sun was such a novel thing that it meant more to him than lost sleep.

 _...speaking of lost sleep_ , he sighed. After several more seconds he rolled onto his back to stare at the, by now very familiar, ceiling fan. It looked dusty.

He still felt tired, but what else was new. He always woke up tired...  and a little stiff.

 

... _but not usually hungry…_

 

Normally, when he woke up he was well-passed hungry and it didn’t really matter until much later in the afternoon. But now, he felt famished. _is this how normal people feel when they wake up… hungry and ready for breakfast or whatever… what time is it even…_

Since he was still fully clothed, _like always_ , he stuffed his hands into his pockets looking for his phone and the only clock he had in his room.

His pockets were empty. _crap… i have to find my phone…_

He laid there for several moments longer, before shoving himself up into a sitting position. He had assumed that this task was going to take sometime given the state of his room, but he was pleasantly surprised instead. With the briefest of head movements he found his cell sitting on his nightstand, plugged in.

 

...Which he definitely didn’t remember doing last night…

 

Actually, he couldn’t remember very much of anything from last night, not after he hoisted the kid onto his back for their insisted upon piggyback ride.

He leaned against his rickety headboard and snatched up his phone.

 

_‘8:23 am_

_Wed, Sept. 21st’_

_‘kiddo_

_6 new messages’_

 

It was eight in the morning, why in the hell was he awake?

...And what did Frisk want before school?

He swiped his phone open to read his new texts.

 

 _\--- * I’m not gonna reset!!!_ **_O.o_ **

 

Sans soul froze. He remembered what happened. His magic sparked a little and his bones began rattling. Sans squeezed his eyes shut and shuttered once.

 

**_calm._ **

**_down._ **

 

_the kid just said they weren’t resetting… so just get a fuckin’ grip…_

_...i can’t keep slipping up, i don’t’ve that kinda luxury…_

_...i could’ve seriously hurt tori yesterday…_

_...get a grip and calm down…_

_in and out…_

_just in and out…_

_what happens_ **_happens_ ** _…_

 

He forced his magic back down into his soul, where it belonged. _contained._ Then he gripped his phone a little harder to make his hands stop shaking. He needed to read what else the kid had had to say.

 

_\--- * I realized that’s totally what it sounded like yesterday and that’s not what I want to do! I promise, I’m so sorry I probably scared you and I really didn’t me-_

_\--- * -an to! I just need your help to get back into the underground so I can save somebody else they wouldn’t come to the surface on their own so I have to go get t-_

_\--- * -hem and I know that you can get me down and back the fastest and I don’t want anyone else to worry or have to go with me but i just can’t let them stay down t-_

_\--- * -here any longer, so I really need your help! And I’m not going to take no for an answer, I have to do this whether your gonna help me or not so please please_

_\--- * please just say yes!_

 

Sans didn’t want to help. In fact, he didn’t want Frisk to go **anywhere** near the Underground again. He didn’t want anything bad to happen to them… or the timeline.

...but he could remember the tone of their voice yesterday… it had been filled with Determination.

 

_shit. their serious…_

 

They really meant what they had said about not taking no for an answer, the crazy determined brat would go back no matter what he or anybody else said. Even if they had to go by themselves.

Sans shivered.

He couldn’t let them do that. He didn’t want anything to happen to them, he loved the kid even when they tried to scare the holy hell out of him.

...And this was new. Them coming to him for help **before** they tried something dangerous or reckless. So shouldn’t he encourage this kind of behavior? Not the reckless bit, but the asking for help part… the **trust** part…

He puffed out a breath. His distal phalanges hovered over his phone.

 

_* fine_

_* i’ll help_

_* but i don’t like it_

 

Then as an afterthought he added.

 

_* and you gotta tell tori_

 

The response was almost immediate.

 

_\--- * Yes!_

_\--- * Thank you like a thousand times over and I know you don’t want to do this but I’m really glad that your gonna help me_

_\--- * So here’s the plan:_

_\--- * I’m gonna ask mom to come over to your house for a sleepover on Fri, and then we can pop into the underground save my friend and pop back all in one night!_

 

 _okay, so what about papyrus?_ And as Sans started typing out just that thought, Frisk sent another message.

 

_\--- * And before you ask about papyrus, that’s the night he and mettaton are gonna go on their date, so as long as we leave after him and get back before him the-_

_\--- * -n nobody’s gonna know until after we get back! And then I’ll explain it to mom…_

_\--- * Ask for forgiveness instead of permission…_

_\--- * Do you think that she’ll buy that?_

 

The little text bubbles popped up on his screen. His phone even buzzed with each one, but his eyes weren’t trying to read them.

Nope, he seemed to have fixated entirely on just one of the little bubbles.

 

_...he and mettaton are gonna go on their date..._

 

_...gonna go on their date..._

 

_...go on their date..._

 

**_...their date..._ **

 

Those two words seemed to have taken up the entire screen.

 

_* what date_

 

_\--- * um………_

_\--- * The bus is here, gtg ttyl_

 

_* you get driven to school_

_* frisk._

 

But he never got an answer.

 

* * *

 

_a date. what date?_

 

Sans spluttered at the very idea. Well not the idea, Papyrus had every right to date… but he would have told Sans.

...right?

Papyrus wouldn’t just start keeping secrets from him would he? _pfft! no! pap would never keep something from me… he trusts me._

 

_even when i keep stuff from him…_

 

Maybe Frisk hadn’t meant **a** Date, maybe it was a date for something? _yeah, that’s gotta be it, i’m sure frisk just… made a mistake._

 

_frisk, the serial flirter… made a mistake... about dating…_

 

Sans continued his aggressive pacing around the room. He gnashed his teeth and his magic flickered and things above him shifted. Then he reached a wall and turned in his mad pacing to continue around the room. Around and around, he went. Grumbling and stomping and shuffling.

Sometimes he jerked his hands around in irritation and more things above him moved. Other times he steadfastly kept his phalanges jammed deep into the pockets of his hoodie, his shoulders hunched, face dark. Those were the times that he considered ‘popping’ in to visit Alphys only to ‘accidentally’ shove that stupid robot down a flight a stairs… several times.

During one of the more graphic renditions of that not-so-accidental shove, Sans almost tripped over something. Sans whirled ready to spit acid at whatever possession of his that had gotten in his way, only to realize that it had been his ceiling fan…

He looked up and expected to find the worse. How could he have been so **reckless** with his own magic that he hadn’t even noticed that he’d ripped the goddamn ceiling fan out of its housing?

...Except, he wasn’t looking at the ceiling… he had looked up to see his very messy bedroom floor. Complete with bookshelves and a dresser and an unmade sleep-rumpled bed.

 

...which meant that he was the one on the ceiling…

 

_oookkayyy~_

_i might be... overreacting… a tad._

 

He slowly shifted his own gravity to realign with the Earth’s and sunk back to the floor, changing his orientation as he went. As Sans thumped firmly back onto solid ground, he evaluated the condition of his room. It… well it looked like a tornado had swept through the room, but only viciously moved things instead of viciously destroying them…

He flopped face first onto his bed, he would deal with the mess later… a lot later…

Sans could feel his exhausted soul trying to tug him back into the warm clutches of sleep, but then the front door’s lock *shl-Ink*-ed open. Soon the rustling of grocery bags and the jangling of keys drifted down the hall, followed by a distinctly Papyrus-ish humming. Sans rolled over and stared at the ceiling fan, its blades spun lazily from the aftereffects of him kicking it, but he didn’t really see it.

He listened to Papyrus hum. A long time ago, Sans had figured out that when unobserved Papyrus could hold a tune very well and had quite the pipes, but if he knew someone could hear him Papyrus tried to make his performance ‘more great’ by singing as loudly as possible. Someone told him that if you sing louder than people will think that you sound better… If Sans ever figured out who this misguided individual was he’d… well he’d **set** them straight.

As he listened to Papyrus unpack groceries and hum to himself, Sans’ mind started chasing itself in circles.

 

_pap wouldn’t keep something from me… would he?_

_i know that sometimes, i’m not the most stable, but… he’d still talk to me right?_

_...or... is he trying to pull away? have i been keeping him so sheltered that he’s trying to escape from me…_

_...or... has he tried to talk to me about this and i just didn’t want to hear it… did i push him away?_

_… it’s not like he really needs me anymore… he doesn’t have to stay… and i shouldn’t be trying to keep him here…_

_… just like tori…_

_… just like everyone else…_

_how’d that old saying go… the harder you hold on the faster they slip away…_

_… i’ve been trying to hold on to them for so long… i guess it was only a matter of time…_

_… they’ll leave… and then i can…_

_...they’ll miss me some... but once they get far enough away…_

_...it won’t hurt them so much…_

_… i have to hold on just a little longer…_

_...then i can just let go..._

 

Sans hadn’t noticed the change in the kitchen as the grocery sounds turned into cooking ones. He hadn’t noticed the humming become singing.

.

.

.

Eventually, he did notice the sound of the old coffee pot hissing. Papyrus had made him coffee.

He should probably get up.

Gravity felt like a challenge he wasn’t ready for.

Moving, in general, felt the same way.

 

_but papyrus…_

 

He pushed himself to his feet.

With his slippers nowhere in sight he shuffled out of his bedroom without them. It wasn’t like his feet got cold.

Something tomato-y and something sweet muted the coffee aroma wafting down the hall. It smelled like breakfast. Sans pulled on his best groggy morning smile and continued down the hall. He’d had a lot of practice at pretending he’d just woken up.

Sans wasn’t going to confront Papyrus about his date. If Papyrus didn’t want to tell him, then Sans wouldn’t push it. Papyrus had every right to keep secrets.

Sans watched Papyrus expertly flip a reddish pink pancake. His apron, the counter, the cabinets, and the floor were covered in flour and tomato guts and other baking ingredients. Within twenty minutes of finishing breakfast, the kitchenette would be sparkling again, as would his brother. The coolest dude ever was just that kind of a person, his messes left places cleaner than when he started. He also was whistling off-key to something that sounded like Mettaton’s intro-music.

“you’re going on a date with mettaton!”, Sans blurted without preamble.

Papyrus whirled, nearly flinging pancake batter everywhere. His eye-sockets wide with surprise and alarm. _smooth... ‘your bro’s entitled to his own life’ and ‘he doesn’t have to tell you anything’ so the first thing you go and do is freakin’ accuse him… brother of the year award, everybody…_

 

They both stared at each other for several long seconds. Before Sans had worked up the nerve to apologize and backtrack, Papyrus exclaimed, “WHO TOLD YOU?”

No denials, no ‘what do you mean’s, no subject changes, just an equally abrupt admission of understanding. Sans felt betrayed. Papyrus **had** been keeping this from him. Sans started to say something, but Papyrus cut him off. “THIS IS MOST UNFAIR! I HAD THIS ALL PLANNED OUT, I WAS TO MAKE BREAKFAST AND COFFEE. THEN I, YOUR EVER WONDERFUL BROTHER, WAS GOING TO WAKE YOU UP AND WE WOULD DINE TOGETHER. AND I HAD EVEN COME TO TERMS WITH THE IDEA THAT I WOULD MAKE MY MOST VALIANT EFFORT NOT TO CRINGE AT YOUR PUNS. THEN AND ONLY THEN WAS I GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY PLANS FOR FRIDAY EVENING!”

Okay, so Papyrus had been keeping it from him, but he’d been planning on telling Sans… and then Sans overreacted, _like always_ , and ruined everything. _welp, at least i’m consistently terrible…_

Sans had been the one to put his foot down in the middle of everything so he should try to fix it, but when he opened his mouth his brotherly overprotectiveness continues to spill out, “so you really do have a date with mettaton?”

Sans wanted to smack himself, but at least that had sound civil. Papyrus fidgeted with his oven mitts, before answering, “... YES…” Then as if in a rush he continued, “HE WILL BE ARRIVING AT FIVE O’CLOCK PICK ME UP, THEN WE WILL BE DINING OUT AND AFTERWARDS WE WILL BE GOING TO A THEATRICAL RENDITION OF AN OLD MONSTER TALE WITH A MODERN TWIST FROM EIGHT O’CLOCK TO ELEVEN O’CLOCK.”

Papyrus didn’t say more, he just continued to pick at the dried on batter stuck to his sequined oven mitts. He wasn’t making eye contact with Sans. In fact, everything from Papyrus’ skeletal language to his clearly rehearsed speech screamed that he was nervous. That he was nervous about telling this to Sans…

And Sans thought he felt awful before. Now, it felt like his soul had dropped out of him, he had to fix this. So he did what he did best, he played it off, “cool, bro. have fun.” Then to complete the whole act, he plopped into the nearest kitchen chair.

It seemed to have been the right call because Papyrus’ head snapped up and he blinked owlishly at Sans. “YOU ARE NOT UPSET NOR FEEL THE NEED TO PROTECT MY HONOR FROM THE SUPPOSEDLY DEVIOUS POP IDOL?”

Sans snorted. _god that was such an undyne phrase… maybe pap’s already talked with her…_ “nah, pap. i mean, unless you need someone to, heh, ‘protect your honor’, but i figure that you’re more than capable of kicking mettaton’s square butt into next week if he tries anything, so...” Sans finished with a half-hearted shrug. _not that i won't vaporizer him the second he hurts you…_ **_if_ ** _he hurts you…_

“OH…”, Papyrus replied. He was watching Sans oddly.

 

_keep diverting numbskull…_

 

“so what’s this about breakfast? it smells **egg** -celent.” Sans grinned, his head proper up in his hand.

Papyrus scowled at him, he’d heard that joke nearly every time he’d made Sans breakfast. “AS USUAL, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EGGS! BUT MY NEWEST CULINARY MASTERPIECE WILL CERTAINLY… TAKE THE **CAKE**! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Sans laughed out right. Papyrus looked very pleased with himself, but was trying very hard not to let Sans see it. Sans’ smile almost felt real. “that one was **batter** than mine~”

Papyrus rolled his eyes at Sans, but interjected when Sans made to stand back up. “STAY SEATED BROTHER. THIS MIGHT NOT HAVE GONE THE WAY I HAD PLANNED, BUT I WANT THE PLATE PRESENTATION TO STILL BE PERFECT!”

“but, coffee…”, Sans half-whispered, dramatically reaching out towards the craft as if he was the ingénue of some great romance watching her soulmate ride off into the distance.

Papyrus had already turned back to the plates on the counter and was arranging them. “I HAVE ALREADY POURED YOU A MUG, BUT IT PLAYS A CRUCIAL ROLE IN THE VISUAL DYNAMIC OF THE MEAL SO YOU CANNOT HAVE IT UNTIL I AM DONE.” Once he had discovered cooking competitions on tv, it had been a lost cause trying and convince him that ‘plating’ was not actually important in a household setting.

Sans settled back in his chair and waited for his brother’s grand breakfast reveal. And he was absolutely not trying to contain his concern and myriad of questions about Papyrus’ date and his secrecy and why other people got to know but he didn’t and how long had Papyrus been planning this and-

No. He wasn’t worrying at all.

“NOW CLOSE YOUR EYE SOCKETS, SANS! AND PREPARE YOURSELF FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE MADE THE MOST SPECTACULAR OF BREAKFASTS! NYEH HEH HEH! … AND NO PEEKING!” Papyrus declared as he place a bottle of ketchup down.

Sans sighed at his brother’s antics, but the grin that was splayed across his skull felt real. Sans even went the extra mile and placed his metacarpals over his closed eye orbits. “dunno paps, i don’t think anybody’d be able to prepare themselves for your breakfasts.”

Sans could hear Papyrus moving around the kitchen. “YOU ARE QUITE RIGHT, BUT IT WOULD BE IMPOLITE TO NOT WARN SOMEONE ABOUT THE IMPENDING GRANDEUR ABOUT TO STUN THEM! I WAS SIMPLY TRYING TO BE COURTEOUS.” He concluded with a laugh.

Sans smiled wider. _god, paps’ attitude is infectious._ When something clicked down in front of him, Sans started to pull his hands away from his face.

“NOT YET!”

Sans snickered, but kept his hands where they were. He already knew that they were having pancakes what more could Papyrus be doing to surprise him?

There was some more clicking and scraping sounds, before Papyrus announced, “NOW, BROTHER, YOU MAY GAZE UPON MY BREAKFAST MASTERPIECE!”

Sans put his hands down and opened his eye orbits.

Sans really wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but it hadn’t been this. They were in fact pancakes. Spaghetti pancakes actually, but again not really surprising. Papyrus must have cut up the spaghetti this time before mixing it into the pancake batter because there weren’t a bunch of burned pasta strands sticking out every which way. No what had froze Sans’ soul was the smiley face. Papyrus had sliced up a monster tomato for the eyes and then he’d used ketchup to create the mouth. The tomato-y pancakes even had dimples. Near his plate was a bottle of ketchup and his favorite mug full of piping hot coffee. The mug had the words ‘world’s 2nd laziest brother’ printed on it in comic sans. Papyrus had got it for him last year for Gyftmas/Christmas.

The whole thing was so crazily ridiculous it should have made him laugh, but it was also so incredible Papyrus-ish Sans thought his soul was gonna melt into a pile of sentimental goo. Sans fished his phone out of his pocket, he needed a picture of this. And he needed to print out a copy to stick in his blue notebook, this was one of those things Sans didn’t want to forget. Ever.

Papyrus shifted nearby and Sans realized he still hadn’t said anything as he pulled his phone out. “just a sec, bro. i gotta send a pic of this to everybody. they all need to know how awesome my brother is and feel jealous of my breakfast.” Sans said through his grinning teeth.

He could practically feel Papyrus’ pleased excitement flood the kitchen and his soul. He shot Papyrus a grin. His coolest brother ever beamed back. “come on, pap. you aren’t gonna make me eat by myself, are ya? i mean that would be a real **pain** -cake, wouldn’t it?” He winked.

Papyrus hollered, “ARG! THAT ONE WAS AWFUL!” And then he whirled back into the kitchen with a huff, taking off his apron as he went.

Sans knew it was, he’d done it on purpose. But it gave him a moment to collect himself and not burst into emotional tears over a tomato based smiley face. _come on, pull it together. yeah, papyrus is probably the best being who’s ever lived but you knew that already. don’t go making him worry about you because you can’t keep your emotions in check…_ Sans took a couple of deep breaths and contemplated the face looking back at him.

 

 _… hmmm, with a bit more ketchup i could make it an angry face… just a little more ketchup for eyebrows… i could send it to everybody who_ **_didn’t_ ** _tell me about paps’ date… like a breakfast-y warning of my impending retribution…_  

 

Sans raised the ketchup bottle-

“DO NOT TURN MY SPAGHETTI PANCAKES OF HAPPINESS, INTO SPAGHETTI PANCAKES OF ANGRINESS.” Papyrus warned as he walked back towards the table, dis-apron-ed and with a plate of his own.

 

_eep. caught..._

 

“heh heh, heh…”, Sans chuckled nervously and returned the bottle to the table with a soft click, while Papyrus gave him a disapproving look. _damn, when did he get so good at that?_

Papyrus just rolled his eyes and sat down at the table. Sans cut into his pancake stack to prove that his intentions had not been questionable and marveled, _privately,_ about how far Papyrus had come. They tasted tomato sauce-y with spaghetti noodles. There was a lot of garlic, but it wasn’t unbearable. And, hey, that might even be basil! The spaghetti pancakes tasted like, spaghetti pancakes. It was astounding.

Papyrus had never been a bad cook, it was just that he didn’t know how to keep the flavor in the food when cooked it. And Sans, and Undyne if he was being fair, hadn’t been able to explain how monsters did it either. Sans had always figured it was just an inherent property of monster food, it wasn’t until Papyrus had started training with Undyne did he realize that the magic within food could be physically altered or even removed altogether. Sans didn’t know how Toriel had managed to explain to Papyrus how seasonings worked without hurting his feelings, but she had and now Sans was certain he owed her a debt that could never be repaid. The pancakes weren’t burned, that was only a real issue if he was cooking with Undyne, and they weren’t indescribable. They could, in fact, be described.

“bro, i don’t know how you did it but these are the best spaghetti pancakes i’ve ever had”, Sans commented after his first bite fizzled into magic.

Papyrus grinned smugly at him, “BUT OF COURSE YOU DO SANS! THEY WERE MADE BY ME, THE GREAT CHEF PAPYRUS, SO EACH TIME I MAKE THEM THEY HAVE TO BE THE BEST!”

Sans snickered into his mug of blissfully hot coffee. They both continued to eat, the sounds of clinking silverware replaced their chatter for the moment. While they ate Sans thought about the conversation they still needed to have- No, it was just a conversation that **he** still needed to have.

“um, papyrus… you know you didn’t need to do this, right?”, Sans asked while he gestured at this half eaten pancake face. “i mean you don’t have to make me breakfast to tell me something.”

Papyrus studied his face for a moment, before narrowing his eyes slightly and answered, “ABOUT THAT… HOW LONG DID YOU KNOW BEFORE YOU CAME OUT OF YOUR ROOM?” When Sans only cocked a brow ridge at him he continued, “WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS… HOW DISASTROUS IS YOUR BEDROOM RIGHT NOW? AND BEFORE YOU SHRUG AND BRUSH THIS OFF, I HAVE KNOW YOU MY ENTIRE LIFE AND THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOT RANTING WHILE PACING AROUND THE ROOM IS VERY CONCERNING.”

Sans frowned slightly. Did Papyrus really think that Sans wouldn’t be okay with him wanting to have his own life? “bro, i’m not gonna stop you from living your life… i mean yeah i might’ve been upset about not knowing until a couple of days before, but i wouldn’t’ve tried to sabotage you or anything. or need you to **butter** me up before telling me about your life.” _keep it light._

Papyrus looked genuinely surprised by Sans’ words. His look cut deeper than Sans thought it would. _he really doesn’t trust me, does he?_ Then Papyrus did something Sans wasn’t expecting, he laughed. “NYEH HEH HEH! BROTHER I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD TRY TO INTERFERE WITH MY DATING METTATON! I ONLY DID NOT WANT TO GIVE YOU AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF TIME TO WORRY BEFORE THE DAY OF! AS UNDYNE PUT IT YOU SUFFER FROM O.P.B.S. AND GIVING YOU TIME FRET WOULD NOT HAVE HELPED YOUR CONDITION! NYEH!”

“i have what?”, he asked startled to hear Papyrus’ answer. And not so startled to discover that Undyne knew about this already, too. Maybe everyone, but Sans had already known?

“AH, YES. THE ACRONYM…” Papyrus started, realizing that he probably said something he shouldn’t have, “IT STANDS FOR ‘OVERPROTECTIVE BROTHER SYNDROME’...”

Sans almost choked on his coffee, if it hadn’t fizzed into magic or if he’d had lungs than his cause of death might have actually been reported as laughter. And boy, did he laugh. That was both the truest thing Papyrus has probably ever said and was truly horrifying because of how much it relieved him to hear it. Sans had been so caught up in his own stupid web of nihilism that he hadn’t even considered that Papyrus’ reasons were so… so Papyrus… why hadn’t he thought of it from that angle… god how screwed up was he becoming…

His laugh must have started to sound manic because Papyrus was giving him The Look™. So he stifled out his laugh and tried to pull himself back together. He was only falling apart around the edges, he’ll- he’ll be fine… “s-sorry bro. i just- heh, i just can’t believe you and Undyne named it. heh heh heh.” Papyrus was still making The Look™ so Sans went on, “but seriously, bro. you don’t gotta worry about me and my crazy- heh. i’m probably always gonna worry about my baby bone bro.” He wiped a manic tear from his eye.

Papyrus made a face about being called a babybones, but at least it wasn’t The Look™ anymore. _misdirect, like always._ “I AM NOT A BABYBONES ANYMORE AND I, THE MOST EXCELLENT PAPYRUS, AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF.” He reported with a sniff, before continuing in a more unsure tone, “AND ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE ALRIGHT, SANS?”

“yeah, bro. i’m all good on my end.”, Sans said. The lie didn’t even feel like a lie anymore, now it just felt routine.

“AND YOU DO NOT HAVE **ANY** MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MY GOINGS ON?” Papyrus inquired persistently.

He should say no. He should let the whole thing go. “... ehhh. i might have a couple of questions… but it’s no biggie or anything.”

Papyrus looked triumphant in catching Sans. It might not have been the right lie, but hell Sans told so many that it was hard to care that some slipped through. “WELL BROTHER, I AM ALL METAPHORICAL EARS.”

Sans mulled over his coffee for several more moments trying to work on his phrasing, before finally asking, “... so how long has _this_ been a thing?”

“WELL IF BY ‘THIS’ YOU MEAN METTATON AND ‘A THING’ YOU MEAN DATING, THEN THIS WOULD BE THE SECOND TIME HE ASKED ME… BUT IT WOULD BE THE FIRST TIME I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SAID YES.” Papyrus explained.

Now, that really had thrown Sans. Not only was this the second time, but Papyrus hadn’t even mentioned the first time to him. “so wait, he’s asked you before?” At Papyrus’ nodded Sans continued, “and you said ‘no’?”

“YES, THAT IS CORRECT.” Sans only stared at Papyrus expectantly. “I DECLINED METTATON’S FABULOUS INVITATION BACK IN FEBRUARY BECAUSE I DID NOT THINK I KNEW METTATON WELL ENOUGH TO GO ON A SUCCESSFUL DATE WITH HIM. I, THE EVER OBSERVANT PAPYRUS, KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT METTATON THE POP ICON AND SUPERSTAR, BUT I HAD NOT HAD THE CHANCE TO LEARN ABOUT METTATON THE FASHION FORWARD MONSTER, SO ACCEPTING HIS PROPOSAL FOR A SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY DATE DID NOT SEEM RIGHT.”

Sans blinked at Papyrus. _he’d really thought out this whole relationship thing, hasn’t he… hell he even knew that mettaton the idol and mettaton the monster aren’t the same robot… pap really does have his life figured out… i didn’t even notice…_ “... okay… good. so i guess now you feel like you know mettaton a little better?”

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically, “OH MOST CERTAINLY! BETWEEN ALL OF THE TIME I HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW HIM WHILE I CONTINUED MY TRAINING WITH UNDYNE AND MY HELPING HIM ON HIS APARTMENT QUEST, WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH EACH OTHER. AND I DO BELIEVE THAT HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT ME AS WELL BECAUSE HE GAVE ME TWO WEEKS TO CONSIDER HIS PROPOSAL FOR THIS FRIDAY’S RENDEZVOUS.”

Sans, apparently, knew absolutely nothing about his brother’s life and he wasn’t even sure how things like ‘I’m helping Mettaton pick an apartment’ slipped by him. Sure life had been pretty busy and most days his and Papyrus’ schedules didn’t line up, or- well, if they did than Sans slept through them… but still he should have noticed some of this stuff… right? He felt so tired. This having a life thing was really starting to get to him. “... alright… so you guys are clicking… so um, that’s good… but why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

When Papyrus opened his mouth Sans waved him down, “nah, yeah. i know you didn’t want me to get all overprotective and stuff, but you told undyne. and i know that she’s just as overprotective as i am, maybe about different things, but still… you told her… i guess i just want to know if there’s some other reason about not wanting to tell me about this…” Sans’ voice had fallen some, but not for lack of trying. All of the doubt and apprehension from before was sneaking back into his mind.

Papyrus must not have heard it, because his ever chipper voice responded, “OH YES, I HAVE QUITE A FEW! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MADE A LIST WITH THE HELP OF MY NUMBER ONE BESTIE AND SEVERAL OTHER NOTABLE INDIVIDUALS.” And with a flourish he called the piece of paper out of his inventory and passed it across the table.

The heading across the binder paper read in Papyrus’ ever impeccable handwriting,  “PROS AND CONS OF TELLING SANS ABOUT MY DATE”

And true to title it was a list of pros and cons, the first few had been written by Papyrus but he could recognize Undyne’s and Alphys’ handwriting across the page. Towards the bottom the crayon had been Frisk’s contribution and several lines in a flowing pen had been added as well. _even tori had know about this…_

 

(((( https://www.dropbox.com/s/ys25j92v492bgn3/Paps%20Pros%20and%20Cons.png?dl=0 ))))

 

The list went on but Sans couldn’t read any more of it, not after Toriel’s comments. He had to put his head down, it was all just too much to process right then. Althought, Sans did manage to come to a couple of conclusions before he could bare to read anymore. First, his friends- no, his **family** knew him very well. Second, this was probably the most bizarre thing they’d ever collectively done, so the story behind this list being passed around was likely one for ages. And third, he loved them to pieces, each and everyone of those conniving pains in his ass. _damnit, toriel. i swear vengeance will be… spectacular._

By this point, Papyrus was done listening to him laugh like a loon and tried to reclaim his list. “n-no! w-wait, pap. i w-wanna keep this! i’m gonna hang it on my friggin’ wall, heh! maybe i’ll frame it!”, Sans cackled merrily as he pulled the list away from Papyrus’ grasping phalanges.

“BROTHER, I DO NOT SEE WHY THIS LIST HOLDS ANY KIND OF RELEVANCE PAST THIS DISCUSSION! AND THERE IS CERTAINLY NO NEED TO FRAME IT!”, Papyrus exclaimed while he still tried to recollect the binder paper.

Sans only grinned harder as he swiftly pulled the page out of Papyrus’ reach. “not a chance bro. first i wanna- no, i **have** ta’ keep this forever. second you not wanting me to keep only makes me want to even more. so now there’s pretty much no way you’re ever getting this back.”

“SANS, YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUS!”, Papyrus continued to protest, but after years of living with his brother he made no attempt to get up and take it from Sans. Only so many games of keepaway are required to teach someone, that their sibling is suspiciously good at it and another tack must be used.

“yeah, i totally am… but i guess you could say that this makes us even for that stupid letter thing from last month. i mean that was a **letter-** al disaster.” Sans countered. He didn’t let his disappointment creep into his voice. Sure he had been expecting Papyrus to try to negotiate for the return of the list, but a small part of him had hoped Papyrus would chase him around the house… just like when they were little. Maybe Sans was just ‘Feeling Oldddd!’, and was a little more nostalgic given the current situation.

Papyrus only huffed, but seemed to given into Sans’ asinine demands. Then the pun registered and he all but shouted, “YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE!”

Sans sent back his best ‘cat with a canary’ grin, but he didn’t jump into his myriad of tree puns and let Papyrus grumble and rant while he collected up the finished breakfast dishes. Once Papyrus had made it into the kitchen Sans add the page to his inventory and followed after his brother, coffee mug in hand and ready for a refill.

Once Sans had filled his mug and claimed his, by now, usual spot on the counter next to the fridge and the stove, he was more than content to wait until Papyrus had gotten nice and distracted by the dishes before he sprung his next question. “so bro, how many people did you tell about your date, before you got to me?”

Papyrus hesitated mid-scrub, before replied, “... UM… NOT TOO MANY… AND THEY WERE ONLY MY CLOSEST FRIENDS… AND CO-WORKERS… ET CETERA.” He was viciously assaulting the frying pan with a sponge now.

Sans was able to translate that to, ‘pretty much everyone, but you. you were totally last’, but Papyrus continued, “HOWEVER I ONLY INQUIRED AFTER THEIR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT DATING AND THEIR EXPERIENCES CONCERNING WHEN THEY KNEW IT WAS TIME TO START DATING… IT WAS ENTIRELY FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES… MY NEEDING TO KNOW WHY WAS ALSO… UM, COINCIDENTALLY BROUGHT UP WITHIN THE DURATION OF THE INTERVIEWS… AND SINCE I ONLY CONFIRMED MY AGREEANCE TO THE DATE ON MONDAY… TECHNICALLY YOU FOUND OUT ONLY AND TWO DAYS AFTER EVERYTHING WAS OFFICIAL.”

 _heh. poor mettaton had to wait a whole week before getting an answer… i hope he drove you crazy al…_ “and you didn’t come talk to me with questions about dating… why?”, Sans asked. That part was really sticking with him. He genuinely didn’t get why Papyrus wouldn’t come talk to him about trying to understand his feelings this time. Ever since they were kids and Pap had a question about his emotions or how to deal with them he would always come straight to Sans, so wait made this time so different?

But when Papyrus turned and gave Sans the ‘you’re kidding, right?’ look, he was taken aback. The question hadn’t felt like it had an obvious answer, hence why he asked it. _what’d i miss?_

“SANS...”, Papyrus started his tone clearly perplexed, “BROTHER. WHY WOULD I ASK YOU ABOUT DATING ADVICE, WHEN BETWEEN THE TWO OF US I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE MORE DATING EXPERIENCE THAN YOU DO.”

As Papyrus spoke the lightbulb went off in Sans’ brain minutes too late, but that didn’t stop Papyrus from continuing to stress the point. “AND GIVEN THAT MY DATE EXPERIENCE CONSISTED OF AN EASILY MISUNDERSTOOD COMMUNICATION ISSUE BETWEEN MYSELF AND THE LITTLE AMBASSADOR. I DEEMED OUTSIDE EXPERTISE AND TESTIMONIALS WERE REQUIRED… WHICH YOU, DEAREST BROTHER, WOULD BE UNABLE TO GIVE…” He all but smirked at Sans’ poorly concealed agitation.

“... welp… that’s a fair reason…”, Sans commented helplessly. Seriously, what else was he supposed to say to that? Besides the fact that Papyrus was actually right… Sans hasn’t ever really dated anyone.

“NOT THAT, THAT COULD NOT BE FIXED, SANS. GRANTED YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CATCH UP TO ME, BUT I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO GIVE **YOU** ADVICE… PERHAPS EVEN IN THE NEAR FUTURE”, Papyrus returned Sans his cat’s smile and wiggled his brow ridge in an highly suggestive manner. He winked several times.

“... … what’d’re you talkin’ about, pap?”, Sans asked, seeming to have lost all control over the conversation.

Papyrus only grinned harder, it wasn’t often that he found something that… _excited_ a reaction out of his lackadaisical older brother, but this was one of them. “DATING SANS! I AM CERTAIN YOU COULD FIND **SOMEONE** TO DATE… IN FACT I CAN THINK OF A WONDERFUL WOMAN WHO YOU COULD ASK OUT RIGHT NOW! WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GET TOR-”

“okay!”, Sans interrupted while jumping off the counter, abandoning both his coffee and his dignity as he went, “t-that’s enough of that.” He attempted to flee the conversation, but was halted by Papyrus’ hail.

“WAIT! THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE I WISHED TO DISCUSS WITH YOU…”, Papyrus trailed off as Sans stopped in the doorway.

Sans wanted to shortcut to the other side of the planet to avoid having this conversation… again, but something in the way Papyrus spoke made him turn back around. One look at his brother’s face told him that the entire dynamic of the conversation had changed… and Sans didn’t think he wanted to have this one anymore than the last one. “what is it, paps?”

It was as if his brother’s iconic outgoing and exuberant attitude had drained away with the happy tone of the conversation. “SANS… DID SOMETHING HAPPEN YESTERDAY? SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE SAID OR DID, MAYBE?”

It was an odd question, but given Papyrus’ seriousness Sans answered as honestly as he could. “not really, pap. i, mean, i wasn’t really feelin’ the whole party mood yesterday… but i figured you already knew that… why?”

“YES, I HAD BEEN AWARE OF YOUR LESS THAN ENTHUSIASTIC ATTITUDE… BUT LAST NIGHT I WAS JUST WONDERING IF… SOMETHING ELSE MIGHT HAVE ‘TRIGGERED’- UM- WELL, NEVERMIND. I AM SURE THAT IT WAS NOTHING!”, Papyrus exclaimed. He turned back towards the dishes and the messy kitchen, giving Sans the prefect out in the conversation.

 

He didn’t take it.

 

Something had really bothered Papyrus and he couldn’t really remember much from the trip home so **something** must have happened. “papyrus... what happened?”

He had expected Papyrus to turn back around, but he hadn’t expected his younger brother to whip around in shock. _ookkkayy, this is really starting to ping on my ‘what the fuck’ meter…_

“DO YOU NOT REMEMBER?”, Papyrus questioned worriedly.

Alarm bells were ringing in Sans’ head, but he only shook his head. The air seemed to be getting heavier… or maybe it was just the tension. After several long moments of concerned looks, Papyrus finally spoke, “... SANS AFTER LADY TORIEL AND THE HUMAN, FRISK, LEFT… YOU- IT WAS LIKE YOU HAD WOKEN UP FROM A NIGHTMARE… BUT YOU HAD NOT BEEN ASLEEP MOMENTS BEFORE- … It- it was like one of the really bad ones… where you can’t hear me or- see me… and you’re very afraid of something...”

Sans couldn’t really describe how he felt, but the best he could come up with was the feeling of the bottom of his non-existent stomach dropping out combined with the soul stopping moment of forget a step on a staircase… times a thousand. He almost never heard his brother use a tone like that and when he did it made he want to sweep his brother up into his arms and protect him from whatever made him feel that way… except- **he** was the one that was causing it. “... papyrus… i-”

At Sans’ words, the taller skeleton-monster shook himself out of his distress and interrupted his brother, “DO NOT SANS. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.”

 

“but pap-”, Sans started to say.

 

“NO BUTS! I KNOW THAT LOOK AND WHATEVER HAD HAPPENED WAS **NOT** YOUR FAULT… I KNOW THAT-”, Papyrus began, but he hesitated. Sans watched has he had some kind of internal debate before he continued, his eyes on the floor, “-THAT THERE ARE THINGS… BAD THINGS... THAT HAVE HAPPENED AND THAT YOU DO NOT WISH TO CONVERSE ABOUT THEM, BUT…”

Sans wanted to do something- **anything** to help his brother. To take away the pain and that horrible knowledge, Sans wanted to protect him from everything… even himself. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t whisk all his problems away and pretend that nothing was wrong. He’d been trying that for **years** … and it hadn’t gotten him anywhere...

Papyrus looked up and whatever he saw in Sans’ face made him change tack, “-NEVER FEAR FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL ALWAYS BE HERE TO HELP YOU… **WHENEVER** YOU DECIDE THAT YOU WANT IT!”

It took everything Sans had not to break down right then and there. To not fling himself across the room and hold onto his brother like a lifeline as everything spilled out. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t ready to do that, to rip ever old and new wound open… not again, not now. They’d all come so far… it wouldn’t be fair to tear everything down…

And Papyrus didn’t need any of- **_that_ ** hanging over him. It wasn’t his burden to bare.

 

_... besides… it’s not like it helped before…_

_...not that anything ever lasted long enough for me to find out anyways…_

 

Instead, Sans took a deep breath and cobbled together a tired smile. “thanks bro… i- i just can’t get into this right now… i-i’m not ready for that yet… but thanks… for being you.”

“BUT OF COURSE BROTHER! HOW COULD I, THE MOST AMAZING OF BROTHERS, EVER BE ANYONE BUT MY SPECTACULAR SELF! NYEH HEH HEH!”, Papyrus exclaimed. But the understanding the radiated off of his brother, left Sans’ soul twisted nine ways to hell.

Sans kept smiling, but he could tell that it wasn’t really convincing, so he excused himself under the pretense of needing to get ready for work… and hey, maybe he might actually make it to his temp job on time today.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t like he’d had a very trying day… But goodness was it exhausting being so famous. He only had three meetings and a four hour photoshoot, honestly his battery should not be draining so quickly! And now he had to drive all the way back to his home to recharge before his show this evening. It was truly starting to- **bother** him. All of this back and forth, in and out of the city. Which was why he so desperately needed a humble penthouse dwelling within the city if he wanted to spend his time more efficiently. One that he and Papyrus had recently found seemed to be _the one_ , it even had a separate space for both Blooky and Shyran.

Mettaton let out a deep electronic sigh as he pulled into his driveway. _But Papyrus was- was always as-_ **_helpful_ ** _and- and_ **_reliable_ ** _as ever… And he Said “Yes”!_  Tomorrow he and the ever charming skeleton would go on their official First Date! Which is one of the many reasons he had been so busy today, he wanted absolutely nothing to go wrong tomorrow evening so he couldn’t rely on his- **regrettable** personal agents. They just couldn’t seem to understand that all he required was perfection… was that to hard to ask?

… Not that they couldn’t do somethings right, as Papyrus liked to remind him. They were very good at setting up all of his meetings and finding guest stars for his talk show. They just were not very good at the- **personal** aspects of their titles. Apparently, nobody but himself could arrange, his life just so. He flung open his car door and extracted himself with the barest minimum of required flare. With his batteries so low and nobody there to see him, the energy would have been wasted on anything more dramatic.

The walk from his car door to his _shared_ front door, left him just enough time to start fretting about tomorrow evening. Luckily, both of his roomies would still be at work so he could pani- freak ou- **distress** over his impending date with little to no interruption.  

As the door swung closed behind him, he let out another long electronic sigh. He had never needed to breathe, but the action had always seemed so… relatable that he could help but adopt it. He leaned against the wall as his artificial fatigue started to pull at him. He wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and metaphorically crash. Literal full system crashes were not nearly as fun as they had first sounded and now he was always sure to make the distinction.

 

The kitchen light was on.

 

His home was **supposed** to be empty and if Undyne had left on the light then all of them would have been left on.

Mettaton straightened and put on his business face. Seductive eyes and stunning smile. _Show no weakness, or they'll eat you alive._ Shoulders squared, hips swaying he strutted into the kitchen.

 

Sans sat at his table.

 

 _Sans_ sat at **his** table- **uninvited** . He dared! This was a personal space, a private space. His private space! Relations or not, this was **unacceptable** . He didn’t even look up as Mettaton clicked in, his eye-lights stayed transfixed by some kind of old notebook. It was jammed full of other scraps of paper and sticky notes, the pages looked yellowed. Two cups of steaming tea sat at the table, one in front of his- **guest** and the other sitting across from him. They were Undyne’s nicest set, the ones she used whenever Asgore popped by, on time and always announced.

Sans turned a page.

“Why! Hello, Darling~”, Mettaton called in him most glossy voice. “Is the good Dr. Alphys here?”

Sans didn’t look up when he spoke, “sit down, please.” He casually gestured to the kitchen chair across from himself, the implication was blatant. And not going to fly.

“-Because **she** **_obviously_** must have been the one to invite you over.” Mettaton carried on like he hadn’t even heard Sans. With his hand on his hip and a perfectly executed hair flip the robot went on, “Oh~ But isn’t she _still_ at work? Perhaps you were trying to surprise her and got the fabulous **Me** ~ instead. But don’t you worry, my delightfully underdressed friend, I’m certain you will be able surprise you dear friend some _other_ time~”

Sans sighed and closed his grub- **vintage** notebook, it’s faded blue cover hand been labeled and relabeled dozens of times. _Good, I think he got the message-_

Sans’ hand shot out faster than Mettaton’s sensors could detect and the chair closest to him jumped away from the table. An eerie blue glow faded from the painted wood as Sans pulled his hand back towards his teacup. He lifted the cup and met Mettaton’s eyes.

It was like the room had dropped thirty degrees, but his readout showed no such change. Besides, the cold shouldn’t bother him, it never had. And yet... it was like ice water was filling up his chassis, drowning his soul. Mettaton had seen Sans put out his eye-lights before, but they’d never- they’d never been so full of nothingness. It was like all of the light in the room as being sucked into those two gaping holes in reality. Whatever, **_thing_ ** was sitting in that chair it wasn’t **normal**.

 

**“S i t. D o w n.”**

 

If anyone ever asked Mettaton about this moment he’d claim up and down that he meant to fall into the chair. He’d have said something like, ‘But of course, Darling~ It was all for show!’

It wasn’t.

And he couldn’t even blame it on his low battery shutting down unimportant systems. Motor function was always the last to go.

The moment his perfectly crafted and reinforced rear met the chair, Sans’ eye-light flickered back to life and he continued moving his teacup towards his teeth. The light in the kitchen was just the same as it always was, as it reflected off the cheerful yellow walls. Mettaton didn’t feel any better, however.

Just because he didn’t feel like running away screaming anymore, didn’t mean that he shouldn’t be. He had to say something- Anything! He couldn’t be rendered speechless by, some- some bully. But a small part of him wanted to leap away from Sans and try to incinerate him. The small skeleton-monster across from him, **wasn’t** safe to be around. As words started to form in his soul ready to be cast out into the silent space, Sans put his teacup back down. “ick. uh, don’t drink that.” He said while he gestured towards the cup in front of Mettaton, his perma-grin more of a grimace. “ i still can’t seem to make tea that doesn’t taste **tea-** rrible.”

“Why are you here?”, Mettaton demanded. He wasn’t going to play this game, he wasn’t going to pretend that he hadn’t just been threatened.

Sans shrugged a little and settled back into his chair, as he gave Mettaton more space. It was like he was trying to withdraw his previous threat, to placate and soothe. Mettaton might not be able to read his face, but he knew body language and Sans was trying to give Mettaton the illusion of control. He didn’t fall for it. “Why are you in **my** house?” He continued to press.

Sans blew out a non-existence breath, still trying to manipulate the situation. “can’t a guy pop in ta’ say hello?” He drawled. But before Mettaton could snap out a reply, the skeleton laughed. “heh heh heh. okay, even i didn’t buy that one… alright, so no small talk, i think that’d probably be for the best anyway… so then. you are going on a **date** with _my_ brother.”

The words hung in the air, filling the space between them as some old memory file played back a few snatchs of conversation, _“...s-should be fine.” “Yeah, sure. But Sans can be, like_ **_hardcore_ ** _overprotective of Papyrus...”_ Mettaton had figured he’d be getting the ‘I’m watching you’ looks from over Papyrus’ shoulder for awhile, he had not been expecting B &E level overprotectiveness. _But_ **_Undyne_ ** _did say ‘hardcore’..._ No matter, he could handle this. Sure, he would have prefered to have the conversation on his own terms, but Mettaton was always adaptable. Everyone who is anyone in showbiz has to be. “Ha-Ha-Ha!”, His computerized voice rang out, all sugar and spice again. “Goodness! I should have known~ You just want to make sure that your beloved brother will be alright! How noble~”

“i thought we just agreed to cut the bullshit.” Sans interrupted. His face and posture unreadable.

But Mettaton knew how to play to tough crowds, “Oh of course, Darling~ I would never joke-”

The room dropped several, metaphorical, degrees. Mettaton wasn’t sure why he’d always assumed that Sans’ face expression was a smile… because it hadn’t changed from one nanosecond to the next, but now it looked significantly less friendly. “ **stop** ... i’m not here to listen to you talk. i’m _here_ because you’re gonna listen to **me**.”

When no one spoke for several second Sans continued, “good. now i’ve never been- well, how should i put it… your **biggest** fan. but my bro always was. and now you two are gonna be dating-”

“You can’t stop him. He has every right to live his life. He doesn't need your- _consent_.” Mettaton all but spat. He just couldn’t sit there and let Papyrus’ brother just walk all over everything that they’d worked at. All of the hours they’d spent together, and the laughs and the misunderstandings- Just no!

Sans cocked a brow ridge at the almost seething robot. “who said i was? and yeah, you’re right. my bro doesn’t need my consent to do anything, he can live his life how ever he wants… as long as he’s not hurting himself or others, but like that’s ever gonna be an issue…” Sans shrugged.

This was not how Mettaton thought this conversation would go and it must have shown on his face, because Sans continued on a laugh, “did ya’ really think i was gonna stomp in here like a raving lunatic and declare that ‘you two could never be together’ or some other cliche? heh. you really are a thespian.”

Mettaton had to resist the urge to check for hidden cameras, because this felt like the most elaborate hollywood-esk style prank. Granted, he had never really had that many one-on-one conversations with Sans, but given everything he’d seen and heard about Sans from- well, everyone, this didn’t seem to fit his character at all. He was supposed to be lazy, juvenile, and a little weird, but mostly just crazy supportive of his brother. And only one of his major defining characteristics seemed to be lining up, and whoever said he was only a little weird was seriously understating. “Then why are you here?”, he let his confusion slip into his voice and made an equally puzzled face. _Play it up, so the cameras’ will be able catch it._

“to explain to you how much Papyrus means to me.” Sans answered as he stuffed his hands back into his pockets.

“Well of course-”, Mettaton only got a few words in before Sans cut him off again. It was really starting to get on Mettaton’s nerves.

“no. i get that you understand that he’s my bro, but what you don’t understand is that it’s always been just us. monsters have come and gone in our lives, but we’ve always been together. he’s the only family i’ve got left.” Sans explained, his voice was casual but his words were anything but.

If Mettaton ever got even half of the story out of Papyrus, he was certain it’d make a hell of a fluff piece. Mettaton started to speak again, but the irr- **unobservant** skeleton across from him went on, “so what i’m here to tell you is…”

The room got chilly, but Mettaton didn’t flinch. He’d seen this trick already so it didn’t scare him. It was probably the same effect as Papyrus’ magic, both of their magics were likely just cold. Yes, Papyrus’ felt like that crisp winter chill that made you excited about freshly fallen snow, and this- was the kind of chill the dead of night leaves you with as you walk home alone… in a blizzard- But it didn’t matter. _It was all for show._ His external thermometer started to drop. _S-sans was all bark and no bite._  “...he means more to me than **realities** . so i-if this is just a game for you, than **stop** . papyrus doesn’t _get_ relationships very well. so if you’re just trying to use him for his gullible charm because you think it’ll look good for the press ‘er whatever… **K n o c k  i t  t h e  h e l l  o f f.** ”

Mettaton’s soul spazmed. Sure, he had been known for being the most sought after bachelor in the Underground, but he’d never played with monsters’ emotions… had he? No. Never. He would use his charms to get what he wanted, but everyone knew- that he wasn’t… serious.

 

 _But Papyrus is_ **_different_ ** _. People have to know that, right?_

_...right?_

 

This was new for him. His reputation might have started rumours, but it’d never come back to bite him so openly before. These thoughts should have left him speechless as his mind reeled from the implications, but none of that mattered to him. Not his reputation, not what other people thought, none of it. No what had flushed his mind of his own turmoil was listening to- to- **_this_ ** monster who **claimed** to be Papyrus’ brother say such awful things behind his back.

It filled him with Determination.

 

“How dare you!”, Mettaton seethed as he got to his feet, low battery be damned. The kitchen chair clattered to the floor behind him. “How dare you claim to be Papyrus’ brother and believe something so incredible daft! Papyrus is one of the most insightful monsters who I have ever had the pleasure to meet! You are the one, people should be concerned about manipulation! I mean if you say these kind hateful things **behind his back** then what in god’s name do you say **to** him behind closed doors?!” Mettaton spat his fury.

During his rant Sans had leaned back from the table, eye-lights back in place, so he could watch Mettaton. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t blink. He didn’t even breathe, as Mettaton towered over him huffing function-less breaths. Something crawled along Mettaton’s titanium back and slithered into his mind. He had only seen Sans pretend to breath once throughout the entire conversation and it had only been for effect. Something was very wrong with this situation.

Neither of them spoke, Mettaton waited for Sans to say something, do something, but he didn’t and the tension got thicker. Sans still didn’t look upset or distraught by the pop icons accusations. It made his internal processors switch to alert designation RED. Something very **bad** was about to happen.

Sans let out a his breath as a frosty magical vapor and his face looked friendly again. “good.” he sighed, “you pass.”

“ **_What!_ ** ” Mettaton’s mechanical voice screeched. What did this- this- little **wretch** mean _‘you pass’_ ! This wasn’t some kind of **_game_ ** , he couldn’t just break into people’s home, _MY HOME!_ , threaten them, _ME!_ , and then just claim it was some kind of **fucking** Test!

Now while he stood there fuming with rage, Sans continued on like he hadn’t just threatened and psychologically toyed with his brother’s date, “so, now that we’re on the same page, i figured that i’d let you know that paps’ told me where and when you’ll be on friday. so if the play’s over by eleven, then- heh, here’s a cliche for ya’, midnight. i expect him home by midnight.” And with that Sans stood up and stretched. His bones made a lot of less than pleasant sounding pops.

Mettaton wanted to scream- or pull his hair out- or become **excessively violent**. He’d had a **very** ** _long_** day, that wasn’t even halfway over and here was this- **stupid** skeleton tormenting him, insulting him, and then trying to make demands. “NO! You listen to me! You don’t just get-”, Mettaton began, before something moved faster than even his systems could register.

Sans’ hands slammed down on the table in between them causing the both the teacups and Mettaton to jump. His eye-lights were out once more and despite Mettaton’s clear height advantage the skeleton’s presence seemed to loom over him. “by midnight. because at twelve o’five i’ll start to get worried, at twelve ‘ten i’ll become- **concerned,** and at twelve ‘fifteen…”, His deep voice growled.

His left eye flared with pale blue and yellow magic. It was like watching water drip upwards, flashes of yellow lightning jumped between the evaporating globs of raw magic. If looking into his empty eyes before had been like looking at a void, then this was like staring back at **every** bad and questionable decision he’s ever made. His back crawled with the sensation of being watched. He wanted to run and never look back. He wanted to scream. He wanted to never have to see this **thing** again.

 

“ **I w i l l  f i n d  y o u.** ”

 

And again it was suddenly over. Sans wasn’t leaning on the table anymore, his eye-lights were the same small pin pricks as always, and his posture read ‘at easy’ with hands comfortably in jacket pockets. “welp, i’m glad we had this talk. see ya’ around mettaton.”

And then he was gone, without a trace. He just vanished. It was like Mettaton had blinked and the room had righted itself. Both chairs back where they belonged, Sans’ pushed in and his underneath him. The teacups and poofed off the table and were sitting dripping wet in the drying rack near the sink.

But he **hadn’t** blinked. He hadn’t so much a twitched and yet everything had changed.

He tried to access his video recordings of the conversation, but his low battery had shut off his recording system, it wasted too much power. He wasn’t crazy, that damned skeleton had just been here and now he couldn’t even prove it! He collapsed back into his now suddenly righted chair.

 

*PFFFFFFFRRRRRRRVVTTTTT*

 

The shriek of outrage that rang throughout the block, should have alarmed the neighbors but they were used to hearing ‘aggressive calls of passion’ from the little house at the end of the court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter 2 and with any luck chapters 3 and 4 should be posted by the end of October. *fingers crossed*


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old bond is broken, but from it a new one is forged, and this one stronger than the last. A flower is found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, from my beta: Get a tissue box.

“Sans are you certain about this?”, Toriel asked again.

“yeah, t. i mean, it’s no problem.” Sans hummed in response, more than happy to reassure her.

She hesitated, uncertainty painting her features. She chewed on her lip a little, still trying to figure out if this was a good idea or not. Sans didn’t want her to worry, “seriously, tori. you’ve been so busy the last couple of days… i think you really need this, just ta’ unwind a little…”

She smiled down at him. “I suppose all of this work has left me a bit, **threadbare** .” They both laughed as the cool evening wind filled the small space. “Although, I’m afraid this favor might be leave you **high strung** instead.” Toriel went on, only to fuel more of their quiet chuckles.

“i think you might be underestimating my ability to handle the **tension** . besides, i’ve got a lot of experience with **wound** up souls.”, Sans smirked up at her as she laughed harder. It was nearly impossible for him to find a good reason to **not** make Toriel laugh whenever the opportunity arose.

Once Toriel caught her breathe, her eyes grew more thoughtful, more assured. “I should **knot** doubt you then, for you must have very capable hands.”

Sans’ grin felt his grin grow ‘warmer’, but he managed to not let his blush show. As his soul started to form a response he was interrupted by a whine, “Mooommmm, the sleepover can’t actually start until you gooooo~”. Frisk had flopped down onto the couch when they’d realized the two monsters had started punning, preparing themself for the **long** wait.

Both of the adults laughed. “Ah, you are quite right, my dear. I did not mean to hold you up, but with how excited you have been today I did not want to leave Sans underprepared.”

“yeah, sorry for holding you up, kiddo. but really tori, i’ve got this and you could really use the night off. ‘sides the kid will be a good distraction for me… given the- hrm, circumstances.”, Sans trailed off with a grumble. He was trying very hard not to think about the fact that Papyrus had just left… on his **date** … with Mettaton… Nope, not thinking about it at **all**.

Toriel’s smile was probably meant to be understanding, but too much of her amusement seeped into her shimmering irises. “oh, yeah. laugh it up.”, Sans drawled and hunched his shoulders abit.

Toriel pat his scapula in a consoling manner. “I am certain everything will be just fine, my friend. And yes, I think I will enjoy this evening… once I finish my paperwork… Who knew being a principle involved so much, as they say, ‘off-the-clock’ administrative work...”, she said on a sigh.

Now it was Sans’ turn to give her a consoling look. “just until, december. then it’ll just be you and the kiddos’ assignments to grade… and a bottle of wine.” He said with a wink.

“Why wait on the wine.” Toriel laughed.

Frisk sighed loudly from the couch and fell forward, pressing thier face into the old sofa cushions. Sans could relate to the action.

“Oh, very well, my love.”, Toriel replied in answer to Frisk’s unspoken request. “Now, come give me a kiss goodnight and I’ll be on my way.”

At her words, they flung themself off the couch and barreled towards a crouching Toriel to give her a peck on the cheek. “Goodnight, Mom. I love you.”

“And I love you~”, Toriel answered as she hugged her child, “Goodnight, my little darling-” Sans tried not to wince at the word choice, Mettaton was still haunting him. “-I will see you in the morning.” She pressed her lips to the top of Frisk squirming head, before she released the child; who immediately ran back to the couch.

Sans snorted at Frisk’s antics, before he turned his attention back to Toriel. _she’s still taller than me even when she’s kneeling…_ Standing right there next to her, it was hard not to think about how much easier it’d be to kiss her when she was crouched down like this. He ignored _that_ truly **stupid** idea, decided that part of his mind could no longer be trusted to make important decisions. “goodnight, t.”

“Goodnight, Sans.”, Toriel replied. She still hadn’t gotten back up. It was like she was waiting for something, but on a sigh she climbed back to her feet. “I shall see you in the morning as well~” she continued, her voice melodic.

Sans walked with her to the door and wondered if he was the only one who’d felt like a ‘moment’ had slipped through his fingers. The door closed behind her with a soft click and a parting smile.

Sans’ sigh was nearly inaudible.

But, he pushed it out of his mind. He had other things to worry about, namely the small child who was watching him intently, a small backpack slung over their shoulders. They’d brought two with them, one still sat on the floor where they’d dropped it the second they’d walked in. Sans reached behind himself and locked the door.

Neither of them spoke for several long, tense, seconds.

“are you sure, frisk?”, Sans questioned once more. He’d been doggedly checking in with them for the last few days, hoping they’d changed their mind.

Frisk may have only nodded in response, but the look in their eyes was enough to push any further argument from his mind.

They were going to the Underground. **Tonight**.

Sans’ sigh was more audible this time. With the a wave of his hand and a bit of magic, the open kitchen window closed itself. “alright, bucko. where to?”, Sans asked as he offered them his outstretched phalanges.

A bit of their usual childishness crept back into their face as the rushed to take hold of his offered hand; they still found shortcuts ‘Super rad!’. Their small warm hand grasped his as they said, “The Ruins.”

Sans hummed to himself for a bit, trying to decided how much he wanted to push his luck. With his slow accumulation of his new...ish and extremely **temporally inaccurate** memories, he might to be able to take them anywhere in the Ruins… maybe?

Frisk’s fingers wiggled excitedly in his grasp.

Sans then recalled the skull-splitting headache from the last time he’d **tried** to think about **_those_ ** memories… Even now he could start to feel this **pressure** building in the back of his mind…   _better not risk it, not with the kid in tow._ Nothing like a failed Shortcut to really ruin your day. “m’kay... the closest i can get us is the old door. do ya’ know where we’re going from there?”

Now, it was Frisk’s turn to ponder the question, but it didn’t take them as long to answer. “... Um, mostly.” They sent him a sheepish grin.

Sans rolled his eye-lights at them, “way ta’ inspire confidence there, kiddo.” Frisk only shrugged in response, a vaguely familiar gesture but Sans wasn’t sure why. “alright then, hold on.”

Sans could recall every detail about the old door: the way the snow would settled against it, the cracked pattern created by its faded purple paint, the micro splinted that clung to his jacket when he’d been leaning against weathered wood for too long, how Toriel’s voice had sounded reverberating through it, her laugh rich and _dorky_ and **real** … he could remember all of it. He brought the centerpiece of his old life into his mind, watching it’s snowy expanse fill his living space, the scene’s coordinates permanently burned into his brain. He took a step forward-

 

* * *

 

Frisk always felt a rush after they stepped out of a Shortcut, like everything around them was being sucked towards the place they just been. It was almost distracting enough for them to ignore the sudden chill, but their bare skin practically screamed the dramatic temperature change at them.

 

_It’s freezing!_

 

The shock of it almost took their breath away. It didn’t take long for their teeth to start chattering and bone deep shivers to overtake their slight frame. Sans had let go of their hand and taken a few slow steps towards the thrown open double doors. Frisk had been all over this part of the Underground, while they’d followed Toriel around like a lost chick during those first few weeks of chaos. It had been so crazy trying to convince the monsters that they couldn’t leave all at once, and then once the move had been approved it’d been even weirder trying to convince some monsters that they needed to leave. It had been a scaring thing for all of them, asking them to just abandon the place so many had known for their entire lives… That’s why Monsterkind needed Frisk or someone like them, someone who wouldn’t be scared, someone to help them overcome the trials ahead.

 

*The chilling wind fills you with Determination.*

 

Frisk’s teeth still chattered as they stomped through the recently disturbed snow. Sans hadn’t gone too far ahead, he’d stopped right at the mouth of the doorway. The snow had started to drift into the open passageway blurring the line between the two, but Sans had stopped right before the threshold.  Standing there in snow, he seemed to have forgotten all about them. His eye-lights only studied the old stone walls as they stretched into the expansive darkness.

Without Toriel the torches didn’t ignite to light the way.

“S-s-sans?”, Frisk managed to stutter out. The monster almost jumped.

His widened sockets snapped to them, in utter confusion. It was like he didn’t recognize them. Then he let out a little breath almost like a laugh, “oh- heh. sorry about that, kid. i’m just not… i’ve just… never seen the door open before, ya know? … heh. I guess you could say it **knocked** me back a bit.”

Frisk tried to giggle, but it only came out a chatter. It was very **very** cold. Whatever Toriel had made their old striped sweater out of, it had done wonders to stop the frigid air of Snowdin in its tracks. Frisk wished they’d remember to grabbed it, but no matter they wouldn’t be in Snowdin for very long.

However Frisk’s frozen state suddenly seemed to dawn on Sans. “oh, geez. bucko, where’s your jacket? what’d ya’ thinking this place would be warm in early fall?”, Sans questioned rhetorically, before he did something they rarely saw him do. He took off his hoodie. “come’er, frisk. i can’t have you freezing your toes off, this is whole mess is bad enough. i wouldn’t want ta’ give your mom another reason to have my skull…”

 _Uncle Sans, Mom wants your face for lots of other reasons._ They valiantly did **not** say.

He motioned for them to take off their backpack and then the helped them into the too big coat. “it’s not really warm, but you should be able to take care of that thermoreg part all by yourself…” He was right the coat wasn’t warm, but it was still closer to his apartment’s temperature than they were, so the extra layer was a relief to their exposed arms. He zipped it all the way up, again something Frisk never saw him do. He looked them up and down before snorting, “we’re nearly the same height and yet that jacket still makes you look tiny.”

In rebuttal, Frisk lifted their slender shoulders bringing the hood’s fur floof closer to their face and pouted. Sans laughed. His deep chortles seemed to echo around the quiet forest. Sans helped them get their backpack back on, before his seriousness returned. “so kid… you ready?”

Frisk looked towards the inky expanse before them. After a moment’s thought, they pulled a flashlight out of their inventory and switched it on. The beam of light pierced through the darkness with easy. Frisk turned back towards Sans and nodded. Brown eyes met barely blue eye-lights. A rye smile stretched across his tense features, he nodded back. Frisk turned towards the darkened corridor and stepped forward.

 

_*krunch* *krunck* *kr-Slump*_

 

They duo walked in silence for a time, shuffling steps echoed in their wake. All too soon, they rounded the corner leaving the bright white snowscape behind. The air grew musty and the dark grew thicker as old memories echoed in Frisk’s mind.

 

‘ _You naive child... If you leave the RUINS... They..._ **_Asgore_ ** _... Will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand?_ ’

 

They could have sworn that this hallway was shorter. Frisk was starting to regret their decision to only bring one flashlight, when Sans broke the silence, “so kid… why don’t you tell me about this place? i don’t actually know where we are…”

The question confused them, hadn’t Toriel told Sans all about the Ruins? When they gave him a sideways glance intent on asking him just that, he winked. It was a distraction. He wanted to give them something to talk about so they wouldn’t be so nervous, so they wouldn’t feel so trapped by old memories. Maybe it wasn’t just to help them...

 

_He knows...how does he always know…_

 

Frisk snuggled deeper into their borrowed coat and smiled a little, before they replied, “Well technically we’re under Mom’s old new new house.”

“her _old new new_ house?”, Sans questioned with a curious glance. His hands moved like he was trying to put them in his coat’s pockets, like he’d forgotten he wasn’t wearing it. He stuffed his hands into his jeans’ pockets a moment later. It didn’t look as comfortable for him as the jacket, but he did seem to mind.

“Mhmm.”, Frisk nodded. “This is her old new new house, because her old new house is back in the Capitol and her old old old house is somewhere else in the Ruins, like in the city part.” They explained. “... actually I think Mom built this house by herself…”

“huh.”, Sans commented. His expression seemed to be lost in thought as he looked around the tunnel. _Maybe Mom didn’t tell him as much as I thought she did…_

But before Sans could ask another leading question, they reached the stairs. The rooms above were just as dark so Frisk left their flashlight on as the climbed up the stairs. The old wooden steps only squeaked a little as they climbed.

The hall and the living room beyond looked just the same as it had when they’d left here for the last time, _almost a year ago_ , but now it had a lot more dust. Frisk had never been sure why Toriel had chosen to leave most of her stuff behind, but the old boss-monster had. She’d taken her books and her clothes and a few personal effects but that had been it. She’d cleaned the whole place top-to-bottom and covered everything with white sheets like she thought she might come back one day.

Now the darkened space looked empty and forgotten, like someone grand once lived there but now it sat unused as a bunch of stuffy people debated what they should do with it. The forlorn place left Frisk feeling pensive and a little misplaced. “... Mom’s home feels so empty…”

“well, ain’t that a good thing?”

At Sans’ words, Frisk turned to look back at him. He had this almost nostalgic look on his face as he looked around the house-in-storage. Frisk waited for him to continue and after he gazed around the room for a few more moments he finally noticed their inquisitive gaze. “i mean, if this place is empty then does that mean that your place is full? toriel doesn’t need **her** home anymore because she has one with you.”

Frisk wasn’t sure if it was Sans’ words or his tone or both, but it filled their heart with love and hope and this overwhelming sense of finally **_belonging_ **. Their soul felt so incredibly light as it bubbled over with joy and the warmth from emotions. They had to share it. Frisk took the two steps between them at a run and collided with Sans for the best hug their tiny arms could give. Sans had to take a step back just to keep himself from falling over, before returning the hug with a laugh. “geeze, kid. doesn’t take much to turn ya’ into a child shaped wrecking ball, does it…”

They just pressed their face harder into Sans’ clavicle. They wanted to say more, to tell Sans that it wasn’t just their home, it was his and Papyrus’ too. All they had to do was ask. Frisk wanted to tell him that he wasn’t alone anymore and neither were they, they both could be happy now. They wanted to tell him that they’d never **ever** reset again, that this was the last time… but they couldn’t. It wasn’t the right time, not yet. They weren’t even sure if what had happened to their menu screen was permanent or not and Frisk didn’t want to make a promise that they couldn’t keep…

After another few moments they pulled away and scrubbed at the water in their eyes. Now wasn’t the time for baby tears, now was the time for Passion and Action! There was one more monster who needed to be saved.

“heh. you good?”, Sans asked as they finished wiping their eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. They grinned back and nodded. He just shook his head and laughed. Again he tried to stick his hands in his pockets, but he remembered his lack of coat halfway through the action and let his hands fall back to his sides. “okay, then… where to?”

“I think he’s at the place where I fell… at least that’s where he normally is… Let’s go get ‘em!”, Frisk cheered as the grabbed one of Sans’ hands and made a beeline for the front door.

Sans chuckled as let himself be dragged out of the house and around the dead tree. _At least this hasn’t changed…_

The Ruins were dim and calm, like they had made peace with the world along time ago. The old light crystals illuminated ever pathway and cast pale shadows on all of the carved sodalite walls. Vines and cracks marred the ancient masonry, but they only seemed to add the charm of the once forgotten place.

But all too soon their memory was put to the test as Frisk’s rushing steps lead them to first intersection. _To the right or to the left…_ They slowed their pace as the stomped through the dead leaves and tired to peer down each hallway. They looked identical. Both had the same kinds of cracks and the same kind of weird Underground ivy growing across the paths. Frisk had almost always come from the other direction and they’d only made this backwards journey a few times… but they had to decide… right or left?

As they turned to the left planning on returning to their speedy pace, Sans stopped them. “woah, there sprout. i thought you wanted to go to the place where you fell, ain’t that the other way? this way’s the market.” He concluded with a bit of a head jerk in the direction they were heading.

Frisk blinked at Sans in shock. “How do you know that? ...I thought you’d never been in the Ruins before?”, Frisk blurted out without thinking.

Now was Sans’ was the one to freeze with shock. Frisk could feel his hand stiffen in their grasp and his eye-lights widened briefly. That didn’t look like the face of someone who’d been caught in a lie, no... that looked like someone who had been taken by surprise… It was like Sans hadn’t known he knew about the Ruins. But then it was gone and his smile hid everything from them. “heh. yeah, but ya’ know, tori’d talk about her day-ta-day life around this place. some of it must have stuck.” He shrugged it off with a laugh. “but you’d know this place better than me any day… and i wouldn’t want ta’ **ruin** this trip for ya’, so lead the way.”

Frisk watched him for another second, but he’d tightened up like a clam. Sans was never one to share and it didn’t look like that was changing anytime soon, but they wanted to see if he was right… They completely changed course and headed towards the right, still dragging the older skeleton-monster behind them.

Before they’d even made it halfway down the hall Frisk could start to make out the old spike plates that used to be part of one of Toriel’s traps. _This really had been the_ **_right_ ** _way_ . Frisk looked over their shoulder ready to share this gem with their punny uncle, but Sans had gone- well, not **pale** exactly, but maybe... less shiny? The skelebros’ bones always seemed to have this subtle gloss to them, as if they’d been polished, but now Sans seemed to have lost that ‘healthy’ shine. He’d stuffed his free hand back into his pocket. When he noticed their eyes on him, he shot them a reassuring smile that seemed genuine… but with Sans it was always did.

Frisk decided not to mention Sans’ uncanny sense of direction, opting for more Ruins trivia. “So this next puzzle Mom, said was the hardest to make.”

“oh? and why’s that, bucko?”, Sans prompted on cue. He squeezed their hand, just once, like a thank you for dropping the subject. Frisk wish he hadn’t, because they weren’t done yet. Not by a long shot. But they’d wait until they had more information…

“Yep!”, Frisk exclaimed. “She said that trying to scavenge up the parts to make big switches had taken her a while. But she had enjoyed the challenge and she said she’d had fun painting each one.”

They entered the first- well, really the last puzzle room. The vines on the walls had grown down and over the path, one of the columns had been attacked by one such plant. It had been one of the weirder puzzles, trying to find the right switch each one hidden in a different spot than the last room’s switches. “I wish I’d remembered to ask her how she got puzzle to look like it made a complete circle without doing it…” Frisk trailed off as they wiped the dust of the sign on their right.

“oh i don’t think she did. these rooms probably make a spiral to avoid somethin’, hence the columns.” Sans replied as he clacked a bony knuckle against the said piece of masonry.

“Really?”, they asked, “but wait… if it was like a spiral then wouldn’t the this room be smaller than the last?” Frisk tried to remember how this puzzle had looked. It had been four rooms, but they’d all been squared up with each other… hadn’t they?

Sans laughed a bit at their perplexed face. “i mean yeah, if they were all on the same level. these rooms probably slope up ‘er down, it’s just that the incline is so shallow you don’t notice. but the columns got put up here to help keep the tunnel stable…” Sans explained with a shrug and he stuck his free hand back into his pocket, while they walked over the next deactivated spike plate. “if i had a ball, er somethin’, i’d be able to show ya’…” Sans hummed as his slippers scuffed over the dirt.

Now that, Frisk could help with. They stopped walking and released Sans’ hand. He paused too, watching them try to pull off their pack. They’d gotten a little stuck in their rush and Sans had to help them untangle the straps from the jacket. “woah, kiddo. we’re not in a hurry… what’s up?”

Frisk rummaged around in their bag for a few moments, trying not to disturb the pot and its towel cushion too much. But soon enough they had found what they’d been looking for, a ball! It wasn’t really big, but it was pretty light and would be easy to push around without hands… or use for whatever Sans needed it for. Frisk presented Sans with the ball in a dramatic flourish and a waggle of their eyebrows.

Sans snorted, “what else have you got in there, kid? sunblock?” He nodded a bit towards the towel in jest, but he took the offered ball. Frisk beamed back and tugged their backpack back on, as Sans headed for the center of the room.

He looked between the two archways and re-centered himself, trying to stand exactly halfway between both of them. After a few more side steps to finish up his positioning he spoke, “now, if this ball heads back the way we came we’re heading up hill and if it rolls the way we need to go we’re going down hill.”

Frisk stood nearby and nodded their understanding. The concept was fairly straightforward but, they’d have never thought to use a ball to figure out how these rooms appeared to defy physics. This was kind of neat, like a low-key science experiment. Frisk couldn’t wait to tell MK about this… _He’s gonna be so jealous!_

“alrighty, then. three... two… one.” Sans counted down, then he dropped the ball. At first it just bounced a couple of times and started to drift off towards one of the walls. Sans just watched the ball ricochet off the wall and head back towards them, seeming to be perfectly at ease with his hands back in his jeans’ pockets.

But Frisk couldn’t sit still, they followed the ball around as it rolled through the room eventually making its way towards the room they’d come from. “So we’re heading up hill.”, Frisk declared as they pointed at the slowing ball.

But when they made to pick it up Sans’ called out to them, “not so fast, kid. i don’t think the ball is quite done yet.”

And as they were about to ask the skeleton what he meant, the ball came to a stop right before the spike plate… only for it to start rolling backwards. Frisk jumped out of its way and watched with amazement as the small green ball rolled right past where Sans had dropped it, curve around the L-shaped room and move towards the next door. “Cool…”, Frisk breathed.

As their ball got closer to the next door it started to pick up speed and so did Frisk. They wanted to see if it made it all the way out of the spiral without stopping. They heard Sans call, “don’t get too far ahead.” as they raced by him, determined to keep the ball in their sights. Frisk just laughed as the ran into the next room, this was really kind of awesome!

Sure enough, the ball made it through the next two rooms with ease, curving around them just like it had done in the first and picking up speed as it went. It, however, was no match for Frisk’s excited energy and they effortlessly kept pace with it, sometimes call back to Sans with excited comments. He was strolling along behind them, a more-than-just-casual smile on his face. Frisk figured their excitement over something so silly was amusing him.

They were half right.

“I can’t believe it made it all the way down here!” Frisk cheered as Sans made it out of the last- er, first of spiral puzzle rooms. They were bouncing around the ball and the location it had eventually come to a stop at. Luckily, it hadn’t rolled onto one of the false floor spaces that lined both sides of the room.

As Sans approached they swung their bag off their back, this time without getting it caught and stuffed the ball back into their backpack. “welp, i figured it’d end up somewhere a- **round** here.”

Frisk giggled as they tried to zip up their backpack without getting their sleeves stuck. “you a- **sphere** to be struggling there, you want any help?”

They shook their head. They could do it by themself. After all, they were almost _eleven_.

After another unsuccessful attempt, they decided that they didn’t really need the jacket anymore. It wasn’t really cold in the Ruins and with all the running around they’d just done, Frisk felt nice and toasty. So they just tugged the too big coat off and handed it back to the grinning skeleton.

“you sure?” Sans inquired as they finished zipping up their bag. Frisk nodded and pulled their pack back on. “whatever you say, kid. just lemme know if you wanna use it again, m’kay?”

Again they nodded before starting to head for the next room. Sans’ shuffling steps soon caught up with them as his hands drifted back into their natural habitat. “what’s up, frisk? our **hill** -arious discovery **ruin** the mood?”

Frisk laughed and pushed at Sans. They weren’t really sure why they didn’t want to talk… but it just didn’t feel right. They’d never really talked in the Ruins before, not in any of timelines they could remember… so maybe it was just an old habit. Frisk wrinkled their nose at the thought, but they still didn’t speak as they walked through the Froggit-less Froggit room.

The Ruins just felt... so empty, without anyone there to talk to or guide them… it reminded them of other times when the Ruins were... **empty** …

Frisk still couldn’t bare to speak, but they reached their hand into Sans’ pocket. They needed to remind themself that they weren’t alone, and that this wasn’t like before…

Sans blinked down at them and their invading fingers gripping onto his phalanges. He looked like he was going to say something funny, but when he caught their eyes he stopped walking. “frisk, what is it? what’s wrong?”

He pulled their linked hands out of his pocket, but he didn’t let go. He just waited for them, waited for them to find their words. The pressed their head against his sternum and Sans’ tried to hug them as best he could with one arm. Still, he waited.

Frisk’s mind chased hundreds of things to say, thousands of words, but they just could quite reach them. They wanted to tell him, to says what was bother them, to explain why they were upset… they wanted to call for help.

But they couldn’t.

And yet, Sans heard them all the same.

“it’s too quiet… like everybody who should be here, isn’t?”, Sans answered his own question. His words made his ribcage rumble a bit, they nodded and used their free hand to grab onto his jacket. They didn’t cry. All of those tear had been wept hundreds of times over, but it still hurt, it still made their soul ache and their lungs burn.

Sans didn’t say anything else, but he still held onto them. He waited with them while the worked through all of the old and new emotions that bubbled through their mind and lashed at their soul. The fear and the heartache, the joy that wasn’t theirs, the guilty that filled two souls not just one, the regrets and the relief, and the weariness of a life lived on loop...

Eventually, tirade slowed and their emotions calmed. Frisk squeezed Sans tighter for another moment, before pulling away. Still their eyes remained dry.

“better?”, Sans questioned after a moment of intense study.

Frisk started to nodded, before they cleared their throat and replied, “... yeah…”

Sans’ eye-lights searched their face for several more seconds before he said, “kid- look, i know that you know that i don’t really like talking about all of… _that_ . but if you ever want ta’- or need ta’ talk with someone, you can **always** come to me.”

Frisk smiled up at Sans’ serious expression, “I know, Uncle Sans.”

“good.”, he replied with a head bob. Then he reached up and mussed their mop of hair, “now, let’s get going, it’s almost past my bedtime.”

Frisk giggled and walked onward, swing their still joined fingers between them. The duo carried on like they had before, walking from room to room cracking jokes and providing anecdotes about every new puzzle or sign. If it hadn’t been for the stone ceiling Frisk would have easily confused this with any of the other times Sans had walked them home from school when Toriel needed to stay late. _I almost wish Nathan was down here with us… then I could talk Sans into getting Nicecream while we walk…_

 

* * *

 

The two passed by the old spider bake sale and the room where the mouse finally got the cheese.

Now, they were laughing merrily as Sans told them about how he ended up with a pet rock as they passed through the empty rock room. Derk, the monster-rock, had moved out but the two decoy rock still remained.

“yeah... papyrus had felt so bad for the poor guy he let him crash at our house, but soon he and i really hit it off and paps could stand our **sediment-** ary lifestyle. he said that chris couldn’t stay if he wasn’t gonna pull his own weight, but i made a deal with pap that i’d take care of ‘em. i don’t quite remember what he said but it was somethin’ like ‘what like he’s your pet, now!?’ and it just sort of stuck. papyrus always needed up being the one to give chris dinner, but he really felt like part of the family, ya’ know?” Sans laughed as he helped Frisk scrambled down off the rock they’d climbed up onto. “last i heard he got a great gig at a geology museum as an interactive exhibit.”

“I bet he **rocks** at it!”, Frisk exclaimed with a grin as the skipped towards the next room. Once the floor came into sight Frisk stopped dead. _Shoot! I don’t remember this one…_

“nice one kid, that one was **gold** \- hey, what’s up?”, Sans asked as he noticed their intense expression.

Frisk looked at the room covered with a false floor, then back at Sans a small idea wiggled in the back of their mind. * _You know… if he remembered which way to go, maybe he’ll remember how to get across...*_  At last Frisk answered, “... um, I don’t know which parts of the floor are safe…”

Sans studied the puzzle before them for several long minutes. With his hands in his pockets and his eye orbits narrowed he finally rocked back on his heels and said, “shouldn’t there be stairs?”

“Huh?”, Frisk muttered. That really hadn’t been the answer they’d been expecting. Frisk had hoped for something more dramatic, like ‘no worries kid, i do’ and then they would have been able to interrogate him. This was the opposite of what they’d wanted, it sounded reasonable, if a little odd. _*Kinda like Sans…*_

“i mean, if you fell and need to try again wouldn’t there be stairs or somethin’?” Sans inquired. At their nod, Sans just stepped onto the closest marred floor space. The dirt gave way and dropped down into the room below. “come on, kiddo. whaddya’ waiting for?” His deep voice echoed up.

Frisk rolled their eyes and jumped down after the, supposed, adult with them. Before they reach the floor something chilly touched their soul and a soft ping echoed in their mind. They stopped falling. With a gentle motion Sans placed them safely onto the leaf strewn floor and freed their soul. Frisk touched the place where their soul had re-entered their chest, something like that hadn’t happened in a long time.

“sorry… i didn’t mean ta’ spooky ya’...”, Sans apologized as he watched their blank face.

Frisk blinked back the nostalgic feeling and before reassuring the concerned skeleton-monster, “You didn’t. It’s just been a while since someone’s used magic on me… I kinda miss it.”

As they strolled through the once neatly leaf labeled path, Sans gave them a funny look, “you miss being attacked by, like, everyone you met?”

“Na-ooo~”, Frisk responded on a laugh. “I miss the connection part… getting to feel everybody’s magic… I dunno…” Frisk trailed off as they kicked at the leaves in front of them, “... it was kinda cool, I guess.”

Sans seemed to be mulling over his next words carefully as they climbed the steps back up to the previous room. “... families do that sorta thing. the causal touches of magic, deal… i think if you mentioned it to everybody else, that you miss it i mean, they’d probably included you in all of  that too…”

“Really? Do you think so?… I mean, I don’t want encroach on a monster only thing, er something…”, Frisk replied in almost a whisper. The watched their sneakers kick up little clouds of dirt as the shuffled along behind the older being. Of course, with their head down they hadn’t seen that Sans had suddenly stopped in front of them. “Oops!”, Frisk exclaimed as they backed up, they hadn’t meant to walk into him.

When Sans turned, he was the weirdest expression. “kid. kiddo. buddy. frisk. there aren’t monster things and human things, just family things. especially with us. i thought you figured that out by now?”

“Yeah, but if I have to ask then doesn’t that mean it doesn’t count or something?”, Frisk asked agitatedly, they even flapped their hands around a little.

Sans shook his head, “nope. it total still counts.” With a nudge of his elbow he motioned for them to walk and talk. “i think the really reason why nobody’s been including you in that stuff was ‘cause they’d all figured you wouldn’t like it.”

“No!”, Frisk exclaimed. “That’s like super duper wrong! Why would everyone think that I wouldn’t like to feel their to magic? It’s such an important thing for monsters...” Their words petered out. _How could they think, that I’d reject something so- so-_ **_meaningful_ ** _?_

“welp, it’s probably go a lot to do with the fact that, your first experience with magic was, pretty much, **everybody** trying to hurt you.” Sans returned with a shrug.

“Oh…”, was all Frisk managed. That made sense, they just hadn’t wanted to scare Frisk with something that had been used to hurt them… But magic also healed them and it tasted amazing and it such an important part of a monster, how could Frisk every reject them for it?

“Well none of that matters!” Frisk declared after several moments of contemplative silence.

Sans chuckled and gave a them sideways glance, “well, go tell them that, then.”

“I will!”

 

*The knowledge that you will become closer with your family fills you with Determination*

 

They both laughed at Frisk’s excited outburst, and they carried on in a companionable silence.

 

* * *

 

As Frisk walked  down the long hall, they contemplated the sign that they remembered from the Monster Candy room. _Did it mean that I could only have one total or could I have one each time I’m in the Underground… Are there even any candy’s still left back there?_ But all too soon their pleasant thoughts were disrupted by their Uncle.  

“so, frisk… who is this monster we’re trying to help?”, Sans asked.

Frisk tried not to blanche. When they told Sans, because they were **going** to have to tell him at some point, they… well, they didn’t know what would happen, but it probably wouldn’t be good. Sans had made it very clear that he didn’t trust Flowey and Flowey had said some… not so nice things about Sans before… In hindsight, this probably hadn’t been their best idea.

However, despite Toriel not being there she still managed to save them. The trap just came into view was nothing, but activated spike plates and impassable water. Frisk knew that the plates were fake, but with any luck it would make for a good distraction. At least until they figured out how they wanted to tell Sans about Flowey… “Shoot!” Frisk exclaimed at the sight of the trap. “I don’t remember how to get past this one… Mom just did it for me the first time… she’d said that this one was **too hard** for me…”, Frisk trailed off as they glanced at Sans out of the corner of their eye. _Did he buy it?_

 

_*Not with that ham-handed acting he didn’t.*_

 

But Sans didn’t seem phased by the trap or by their words. He looked very relaxed actually, almost like he’d done this hundreds of times… “no worries, kid. these aren’t real spike plates. we can just stroll on through. heh, no need to be a **stick** ler about the footwork.”, Sans grinned.

Frisk couldn’t have asked for a better opening to turn the tables. They put on their best shocked face and asked, “But, Uncle Sans how did you know that?”

The humor in his smile died as his eye-lights flicked towards them and then away. They watched as his relaxed posture contorted into a closed off one, his shoulders hunching and his arms pulled closer in. Frisk wished they hadn’t said anything.

“... kid, i- it’s hard to explain… how about we just get across this puzzle deal first, ‘kay?”, Sans said, his words a bit strained.

Frisk just nodded. The spikes had seemed enormous the first time they’d seen them, but now after traversing the Ruins time and time again, they hardly seemed like an obstacle. Not to say that they weren’t dangerous, they could still leave some pretty nasty scratches if the duo weren’t careful. Sans went first pressing carefully down on the spikes with his foot, as he applied pressure they retracted with a resounding *shling-k*. They both carefully picked their way across the zone and Frisk was glad they had decided to take this slowly because it turns out without proper maintenance the retracting mechanisms had a tendency to jam. But after several silent minutes of tentative stepping they had made it to the other side, unscathed.

Sans gestured for them to keep going, so Frisk did… but not without saying what was on their mind first. “ ‘m sorry, Uncle Sans. I didn’t mean to press, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Sans just ruffled their hair while they walked by the sign that had given them their very first puzzle hint. “ s’okay, frisk… sometimes there are just things i don’t- uh, that i **can’t** talk about…” , Sans trailed off with a sigh, but he didn’t say anything more.

As the silence stretched they got closer and closer to their goal, but Frisk hadn’t told Sans about Flowey and Sans didn’t sound like he was going to say anything else, either. It made them feel uncomfortable and that eerie abandonment feeling started creeping back. _That’s where the first dummy was… but they aren’t here now… nobody is._

 

 _*If you keep up that mopy act for much longer, I’m gonna get ticked off...*_  

 

Frisk just shook off the others non-threat, it was just how they showed they cared. But then Sans broke the silence and pulled their attention back to the situation at hand.

“... i remember.”

Frisk didn’t know what he meant by that, but it made their stomach sink. Sometimes things were better left forgotten…

After a deep breath Sans looked at them and continued in a hushed voice, “i- um, i never really remembered all of the resets… at least i didn’t use too… well, i never really remembered yours anyway… that didn’t make any sense, did it?”, Sans sighed and scrubbed at his face. “okay. so look, i’d never **know** exactly what was gonna happen after each reset. but i’d get like, extreme deja vu about something that might happen and so i could get there before it did, but i knew it wasn’t deja vu… does that make sense?”

Frisk nodded, they thought they knew what he meant; sometimes it had happened to them too. With their confirmation Sans continued, “but that wasn’t the only thing… i’d also get some- well, **really** awful nightmares and they’d be of stuff that hadn’t happened but could happen… or had happened… i’d never been sure… but anyways, i’d never really known about your resets, not clearly. not until recently, actually…”

Frisk waited for Sans to speak.

He didn’t start back up again.

The silence stretched.

Eventually, Frisk managed to prompt Sans back into his explanation. All it took was a deep breath and a well placed question.

“What do you mean?”

“...about six months ago, i started getting these- visions, of things that never happened. i started regaining my memories from **every** single reset. but they were from **_more_ ** than just the week you had been in the underground… i can remember the three months that had past **after** you had gone through the barrier, but before the new reset had began.” Sans answered, one of his hands was pressing against his forehead, almost like it hurt. “so much happened… and each time they were so **_different_ ** … tori was queen or she wasn’t… sometimes i’d moved to the ruins with her and sometimes i didn’t… sometimes paps’ was king-” Sans suddenly staggered.  

“Sans!”, Frisk shouted in alarm, but he waved them off before they could try to help him.

“n-no i need to finish this first… look the problem is that i can’t tell which ones are from this timeline… at least not right away… i’ll just remember things and assume that they happened during **this** linear progression… and when i try to think about this- i- it **hurts**. a lot. too much happened in the same amount of time and i can’t- i just can’t…” Sans muttered as he slumped against the wall. His left hand was pressing against his eye, but Frisk could still see the glow from his magic. Some of it escaped from between his bone digits and trickled upwards, almost like watching a faucet drip in reverse.

Frisk didn’t care if he didn’t want their help, he was going to get. They helped him to the dirt floor. He complied, but mostly it was because he was already starting to slide down the wall. “... s’okay, kid-”, Sans started to slur out.

“No it isn’t!”, Frisk interrupted. “You aren’t okay right now, and that’s okay. You **get** to not feel well and when you do your family will be there to help you. That what family does!” The child ranted. Sans just drove them crazy sometimes! It was like he thought that he had to do everything by himself, that he couldn’t rely on the people around him, which was ridiculous! _*You know that’s our fault, right? We practically trained him not to rely on anyone because they wouldn’t remember…*_

 

_Now who’s being the mopy one._

 

And Frisk knew that the other was right, at least somewhat… but they **could** help undo what they had done. They had to try to help. They **had** to.

Frisk’s outburst seemed to have caught Sans by surprise, because he didn’t try to protest. Instead, he closed his eye-sockets and let his skull thump against the stone behind him.

And now Frisk was at a loss. They weren’t really sure how monster headaches worked, or how to make time-weirdness ones stop hurting. _*Nice. You got a whole speech ready for this but you don’t actually know how to help? Fail.*_

 

_I don’t see you helping!_

 

_*...*_

 

_See!_

 

_*... I dunno… just do what you think Papyrus or Mom would do…*_

 

Which wasn’t a bad idea…

Frisk settled down onto the ground in front of Sans and looked around for a good thing to make a joke about… there was the water… and the old switches with Mom’s notes written around them… but nothing really jumped out at them. They glanced back at Sans, his eyes were still closed, but he’d lowered his hands back to his lap. His phalanges clenched and unclenched. A smile stretched across their face as an idea formed. “Hey, Sans?”

“mhmm?”, Sans hummed back. He still didn’t open his eyes.

“I’m not trying to **back** out of helping you or anything, but I think this might be a **spine** -y situation~”, Frisk grinned.

Sans snorted and cracked his right eye-orbit. His eye-light might have been dim, but it was definitely there. “nice one, bucko. a real **rib** tickler.”

Frisk could feel their smile growing as they set up the next one, “Hey Uncle Sans, what do you call a skeleton snake?”

“what?”, Sans asked amusement evident in his voice.

“A rattler!”, Frisk exclaimed with glee. That one got a few chuckles out of the skeleton in front of them.

“i’m glad you got your mom’s funny **bone** . but you can’t let you repertoire stay so **marrow**.” Sans countered with ease.

Frisk laughed and Sans smiled at them. “I don’t think I can, these jokes run **bone** deep!”, they replied in between giggles.

Sans laughed out right. It filled Frisk’s soul with pride, it wasn’t very often that they could really make Sans laugh. “i’d be tellin’ a **fibula** if i said that wasn’t pretty **humerus**.”, the skeleton monster chuckled. Now both of his eye orbits were watching them, both eye-lights their normal off-blueish hue.

“I’d love to take credit for those, but they’re all Mom’s… she a **bone** -fide genius.” Frisk confessed, their smile felt enormous.

That got another bone rattling laugh from Sans and when he looked back at Frisk his eye-lights seemed bright and happy. “i second that. she sure knows how to **crack** me up.”

Sans smiled at them while they giggled, but once they’d caught their breath he went on, “alright, now before we get going… i think you ought ta’ tell me who were saving.”

Frisk’s smile fell. Eep! They had completely forgotten about figuring out a way to tell Sans about Flowey. “Um… how about we walk and talk?” Frisk evaded, while they scrambled to their feet.

“now hold up, kid. i think this might be a kinda important… especially, since you’ve evaded me every time i’ve asked.” Sans replied as he slowly climbed to his be-slippered feet. His bones creaked a bit. “so spill.”

Frisk fidgeted with the hem of their shirt. “... you’re not gonna like it.” They muttered to a very fascinating pebble.

“you’re probably right, so better tell me now rather than when we get there.” Sans commented easily. Frisk glance up at him. He still didn’t look really well, but his shoulders were squared and his hand were comfortably in his pockets. He wasn’t going to budge. Frisk could have sworn it felt like he was filled with Determination, but- monster can’t **have** Determination.

 

_*As much as I hate to say this… he’s right. Just get it over with.*_

 

Frisk grimaced, but knew the other was right. It was just… this was always the hard part… having to tell someone that they loved something that they weren’t going to want to here. _It’s like all of the times I had to tell Mom I had to leave…_

Sans hadn’t pressed them again, he hadn’t cleared his throat or made any other ‘get on with it’ cues. He just waited.

Sans was very good at being patient.

“... Flowey…”, they muttered under their breath, eyes transfixed by the ground.

Frisk waited for Sans to say something. They waited for him to get anger and tell them no, but he didn’t so much as move. Finally, Frisk managed to look up at their Uncle.

His eye-lights had gone completely out. His smile was anything, but friendly. Something unpleasant crawled across their back. “ **A b s o l u t e l y  n o t.** ”

 

They knew that they weren’t in the Capitol, no- they had been in the Ruins- n-not in the Castle. Everything was fine- this wasn’t- they weren’t- no- No- NO! They hadn’t hurt anyone- no!

 

Frisk took several stumbling steps away from Sans.

 

He wouldn’t attack them unless they approached- they could fix this- it would be okay-

 

Sans had taken one look at their face and flinched away from their retreating form. He turned away from them, hiding his empty eye-sockets from view as his bones rattled with stress. He took several deep breaths and scrubbed his hands over his face a couple of times.

Frisk made no attempt to move closer as their heart hammer in their chest. They curled their fingers into the material of their shirt, almost like they were trying to cover their soul.

After several long moments of tense silence, Sans spoke. “sor-ry,” his voice broke in the middle of the word. He tried to clear his throat a bit before turning back to them and continuing, “i- uh, didn’t mean ta’ scare you…”

His dimmed eye-lights flickered from their face to the floor. Frisk couldn’t look away from Sans, their eyes must have been wide as saucers as their ragged breathing filled the space. They couldn’t quite manage words yet so they didn’t respond.

After a beat of uncomfortable quiet, Sans went on, “but… the answer’s still gonna be no. come on let’s get out of here.” And he took a step towards them, hand out stretched.

Frisk took one away. “... nO.” Their voice cracked painfully.

For a second something pained and hurt flashed across Sans’ features, but then it was gone. He didn’t seem to have the energy for one of his normal smiles, though. His hand fell back to his side and he made no attempt to move any closer.

Suddenly, it registered in Frisk’s mind what that must have looked like, them backing away from Sans,  telling him ‘no’ in a frightened voice. They had to clarify. Frisk cleared their throat too and finished their thought, “No, I have to save Flowey.” Their voice felt stronger and in turn it made them feel stronger too. Now they were the ones who squared their shoulders and planted their feet. They had to do this. They had a **reason** . A **purpose**.

Sans grimaced. “kid, forget about the plant. he’ll be fine down here, he’s got water and dirt and sunlight from time to time, and heck there’s a bunch of ambient magic all over this place. the weed can take care of himself.”

Frisk shook their head while he spoke. “No, Sans. I have to help him… Look I know that he did terrible things-” Frisk started to say.

“no, i really don’t think you **do** …”, Sans interrupted darkly. He glowered at the floor.

Frisk continued like they hadn’t been cut off, “But, he’s changed. He isn’t the same monster that you knew. He was the one who broke the barrier, not me!”

That got Sans’ attention. His eye-light shot up and studied their face, but before he could voice a counter argument Frisk pressed on, “And when I told everybody goodbye, he told me to leave him here. He said that I should forget about him, so I left him be. I thought that he just need time to come to the surface on his own, but he hasn’t. He’s been down here by himself for almost a year! He’s been all alone and I think that all of the changing, the good changing, he’s been through might disappear if he’s left alone. Left without someone to help him keep changing and growing and learning to be good again. I have to help him.”

Sans snorted at Frisk words, “that bugger, was never good and i don’t care what he did, it doesn’t make up for- for **everything** else.” Sans had this far away look.

He didn’t seem to be looking at anything pleasant.

“Everyone can be a good person if they just try.”, Frisk said. They waited a beat for their words to get Sans’ attention. The sentence did not disappoint. Sans’ eye-lights immediately snapped back to their face, but he had his perma-grin fixed in place this time. It was as good as they were going to get, “And I want to help him try. I can’t give up on him… and I can’t give up on you. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I don’t think either of you can start to get better until you forgive each other.”

Sans just shook his head. “this isn’t something that you can just forgive and forget…”

“Was he worse than me?”, Frisk demanded.

Sans sent them a bewildered look, “kiddo, you didn’t do anything-”

“Yes, I did. Just because it wasn’t just me, doesn’t mean that I didn’t do it. So was whatever Flowey did, was it worse than what I did?”, they repeated doggedly. They even went so far as to take as step forward.

It was like Sans expression had become brittle. It didn’t change, but it suddenly looked very fake. It felt like watching an elaborate mask mutate into a cheap prop. “that’s a very relative question… you- what happened concerning your resets was- impersonal. and flowey… he made his- very **very** personal… so i don’t know… i couldn’t say which was worse...” Sans spoke in an even tone, it was clipped and clinical. As if he was trying to detach himself from the subject. “i just know that i can’t trust him.”

“You don’t have to, you just have to trust me.”, Frisk answered promptly. They didn’t really like the way Sans had begun talk, it felt very wrong- very un-Sans-ish. Even the anger and the scary voice still felt like Sans… whatever this was, it wasn’t good.

He searched their face. Frisk stared back.

Time seemed to slow as the two waited for the other break first.

.

.

.

The sound of Sans’ sigh was like the snapping of a finish line, they’d won. Frisk let out a huge breath of relief and Sans snorted at their excited prancing.

“i hope i don’t regret this…”, Sans muttered.

Frisk beamed at him and snatched up his hand, ready to drag him the last few rooms to their destination. Again he let himself be pulled along.

They hadn’t taken more than a few steps forward before Sans spoke again, “... hey, frisk?”

“Yep!”, they exclaimed popping the ‘p’.

“i, really, am sorry about scaring you. i shouldn’t have done that.”, Sans apologized, his voice somber.

“It’s okay, I forgive you.”, Frisk responded easily, trying to help lift Sans’ spirits on the last leg of their trip. Yes, it had frightened them… pretty badly actually, but they would be okay. They always were, besides right now they both just needed to stay **positive**.

Sans tightened his grip on their hand. “thanks, kiddo… but i- uh, really don’t think that it was **okay** . i should **never** have lost my temper that way-”

“But-”, they tried to interrupt. They didn’t want to talk about this not, right now. It was just so close to others _things_ … that they **really** did not want to think about. Ever.

“-it doesn’t matter what was happening or even if i had a reason. it was wrong and i’m sorry.” Sans said sincerely. “and i **promise** that i won’t let it happen again.”

Their words got caught in their throat. They had planned on pushing through, on not letting what had happened bother them, but then Sans had to go and say stuff like that. Frisk tightened their grip on his hand and swiped at the water filling their eyes. After another few moments they managed to hum, “m’kay…” without sniffling.

While Frisk recollected themself, Sans appeared to be continuing his on going study of the Ruins. Frisk had been able to make a couple of comments about the button puzzle that Toriel had done **for** them. It got a few laughs out of both of them, but as they walked down the steps leading to the actually cave portion of the Ruins, Sans stopped them. “okay, bucko. two things, first what’s your plan for getting the weed and second what on earth are we going to tell your mother?” He then sat down on the steps and patted a place next to himself, a clear invitation for them to join him and signalling that they weren’t continuing until they had a plan.

Frisk obliged with a huff as they settled onto the hard stone, contemplating how to answer Sans’ first question. “Weellll… for Flowey, I was, um… gonna wing it.” Frisk answered sheepishly and scratched their nose a bit.

Sans rolled his eye-lights and replied with a flat voice, “you’re really going out on a **limb** here aren’t ya’?”

Frisk smiled and shrugged off his skeptical look. “As for Mom… I have _no_ idea…”

Sans sighed into his palm, before rubbing tiredly at his eye-orbits. “so you’re plan is ‘i don’t know’ part one and two. stellar.”

“Nah, I think they’re both pretty down to **Earth**.”, Frisk snarked back.

Sans snorted. “you’ve been spending too much time with me, i’m a terrible role model.” But with another sigh Sans fell quiet.

Frisk could tell that he was thinking, more than likely trying to come up with a plan for both situations. And since they quite literally dragged him into… or at least through it, the least they could do was let him try to decide the best course of action… Even if they decided to... **not** follow his advice.

“i think…”, Sans said after awhile, “i’m gonna have to trust you to with the plant plan. i’ll probably hang back just so i don’t spook him ‘er something… but if he tries anything i’m pulling you through a shortcut, deal?”

Frisk nodded. They knew that Flowey wouldn’t try to hurt them, so it seemed perfectly reasonable to agree and their compliance seemed to make Sans feel a little more at ease.

“cool. as for tori…”, Sans started, but trailed off. “kid, i’m gonna be straight with you… i don’t think i can lie to your mom.”

They felt like the admission should have left them a little surprised, but it only left their mind spinning very dramatic scenes filled with pink bubbles and blushing admissions. This, however, was not the time or place for matching making so Frisk stored this new information for a later- **_hee_ ** , **date**. “Yeah… me neither.”, they agreed, while wrinkling their nose a bit.

They both fell into a contemplative silence. Frisk wasn’t really sure what they should do, because it wasn’t like they could just hide Flowey from Toriel… or Papyrus, when he got home. _*Well, whatever you do, you two had better decided now so you can get your stories straight. And the more truth the better, it’ll sound more believable that way.*_

 

Well now, there’s any idea…

 

Frisk grinned as the thought blossomed into their head. “Well if you can’t lie to her and I can’t lie to her… then why don’t we just **not** lie to her?”

 

_*You totally missed my point, didn’t you?*_

 

“so... what? you wanna a tell her that you managed to coerce me, the adult who was supposed to be watching you, into taking you down into the Underground via a shortcut, something that she knows nothing about, to collect a demon flower and then on top of all of that... surprise, the flower will now, also be staying at your house?”, Sans questioned, with words liberally coated in sarcasm.

“Yeah... sort of.”, Frisk responded with a bit of a head bob. “I figured we’d tell Mom that I wanted to go to the Underground and managed to convince you to take me to Mt. Ebott. We don’t have to say we went into the mountain. And when we here we found Flowey and he told us he didn’t have a place to stay so I invited him to live with us.”

Sans looked like he wanted to poke holes in their not-quite-a-lie version of events, but Frisk knew exactly how to distract him. “And Uncle Sans… Mom knows more about your ‘shortcuts’ than you realize.”

His eye-sockets went wide, but before he had a chance to ask them what they had meant, Frisk jumped to their feet. Sitting on the stairs was starting to hurt their butt anyway. Frisk made it two galloping steps away from the Ruins and into the cave, before they heard Sans scrabble off the carved steps. “wait. kid! what the he-ck is that supposed to mean?”

Frisk just giggled and rushed around the corner Sans right on their tail.

 

* * *

 

The natural cave system was much darker than Frisk remembered and soon they had to stop and get out their flash light again. This gave Sans more than enough time to catch up. Thankfully, he didn’t try to press them about their sly comment, he knew a distraction when he heard it. He did grumble something under his breath that sound like ‘brat’ when his shuffling steps halted nearby.

Frisk sent him a mischievous smile in the nearly pitch black cave, but soon their small flashlight illuminated the uneven space. And they set off again, just moments away from their friend. It made their stomach flip. They had been thinking about this for weeks, what they would say, how they would try to prove to Flowey that he was changing. They had told Sans that they didn’t have a plan because it was true, but that didn’t mean that they hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about it.

When they rounded a second corner Frisk noticed something bright up ahead. It was the crack in the cave, just above where they had met Flowey for the first time. It was still the same small patch of barely alive moss, but now moonlight streamed in from the natural opening instead of sunlight. This was it. Just one more archway… one more turn and they’d reach the golden flower bed. They’d return to the starting place of their adventure, for the last time.

 

_*...You hope…*_

 

_I know._

 

They took a deep breath and switched off their flashlight. They didn’t want Flowey to run and hide at the sight of someone approaching. “kid?”, Sans’ deep voice echo softly in the darkness.

Frisk turned to look back at their guardian… and if it hadn’t been for his eye-lights Frisk wouldn’t have seen him.

At some point during their walk, he had lifted his hood. It cast his face into deep shadows that were only amplified by the surrounding darkness and it effectively hid his reflective skull from view. Then with is skeletal finger buried in his pockets and the dark color of shirt and jeans, it was like he was invisible.

He took another step towards them and re-solidified into view, the moonlight dimly bouncing off of his clothes and face. The movement itself also helped Frisk discern his shape. Sans could be downright silent when he wanted to, they hadn’t even heard his scraping footfalls. They thought that the look ought to scare them, but this was the first time they had seen him do anything like this. It was mostly just really cool. “Woah~”, Frisk whispered back.

Frisk could make out the movement of his brow ridge, clearly questioning. “You, just like, appeared out of the darkness.”, Frisk answered his unasked question.

Sans snorted. “like, what? a vampire?” Sans shook his head a little at Frisk’s impressed face. “you couldn’t seem me very well ‘cause you screwed up your night vision with the flashlight. your eye just gotta adjust, that’s all.”

“It’s still really cool.”, Frisk stated as they rocked back on their heels. Then as an afterthought they asked, “Hey, you don’t need the flashlight, do you?”

Frisk watched with mild fascination as his eye-lights did their roll seemingly in mid-air without any eyes behind them. “you and i both know, i’ve got better night vision than you do.”

Frisk only shrugged. Then they carefully wandered around the small cave, trying to let their eyes adjust. It didn’t take too long, before they decided that it was good enough to get through the last bit of darkened cave. They turned back to Sans who had taken up a spot along the wall, leaning against it while he waited for Frisk. They could see him a little better now and his outline only got clearer as they approached.

“so... this is it?” Sans asked when they paused in front of him.

They nodded.

“no more talking, then?” Sans questioned.

Frisk nodded.

“then lead the way.” Sans followed up his words with a sweeping gesture towards the next handcrafted arch.  When they passed by he put his hand down on their shoulder and kept pace with them.

 

* * *

 

Their footsteps echoed softly… but only thiers, Sans didn’t make a sound. At least, not one that Frisk could hear.

They rounded the corner and the cavern before them was filled with moonlight and flowers. Dozens and dozens of golden flowers. They seemed to have flourished over the last year, nearly filling the space.

It reminded Frisk of Asgore’s throne room. Every time they had entered that place, they had always been amazed by the sight of that many flowers, despite the danger and their fear, the beauty always took their breath away.

But this wasn’t Asgore’s throne room. It was far more important than that.

A large flower stood tall in the center of the flower patch. It’s petals open wide with it’s face turned up toward the hole in the ceiling and the stars beyond. He hadn’t notice the two beings approach.

As Frisk got closer to the mouth of this grotto, Sans let go of their shoulder.

 

_This was it._

 

_Now, or never._

 

_No going back._

 

_*Oh for crying out loud, just do it!*_

 

Frisk stepped into the opened space and the center flower turned towards them.

His face looked nasty and mean. Eyes inky and black, mouth twisted into a creepy smile. And he had been crying. Frisk could see the little green drops of magic rolling down his face. It broke their heart.

Then Flowey recognized his unwanted guest and stopped trying to scare them. “What do you want?”, Flowey snapped viciously. “No~ Lemme guess, you got tired of you perfect little life on the surface and want to reset again. So now you back here as some kind of sick joke, where I get to tell you I told you so! Nothing’s ever good enough for you is it, Frisk! Well, **_I told you so_ **! Are you happy now! Is that what you wanted to hear!?”

While Flowey ranted without preamble, Frisk kept their face neutral despite the anguish consuming them. They should have done this a very long time ago. Frisk didn’t bother responding, Flowey didn’t want to talk, he just wanted someone to yell at so he would be the only one who was hurt. Instead, they got fairly close to Flowey before plopping their backpack down.

“What are you doing, Frisk?”, the flower continued to snarl as he completely turned towards them.

Frisk ignored him and unzipped their bag. They could feel two sets of eyes on them, one hostile, the other… watchful. They pushed the towel aside and removed the clay pot. Then they unzipped their side pouch and removed a small child trowel. Asgore had given it to them for their tenth birthday.  Frisk began wandering around the small space collecting small rocks and pebbles to line the bottom of the pot with, just like the old king had taught them.

Flowey continued to throw insults and Sans continued to watch.

Soon they had collected enough stones and after arranging them in the bottom of the pot, they knelt down and began to fill the pot with dirt from the surrounding flower bed.

By the time they had finished filling the pot, Flowey had wound down. His eyes looked no less cruel, but he wasn’t trying to yell anymore so it was a start. Frisk stood up and dusted off their knees. Then they hoisted the pot up off the ground and finally presented the decorated side to Flowey.

It had taken them quite a while trying to decide what they should put on the pot Asgore had given them. But here was the finished project, with little hearts they’d turned upside down and snails and dogs and rainbows. And with the most durable and water resistant stick on letters they could find they had spelt the word “FLOWEY” across the middle of the sticker collage.

The plant sneered at it. “And what it that piece of **trash** for?”

Frisk crossed their legs and sat down a few feet from the flower. “It’s for you.”, Frisk said at last.

Flowey just rolled his eyes, “I can **see** that, stupid! And just what do you think I’m going to do with it?”

“Well… I think that you’re going to get into it so I can take you home.”, Frisk stated matter-o-factly.

“Home!”, Flowey spluttered at the word. “I don’t **have** a home, you idiot! And I don’t want your pity one either! Because that’s all it is, you know that don’t you? Toriel only took you in because she pity’s your sad excuse for a soul. She doesn’t **really** love you.”

Frisk let the insults and accusations roll of them like blue attacks. All they had to do was sit still and wait them out.

“Or! I bet you knew that already and this is your revenge. You’ll just bring the killer plant into her home so I can steal her soul, right?! Just use me for all your dirty work so that smiley trashbag won’t come after you.”, Flowey continued to rant. “Noooo~ It’s even worse than that isn’t it. You want me to **_kill everyone_ ** , don’t you!” His face contorted back into its nightmare form.

“You want me to help you pick off your ‘family’ one by one. Who do you want to start with? The ugly fish warrior? That useless scientist? The trashy rustbucket? You’d want to save dear old ‘mom’ for last of course, let her keep defending you while you pretend to be ‘oh so innocent’. I bet we could tag team her and that idiot Papyrus and then the worthless comedian couldn’t touch us! **_HEE HEE HA HA!_ ** ” Flowey laughed viciously.

This would have scared Frisk, years ago, but not now. Flowey wasn’t scare anymore… he was just lonely and afraid. But Frisk also knew that that didn’t mean he could just act however he wanted. Being mean because you want everyone else to be just as mean as you wasn’t nice. But before Frisk could a word in, Flowey went on. “And then when everyone else is dead we’d kill those two bleeding souls right in front of that spineless skeleton.”

All of the hairs on Frisk’s arms stood on end. The room had gotten significantly colder, but Flowey hadn’t seemed to notice. Frisk tried to glance around without Flowey catching them, but they couldn’t find Sans. _Maybe he won’t try to interfere?_

 

_*He’s probably dealt with this for a lot longer than you have…*_

 

Frisk could only agree.

But whatever the case, they needed to redirect Flowey. Not just for Sans’ sake, but for the sake of this conversation. Frisk had to convince Flowey that he needed to come home with them and talking about all of the ways it could go wrong was not the right way to go about it. “That’s not going to happen, Flowey. You-”

“Oh, but _isn’t_ it! The second that- that **murder** sees me he’ll kill me! He **_hates_ ** me and nothing is **ever** going to change that!”, Flowey interrupted. 

“Uncle Sans won’t do that.”, Frisk denied. “And I know that something bad happened between the two of you, but I think that you both could move past it if you just tried.” Frisk went on, trying to sound as compelling as possible, even if they starting to feel more and more unsure about that.

Flowey laughed in their face. “ _‘Uncle’_ ! Ha! What a joke, Frisk!”, the monster sneered. “That good-for-nothing is a **killer** plan and simple! The only thing that matters to him is the timeline and right now you’re tied to it. So don’t confuse his attention for **_love_ ** , he has to keep you happy so you won’t reset. You don’t know anything about him and you don’t know anything about me!”

Something in Frisk’s soul twanged. Flowey had accidently found their weakness and he hit **hard**.

Their creeping doubt bubbled to the surface and started tainting their thoughts. And Flowey could see it. “What? Don’t tell me the ‘ _Hero of the Underground_ ’ is gonna cry! You’re so pathetic, Frisk! I can’t believe that you thought he **_loved_ ** you, that you thought he really **_cared_ ** about you. **In this world it’s Kill or Be killed**! And the lying coward is an expert at both!” The plant bellowed maliciously. His words dug into their mind like burrowing vines.

 

_What if he’s right… what if Sans is only trying to keep me happy? ...Is that the only reason he agreed to come with me… because he thought I’d just reset if he didn’t? ...Is that why he told me about his memories coming back, because I kept asking? ...Did he only promise me that because it would make me feel better? ...What if-_

 

_*STOP! Look I really hate that I have to be the one to say this, but… Do you really think Sans is that kind of a monster? Sans, the same guy who didn’t attack us even though we killed his brother, because he wanted to keep Mom’s promise. Sans, the monster who walks you home from school twice a week even though you don’t even live together anymore. Sans, the stupid skeleton who greets people with a freaking whoopee cushion. Don’t be dumb, Frisk. You can feel how much he cares about you everytime you feel his magic… And magic doesn’t lie, nobody’s that good.*_

 

Frisk felt a little nauseous. Two conflicting emotions filled thier soul: trust and doubt, love and rejection, comfort and fear. They wanted it to stop! They wanted to know the **truth** ! They wanted to go _home_ ! T-they wanted their **_Mom_ **! They wanted to feel safe and loved and-

Peripherally, Frisk could feel themself starting to hyperventilate; it was just too much all at once!

 

Flowey screamed.

 

Frisk’s head snapped up and turned as they followed the panicking plant’s line of sight. It was Sans. He’d stepped out of the darkness and was walking towards them, pulling down his hood as he went.

His eyes were locked on Frisk, as he completely disregarded the sputtering flower behind them. The worry and concern were so plain on his face that even from this distance, they could see it. They lept to their feet and Sans stopped.

They stared at each other, nobody spoke, even Flowey had stopped his rambling screech.

“kiddo?”

The compulsion to run away was tied with their desire to rush forward and seek comfort from him, the dissonance glued them in place.

Their breathing sped up.

Sans kept his hands out of his pockets, like he was trying to keep them visible and non-threatening. “frisk. i think you need to try and calm down a little… hold your breath for a bit then breathe, and keep doing that.”

Frisk couldn’t speak. They couldn’t move. They couldn’t scream. But they could breathe… they tried to slow their breathing.

Sans seemed to relax a little, but he didn’t try to move any closer. “uh, good. keep doing that… so you don’t, ya’ know… do that think we’re you breathe so fast you faint, ‘er somethin’...”

Frisk didn’t respond, they couldn’t get their voice to work. But that didn’t seem to be stopping Flowey. “H-how long have **_you_ ** been here!?”

Sans didn’t even look over at the flower, his concern and focus was still centered around them. “kid… once you got your breathing all situated maybe you should sit down.”

“Don’t just ignore me!”, Flowey seethed.

He didn’t look over.

But before Flowey could speak again Frisk’s words came out a wheezing gasp, “wHy?”

“why what?”, Sans asked in confusion.

“Why are you doing _this_ ?! A-any of it! W-why are you always **_so_ ** nice to me? Why do you h-help me a-a-and p-play games with me- aNd l-listen about my day? What are you **_getting_ ** o-out of it!?” Frisk questioned without control. They hadn’t meant to ask all of those things, they hadn’t meant for their voice to sound so accusatory, but now they couldn’t take it back.

And **oh** , how they wished they could.

That pained expression from before was back, but it persisted for longer this time. The disbelief, the anguish, and the worst of all was the resignation that painted Sans’ features. And then almost like it was a physical action he pulled his smile back on, he pulled it over the hurt and hid his pain from view. “...uh-” Sans began before he made a throat clearing sound. “i-i figured it was pretty clear, but, um… i like spending time with you, kiddo. i care about you… ya’ know, monsters can get attached pretty easily… and you’re just such a likeable kid…”

Frisk thought the bottom of their stomach was going to fall out. It churned and churned like it was full of really angry butterflies. They wanted to tell Sans that they knew that, that they had always know that. That they didn’t **mean** any of it, but when they spoke it wasn’t any of those things, “D-did you **care** about me even when…”

They couldn’t even finish the question and yet Sans knew what they had asked. His eye-lights were so dim now… it was tearing at their soul, but they had to know. These things had been eating away at them for **so** long, that now they **had** to know the truth.

“... yeah. yeah, kid… i was still rootin’ for ya’. i still thought that you could change… that you could go back… guess i’m more like pap than i thought.”, His voice was calm and Sans even managed to make his last comment sound like a joke. But he looked so **tired**.

No one spoke for a long time.

Sans sighed and then stuffed his hands into his pockets. It was like he was giving up.

“...look, i get it, i really do. i’ve done horrible things, to you-”, and after a moment’s hesitation, “and to flowey. i won’t defend myself or my actions… what I did was wrong, and now we’ve got to live with it… but i can’t apologize… or promise you i won’t do it again because- because even with what everything that i know now... i’d still make the same choices… and one day i might have to. so if you can’t trust me, i understand… i’ll take you home and you won’t have to deal with me anymore, but… but i’ll still believe in you.”

It was like the weight in their soul had melted away. Nothing was keeping them grounded, nothing but their own indecision. Would Sans even want them still? After everything they said? After finding out that they had still doubted him after all this time? Was this his way of letting them go for good? _*Oh, will you just stop overthinking everything and hug the damn skeleton.*_

Frisk didn’t need to be told twice.

It wasn’t unusual for Frisk to fling themself haphazardly at their loved ones for a hug, in fact it was pretty standard for them. But it was very rare for them to shuffle over to a family member with tears rolling down their face and ask to be picked up.

It was the fastest Frisk had every seen Sans move. He’d been in such a rush to grab the weeping child his phalanges had gotten caught on his pocket while he pulled them free.

And when he’d tugged them into his grasp, they bawled harder. He was safe and soft and **there**. Even after everything, he was still there for them. Frisk curled against his ribcage as best they could, they didn’t want anyone to see them, the brave little kid who saved the Underground, reduced to a mess of ugly sobs.

Sans didn’t say anything. He just held them as tight as he could, it was like he was afraid of dropping them despite the barest change in height. But his soul _glowed_.

They could barely see the frosty wisps of magic curling around his ribs, despite the darkness and their proximity. But Frisk could **feel** them. Each one a whisper of comfort and solace, like a balm for their shattered heart. They were his words, his soothing hums and his understanding. They were his forgiveness.

“I-i-i’m sor-rry- I-i’m s-s-so sorry- I-I-”, they were cut off by another gasping sob.

“i know… i know. it’s gonna be okay now.”, Sans whispered as he pressed his teeth to the top of their head. The gesture was so similar to what Toriel did when she conforted them after a bad dream, it made them hiccup louder.

“N-n-no! I-it’s not!”, Frisk wailed into his ribcage.

“hey, hey, kiddo. look at me for a sec.”, Sans pacified as he tried to shift them so he could see their face.

Frisk hiccuped and whimpered as they pulled their heavy head and stuffed face away from Sans. His eye-lights were bright and full of magic. For the first time in Frisk’s memory, they truly looked blue. “it **will** be okay… okay?”, Sans said a smile tugging at his features, trying to obscure the blatant relief etched across his face.

Frisk just shook their head as more tears obscured their vision. Sans shifted his grip on them and used his newly freed hand to wipe away the tear tracks on their face with his sleeve. “I-I-I…”, Frisk tried to say but they could get their words out through their trembling lips and fast breaths.

“take it easy, for a minute.” Sans instructed while he continued to mop at their face. It felt like a pointless gesture to Frisk, since they just kept crying, but they tried to do what they were told. The huffed and sniffled and tried to stop their hiccuping breaths from being quite so fast. “yeah, just like that, bucko.”, Sans encouraged gently.

“I-I hurt y-you… and I did-dn’t tr-rust you a-and i’m s-sorry.”, They finally managed to say.

Sans pressed his teeth to their forehead. “frisk... it’s okay. really.” The kiss felt as really and as meaningful as any Toriel had given them.

Frisk shook their head again, this time with more vehemence. “I-it isn’t! I-i should’-ve trusted y-you… I shouldn’t have t-thought something s-so m-mean.” They moved to bury their head against Sans again, trying to hide their tears and their shame.

But Sans shifted them again in an attempt to stop them. “you had every right to doubt me. i mean that, frisk. i hurt you and made you feel afraid, those aren’t things that are easy to get over. and to make everything worse, i’m not the easiest face to read, so when i don’t say things… when i don’t make sure stuff is clear, it’s really hard ta’ know what i’m thinking. you shouldn’t feel bad about any of that. your such a good kid and i put you in a really bad place… i’m the one who should be apologizing.”

Frisk shot forward, almost cracking their head against Sans' as they pulled him into the tightest hug they could manage. “I-i love y-you so much, U-uncle Sans…”, Frisk whispered into this hoodie.

“i... i love you, too kid.” Sans whispered back after a beat.

They stayed like that for several more minutes as Frisk’s tears slowed to a stop and their breathing finally returned to normal. They felt very tired… they wanted to go home and go to bed. “hey, you’re not fallin’ asleep on my are ya’? you know that’s my job.”, Sans stated with a soft laugh. It made his chest vibrate.

“Well, I’m just **so** ** _glad_** you two made up.” Flowey snapped at last, “But your pathetic whining is annoying so why don’t you just **go** ** _away_**.”

His words seem to shoot through them, galvanizing them into action. Frisk couldn’t sleep yet, they hadn’t finished what they’d come down here for. There was one more soul left in the Underground that needed to be saved.

 

*Your unfinished business fills you with Determination.*

 

They wiggled out of Sans’ grasp and stretched their feet the short distance to the ground. Frisk used the back of their hand to scrub the last few tear tracks from their face and spun around to face Flowey.

He flinched at their sudden movement, but his eyes grew alarmed as they stalked towards the large flower. “W-What are you doing?”

Frisk sunk to the ground across from the plant, legs criss-crossed and arms folded tightly across their annoying dog shirt. Their face set, despite being a little puffy and red. “I’m taking you home.”, Frisk voice rang out crystal clear and very serious. They ignored the little bit of a tickle in their throat from all of yelling they had down.

“Are you kidding me!”, Flowey demanded. “Just because you fell for that- that **liars** act doesn’t mean I did, how stupid do I look!?”

Frisk just stared at Flowey. He tried to stare back, but he wouldn’t hold their gaze. “I-I don’t care what you say! I don’t- **won’t** trust that murder!” Flowey went on.

This was the real sticking point Frisk realized. Flowey didn’t trust Sans… but it was more than that. He was afraid of Sans, yes… but still, there was something else… something under the hate and the fear… Frisk still didn’t say anything, but they did glance back at Sans.

He had retreated back to the edge of the cavern again, but this time with his hood down it was easier to find him. Sans was just leaning against the craggy stone, waiting. He made eye contact with them and shrugged. Well, that wasn’t helpful. “Saanns…”, they muttered meaningfully.

“whaddya want me to say, kid? The flower hates my nonexistent guts… and to be quite honest the feeling is mutual, so nothing i could say is gonna help.” Sans called causally back.

Frisk only quirked a disbelieving brow at him. They’d seen Toriel do the same thing to get Sans to do what she wanted, they hoped it would work for them too. And lo and behold with a huff the skeleton pushed himself off the wall and shuffled closer. _Mom really knows what she’s doing…_

 

_*Nah, Sans is just really whipped.*_

 

Frisk tried not to snort at the other’s words, it was just like the other to find humor at times like this. Sans stopped at the edge of the flower bed, clearly not wishing to go any further. That was fine by Frisk, as long as he helped.

“ _Well?_ ”, Flowey growled at Frisk, he didn’t look at Sans… in fact he looked like he was trying to avoid acknowledging Sans at all.

Frisk looked back at Sans. He huffed and scowled at the ground a bit and then at Flowey before he turned back to Frisk and said, “look, i promise that i won’t kill the flower-”.

Frisk started to grin, until Sans finished his thought, “… **without** cause.”

Now Frisk scowled, still deciding that it was best to not talk, they directed their mild annoyance at the source.

Sans shrugged before saying, “i’m sorry, kid. that’s the best i can do under the circumstances… it’s the same promise i made ta’ myself years ago and i haven’t broken it yet.” Something dark tinged Sans’ words, that left the room feeling cold again.

Frisk looked back at Flowey. He had a sour expression, but he wasn’t trying to contest Sans’ words. _*If he thought Sans was lying, he’d have no problem voicing it. He knows nothing bad will happen with you here… I think he’s just mad because Sans is telling the truth.*_

It seemed like a fair conclusion, but before Frisk could speak Flowey finally snapped. His head whipped in Sans’ direction and he all but hissed, “ ** _Well_** , I guess that ** _depends_** on what you mean by **cause** ** _, doesn’t it?_** ”

“killing.”, Sans said flatly. He didn’t so much as blink at Flowey’s sudden attention.

The flower sneered, “You’d know **all** about that, wouldn’t you?” Sans didn’t flinch, he just stared hollowly at the plant in front of him. It was like that was all he saw… just plants, nothing sapient among them. Flowey suddenly changed tacks, his voice shifted to it’s sickly sweet one, “Well, golly! I think you really ought to tell our dear Frisk about **_all_** of your first hand experience with death, don’t you **_Uncle Sans_**?. Hey, why don’t you start with the first time you **MURDERED** me!”

Sans snorted at Flowey’s act, but even that sounded hollow to Frisk’s ears. It was like all of the parts of Sans that made him Sans were draining away. Frisk could see their own breath in the sudden chill that swept through the windless space. “you first, petals. i mean, there’s so much more to that story than just my part, i think you really ought to give them the **background**. ya’ know, **explain** ** _all_** about how we got to that point… because you’d know all about that... **W o u l d n ‘ t  y o u?** ” Sans spat back Flowey’s words. And now Sans’ hollow-eyed stare bore down upon the flower.

He caved under the weight of that stare, petals drooping away from his face, stem wilting as the plant literally crumpled under Sans’ unforgiving glare. It was like the air was being sucked out of the room as Flowey buckled before them. Frisk wanted to tell Sans to stop, to tell him that Flowey didn’t know any better, but they could only shiver in the oppressive silence.

Then like a spell had been broken, the room snapped back into reality. The air was cool and damp and just a little stuffy. The moonlight filled the space and Frisk could hear their own breathing again. Flowey was slowly dragging himself back up to his full height, but his petals were still pulled back and he wouldn’t make eye contact with Frisk. Sans was walking away his hand stuffed in his pockets and he’s not so hollow sounding voice called over his shoulder to them, “i think you better take it from here, ambassador… i’ve never really been good at this sort of thing. just give a hoot when you’re ready to bounce.”

Frisk watched as he reclaimed his spot along the wall, this time he fished out his phone and started playing with. The LCD screen cast unfortunate blue shadows across his face, throwing the bone into sharp angles- That Frisk did not want to think about.

When they turned back to speak with Flowey the plant had turned away from them. “I’m done with this. All of it. I’m not going back with you Frisk, so just _go away_.” The plant griped. But he didn’t put much feeling into it, so Frisk did what they did best. They stayed Determined… for both of them.

They could out stubborn anyone and they weren’t going to break that streak now. “Yes, you are. You think that you have to stay down here by yourself. That you don’t deserve to live on the Surface with everyone else, but I know you’re wrong and I’m gonna prove it to you. I don’t care how long it takes.” Frisk stated to the petulant flower in front of them.

“Just go away, Frisk.” whined the tired sounding plant.

Frisk just settled more comfortably in the flower bed and dragged their backpack over to them. This was something they had planned for. They fished out their notebook and some colored pencils. Flowey studiously ignored them. Sans stayed quite. Frisk began to draw.

It went on like this for several long minute of silence that was only broken by Frisk’s movements. Soon they had finished their drawing and held it out to Flowey. He immediately reoriented himself back the way he had been pretending to face in. “So this is my room.” Frisk began and the went on to describe their bed and all the different sheets that they owned. Then they talked about their closet and their dresser and how Toriel couldn’t help herself and bought Frisk so many clothes that both pieces of furniture were crammed to bursting. They described their little desk near the window and how it would be the perfect place for Flowey to sit, so he could watch all of the people go by.

Flowey pretended to ignore them. Frisk drew another picture and told the plant all about that one and so on and so forth.

 

* * *

 

Six drawings later Flowey snapped. “You can’t stay here forever! Just give up, already!”

“Yes I can and no.” Frisk brushed away his anger with ease.

“You- you- Toriel won’t let you! She find out that you’re gone and then you’ll have to go, he’ll make you!” Flowey shouted in frustration as he gestured towards the immobile skeleton behind them.

“nah, we’ve got time. ‘sides i’ve got my phone so if anyone needs to reach me or the kid, they can just call.” Sans backed Frisk’s claim.

Flowey looked like he wanted to scream. So Frisk switched activities they packed up their notebook and colored pencils and took out their ball. They left the torn out pages scattered around the plant.

Frisk rolled the ball at Flowey, the plant smacked it away from himself. “Ugh! Stop being stupid, Frisk! This isn’t going to work.”

Frisk just rolled the ball back. Flowey shoved it away. “Go away, Frisk!”

Frisk rolled the ball. He rolled it back. Never away. He always rolled it a back to them. Sometimes really hard and others barely hard enough to move it.

“Leave me alone, Frisk!”

.

.

.

“Reset already, Frisk.”

.

.

.

“Go away, Frisk.”

.

.

.

“...let me die, Frisk.”

.

.

.

“... forget about me, Frisk.”

.

.

.

“... why are you doing this?”, Flowey muttered as his drooping stem pressed his face against the ball in front of him.

“I want to help you, because I care about you. Because I love you. And I want you to be the best you you can be. ” Frisk explained softly.

Flowey didn’t say anything for a very long time, he didn’t push the ball back either…

“... if I go with you… will you leave me alone long enough for me to actually get some sleep.”, Flowey finally whined.

Frisk grinned at the defeated looking plant. They rocked forward onto their knees and made to scoop up Flowey, but he pulled away from them.

“Stop! Your hands are cold! Just let me do it! You can’t do anything right can you?” Flowey hissed as he extracted his own roots from the soil. Then with a little help from Frisk he climbed into the pot.

Frisk rooted around in their backpack and pulled out a water bottle. They turned and emptied the entire thing over Flowey’s head.

Sans’ cackled as the flower spluttered. “What was that for!?”  The dripping plant shrieked.

“You have to water a plant right after you move it from one place to another, to help it’s roots dig back it to the soil.”, Frisk said in confusion.

“Well did you have to dump it on my head!”, Flowey continued to hiss as he shook the water from his petals.

Frisk blinked. They were just doing what Asgore had taught them, it hadn’t even occurred to them not to dump it onto his head. “Oh…”, Frisk said after a long pause.

Flowey sent them a nasty look and closed up his petals with a parting hiss. But Sans had come to join them in the little patch of moonlight, he clapped them on the back with a laugh. “ignore ‘em. i think your watering technique is perfect, i wouldn’t change it.”

Frisk just kinda shrugged and went to pack up their bag once more, this time without the pot. They wanted to carry Flowey out of the Underground. The other had asked them to do it.

Once their bag was all zipped up, Sans help them put it back on, “come on… grab your psycho- **plant,** we gotta get your teeth brushed and you into pjs before papyrus gets home in-” Sans said as he fished his phone back out, “-ten minutes…”   

Sans stared at Frisk, they stared back. They did **not** have very much time left. Frisk scooped up Flowey and turned back to Sans. His hand was outstretched waiting for them to take, while his other sent a quick text to someone. As Frisk closed their hand around his they could help, but say “I guess you could say… we cut this one pretty close to the **stem** ~”

 

The duo’s snorting laughter continued to echo around the cavern, well after they had vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this one is the longest chapter so far! ... it's 41 pages... And I should have another chapter posted on Halloween.
> 
> I have lost control of my life...
> 
> PS: Some of this was inspired by these two comics  
> http://creepyknees.tumblr.com/post/131157670829/i-dunno-if-this-would-count-as-an-au-or-not-but  
> http://jellyenvy.tumblr.com/post/131850906929/what-are-you-doing-do-you-really-think-ive


	4. - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is on a Monday. The world still turns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you guys can see, this is Part 1 of Halloween. I should have Part 2 posted next weekend. Sorry about spiting them up, but a lot happens on Halloween and there are only so many hours in a day.

Toriel’s smile was enormous. 

Her darling pupils had dragged their desks into groups and, with her permission, had set up craft stations at the small desk clusters. Each child, all monsters except for Frisk, was dressed in a very elaborate costume. There was a firefighter, a police officer,  two vampires, a zombie lawyer, a veterinary CEO, a pirate princess, an astronaut (who was currently laughing at the sound effect the... jedi padawan? was making), and even a very excited slice of pizza eating… a slice of pizza, among many others. Toriel couldn’t help, but laugh as she watched all of the very enthusiastic children claim that they ‘couldn’t wait for school to be over’, something they had been saying for the last hour without noticing. 

Her eyes moved from one group to the next, until the sounds of impressed chatter caught her attention. Her child had decided to show off their ‘super amazing’ custom-made wand. As an official warlock of Gryffindor house they, of course, had to have a wand. Toriel smiled to herself as she went back to her work, the memory of her child making their wand flashed into her mind. 

Toriel really hadn’t been sure why it had been so surprising, but having Alphys be the one to come barreling into her living room  **first** , had shocked her. The smaller lizard-monster was practically jumping up and down as she proceeded to quiz Frisk about what they had thought of  _ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets _ . Undyne had shuffled in a moment later with a duffle bag and the most delighted look Toriel had ever seen on the former Captain of the Royal Guard’s face. 

Apparently, Alphys and Undyne had recently discovered the book series as well and were both excited to share their new found love with everyone who would listen. The duo had been so delighted to hear that Frisk had decided to not only join their ‘fandom’ but also to ‘cosplay’ for Halloween this year. The three of them then sat around her kitchen table and unload all of their wand crafting supplies. 

It had been quite remarkable, the number of creative ways Alphys had come up with to make a prop wand from scratch. She had even gone to the trouble to label all of her supplies with authentic wizarding world names. The small dowels they used as the base for their wands had been called ‘heartwood’ and Alphys had come up with faux-magical properties for each type of wood. Red twine had been pre-cut and place in a container labeled ‘Dragon Heartstring’. Something similar had been done to iridescent yarn, and it was to be ‘Unicorn Hair’. The list went on and on, it had amazed Toriel to see the stunning amount of effort and detail that had gone into each and every item they had brought over for Frisk’s first ‘wand crafting’ session. 

As Frisk sat there deeply engrossed in debate with their to favorite Aunts about whether Harry should have been placed into Slytherin house or not, it occurred to Toriel that Undyne and Alphys made quite the set of parents. Both brought such different outlooks and skillsets to the table, and yet they managed to blend together so remarkable well. Undyne’s brash attitude, Alphys’ thoughtful demeanor. Undyne’s kindness, Alphys’ perseverance. Both of their nearly endless enthusiasm for their ‘fandoms’, for Frisk, for monsterkind… for each other. 

The nostalgia for times long ago did not hurt the way they used too… but it still reminded her of how it felt to have a life companion. True, she was whole now and did not need another to feel complete or of value, that had taken a very long time to learn, but the memory of such a connection was something her soul still yearned for. It made her incredibly glad to know that other monsters could experience it for her. That here on the surface, they could learn and live and grow with one another, that they could share their soul with another and know the world would not try to dislodge them at any moment. It was all she could ever ask for. 

And yet she had received so much  **more** . 

Her eyes tracked up from the papers she had  **not** continued grading, to her beloved child’s face, to the other wonders of life and magic that spoke excitedly of adventures yet to come, then her gaze flicked to the clock.  _ 2:00 _ .  _ My Goodness! Is it that late already? _ She must have been so caught up in her thoughts that she’d lost track of the time. Well, no matter, she could put the desks back herself after the bell dismissed her class. 

Toriel climbed to her feet and re-adjusted the bandages on her arms, then she straightened her bandaged shirt. Being a  **mum-** y for Halloween had been one of her best ideas to date. It had made Sans laugh for almost an hour, and he had continued to snicker about it on and off again for the rest of the evening, well after she had informed him about her ‘master plan’. She couldn’t help the smile that pulled at her lips, but she didn’t mind. She had a lot to smile about these days. 

“Class~”, Toriel called above the din. Her pupils settled down almost immediately, all eyes and other sensory receptors turned towards her, she had their complete attention. It filled her soul with warmth and elation every time she stood in front of her class, it was like watching her dreams come to life. “It is almost time to go-” She began and like she expected her class began to check the clock and chatter began to erupt once more. “But!”, she called over the noise and the sounds of zippers being tugged. 

Again the room fell silent. 

“I have a few announcements to make before we leave. First, when I am done if you would put the craft supplies away before you leave that would be lovely. You do not need to worry about the desks, I shall return the room to it’s proper order. Second, given that today is… such an important event… your homework will not be due until the day after-” The rest of her words had been lost in a sea of cheers and whoops and “Thank you, Mrs. Idamen”’s. After a few moments of this elated chatter, Toriel again calmed the class. “Now, now! I’m not quite finished yet~ As I had been saying, your homework will not be due until the day after tomorrow, but in exchange I expect all of you to be here tomorrow. Bright-eyed and well rested, without backpacks stuffed full of candy. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, Mrs. Idamen!”, cheered the class, but Toriel could have sworn she had heard an “Aww, but Moommm~” underneath the other voices. Before she could make eye contact with her child, the bell rang dismissing her class with an explosion of noise and movement. 

“Do not forget to put your things away! And remember to stay  **wrapped up** tonight, for it will be quite a  **chilling** Halloween!”, Toriel exclaimed with a bit of a laugh. The children who heard her looked as if they weren’t sure whether her joke was funny enough to laugh at or not. 

 

Toriel just grinned. 

 

* * *

Sans flopped backwards. 

He landed on his unmade bed with a satisfying thunk. It had been a long day. 

He’d been working as a temp for nearly six months, but this had to be the worst desk job yet. And he was just filing. 

That’s it. 

Seriously. 

He just clocked in, re-organized a section of the room, today had been the G’s through K’s, and clocked out. Apparently, someone was coming by for an inspection and they needed to make sure the file room was up-date and organized correctly. Hence, their need for a temp. 

When the temp agency had first told him about the position he’d thought it had been a gift. It would be perfect, he could relax, file for a bit, take a nap, file for a bit more, then go home. As long as he finished before the inspection who cared, right? 

“hrk.”, Sans grumbled just thinking about it. 

Glenda, the good witch from hell, cared. She would ‘pop on in’ to check on him from time to time to make sure that he was working, but she only seemed to come by when he  **stopped** working. So he figured on days when he didn’t stop, he shouldn’t see her or her stupid fake smile, right? 

Wrong. 

She still managed to find a reason to poke her head in and say ‘Hello, Hello! And how are you doing on this fine day?’ with malicious cheer, that was so fake she might as well be the history channel. And she’d always say the same thing, in the same tone… every time.

So now day thirteen of this temp job, and  **fuck** he was only on the K’s, the constant disruptions paired with the lack of breaks were starting to drive him  **crazy** .  And, honestly, if it had just been his obnoxious co-workers and his disrupted nap schedule he’d have been able to push through, but it wasn’t. The real issue was the fact that the task had already become  **automatic** , so on the blissful occasions he wasn’t being constantly interrupted his mind would wander… This job was giving him long stretches of ‘free time’ that he couldn’t nap during or play on his phone or really do anything else that was mildly entertaining… so he would  **think** . 

...But  **not** get the time to write any of it down.

Some new idea or crazy-ass thought would pop into his head and instead of being able to write it down and move on, his brain would tinker and modify and review it... over and  **over** and  **_over_ ** . That was what was  **really** starting to drive him insane… well, more insane. 

He hadn’t realized how much he still toyed with his theories about quantum chronomechanics or the properties of non-sequential non-linear time fields, but now that he didn’t have a way to  **stop** thinking about them, they were all he  **could** think about. His once nap-exclusive lunch breaks had become nothing, but him pulling out his notebook and writing for the shortest thirty minutes of his life. 

Sans scrubbed at his face.  _ i’m getting too old for this… _

He snorted. God, if Tori had heard him say that, she be giving him an earful about needing to enjoy his youth while he still had it. He had tried to tell her once, a hell of a long time ago, that he was a Boss Monster, albeit a young Boss Monster but still a Boss Monster. He just didn’t have heart to interrupt the old lady on the other side of the door talking about the ‘wonders of youth’. And now he just wasn’t sure how to tell her, or if she’d even believe him. It was just so rare for Boss Monster lineages to even still exist, so the idea that he and Papyrus were part of one didn’t seem plausible, even to him and he could still remember the old doctor. 

...and there went his mood. 

He’d been planning on taking a nap before he went trick ‘er treating with the kid, but now it was starting to look like he was going to need to watch a couple of really dumb youtube videos to stop his declining mood from… declining. 

On a sigh, Sans fished out this phone and started to push his souring thoughts from his mind, when the phone he’d been reaching for, rang. 

Sans didn’t recognize the number, but his thumb had already committed to answering the call so he raised the device to his skull. The action wasn’t actually necessary, monsters like Sans and other less humanoid beings, didn’t have ears the way others did. He really just need to feel the speakers vibrations to hear what the person on the other end was saying, and he certainly didn’t need to bring the phone up to his teeth for the mic to pick up his voice. His soul interpreted the vibrations and it created his words, so just slapping the damn thing on his sternum would be far more effective… however that seemed bothered both monsters and humans alike. So at this point the action was just a habit, like flexing his ribs to mimic breathing. 

“heya.”, Sans drawled into the receiver. 

“... Hello, this is Mike Holton, the University of Ebott’s TAC Visitor Coordinator, and I am looking for a, Dr. Gaster, is he available?”, replied the stranger. 

.

.

.

It was like he’d just been slapped. 

 

It took Sans several moments longer than he would have liked, to realize that he was also Dr. Gaster…  **_technically_ ** . And that this, Mike Holton, was trying to reach  **him** , not someone who- ...didn’t exist. “... Hello? Sir?” 

Sans sat up and tried to recollect himself, “yeah, yeah, sorry. this is he,  **sans** gaster. what can i do for you?” 

“Oh! Excellent. I was calling about your email concerning the possibility of a tour of our on-campus observatory and the Lick Observatory.” The man explained... delightedly? 

“... yeah. i’d just wanted to know if you guys did tours and stuff for the public… that’s all.”, Sans responded, his confusion growing with every word the stranger said. Actually, this whole damn situation was confusing him. If the guy just wanted to talk about the tours, wouldn’t he have just emailed Sans back? And how did he even get Sans’ cell number, he hadn’t attached it to the email. And how did this guy, even know that he was even a doctor in the first place? Sans sure as hell didn’t sign his name, ‘Sans Gaster, Ph.D’. What was  **going** on here? 

“Would you like one? A tour, I mean.”, Mike questioned hurriedly, clearly sensing Sans’ apprehension. 

“...yes… that’s why i’d sent an email. i’d just expected someone ta’ ya’ know, email me back… not ta’ call me. i mean, how’d ya’ even get my number?”, Sans questioned slowly. He had to resist the urge to look around and check if he’d accidentally fallen asleep and this was just some weird ass dream. 

Maybe Sans had missworded his email or something, and this guy had gotten the wrong impression? Yeah, he probably thought Sans was like a teacher, or something, and he wanted to take his class on a field trip to the university. 

There was a few shuffling sounds from the other end before Mike spoke again, “I- um, well. I was instructed to contact you as soon as possible to arrange a tour for you… at your convenience of course, Dr. Gaster.” He sounded rather nervous. 

“sans.”, answered the skeleton, it was a leftover reflex from when he’d worked at the Royal Lab. “it’s just sans.” 

“Oh, okay. So, Dr. Sans… Did you still want a tour of our on-campus and off-campus facilities? Dr. Ethan Quiggle, the Director of the Theoretical Astrophysics Center, wanted to give you your tour personally. He said that he’d be more than happy to meet you at Campbell Hall for the on-campus tour or to show you around the Lick Observatory whenever you’re available.” He explained cheerily, but his nervousness was still audible.

_ maybe he doesn’t like talking on the phone? ... _ **_yeah_ ** _ or maybe he’s realized that this  _ **_is_ ** _ as  _ **_weird_ ** _ as is sounds… _

Sans sighed into the phone, whatever the hell this was, it was too much for him to handle. “look... mike? i’m certain that dr. … quiggle is a very busy dude, so i don’t want to take up any of his time with what i think might be a misunderstanding. i’ll just wait until u-of-e has it’s open house, next april. sorry about the confusion, man. you have a-” 

“Wait, wait!”, squealed the phone’s speakers. Sans jerked the device away from his head, but the damage had been done. “You’re Dr. C. S. S. Gaster, right?”, Sans managed to make out despite the vibrations from the previous electronic screech still ringing through him.  

“... yes?”, Sans didn’t know why it came out a question, but it had. He could feel the dread settling into his soul, whatever this guy was going to say next it wasn’t going to be good. He  **knew** publishing those papers would come back to bite him in the ass. 

“Then, no. There hasn’t been a misunderstanding. Ethan- I mean, Dr. Quiggle wants to meet you and would like to discuss your current research.” 

“oh…”, was all Sans could manage. How had he gone from temp-worker to doctor of theoretical quantum physics in a phone call? This was giving him some serious whiplash. 

“So… about the tour?”, Mike asked once more, after Sans hadn’t said anything else. 

Sans didn’t think this was a good idea. He wasn’t really that kind of a monster anymore and he didn’t want to get this Dr. Ethan Quiggle’s hopes up… but the idea of getting to poke around inside an  **actual** observatorium was too hard to resist. “uh... sure. yeah, i’d still like one, since you’re offering… but dr. quiggle has probably got classes and stuff so i don’t wanna screw with his scheduled…”  

Hmmm…”, the phone crackled. “Then... perhaps a weekend? Ethan is free on the twelfth, does that work for you?” 

“november twelfth? sure. when?”, Sans asked, deciding that if this was all a hallucination or a  **really** elaborate prank then he might as well go all in. 

“I’ll have to get back to you about that… but I should be able to send you a dossier about how to get to Campbell Hall, as well as your visitor’s pass and parking permit by Wednesday.” Mike said over the noise of computer keys clacking. 

“okay... sure, thanks.” This might be the weirdest thing to ever happen to him… on the Surface, at least. 

“Of course, Dr. G- Sans. Thank you so much for your time and I hope you have a happy Halloween.” Mike concluded, his voice back to its cheery ‘I’m a professional’ tone. 

“you too, man. later.” Sans replied. The other man said his goodbye’s and hung up. 

Sans just stared down at his phone as it blinked that the call had ended, before snapping to his home screen. His background was currently a very tasteful photo-stock image of a skeleton and the text ‘you can’t skele-run from my skele-puns’ poorly photoshopped underneath. Toriel had texted it to him last week, during one of their meme only conversations. 

Sans wondered if someone call him back and shout ‘Get Rekt Scrub!’ just to complete this bizarre prank. 

But no such call came. 

Which really could only mean one of two things: he’s finally  **lost** it or that  **actual** just happened. 

Sans wanted to check his email and look for the one he’d sent to the damn university. He wanted to look up who the hell Ethan Quiggle and Mike Holton were. He wanted to make sure he **wasn’t** crazy… well, not **_this_** crazy. 

But… that was something he could do… later.

Yeah, he could look into all of that stuff… tomorrow… or when Mike whats-his-face emailed him, if he ever did. He could deal with all of this later. He’d had a  **really** long day. 

He should just take a nap. Sans flopped backwards again, letting his phone slip out of his hand. His eyes started to drift closed… 

.

.

. 

“SANS! HURRY WE MUSTN'T BE LATE TO LADY TORIEL’S AND FRISK’S HOUSE! THE TINY HUMAN, FRISK, AND MY NUMBER ONE FAN WHO IS NOT YOU, M.K., REQUIRE OUR GUIDANCE THROUGH THE NEIGHBORHOOD IN ORDER TO MAXIUM OUR- I MEAN, THEIR CANDY COLLECTION RADIUS!” Papyrus called from his room across the hall. 

Right… He’d promised the kiddos that he’d trick or treat with ‘em… Well, he’d actually offered to take them off Toriel’s hands for the evening, while she got ready for Mettaton’s Halloween party,  _ guaranteed to break at least one new sound ordinance every hour or your money back _ .

“AND DO NOT FORGET YOUR HALLOWEEN COSTUME FOR METTATON’S HOWLING HALLOWEEN HOUSEWARMING BASH, FOR WILL SHALL BE DEPARTING FROM LADY TORIEL’S HOUSE DIRECTLY AFTER WE CONCLUDE OUR TRICK AND OR TREATING CANDY QUEST!”, Papyrus continued to instruct through  **both** of their closed doors. 

There really wasn’t a being alive like Papyrus. It made Sans smile, knowing that the one and only Great Papyrus was  **his** brother. 

And he debated how much longer he could lay in bed for before Papyrus stormed into his room to collect him… 

He could probably get five more minutes in… 

 

* * *

The trio rushed across the street, in obvious delight.  _ a chef, a pizza, and a warlock walk into a bar… _

The smile on Sans’ face only grew wider. He’d thought that this was going to be a lot more work, having to chase after the kids as they ran from house to house, but with Papyrus going up to the door with them Sans realized he didn’t even need to cross the street when they zigzagged back and forth. They even came rushing back to him, to tell them what they’d got from each house. It was a pretty  **sweet** gig, to be honest. He just had watch them bounce from house to house and snap a few pics for Tori and MK’s parents… and himself, every once in awhile.  _ easy _ . 

“Hey, Mom! Look! Someone put that skeleton in a hoodie- Oh! and look, that’s the same shirt Danny has!”, a kid shouted from a few houses down, pointing at Sans. 

Sans wasn’t sure if that bothered him or not. 

Sure, he’d stepped onto the edge of someone’s lawn to stay out of the flow of foot traffic while he waited and he wasn’t moving around a whole bunch, but still… he wasn’t a prop in a cheesy Halloween shirt. But when the kid’s mom hadn’t really taken a good look at  **who** her son was pointing at, before she said, “That’s nice, dear.” and continued texting, Sans realized that he  **did** mind… and with the way they were going it looked like they were going to walk  **right** in front of him. 

It took everything Sans had to  **not** smile wider as he waited for the pair to approach, he even took extra care not to move or fake breathe. As he waited, he wondered if this would be too mean… to scare the two of these two strangers like this. But he’d seen a few humans who’d been sitting on their porches doing the same thing and the kid looked like he was twelve or so, well passed the age where he should know that pointing at strangers was rude… He decided that jumping out at them and shouting would be too much, though… He just needed a well-timed comment… 

They had just crossed in front of Sans when he spoke, “hey, this danny person must have good taste in clothes...” 

The women shrieked so loudly that several people turned to look at her as she dropped her phone to the ground. Her son was completely speechless as he scrambled away from the suddenly talking skeleton. And his eyes nearly popped out of his head when Sans moved to tug on his own ‘404: Costume Not Found’ shirt. “... ‘cause this shirt’s a  **skele-** ton of fun.” 

The women was clutching at her heart like she thought it was trying to jump out of her chest as she gaped wordlessly at him. The kid was still wide-eyed, but his initial fright seemed to be wearing off as both the implication of Sans’ words and his terrible joke sunk in. “welp, don’t forget to pay attention to your surroundings,” Sans narrowed his eyes slightly at the women, before winking to the kid, “and have a spooky halloween.” 

The boy nodded and had the good graces to look a little sheepish, but his mother looked like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to scream or cry. Sans took that as his cue to leave and he gave the pair a little wave as he made his way across the street. He could hear a few people snicker, probably the ones who’d seen the whole thing, as the woman started spluttering at his departing form. 

All in all, not too shabby.  _ changing the world one jump scare at a time. _ Sans snickered to himself as he watched his family walk out of the curbside ‘haunted house’. 

Despite, wearing his costume to work, as a waiter, Papyrus’ chef attire was completely spotless. So under the blacklight with his all white costume and bright white bones he was nearly blinding. Frisk, on the other hand, in their black wizarding robes would have been invisible in the dim purplish light if it weren’t for their enormous glowing smile. As for MK… well, the kid looked like a giant hyper active slice of pizza somebody’d put under a blacklight. 

“so, whaddya guys get this time?”, Sans inquired. 

“She had full size candy bars!”, Frisk exclaimed with glee. That seemed to be consistent with what Sans had seen so far: the scarier the house, the better the candy. 

“YES, THE BE-COSTUMED FRISK IS RIGHT! THE PIRATE QUEEN WHO ANSWERED THE DOOR LOOKED VERY DELIGHTED AT OUR APPEARANCE FOR SHE HAD BEEN AFRAID CHILDREN WOULD BE TO SCARED TO COME UP TO HER DOOR. HOWEVER! WITH THE GREAT CHEF PAPYRUS ACCOMPANYING THEM THERE WAS NOTHING TO FEAR! NYEH HEH HEH!”, Papyrus practically cackled and effectively knocked his fake mustache a skew. 

“Yo! It was super-duper amazing!”, MK wiggled in excitement, before he turned back to Papyrus, “I can’t thank you enough Mr. Papyrus for helping me hold the candy bag and for dressing up with me! You’re like the greatest  **ever** !” 

Sans had to stomp down the well of emotion that attempted to overtake him as he watched Papyrus’ eye-lights shine a bright orange in exuberance. 

“O-OF COURSE, MK! I WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPY TO ASSIST YOU HOLD YOUR CANDY, FOR THAT- AMONG OTHER THINGS, IS WHAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOES!”, Papyrus managed to say as nobly as possible despite his own excitement. 

“Nah, Yo! We gotta split this candy, too! It wouldn’t be fair for me to just take all of it.”, Monster Kid explained while they all rounded the corner and headed to the next block. 

“OH, CERTAINLY NOT! THIS CANDY IS YOUR REWARD FOR WANDERING THROUGH THE STREETS AND DEMANDING SWEETS FROM STRANGERS, YOU DESERVE THIS! BESIDES, EATING THIS MUCH CANDY WOULD BE VERY BAD FOR YOU-”, Papyrus started to say until he saw MK’s crestfallen face. “AND BY YOU, I MEAN ME! AN ADULT! ADULTS SHOULD NOT EAT THIS MUCH CANDY! BUT CHILDREN CAN… SLOWLY… OVER SEVERAL MONTHS… AND ONLY AFTER RECEIVING THEIR PARENTS PERMISSION! NOW LET US HURRY AND EVALUATE THE NEXT HOUSE IN OUR QUEST! NYEH!” 

That seemed to put the pep back in MK’s step as he and Frisk cheered. They started to race past the next few houses, all dark without any decorations. Sans briefly wondered, if they’d be ‘decorated’ come morning, but his attention snapped back to the present as Papyrus made to join the running children. “woah there, pap. before you head off again i  **must-ache** a question first.” Sans then wiggled a phalange below his nasal passages.    


Papyrus rolled his eye-lights, not dignify the  **third** time he heard that joke this evening with an answer, but he did stop and bend down so Sans could re-attach the fake stache. As Sans worked he couldn’t resist asking, “so… if adults can’t have a bunch of candy… then why’d you eat an entire bag of monster candy yesterday?” 

“SHHH!”, Papyrus shushed him louder than Sans had even spoken. “THE INNOCENT YOUTHS CAN NOT HEAR YOU. SOMETIMES… AS AN ADULT, YOU MUST MISDIRECT CHILDREN FOR THEIR OWN GOOD! MONSTER KID DESERVES EVERY SINGLE PIECES OF THIS CANDY, DESPITE HIS NOBLE WISH TO SHARE HIS SPOILS.” He explained, his voice serious and patient as if he was explaining something important to a child, but his eyes were teasing. 

“i see.”, Sans answered without so much as a snicker, as he let Papyrus stand back up. After several seconds of silence, he glanced at Papyrus. They made eye contact. Sans and Papyrus burst into laughter. It took them several more steps before they managed to get their laughter under control. “heh, heh, heh. but seriously papyrus, are you havin’ a good time?” 

“I MOST CERTAINLY AM! IT HAS BEEN QUITE A WONDERFUL NIGHT SO FAR AND HOW ABOUT YOU BROTHER? ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS EVENING OF TRICKS OR TREATING?” Papyrus returned, while they walked. 

“yeah, bro. i think this night has been pretty ful- **fill** -ing despite it being, ya’ know,  **hollow** -een.” Sans winked up at the taller skeleton-monster. 

“WE WERE HAVING SUCH A NICE TIME AND THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND RUIN IT!!” was Papyrus’ distressed reply. 

Before Sans could continue ‘ruining' his brother’s night, Frisk called, “Come on, guys! The candy’s not going to wait all night!”, while both children danced around on the sidewalk in front of the nearest decorated house. 

“Frisk’s right, yo!”, MK hollered while Frisk helped him stay on his feet after an almost spectacular costume related gravity check.  

“YOU ARE QUITE RIGHT, AS ALWAYS, LITTLE AMBASSADOR! LET US NOT WASTE ANOTHER MOMENT!”, Papyrus exclaimed. He took several long strides, easily out pacing Sans, and hurried to catch up with the children. Both of whom had started to make their way to the door.  

By the time Sans had reached the house, Frisk was skipping down the lawn. Papyrus and MK were still at the door, however. When the small warlock saw Sans glance back up to the restaurant duo, Frisk said, “The guy at the door needs to fill up his candy bowl. He gives out these huge handfuls!” 

“sounds like paps has a pretty good  **hand** le on the situation then, so do ya’ wanna wait or head to the next house?” Sans questioned around Frisk’s laugh and Papyrus’ groan. He’d let his voice carry up to the door, in hopes of such a response. 

Without any hesitation, Frisk took hold of Sans’ sleeve and began to drag him to the next house. “Let’s go!” 

Apparently, he was going up to the door for this one, because Frisk still hadn’t released him as they made their way across the large stepping stones that bisected this house’s lawn. 

At Frisk’s excited knocks, Sans had to resist the reflex to ask ‘who’s there?’. Some habits were hard to kick, and others he wouldn’t give up for worlds. As the door swung open both Sans and Frisk said, 

 

“trick er’ treat.”

“Trick or Treat!” 

 

Although, Sans left his hands in his pocket. He had no intention on getting any candy, but in his opinion the phrase always sounded better in stereo.  

The blonde woman in a blue blouse was not what he had expected. All of the other people he’d seen had been in costume themselves or at least wore a Halloween themed shirt, but this lady looked like she’d walked right off a set and she’d be cast as ‘strict mother 1’. Her hair was pulled back so tightly Sans was minorly concerned for her scalp and her makeup looked like it had just been re-applied. But none of that was a bad thing, she had a bright friendly smile as she opened the door. 

No the problem arose when she made eye contact with Sans and immediately dismissed him. No friendly smile for him. Hell, he didn’t even rate a parental nod of understanding. She just blatantly ignored him. 

But Sans held his tongue. She wasn’t ignoring Frisk and Sans didn’t want to ruin this for them. 

“Why hello there, honey! Aren’t you the cutest little witch!”, the woman fake crooned. Sans did not let his eye twitch when she mis-gendered Frisk, but once they grabbed their candy he was  **absolutely** going to correct her. 

But Frisk beat him to it, “Thank you very much, but I’m a warlock.” Just as polite as ever,  _ gosh they’re tori’s kid _ , Frisk selected a piece of chocolate and backed away from the door. Sans felt their fingers re-attach themselves to his elbow, they were clearly ready to go.

The blonde, however, wasn’t ready to let it go. She cocked her head and her lips tightened around her smile; the expression screamed ‘patronizing parent’ to Sans. “Did you mean wizard, sweetie? Because girls can’t be wizards, they get to be witches~” 

Frisk tightened their grip on his arm.

Okay, it was one thing to mis-gender a person they’d never met, Sans could blame society for that fuck up, but to tell someone  **elses** kid what they could or could not be was stepping over the line. “‘scuse me,  **ma’am** . but  **they** can be a warlock or a witch or a wizard, it is  **_entirely_ ** **their** choice.” 

Her gaze turned frigid as she finally dained to acknowledge Sans, her blue eyes were full of contempt and revulsion. Sans could see the venom forming on her tongue, as she opened her mouth to speak.  _ is this woman seriously about to start a fight with somebody she’s never met before, while standing on her doorstep, on hallow-freaking-ween, in front of a kid? _

Sans just cut her off before she could even get her rant going, “you have a happy halloween, ma’am.” Then he turned away, guiding Frisk back down the manicured lawn to the sidewalk and the hell away from that- that  **self-righteous** PTA mom. 

Papyrus and MK came rushing up to them, all excitement and happy energy, but when they tried to head up to the house behind Sans and Frisk, he stopped them. “sorry, guys they just ran out of candy. why don’t you guys go do the next house, just ta’ keep our house count even, ‘kay?” His voice was apologetic and calm, none the outrage that burned in his soul seeped through. 

“Heck yeah! Come on Mr. Papyrus, we can’t let them beat us, yo!”, Monster Kid cheered as he raced off to the next house. Papyrus hesitated, he could tell something was wrong…  _ damn, he really good at that _ . 

“It’s okay Uncle Papyrus, Uncle Sans and I just need to talk really quick.”, Frisk soothed. Papyrus sent Sans one more concerned look before he turned to follow after the stumbling pizza child. With a valent catch and an excited laugh, Papyrus caught MK and pulled him up onto his shoulder as they raced off to the next house across the street. 

“Thank you.”, Frisk whispered to Sans as they squeezed his arm in a hug and whipped their face on his sleeve. 

And just like that the anger flooding his soul melted away, somehow this kid had managed to wrap him around their little fingers. “always, kiddo.” As they walked slowly away from the  **real** haunted house on the block, Sans went on, “and frisk?” 

“Yeah?”, the child answered. 

“don’t let anybody tell you what you can or cannot do. don’t let somebody tell you how to live your life, alright?”, Sans said. Then as an afterthought, he elbowed them lightly with the arm they’d attached themselves to and he continued, “... unless it’s your mom. ‘cause let’s be real here, she knows more about keepin’ you safe than both of us combined.” 

Frisk beamed back at him, “You’re so mushy, Uncle Sans! Come on, we can’t keep everyone waiting!” 

Sans let himself be dragged down the street, glad Frisk wasn’t letting anyone distract them from what really mattered… 

 

Free candy.

 

* * *

Toriel looked at herself in the mirror and wondered if the makeup was really necessary…. She could go without it, right? Nobody’d notice or care… it’d be fine. 

She sighed heavily. 

 

_ I have already applied the liner to one eye, I just need to do one more… and my lashes… then just a bit of that red lipstick… that is it. It truly is not very much… I can do this. _

 

Toriel leaned onto the counter once more and slowly tried to apply her eyeliner… again. 

It’d taken her two more tries before it matched her other eye. Luckily, the mascara was much simpler to use, as well as her lipstick. Frisk had insisted that she wear the bright red one, because it would make her look more ‘spooky’. Looking at her finished work in the mirror she thought that it just made her look much younger than she was… or at least, that it made her look like she was  **pretending** to be much younger than she was. 

Toriel wanted to take it off, but it had taken so much effort to put on... it would a waste if she just removed it… maybe it would look better with her costume on? 

Toriel made her way out of her bathroom and towards her bed, where she had laid out her ‘grown up’ costume. Truthfully, she’d much rather wear her mummy costume; it was comfortable and simple and had pockets… 

Toriel re-adjusted her bra strap as she considered the best way to put on her dress, when her phone buzzed. She plucked up the device and smiled as she discover it was another picture message from Sans. That could only mean it was another picture of Frisk. Tonight, Sans had been sending her text messages with pictures of her child, but snapchat messages for everything else. It was like he knew she’d want to keep the images… no it was not  **like** that, it was  **exactly** that. Her friend knew her so well… 

Although, it would be nice if he would send her text message photos of himself from time to time, she was just not fast enough to ‘take a screenshot’ of the snapchat pictures she received. Toriel shook her head with a smile and a sigh, as she opened up his most recent message. 

It was an adorable group photo of Frisk and two older children Toriel did not recognize, one monster and one human, but all three wore wizarding robes. The feline-monster in the center had a lightning bolt drawn on their forehead and wore clearly fake round spectacles; the little blonde girl on the right had fluffed her hair out as much as it would go and was carrying around a very battered looking stuffed cat. Frisk was positively beaming on the left. 

Toriel had to press a hand to her soul to stop it from fluttering in pure delight, she could do without the needless fireballs at the moment. But this picture summed up everything she could have ever hoped for, her darling child making friends, humans and monsters bonding together, building friendships and memories, it was small things like this that made her whole life worthwhile. It made the hours of paperwork and political red-tape and endless meetings feel meaningful. Sans couldn’t have sent her a better picture. 

Then she noticed the caption he had added to the image. 

 

_ \--- * you’ve got one magical kid, tori _

 

She would not cry. 

She would not shed a single tear no matter the circumstance... her makeup was  **not** waterproof. She waved a hand over her eyes in an attempt to make them stop watering. 

Eventually, she’d managed to regain some of her composure and went back to her phone an equally corny pun at her fingertips, when she realized that she still had not gotten dressed… 

 

_ It- it does not matter, Sans cannot tell that I am not fully clothed through a text message… That is completely ridiculous! _

 

She hesitated. 

Then out of sheer self-annoyance she sent her message anyway, she should  **not** be overreacting about something so completely  **silly** . 

 

_ * Well, they can be quite charming~  _

_ * Thank you, Sans. This photo… I cannot describe to you how much it means to me.  _

 

There, she sent them! And nothing bad was going to happen, she’s just a silly old goat who worried too much. 

Toriel turned her attention back to the dress and her current dilemma. She wanted to step into dress to help ensure her makeup’s safety, but if she did that then the tight garment would pull her fur the wrong direction leaving it clumped oldly under her dress… 

Even after all of that time, she was still going to have to risk her hard work in favor of her overall comfort. With a sigh and the completely unzipped dress, slowly and delicately she pulled the black dress down over her horns... and eyes... and snout... Without so much as letting the fabric touch her face. 

After she tugged the dress the rest of the way down and managed to pull the zipper back up, she opened her closet door revealing the full-length mirror she’d hung on the inside of the door. She looked… well, she wasn’t sure what she looked like, but it certainly was  **not** herself. 

This was the same dress Mettaton had purchased for her back in May.  _ Heavens! Has it truely been that long… _ And she had yet to wear it. So it had seemed like a wonderful idea to wear the dress for his Halloween party… but it was a little shorter than she would have liked. 

Although, she had to admit the neckline was very… flattering. It also clung to her hips without bunching or feeling too tight as she moved, a very rare quality. The dress was a very pretty garment even if she wished it had a bit more in the sleeve department… and that the opaque portion of the dress went to the floor, instead of stopping above her knees. But the sheer floor-length skirt that hung over the the first layer was very lovely. Its transparent black fabric was soft and smooth as it swished. A clever designer had even hidden seams in the design around the middle. If only it didn’t let in such a large draft around her legs, it would be perfect… 

“...but a black dress doth not a witch make.” Tories hummed to herself in the mirror. 

She turned away from her image and headed back to her bed, ready to collect the rest of her costume when she heard several delighted shrieks from outside. 

“Nnnoooo! Don’t laugh at me, I am scary and mean! Fear me!” Flowey shouted downstairs. 

Toriel sighed heavily. Flowey hadn’t wanted to go with Frisk and the others, but Frisk insisted that he participate in the Halloween festivities. So her child had placed his flowerpot on the living room window sill where he could see anyone who walked by. They had told him that just for tonight, he would be allowed to scare people. 

And of course the plant had taken it to heart. Although, it seemed his attempts so far had been- un **fruit** ful, if his complaints were anything to go by… 

 

_ What had Sans been thinking? Indulging Frisk's sense of adventure and taking them back to the mountain so late in the evening. They both could have been seriously hurt…  _

 

And then there was Flowey… Frisk had been so adamant about taking him in, about being the one who had to help him get better at ‘being nice, again’. Toriel was all for helping out those in need, but… she remembered Flowey from her time in the Underground. He was one of the only monsters who had been able to cross her seal… and it had never sat well with her. Granted, the flower-monster had kept to himself, but she would often find him either watching her or picking on the other monsters that lived in the Ruins. He had always seemed despondent and generally unpleasant… and deep down he made her feel very uneasy. 

But now he lived on her child’s desk, like a very vocal and rude imaginary friend… who was visible and said terrible things to everyone he met. The first time he had encountered Dr. Alphys he had reduced her to tears… Undyne had been less than thrilled. That had been a very-  **eventful** afternoon. He would often say particularly cruel things to her whenever Frisk wasn’t present, but Toriel had thought much worse of herself than this mean-spirited soul could dish out. Sometimes when Flowey was feeling especially vile, he would try to say nasty things to Papyrus, but either Papyrus didn’t care or he didn’t notice… Toriel often found herself leaning towards the former option. But what bothered her the most about Flowey was how he interacted with Sans… or rather, how he did not.

Sans and Flowey would openly ignore each other unless it became physically unavoidable, and then not only did Flowey hiss insults at her friend, Sans would return them. He  **always** keep them light and joking, though, like a jest among friends… but Toriel could hear the hollowness in Sans’ voice… It was something she had heard once before, it had frightened her then and it frightened her now. It was so painfully clear that Sans and Flowey hated each other and had for quite some time, but now they both pretend to play nice... or at least pretended the other didn’t exist. 

“ **_HEE HEE HA HA!_ ** ”, Flowey’s demented laugh, broke her out of her thoughts. She knew that there was far more to the story than either of them were likely going to share, but she would wait. Sans had waited for her to be ready to share her burden, so she would wait for him…  _ But will he ever feel ready to share, if he just continues to ignore the problem? He must talk with someone… he must share, or he won’t ever recover… _

After closing the necklace’s clasp, Toriel looked at herself once more in the mirror. 

Frisk had been right, the semi-translucent spiderweb lace had made an excellent Halloween cardigan. The flowing fabric provided the long witchy sleeves she had wanted without taking away from the lines of her dress. And even if it didn’t stretch past the hem of her skirt it at least left her feeling a little warmer. Her hat had been the hardest part of her outfit however, finding one that curved downward had been no easy task, for she did not need a prop that made her taller. But eventually she had and with its small fake spider tassel hanging off the tip, Toriel hadn’t been able to resist. The wide brimmed hat had fit like a dream, once she’d made a holes for her horns, that is. And then the authentic spider necklace she had purchased from Miss Muffet, with its long delicate legs, her whole costume really came together. 

She swished the fabric of her skirt once more and checked her appearance one more time in the full-length mirror. 

 

_ Perhaps I will enjoy this party after all… _

 

* * *

“come on granny s, you can’t tell me that you think next gen was all bad. sure there wasn’t kirk, but picard was an excellent captain.” Sans insisted. 

The little old lady sitting next to him on the sofa snorted. “That may be true, honey, but Kirk was the best captain to ever board the Enterprise and you can’t convince this old bitty otherwise.” 

Sans only laughed. Granny Smith was a delight. She was the wonderful eighty seven year old who lived across the street from Toriel and she was also Frisk’s occasional babysitter. She was only ever called over if none of Frisk’s aunts or uncles were available, like tonight. With Mettaton’s party everyone who Toriel’d usually call wouldn’t be able to make it… especially since damn-near everyone he knew had insisted that he had to go too. 

“And don’t think for a second that I don’t know that you think the original series is better. Why else would you be going as a first generation security officer?”, Granny Smith concluded with a decisive little head nodded while she crocheted. 

“that’s ‘cause the red shirt joke only works for first gen, which you already know. but seriously why won’t you give picard a chance?”, Sans inquired once more in a battle he knew he couldn’t win. 

“UUUUHHHHGGGG! Not this again! You two have got to pick a new hobby!”, Undyne complained from her seated position on the floor. She, Alphys and Frisk were all sitting on the floor, sorting Frisk’s candy hall into two piles: chocolate and not-chocolate. With Frisk getting the final say in categorizing the ambiguous pieces of candy. “I mean, Granny Smith why do you even put up with this nonsense?!” 

“N-no, don’t tell her t-to stop! S-she the only p-person I know who is will to go full trekkie with Sans. I-if she stops, t-then I’ve got to listen to him!”, Alphys half-cried out in fake misery. 

It got a snicker out of Frisk and a rather loud snort out of Undyne. If Sans had been closer to the lizard-monster he would have shoved her with his foot, but instead he’d have to make due with sarcasm. “ha. ha. really funny comin’ from the nerd in the zombie sailor scout costume.” 

“T-that’s Sailor Neptune t-to you.”, Alphys shot back, grinning up at him from underneath her teal wig. 

That got a laugh out of everyone, except Granny Smith. She just frowned slightly. Frisk was the first to notice the old woman’s mood, “What’s wrong, Granny Smith?” 

“Oh! Well I don’t want to be a bother, but… would you young ladies explain to me one more time why you’re both zombies again?” Asked the little old lady as she put down here yarn work, giving both Undyne and Alphys her undivided attention. 

“O-Okay! So both Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus-” Alphys began, first gesturing to herself and then the temporarily blonde Undyne before continuing,  “-were mind controlled by this villain named Sailor Galaxia and when the girls broke free of her control and tried to stop her she killed them! But everyone in the fandom knows they were really killed off because they were the only openly lesbian characters in the anime and manga series, which is a-whole-nother topic altogether!” Alphys concluded in a huff, before realizing that she’d been on a tangent. “O-oh... I-i did i-it again… I h-hope that w-wasn’t too confusing…” She fidgeted a little waiting for someone to say something.

“So… you’re both zombies because they killed your characters off in the show… because they were gay?” Granny Smith asked. When Alphys nodded, Granny Smith shook her head, “Well, that’s completely ridiculous! Just because they had the sense to realize how much of a hassle boys are they got the chair! Absurd! Someone ought to write that producer a letter. What an awful thing to do...” 

“Heck YES!”, Undyne cheered, as Alphys beamed. “Babe! Granny S it so right! We’ve totally got to write some nasty emails to the jerk who said Neptune and Uranus had ta’ go!” 

“W-well… actually I’ve g-got a couple of d-drafts on my computer already… hee…”, Alphys mumbled to her claws, a purplish flush danced across her scales. 

“Alphie! Babe! That kinda Passion is one things that I LOVE ABOUT YOU! HA! HA! HA!”, Undyne cackled as she pulled her girlfriend into a tight hug. 

Sans snorted as Frisk cheered. Granny Smith smiled to herself as she watched Undyne press kisses all over Alphys’ face. “W-w-ait! U-undyne! Our Makeup!”, cried out the giggling Alphys.

Sans felt his soul sigh a little. It just made him feel so… contented, maybe? Seeing Alphys laugh and smile and finally feel happy just being herself. After everything, Alphys had been through… and everything that she didn’t make it though… she deserved to have this, to have a life and friends and a soul to share it with. _ she deserves this…  _

A door opened up stairs and Sans could make out excited footsteps head for the stairs… ones he’d grown very accustom to over the years.    


“PREPARE YOURSELVES, HUMANS AND MONSTERS ALIKE! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM READY TO MAKE MY GRAND REVEAL!” exclaimed Papyrus as he lept down the stairs two at time. 

Papyrus entered the living room and the trio on the floor in front of the couch all gasped in awe. Sans’d seen Papyrus’ costume a bunch of times over the last month, as his brother slowly constructed his masterpiece, but Sans still turned to look over the back of his couch to see his brother’s finished product. 

He looked…  **_fantastic_ ** . It was like he’d been torn out of the pages of a Jules Verne novel. Papyrus had weathered his dress shirt and vest from the last time Sans had seen them. He added dirt and greasy smears tastefully around the shirt cuffs and he’d tarnished the bronze accents on his dark green vest. The half apron must have taken a lot of effort to singe and tarnish and stain to achieve that well-used look Papyrus had clearly been going for, but it looked perfect. Then the little details like the copper and brass tools poking out of pockets and the jangle of keys on loops and trinkets in pouches pulled the whole look together. His old leather welders gloves matched the worn patterns on the once nice oxfords he wore, and his charcoal dress pants had received the same attention to detail as the rest of the costume. 

The grin on Papyrus face was gigantic. He was nearly glowing with pride as he tinkered with the multi-lens goggles hung loosely around his neck. “nice, bro~”, Sans whistled, but his words were lost in the shouts of amazement.

“OH MY GOD!”, Undyne screeched as Papyrus made his way around the couch to show off his costume better. “PAPYRUS YOU LOOK FREAKING AWESOME!” The undead sailor scout shouted as she lept off the floor. 

“Undyne is so totally right! I-I had n-no idea that you like steampunk! Y-you’ve got to tell m-m how y-you tarnished y-your props, they look p-perfect!”, Alphys squealed and joining her girlfriend in her inspection of Papyrus’ costume. 

“You look so handsome all dressed up like this, you really ought to wear dress clothes more often. It suits you so very well…”, added a very impressed looking Granny Smith. 

Frisk nodded enthusiastically as they jumped around. “You gotta! You gotta! And you all have to take like a hundred pictures! Each! I wanna know all about everyone’s costume and what happens and you guys have ta’ tell me everything!” 

“And we most certainly will, my child. But you must make sure you go to bed on time and not give Granny Smith too much trouble.” Toriel called as she made her way out of her kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron while she walked. “And my goodness! Papyrus you look simply stunning, now I can tell why everyone made such a fuss. You have out down yourself!” 

Toriel’s words had been followed up by several concurring shouts from the others, but Sans hadn’t really heard them… 

He was staring… 

Again… 

But everyone was so focused on Papyrus it wasn’t like it mattered... or like someone would notice. 

 

Toriel just… she looked…  **_phenomenal_ ** … And he just couldn’t look away. 

 

When he’d first seen her, he’d been so glad the others had been standing in front of him, because their comments of delight and amazement gave him a chance to recover… and remember how to  **speak** . And even now, after he’d seen her flit around the house for nearly thirty minutes he was still stunned speechless by her. 

He wasn’t sure if it’d been the tight clingy dress or the sheer skirt deal that made the dress billow around her bare legs or the flowy lace-y coat-thing she wore over it or the adorable way she’d cut holes in her hat for her horns… but everything about her made him want to…  **touch** her. 

He wanted to see if the sheer cloth was as silky as it looked. He wanted to know if the dress really clung to her like a second skin. He wanted to know if the fur on her legs, her throat, her clavicle… was as soft as he expected it to be or- was is it softer, like velvet? 

He wanted to know if her lipstick would smear if he touched it. He wanted to run his phalanges through the downy fur on her face as he pulled her into a-

“The zipper is on the back…”, whispered the old lady sitting next to him. 

Sans’ head snapped around so quickly he felt a few of his vertebrae grind together. “what?”, Sans said, but it came out a breathless whisper. 

Granny Smith looked from him to Toriel and back again, the small smile on her lips didn’t sit well with him. “The zipper for her dress, it’s on the back.” 

She couldn’t have known what he was thinking-  **not** thinking… There was no way this little old lady was implying what Sans thought she was… she just couldn’t be- she was  **eighty seven** for pete’s sake! But before he could manage to feign ignorance, her smile turned into a knowing smirk, “I had assumed you’d been looking for it… for  _ future _ reference, of course.” 

“what?”,Sans repeated. His brain was starting to shut down, it was like all coherent thought was coming to a crashing halt and he was incapable of remembering any other words. 

“At least, if the face you were making was anything to go by…”, hummed Granny Smith and then to Sans’ utter horror: she  **winked** at  **him** . 

It’d have been one thing to get caught staring at Toriel, in her frilly apron and unbelievably attractive witch costume, it would have been a little embarrassing but he could’ve laughed it off… but this- 

 

_ she doesn’t think we’re- _

 

_ that i’d-  _

 

_ that i’m-  _

 

_...with tori!  _

 

_ but we’re not even-  _

 

_ tori doesn’t even-  _

 

_ she’d never-  _

 

_ we’d never-  _

 

_ we’re just friends! _ Sans almost blurted out loud. 

 

He could feel his magic race across his cheekbones, he could practically see the blue glow as his mortification burnt up his soul. Nobody had so much as notice the hushed conversation that passed between the two occupants of the sofa, but Sans suddenly felt like he was in very close proximity to too many people. 

He need to leave- like right fucking now, but- their were people- and the party and he couldn’t just disappear. He just needed to take a minute to- to collect himself and then… 

Then could explain to Granny S that she’d gotten it all wrong. That they weren’t- That she had just misunderstood. He and Toriel we’re just friends and he’d only been- been… what? 

Watching the way her snug dress shifted across her fur? Or the way the little flecks of ruby in her irises glittered more noticeably with the red of her lipstick? That he’d been wondering how it would feel to touch her? To kiss her-

 

**_fuck._ **

 

By some kind of blessing he’d been sitting on the side of the couch closest to the door, so he scrambled up from the couch and away from his tormentor. He needed to leave before someone noticed that he was glowing bright  **freaking** blue and asked him something that he’d  **literally** be unable to answer. He tried to stick his phalanges into his pockets as he rounded the corner, when he remembered his jacket was in his inventory. The hoodie didn’t really go with his star trek costume… 

“hell…”, Sans muttered to himself as he escaped into the safety of the hall, but before he’d made it outside someone called out to him. 

“Sans, my friend, is everything alright?”, Toriel asked from the living room. 

 

_ of course she’d have to be the one to ask… _

 

He calmed his soul and made a quite throat clearing sound, just to check if his voice sounded okay. “yeah, t. i’m- just gonna take a nap in the car so… you guys won’t accidentally leave behind when you’re all ready ta’ go.” Sans called back as evenly as he could. 

He didn’t wait for a response, he just flung the door open and relished the feeling of the cold air on his bones. 

 

It had been a **long** ** _weird_** day… and now it was going to be an even **longer** night. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you guys, gals, and non-binary pals in a week!


	5. - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, I'm alive!
> 
> I am so freaking sorry about not updating in 3 months. There will be more of an explanation at the end of the chapter if you care. 
> 
> ... Have a happy Halloween...? I guess.

Lights flashed. 

Music pulsed. 

Monsters and Humans danced.

If Mettaton hadn’t opened up the door and welcomed them in, Sans would have sworn they were at a nightclub and not at someone’s house party… but this was Mettaton… His penthouse apartment might as well have been a nightclub, with its dance floor and stage, DJ equipment and all out theatrical lighting. 

The place was enormous, seriously. It made Sans wonder how big Mettaton had wanted to go, when Papyrus told him that this was one to the smaller places on his housing list. But surprisingly it didn’t take up the whole floor, about a third of the space had been divided from the main living area and had been redesigned. They were Napstablook’s, Shyran’s, and Lemon Bread’s new digs. And with the extensive sound proofing that went into this place, it was a pretty perfect sanctuary for the shy monsters. 

One, Mettaton had instructed his beloved cousin and his backup singer to use if they ever felt too stress or uncomfortable during the night. When Sans had overheard that tidbit he wondered if it applied to him too… could he escape if he was feeling too uncomfortable? 

He’d already said his hello’s and made small talk, he smiled and told a few jokes, people had seen him… so couldn’t he just leave now? 

Sure, everyone else was having a good time… or at least he assumed they were, he’d lost them in the crowd a while ago, but Sans didn’t want to ruin it for them. They’d all taken Toriel’s minivan so they only needed one designated driver, Papyrus, so he didn’t want to drag them away from their fun.  _ not that i need to… _ Sans could just excuse himself and take a shortcut home, it’d be simple and quick and… 

And he’d be running away. 

He wasn’t sure why it felt like that, but it did and it was making his soul twist into painful knots. 

Something was going to happen. Sans could feel it in his bones, but he didn’t know  **what** . It could have been a good thing or a bad thing or a thing that didn’t have to do with any of them, but Sans could  **feel** it. The tension. The anticipation. The nervous energy. 

 

_ damn it. _

 

He’d actually wanted to enjoy this, to take the chance to take a break, have a few laughs with his friends, have a couple of drinks. The usual party stuff. 

But all he could feel was paranoid. 

Somewhere in the crowd he could hear Undyne’s battlecry, it was followed by a bunch of cheering. Sans smiled a bit a took a sip of his drink.

It was just punch. Nobody’d even bothered to spike it… and why would they when their was an open bar across the room, complete with bartender. 

Sans still wasn’t sure how Mettaton had talked Grillby into this, but there stood the flame elemental himself, in costume no less. The living flame was wearing what Sans could only describe as a wood patterned suit. If anyone else had worn that get-up Sans would have laugh a rib lose, but the ever stoic Grillby wore it flawlessly. 

Sans snorted into his next sip, only to remember it still didn’t have alcohol in it. He glowered into what he assumed was a red liquid, the multicolored lights were making it a little hard to tell. He wanted to get a drink, a real one. He’d even planned on having a couple tonight, but yet again something came up. He knew what would happen if he started drinking, one would become two, two would become several, and several would become a really  **stupid** idea that might fuck up everything. He was already having issues keeping himself together, chucking in alcohol induced inhibition was like walking into a room with a homicidal child waiting for him.  _ oh wait, i’ve already  _ **_done_ ** _ that.  _

Sans sighed again, for what felt like the hundredth time that night and scanned the crowd for familiar faces. Dogamy and Dogaressa were dancing and nose-nuzzling, and there was Nathan everyone’s favorite Nicecream monster trying to get Burgerpa-, Brent to join him, he even caught a glimpse of yellow and blue scales in sailor uniforms somewhere near the center of the jumping crowd. These were all people he knew or could easily get to know, but he just- didn’t want to… He just really wanted to go home and take a nap and just pretend like everything after he’d gone out with the kids hadn’t happened. 

He scanned the crowd again, unsure of who he was looking for until he saw her.

She was across the room talking with Ori, the small paper-monster. She had wrapped herself in black cat themed paper for the occasion. Sans couldn’t tell what they were talking about, but something Toriel had said made the tiny monster laugh. He could tell by the way her folds fluttered around; back in the Underground he’d make her do the same thing every time he’d swung through the MTT lobby to get to the restaurant for one of his favorite part time jobs. But right now, all he could think about was the way Toriel’s smile let her fangs peak out past her red lips. The color against her white fur made it so easy to follow every twitch her mouth made while she spoke, or took a sip of her drink, or licked her lips- 

 

_ hell. _

 

He was doing it again. He just kept staring at her, even for him this was starting to feel creepy. But goddamnit, why was this so difficult! Why couldn’t he just ignore whatever he was feeling for her and actually  **try** to have a good time? So he thought Tori was attractive? Big deal. Lots of monsters and humans probably thought she was attractive too. She is- was- the friggin queen for crying out loud! Plus, she was married. So yeah, other people thought she was pretty so it shouldn’t matter… 

 

_ oh yeah, bonehead… then why the fuck are you avoiding her?  _

 

Sans kinda wanted to pound his head against a wall. He knew he was being stupid and that this probably didn’t matter, but he felt like it did. It was like not telling Tori he was…  _ fuck! ‘crush’ cannot be the only word for this! _ ... he was-  **crushing** on her was like lying by omission. Not that he wasn’t notorious for doing that already, but this wasn’t just about him, it wasn’t just his problem. He didn’t want her to think that he’d become friends with her,  **or** stayed friends with her, because he  _ like _ liked her. 

 

_....the hell. _ **_like_ ** _ like her. what am i? seven?  _

 

_ oh for fuck’s sake! i’m just gonna tell her she looks hot and crack a dumbass joke and get a real drink. _

 

Sans pushed off of the wall, ready to find Toriel and get on with his life, when he was accosted by his host. “Why Sans, Darling~ What a surprise!”

Sans didn’t want to deal with this right now, but he also didn’t want to be a pain in the ass, well more of a pain in the ass to his host and his brother’s- boyfriend. Sans halted his progress and turned back to Mettaton, ready to play nice and be sort of civil. 

At first Sans had been a little surprised by Mettaton’s costume, it was not the flashy grandiose outfit he had been expecting. No, Mettaton wore an almost black victorian style suit, complete with top hat. It had seemed very tame, until Sans noticed the detailed filigree on the cuffs. Golds and coppers decorated each sleeve with very intricate gears. But that wasn’t the centerpiece of his costume, no what had caught everyone’s attention was the pop idol himself. He had covered all of his steel and chrome with bronze and gold metallic paint. Every visible inch of the the robot had been transformed into what could only be described as old-fashioned machinery. His attention to detail was astounding, even the screws on his face and glove-less hands had been re-colored to fit the era he was  pretending to be from. 

And when Papyrus stood next to him, Sans not only saw their obvious coordination, their vests’ had been identical, but also it made him hyper-aware of the eminent-  _ something _ . They had planned their costumes. They’d had enough time to make a  **plan** …  **_together._ **

Sans didn’t sigh as Mettaton sauntered over to him, he just wanted whatever the hell Mettaton and Papyrus had maybe,  _ probably _ , planned to just happen already so he could relax. As the idol approached, he carried on in his sultry voice, “I came over here because I felt a draft, only to find  _ you _ , Darling~” Then with a quick glance around to make sure no one would overhear him, “ **_What a shock…_ ** ” 

Papyrus would forgive him… probably. “well, ya’ know my costume is pretty  **cool** .”, Sans said with a wink and a mock smile that he wanted Mettaton to see through. 

Mettaton, the ever composed actor, didn’t flinch at Sans’ pun, but his eye narrowed slightly. “But, of  _ course _ ~ Now, why don’t you go show off your costume instead of being such a- wallflower~” 

“don’t like me  **skull-** king around your party?”, Sans queried with a sharp smile. He really didn’t need Mettaton coming over here to tell him that he was being antisocial, Sans was well aware of the problem. 

The eye-narrowing became more pronounced and he once again looked around to make sure no one was watching them. They weren’t. That’s why Sans had picked this place to stand, he was near the partitions for the ‘backstage’ area and was standing closer to the speakers than most beings would be comfortable with. “You are purposefully a menace upon society, but for some reason people still like you, and Papy just adores you… so I don’t want us to be enemies, but for once in your life can you please  **not** be creepy.” 

“it’s halloween, i thought everyone’s supposed to be creepy.”, Sans snarked, choosing to ignore Mettaton’s not entirely sincere request for a truce. 

“Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you.”, the robot griped as he folded his arms. 

Sans didn’t bother to hide his impish grin, “aww~ mettaton, i didn’t know ya’ cared.” His free hand came to rest on his sternum and sarcasm dripped from every word. 

“You know, in most societies it’s considered polite to  **not** ruin someone else’s hard work and planning.”, Mettaton shot back. 

And Sans had caught him. “so you are planning something.” 

Mettaton’s expression soured. “ **_Listen_ ** , I have worked very hard to set everything up and I don’t want it to all go to waste because you’re-  _ in a foul mood. _ The world doesn’t revolve around  **you** .” 

That made Sans frown. Sure, the irony of Mettaton, of all people, telling him that he wasn’t the center of attention didn’t go unnoticed, but… why would Mettaton think he’d ruin whatever they’d been planning? Sans was a jackass, but he didn’t go around destroying people’s lives… did he? 

Had he? 

Sans felt his soul twist painfully, but he shoved it aside.  _ never let them see you flinch. _ But he couldn’t let the conversation carry on this way, he need a distraction. “what? you’re not gonna propose are ya’?” It had been the first ridiculous thing to pop into his head.

Sans would really have to congratulate Alphys on her work, it must have taken months to build a face that could make micro-expressions like that. Mettaton’s visage went from surprise, to shock, to panic, to alarm, but finally settled back on shock. “I-I, what? No! I-I, mean it is far too soon, Papyrus would never say yes.” spluttered the appalled idol. 

Now, it was Sans’ turn to go wide-eyed. He hadn’t actually expected an answer! He’d just wanted to through Mettaton off a little and now they were both stunned. Each standing stock-still, waiting for the other one to break the awkward silence first.

.

.

.

“Don’t tell him I said that.”, Mettaton finally managed. 

“no.” Sans blurted. Then he took a second to actually try and say something coherent. “no, i- wasn’t going to bring it up. ever. that’s not a- me thing…” 

The two of them stood like that for several more seconds, both staring at each other as the terrible realization sunk in. 

 

_ we might be brothers-in-law, someday… _

 

_ welp, i’m done.  _

 

_ no more thinking for today. i’ve hit my quota.  _

 

“I need a drink.”, Mettaton muttered. 

And for once Sans agreed with flamboyant monster.  _ fuck it, my life’s not really gonna get any worse. _ “yeah… me too.”

After one more shared glance, they parted; each in a different direction. 

Sans hadn’t said ‘hi’ to Grillby yet and now seemed like the perfect time to have a chat with his favorite bartender.

 

* * *

The party was quite something. 

Toriel had never seen so much- activity, in one enclosed space before. The music was fascinating and had an excellent thrumming ‘bass’, she knew her old snail farmer could be the only one behind such soul-jumping songs. It was perhaps louder than her ears were used too, but the crowd jumping in front of the speakers seemed to be enjoying it, so as long as no one dragged her into that mob of bodies she ought to be fine. 

Mettaton had truly outdone himself, with the wide variety of snacks, almost all were monster food, the multitude of beverage stations, both alcoholic and non, and then the decor; it was truly amazing. Whenever the flashing lights lit up some part of the spacious apartment she noticed more and more of the intricate details that had gone into creating such an invitingly haunting space. Spectacular ‘real’ spider webs, smears of fake blood, and an astonishing array of graveyard artifacts littered the place without every feeling intrusive or in the way. 

If she’d had the time she’d have loved to see the place with the light on, just as she’d love to see Metttaton and Papyrus together in better lighting. If she did not get a better picture of the two of them, Frisk would be incredible disappointed. Although, she could likely just ask one or both of them for the pictures they took of themselves. Toriel knew, without a doubt, that they had spent a great deal of time together coordinating their costumes, so it only made sense that they’d have had a ‘photoshoot’ days before the party. 

When Toriel finally caught sight of her wonderful host, she was stopped by two darling monsters she had gotten to know over the last year. And to her great surprise they had decided to dress up as their favorite pop star, despite attending his party. 

“Like! OMG! Miss Toriel! You look mega-ultra hot!”, Catty squealed rather effectively over the music. 

“Catty is like, totes right! You are so the hottest witch here!”, Bratty agreed emphatically. 

Toriel smiled at her young friends, “Why, thank you for saying that, but I am just a little old witch, nothing special. You too, ‘Darlings~’ however look simply fabulous.” As much as Toriel appreciated the compliments she had never been very good at accepting them. It had taken her years to learn to not shy away from them, only for all that practice to waste away during her self-imposed isolation.  _ Alas, old habits… _

“OMG! I know right!”, Catty gushed with an excited twirl. It flared her hot pink coat-tails and Toriel was very impressed at her amazing balance in the stilettos strapped to her feet. 

Bratty laughed with her best friend when she finally came to a stop. “And even though, they’ve got, like, hundreds of Mettaton costumes in the store, we just totally had to make our own!” She fluffed her bright blue dress, while Catty checked to make sure her wig was sit in place. She and Bratty wore the same one, both cut in the same style and hanging over their right eyes. 

“But, that’s ‘cause we’re like so totally broke!”, Catty exclaimed with a laugh. 

Toriel couldn’t help it as the worry for the two young ladies as she entered, ‘Mom Mode’. “Oh, goodness. Are you two struggling financially?” 

“Like, not really”, Bratty said with a shrug, “We’ve just got to watch out budgets, and stuff.” 

“Don’t worry Miss. T! We’ve got these totally amazing jobs at this super cute thrift store, and our manager is like the best guy ev-ar~”, Catty reassured Toriel with a huge grin and sparkles in her eyes. 

Batty nodded in agreement. “Plus~ We’ve got these sweet digs that were sharing with my bro and Troy.” 

“I am so glad for the both of you! And how are Terrance and Troy these days? Are they here at the party, for I have not seen them?”, Toriel asked, delighted to hear about the lives of the monster outside of politics. Remembering that all of her, former, subject were beings with lives and stories and dreams had been very important to Toriel when she had been Queen. 

“Nah, T and T couldn’t make it. Troy’s boss wanted him to work tonight ‘cause kids are dumb and stuff on Halloween. So he’s gotta be on night-shift to make sure nobody tries to break-in or something.”, Catty said with a shrug. 

“M’hm, and my bro’s got night-classes so he couldn’t ditch for the party. It’s like such a bummer!”, Bratty whined. 

Now, that was new. Toriel had no idea that one of her former Guards was going back to school. “I am sorry that neither of them could make it to such an event, but it is wonderful to hear that they are both doing well. And night school, that quite the task, I am very proud.” 

Bratty and Catty both beamed up at her, even with their high heels she still stood taller than them. “It so is!”, Catty cheered. “Ter-Ter was like, ‘I wanna run a business’ and Troyie was all ‘Hot stuff, you can do whatever you want, I’ll like be with you always.’ It was totes adorbs!” 

Bratty and Catty both laughed, and Toriel smiled with them. Their happiness practically radiated off of them, it was very soul-lifting. Sometimes all she ever heard about was what was going wrong or how her people were suffering, so when she learned of their small victories it made her want to do more; to try to change the world faster to help all of them find their happiness, monsters and humans alike. 

Bratty looked like she was going to say more, when an electronic voice carried over the noise to them. “Why! Look who’ve I found! Three of the most glamorous ladies here!” 

Toriel turned slightly and watched Mettaton approach, glass of champagne in hand, camera-ready smile plastered across his brass-tinted face. Both of the younger monster with her squealed in high-pitched delight. “METTATON!” 

“Why yes, Darlings~ We’re all me!”, he cried merrily as he join their little group. Toriel did not feel the least bit surprised to discover that Mettaton enjoyed the idea of others dressing up like him. “Except for you, my gorgeous witch, you stand quite above the rest~”

She felt her smile widen, not because of the complement though. “Yes, I feel as though I am heads  **taller** than the competition.” Toriel punned back. 

The robot’s expression froze for just a second, and if Toriel hadn’t been watching his face for his reaction she would have completely missed the eye-twitch.  _ Oh no, the poor dear. Sans must have gotten to him already… _

“Yes, my thoughts exactly~ In fact, isn’t that the dress I bought for you? It look just marvelous on you, I bet everyone must just be falling head over heels for you~”, Mettaton winked as he recovered his composure without the other two girls noticing his hesitation. 

“Like, Oh My Gawd! That’s exactly what we said! She’s like, a total slayer in that get up!”, Catty went on enthusiastically. 

Bratty looked like she wanted to comment on Toriel’s pun, but had decided go along with her friends declaration instead. “Catty, is so totally right! We absolutely thought she looked mega-mag!”

“Oh, I just knew you two lovely Darlings had great taste~ And speaking of great taste, does anyone know where Papyrus is?” The idol crooned. 

Catty was doing a rather excellent impression of a temmie as she vibrated in place. “I so do! We saw him like ten seconds ago, he was dancing with Undyne and Alphys! He looked totes awesome~” 

“Oh, I know, Darling~ Thank you for the help, I think I’m going to go join him.” Mettaton smiled as he finished off the last of his drink. “You two lovely's, enjoy yourselves~” 

At his words the young monsters beamed and jumped around in excitement, but before they could speak he turned to Toriel,  “And Toriel, dear, if you see- Papyrus’ brother, do keep an eye on him, please.”  _ Oh Sans, what did you do? Or- what does he think you are planning on doing? _

But before she could ask anything about the request, Mettaton said “Enjoy the party, my Darling Guests!” and with a parting wave he was absorbed by the mass of jumping bodies. It was terrifying as it was amazing, at least in Toriel’s opinion. To just allow oneself to get swept into the mob of semi-drunk beings without a care was not something she would ever be capable of. 

Bratty and Catty squealed in delight. “That was so totally awesome! Well, we’re gonna get back to dancing-”, Bratty began. 

“You should like so join us! It’ll be super cool!”, Catty interrupted. That delighted sparkle back in her one visible eye. 

Toriel took another look at the gyrating horde of limbs and bodies and politely declined. It didn’t seem to bother either of them in the slightest as they waved their goodbyes and tried merge back into the mob. Toriel just let out a deep breath, she might still look fairly young, but she couldn’t keep up with them these days. Perhaps she was just too old fashioned, but in her mind dancing meant having a single partner and an song with a discernible eight count.

Maybe she was just too wound up? Another drink might help her feel less like an outsider. 

Drunkenness had never been a concern of hers. Given her size and her soul’s magical capacity, she could hold her monster-liquor rather well, so having another drink would merely feel calming.  She was in no danger of becoming too inebriated, as long as she watched her portion control… Sans on the other hand was a rather different story. 

As Toriel turned, seeking out the bar and hopefully a cocktail, she noticed her friend already there. For the most part the bar wasn’t too busy so there were quite a few empty seats and anyone who wanted to order something quick were waiting on the side nearest the dance floor. Sans sat at the opposite end, and with the two upturned shot glasses at his elbow she feared that he was likely much drunker than he looked. 

She made her way through the crowd as best she could, wanting to surprise her pun-pal, but Sans noticed her before she got close enough to call out to him. Upon making eye contact with her, he smiled and sent her a little two-fingered wave. But as she approached Toriel watched his eye-lights flick down the length of her before snapping back to her face. It made her soul shiver a little.

It wasn’t the first time he’d done that and part of her hoped it wouldn’t be the last. It made her feel silly just thinking about it, but just because she wasn’t young anymore didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate the dress. It was rather pretty and very flattering on an old goat-monster like herself. Being told she was pretty made her uncomfortable, but being noticed made her feel flattered. It was hard to explain the distinction, even to herself, but she knew this was one of those times. 

The flattery might also have to do with the skeleton-monster himself, for she had noticed he generally lumped everyone he met into one category. Undyne had called it being ‘one of the guys’, but it felt like form of distancing on Sans’ part. Like he didn’t want to get close to anyone, even the people he considered to be friends. So when Sans  _ noticed _ her, when he went out of his way to do things for her, like clean her kitchen and get her flowers on Mother’s Day _ , even if I have never gotten a straight answer about that _ , it made her feel less like ‘one of the guys’ and more like he valued their friendship. It was like they shared a tangible bond… 

Or she just might be making a mountain out of a molehill. She’d always had that problem, reading in between lines that didn’t exist. Toriel didn’t sigh, at least not out loud. 

“heya, tori.” Sans nodded to her as his voice carried over the noise. Even now it still didn’t sound like a shout or a yell, Sans seemed to be incapable of raising his voice. 

“And a hello to yourself.”, Toriel smiled as she joined him at the bar and took a seat on a sturdy-looking bar stool. Then she finally notice the drink sitting in front of him. “And what on Earth is in that shot glass?” 

It was full of a mostly clear liquid, but something tan-ish curled and floated around the top of the glass, but what really disturbed her was the red syrup that dripped down from the tan layer into the clear layer. 

“oh, this”, Sans began with a smirk, picking up the glass to show her it more clearly. More of the red syrup seeped down into the bottom of the glass. It looked revolting. “it’s called a brain hemorrhage.” 

“ **Delightful.** ”, Toriel commented, but before she could move his hand way, he made eye-contact and held it while he knocked back the drink. 

He plunked the emptied shot glass back onto the bar and lined it up with the others. He hadn’t flinched or coughed as he drank the cocktail, but he did winced. “look’s cool, but it definitely goes down like curdled cream. i don’t think i can recommend it.” Sans explained coolly, all phony professionalism, like a fake connoisseur.

“Noted.” was all Toriel could manage, before Sans’ fake serious-face got to her and they both started snickering. After a moment or two she managed to catch her breath, “Honestly, why would you ever drink something called a ‘brain hemorrhage’ and why would you think  _ I _ would?” 

Sans’ snorting laughter made her smile. “i don’t think you would, ever. but i’m playin’ guinea pig for grillbz. he’s got this list of halloween themed drinks and he’s fixin’ me the ones he’s never made before, just to get some feedback.” Sans explained. 

Toriel raised a brow at him, “Do you think that is wise? Having so many different kinds of drinks all at once?” He was just so small, Toriel was quite afraid he was going to pass out on her at the rate he appeared to be going. 

“sure.”, he said with a laugh. “s’not like i’ve got a stomach for them to mix in and i’ve got a pretty high tolerance for booze, so it shouldn’t be an issue.” At Toriel’s skeptical look, Sans mocked one of indignation. “you don’t think i can hold my liquor, do you? t, i’m hurt.” 

“Do not take this personally, but Sans, I think you may already be drunk.” Toriel patted his arm sympathetically. It would explain why Mettaton wanted her to keep an eye on him, but Sans just shook his head.

At that moment Grillby made his way back towards them. “hey, grillbz. would you please inform tori that i am not drunk... yet.” 

“.………….. Hello, Lady Toriel.………….. You look lovely this evening.”, Grillby crackled warmly. She expected his presences to make the whole area feel warmer, but his control must have gotten better over the years for she hadn’t notice a temperature difference. 

“And good evening to you as well, Grillby. How have you been?”, Toriel ignored Sans’ eye roll and choose to make polite conversation instead. 

Grillby collected the dirty glasses from in front of her friend, while he spoke, “.………….. I am doing quite well.………….. My new bar has been quite a success here on the Surface.………….. Is there something I can make for you?”

“That is wonderful to hear! I am glad to know business is booming. As for a drink… I do not know, what do you recommend?” Toriel tried not to laugh as Sans let his head klunk to the bar. He resembled a pouting child to the ‘T’. 

“Do the third one from the bottom.” said Sans, his voice didn’t sound the least bit muffled. 

Grillby looked at something behind the bar and crackled softly. Toriel felt as if she missed a cue, but whatever he had implied with his non-verbal statement made Sans lift his head. “hey, i have good ideas all the time. and as for the brain hem, a+ on the presentations, but it’s not gonna be for somebody with a weak stomach. and peach schnapps? really?”

Grillby didn’t appear to have a mouth, but Toriel could feel the smile all the same. Sans snorted. “seriously, just trust me, okay?” 

Grillby plucked up two martini glass and started fixing them both a drink. Nobody spoke while they watched him line the rim of the glasses with chocolate cookie crumbs or while he shook the shaker. But Toriel couldn’t help the little gasp of surprise as he poured the cocktail into their glasses. The dark reddish black liquid chilled the glass the moment it touch it, she hadn’t expected the drink to be so darkly colored. 

“.………….. The witch’s hat.………….. And Lady Toriel, Sans isn’t drunk.” Grillby replied as he slide the drinks towards them. He then made his way back down the bar towards the crowd that had reformed in his absence.

Toriel wasn’t sure if her smile was from the drink’s pun or from the little “ha” that escaped from Sans at Grillby’s admission, but she was certainly enjoying herself. She still wanted to dispute Grillby’s claim, but Sans’ reactions and mannerisms did not seem to be impaired. Perhaps Mettaton had had another reason for wanting her to watch Sans? 

She lifted her glass still lost in thought, but was suddenly pulled from them by the drink’s taste. It was like sour cherries and dark chocolate, but it didn’t have the kick she was expecting. “Wow. This is wonderful.” Toriel commented as she turned towards Sans to see what he thought. 

He’d been watching her, waiting to see if he’s recommendation and been a good one. The smirk of satisfaction that pulled at his perma-grin made his eye-light glow a little brighter.  _ How much of his expression am I missing when all the lights are on? _

“you ought tell grillby, he likes hearin’ stuff like that.”, Sans hummed as he took a sip of his own drink. 

“When he returns I certainly shall.” Toriel smiled down at the skeleton-monster next to her. She felt like there was more that she wanted to say, but none of it seemed to be coming to mind. And as the silence between them stretched, Toriel realized Sans was having the same problem. 

Several sips of their drinks later, Sans found his words first. “...he’s right, ya’ know.” 

“Hmm?”, Toriel encouraged, her glass resting against her lips. She was pleased to find that it did not have lipstick smears when she pulled it away. 

“grillby. he’s right, you really do look amazing.”, Sans said to her reflection in the mirror lining the back wall of the bar. When their eyes met in the reflection, Toriel’s soul danced to a rhyme that was far too fast. She couldn’t bring herself to look away, there was just something so much more- intimate about watching each other in a reflection. His eye-lights felt so intense, so focused on her… it made her magic spark hotly deep in her soul. No one had looked at her, really  **looked** at her, like this in so long, that it made it feel important and a little nervous.  _ I am doing it again, I am just blowing this out of proportion. _

Toriel forced herself to break eye contact with his reflection to look down at the monster next to her. “Thank you, Sans.” Then as a distraction from the magic flaring in her soul, she went on, “I have been informed of this all through the night. Just moments ago Catty told me that I looked ‘mega-ultra hot’.” Toriel smiled at the girl’s interesting phrasing. 

Sans smiled back, that intensity from before was gone. “well, ya’ are pretty  **hot** , tori.” Sans replied causally. 

Toriel almost choked on her drink. Of everything she had expected him to say, that had not been it. At her almost bewildered expression, Sans just grinned. It was not at all what she had been anticipating, maybe a sly comment or a joke! But for Sans to suddenly saying something so- so forward after the  _ moment _ they just shared, she didn’t know how to respond. Part of her felt all tingling and warm and another part of her felt incredible flustered, mostly about the gushy tingling part of herself. And somewhere in the very back of her mind, she felt like she missed the joke. “I-” 

“yeah, and if we start talkin’ about how awesome your kid is, you’ll be  **smokin’** too.” This time Sans winked with his words. 

And finally,  **finally** , the pun clicked.

 

_ Hot. Smoking. Fire magic. _

 

She felt ridiculous, of course he had been making a joke. He’d have never said something like that if it weren’t for a clever joke or pun. 

 

_...Right? _

 

“Well, damn. Why did I not think of that one?”, Toriel exclaimed on a half laugh. Her relief hadn’t quite managed to wash out her sudden nervousness or the wave of disappointment that had replaced the tingles. 

Toriel felt a little bit of gleefully revenge warm her smile, as Sans almost choked on his own drink. “oh my god, tori. you can’t just start cursing without warning a guy.” He laughed. 

“Of course I can.” She answered primly. “There are not any corruptible youths present so I can say whatever the hell I want and as you might say, it is ‘fan-fucking-tastic’.” She smirked.

Sans had to put his head down on the bar while his giggles shook him. Toriel felt immensely proud of herself, she absolutely loved reducing Sans to a pile of laughing bones. It was almost like a competition between the two of them, who could reduce the other into a gasping heap of laughter first got a point. Sans was almost always in the lead, so she had to cherish any of the points she collected. 

“heh, heh, heh. t-tori you’re unbelievable. heh.” Sans continued to snicker as he raised his head. If she had been a little closer or if the room had been a little quieter she probably would be able to hear his bones rattling still. 

“Oh, is that so? What about me  **cursing** is so unbelievable to you?” Toriel replied with a smile and an invitation. 

Sans felt the trap, his eye-orbits narrowed slightly and he phrased his next sentence carefully, but she could see the challenge in his eye-lights. “i- just think that you aren’t new at it,  **witch** just creates a lot more questions than answers.” 

Toriel grinned into her glass while he spoke, she’d wondered how he’d get another pun in there. “And what makes you think that I am not new at this?” 

Sans smirked and sarcastically began, “well i don’t want ta’  **spell** it out for ya’, but the hat’s kinda a dead giveaway.” At her laugh he went on, not waiting for her to recover, “and i don’t wanna  **jinx** myself, but i think i know how to spot an  **enchanting** person when i see ‘em.” 

Toriel covered her snout with her hands has she tried to contain her laughter. Sans just beamed at her and took another sip from his drink, while he oh so graciously waited for her to recover. As she started to get her breath back she managed, “hee, hee. Y-you have been sitting on those all night have you not?” Sans just nodded. His smile was enormous. “But, more seriously, how do you know that I am- hmm, let us say, accustom to cursing?” 

“you don’t do that whisper-thing, or act all embarrassed when you swear. plus you aren’t checkin’ over your shoulder to see if anyone can hear you. they’re all telltale signs of someone who doesn’t care if their overheard.” Sans explained easily. “so it means you’ve been doing it for awhile and- heh, all i can imagine is you as l-like a rebellious teenager, all s-studs and black leather w-with you’re fur dyed a b-bunch of colors, heh heh.” He devolved into snickers again. 

Toriel smiled at the mental image herself, she had never been quite that extreme… although in her time she might have been. “I do not think I ever dyed my fur, but I certainly wore pants and picked fights with the boys in my village.” 

Sans blinked at her. “right, right. time difference… ya’ know i think that’s the first time i’ve ever heard you talk about the people you used ta’ know. on the surface, i mean.” 

“Ah, well. It was such a very long time ago, and I think I would much rather live in the present.” Toriel hummed thoughtfully. She didn’t really want to walk down memory lane, her early life had been filled with so much war and bloodshed, that it was hard to find any memory worth recounting. “And how about you? Any rebellious teenage years I ought to know about?” 

Sans snorted and easily shifted topics. “pfft. tori i was  **all** teenage angst. i mean, with the orphanage thing and sort of growing up too fast, then my problem with authority figures and having to deal with getting taken back in, all crammed into a moody teen with a pretty gnarly medical condition… i was the biggest pain in the ass i could be. on purpose.” 

“Oh, goodness!”, Toriel exclaimed as she covered her mouth and her giggle. It shocked her a little to hear Sans speak of himself, but something about his words pulled at her heart. The way he just brushed off all of the his hardships like what had happened didn’t matter, it hurt her to know that he’d suffer so much at such a young age. However, he seemed to want to keep it light, so she wouldn’t force him to open old wounds. “It sounds like you were quite the mischief-maker.” 

“ _ were _ ? tori i still am. i got older, but i sure as hell didn’t grow up. but yeah, i really was. heh- i know you’re probably not gonna find this as funny as i do, but i was the bane of my teachers’ existences. heh!”, Sans laughed at some mental image his words had called to mind. 

Toriel just shook her head, but she couldn’t manage to fight the smile on her lips. “Shame on you, giving your poor teachers a hard time. They were only trying to do their jobs… but if I remember correctly, you were not fond of high school, yes?” 

Sans made this choking sound. “eck! god, no. it was hideous. look, i know you didn’t really do the high school thing, but trust me when i say, it’s awful.” 

“Are you certain? I have heard lots of mixed reviews about the experience, was there truly nothing you found enjoyable?”, Toriel asked curiously. If Sans wasn’t going to change the subject, she wasn’t. It was quite wonderful to finally hear about her friend’s life, perhaps the alcohol might be having a relaxing effect on him as well.  

“eh, for me? no. high school was just so incredibly boring, at least that’s how i always felt. the year that i was trapped there sucked.” Sans reaffirmed.  He took a longer sip of his nearly empty martini glass. 

“A year? My friend, I thought high school was a four year affair?”, she questioned. 

Sans grimaced a bit, “uh, i mean, yeah… but tori, i- um, i tested out of high school.” And even as he spoke she could start to see the embarrassment on his face. Just a hint of blue dusted his cheekbones. 

“Of course, yes. That makes perfect sense, I do not know why I cannot seem to remember that you are younger than I seem to think you are…” Toriel trailed off. She hadn’t meant to fluster him, well not quite like this. But it really did make a lot of sense given his obviously accelerated education, he must have skipped something along the way. 

Sans couldn’t seem to make eye contact with her, so he toyed with his empty glass instead. “heh. yeah, don’t worry about. sometimes i forget that i hopscotched through my academic career pretty quick, too.” 

She could feel the awkward silence start brewing, and instead of letting it get worse she just cut through it.  _ If I do not acknowledge it then it will not matter… _ “-So, when did you graduate? I believe if I have a few more dates to go with the facts than I ought to be able to keep everything straight.” She tried for levity, but it felt a little flat. She wasn’t sure why this was bothering her so much, since when had his age ever mattered to her? Since when did it matter to him? 

“uh- sure, right. which time?”, Sans questioned back. He was failing as much as she was to try and not make this feel odder than it already was. 

“All?”, Toriel pressed curiously. Yes, he had told her that he had two doctorates, so he must have gone through school several times. 

Sans still wasn’t looking at her, he kept futzing with his glass. Then he stopped. It was like, he suddenly realized he was playing with it. He gingerly returned the glass to the counter and looked up at her. “right. so i got my bachelor’s when i was sixteen- no it was right after i’d just turned seventeen. then i, i double majored and graduated a month after i turned twenty. and then i was a hot shot at the lab for just about two years and… that’s it.” 

“You double majored in graduate school?”, she asked incredulously. She knew that college was no easy feat, but the STEM programs were reportedly more difficult. 

“yep.”, Sans popped the ‘p’. A bit of a real smile tugged at his jaw. 

Toriel smiled back, but didn’t stop her questioning, “In what? I do not think you ever told me what it is you do- did, exactly.” She turned more on her stool trying to face him more fully. 

“welp, i’m a- a theoretical quantum meta-physicist. it’s a mouthful, i know.” Sans started with a shrug and a bit more of a blush as he said his title, “and i’ve never really talked about what i used ta’ do ‘cause it’s very boring unless you like temporal quantum mechanics.” Then as an afterthought he added,  “...and very classified.” 

Toriel raised her brows at that. “Classified? What do you mean by that?” She and Asgore had sealed numerous rituals and spell books back in the beginning, but it had been for safety reasons.  _ The monsters who would have used them were long dead, anyways _ . But she did not think Asgore would do such a thing to someone’s academic discoveries. 

“i mean you gotta take it up with fluffybuns. i’m not supposed to talk about the main project i worked on… a lot of what we were doing was sort of a magical grey area, so he didn’t want anyone to just go nosing around our work, ya’ know?” Sans explained. “ **not** that you are just anyone, but… i can talk about some of my side projects, though.” He continued in a rush. 

Toriel patted his phalanges resting on the wooden bar. “It is quite alright, Sans. I understand. If I thought it necessary then I might press, but I know how much your word means to you so I shan’t make you break it.” His bones felt cool to the touch, it was a reassuring feeling. 

“what am i, a barrayaran?”, Sans snorted, but he made no move to pull away from her. Toriel grinned with him, she could tell he wanted to say more, but a gentle cough got their attention. 

“.………….. And how are both of you fairing?”, crackled a rather amused sounding Grillby. 

She and Sans flinched. Toriel had to turn quite farther back to face the flame elemental than she remembered turning away. It forced her to let go of Sans’ hand. 

“ _ peachy _ .” grumbled Sans, who was avoiding the barkeeper’s gaze rather adamantly. His adorable blush was back, but this time Toriel was unsure of the reason. 

“Quite lovely, Grillby. This,”, Toriel answered with a smile and a light touch to her,  _ Empty? _ glass, “-was wonderful. If it is not too much to ask, might I trouble you for another one?” 

Grillby plucked both of the martini glasses off the bar and warmly implied a smile. “.………….. Gladly.” 

Toriel smiled back and watched Grillby work his own kind of ‘magic’. No one spoke for several long moments, once Grillby had begun adding shots to his shaker, Sans broke the silence, “so… anymore drinks on that list ya’ want me to try?” 

Grillby peered down at the sheet just out of her line of sight, and crackled something. Sans rolled his eye-lights, but his smile was genuine. “sure, grillbz. whatever you say.” 

Toriel thought about asking what had transpired between the two, but she realized that if they had wanted to share they would have. She remembered what that had been like, the silent camaraderie between friends, it was not something she had experience in a very long time… Or it hadn’t been, until she had met Sans. He was and had always been quite the character and no matter the situation he always brought out the best in people, even if he was at his worst. 

It hadn’t really surprised her to find out how popular he was, once they met. All of the trips she had made from Snowdin to the Ruin and back, had let her see quite a lot of the Skelebros, as Frisk would say, and how important they were to their community. It had been just adorable watching the two of them argue only to end up agreeing on accident, or the way they would just happen to show up at the right place or time to lend a helping hand. Even if Sans always claimed it looked like too much work, he’d still help his fellow monsters rally their spirits, help them feel hope and make their fears of the Surface far less scary. 

“.………….. And here you are, Lady Toriel.”, the fire elemental rasped warmly. His amorphous digits slid the new glass towards her across the bar top. 

“Oh, yes. Thank you, my old friend.”, Toriel replied as she was pulled from her reverie. 

That had grabbed Sans’ attention. “old friend? i didn’t know you two knew each other.” Sans inquired, with just the slightest of head tilts, as if he hadn’t quite heard her correctly. Her soul made the most ridiculous fluttering motion, and it left her stomach with a quite useless tingly feeling. She ought to drink this one a bit more slowly this time, the- alcohol must just be getting to her. 

Toriel cleared her throat a little before speaking, “Um, yes. Grillby and I have know of each other for a many number of years…” She didn’t want to say something that Grillby himself had been unwilling to share. 

It didn’t look like Sans had understood what she meant, then it suddenly clicked. She watched the realization widen his eye-sockets, minorly. For only being made of bone and magic, he had quite the expressive face. “oh. duh, you guys must have known each other from before.” He added a minor hand wave with his words, implying all that had happened  **before** . 

So Grillby must have talked about his past with Sans at some point,  _ Did he mention his military career? _ Toriel’s gaze flicked to the monster in front of her, she wanted to get a read on him. Sans seemed ready to drop the subject, but Toriel wasn’t sure if it was because he thought she didn’t want to talk about or if Grillby didn’t. 

Except Grillby’s expression wasn’t what grabbed her attention, his actions had. “What on earth are you making?”, Toriel suddenly questioned. 

Sans snickered at her appalled face and Grillby seemed to imply another smile with the fire that took the form of his face, but he didn’t stop adding ketchup to the glass. 

“heh, it’s called a bloody mark and it’s kinda a long standing joke between us.”, Sans explained when Grillby hadn’t answered her. Sans leaned onto the bar, letting his arms cross as he watched the fire elemental continued to make this absurd drink. 

Toriel waited expectantly for another moment, before Sans caught on, and continued to explain, “right. so, awhile ago in a moment of true drunken idiocy i bet grillbz that he couldn’t make an alcoholic drink with ketchup. so to prove me wrong, this smart-ass just made a bloody mary with ketchup and now not only is it my favorite drink but i also lost the bet.” 

Toriel covered her snout with her paws, to muffle her laughter.  _ My Goodness! That sounds exactly like something Sans would do! _ At her laughter Sans grinned back, “i know, not my finest hour.” 

“.………….. Yes and since then you have had to pay your tab twice a month instead of at the end of the month.” Grillby rumbled as he added the ice to the concoction in front of him. 

“which i do, like clockwork.” Sans added with a nodded. The bartender stuck a large home-style french fry into the drink and slid it towards the grinning skeleton-monster. 

Toriel just shook her head in amazement as Sans sipped his drink. Leave it to Sans to find a way to make anything with ketchup. Toriel was about to ask Sans about his fascination with the tomato based substance,  _ This time I might actually get a straight answer out of him… _ , when a deep voice behind them spoke. “Good evening, Grillby, Sans, Toriel.” 

She could practically hear the slight head bow at each of their names, it was just such an Asgore thing to do. “hey, asgore. come join us.” Sans said much to Toriel’s surprise, he even went out of his way to pat the empty bar stool next to him. 

She saw that Grillby had noticed the odd behavior too, but he didn’t seem to be addressing it. It wasn’t as if it was totally abnormal for Sans to invite someone to join a group, but it just didn’t feel like a conversation they ought to drag Asgore into. Or it could just be that she didn’t want to have Asgore interrupt-

 

_ Interrupt what? Sans and I were just- talking... _

 

But Toriel smiled politely all the same as her ex came to join them. “Why, thank you. I had actually wanted to ask you someth-” Asgore started to say, while he carefully seated himself at the bar, but something interrupted him. 

 

*PFFFFFFFRRRRRRRVVTTTTT* 

 

It was unmistakably the sound of a whoopie cushion. And if Sans’ sudden outburst of nearly hysterical giggles, rather than surprise like the rest of them, wasn't enough of a clue, he also buried his head into his folded arms. His laughter was making his bones rattle, audibly. Toriel turned to apologize to Asgore and had several choice words for her inappropriately chortling friend when she caught a look at the former king’s face. 

The genuine bewilderment, eyes still wide with shock and true surprise pulling his mouth into a perfect ‘o’, was too much. 

Toriel tried to hold it in. 

Really, she did. 

But when a monster Asgore’s size and temperament  **choose** to wear a very bad dracula costume with a cape several sizes too small  _ and  _ wore an expression like that. Toriel just couldn’t handle it. 

Her laugh escaped her suddenly without warning and before she could stop herself she was roaring with it. In her sudden overwhelming glee, a rather loud and embarrassing bleat cut off her snickering. She clapped her paws around her snout lest another sound like that escape her in polite company. Sans tried to lift his head but at her bleat, his laughter almost redoubled and he was becoming dangerously close to falling off his stool. 

Toriel took several long seconds to contain her unbridled amusement, as she did Asgore started to recover as well. And Grillby- well, he seemed entirely unfazed. Toriel was desperately trying to figure out how she should apologize for laughing in Asgore’s face- well, for laughing  **at** Asgore’s face, when Sans did something rather odd. He freed one of his arms and whilst giggling he propped it up on the bar and held his semi-curled phalanges out to Grillby. 

This gesture obviously meant something to the fire-elemental who crackled- disapprovingly, maybe? Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bill, with a sigh and a bit of a smoke hiss he handed the money to Sans. The bill rapidly disappeared from view as Sans continued to snicker. He was slowly starting to calm down, however.

 

_ A bet? Had Sans really done this for a bet?   _

 

_. . .Does that really surprise me? _

 

Eventually, her friend’s rattling laughter petered out and he lifted his head. Sans had to wipe the tears from his eyes before the fell, his grin was enormous. When he glanced her way she sent him a disapproving look and instead of looking rightfully guilty he- he winked at her. It had been a sly gesture one Asgore wouldn't have seen, but Toriel swore she could feel Grillby roll his non-existent eyes. Sans then turned away from her to face his ‘victim' more fully.

“no- heh, heh heh.” Sans started to say to Asgore before a minor fit of giggles grabbed him. He took a deep fake breath and made a throat clearing sound before he started up again. “sorry- no offense, asgore. it was just a long standin’ bet between me and grillbz.” 

Asgore in his ever patient fashion replied curiously, “To pull a, as the kids would say, ‘joke on me’?” 

Toriel wanted to correct him, but Sans beat her to it, “a prank. and nah, it wasn't about you it was about the gag itself.” 

“I am afraid I do not quite understand what you are referring to.”, Asgore expressed gently. 

 

_ At least I am not the only one… _

 

“a hell’va long time ago grillby told me I couldn't keep pulling the same prank over and over ‘cause everyone in the bar already knew it. i told ‘im i could and the rest has been a rather nice income for me.” Sans smirked at Grillby, who crackled darkly back. 

It only made Sans look more smug. 

“But, Sans this is not at Grillby’s bar. Is your bet still valid?” Toriel finally asked. His ridiculous attitude was driving her crazy and she wanted to see if she could throw him off. Sometime he could just be so- so arrogant! And all it made her want to do was stick her foot out in front of him. Was it childish? Yes, but Sans always made her feel like she had to  **stoop** to his level.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work. 

“sure it is. grillby,” Sans began as he turned his attention back to the fire elemental, “you’re working at this bar, so that makes it…” 

“.………….. My bar.”, he confirmed. He seemed exasperated with Sans, but not truly upset. Toriel could relate. 

“but,” Sans went on, “that also means that grillby’s rules apply. so, i didn’t mean to upset ya’ asgore and if i did i’m sorry.” Toriel couldn’t see his face, but his words rang sincere to her well trained ear. After all this time, she believed she new his voice better than her own. 

“Oh, certainly not. Surprised and confused, yes, but not upset. And I suppose on this holiday, ‘tricks’ must be expected.”, Asgore said kindly. At Toriel’s distance she almost hadn’t heard him, he was so soft spoken. 

“heh. guess so, big guy. and on that note, i think i may’ve derailed ya’. you’d probably come over here for a reason.” Sans reminded Asgore, before turning back to his drink. 

Toriel wasn’t sure if she wanted to drop it quite yet, but Sans seemed to have climbed down off his high horse all on his own. A rare trait to find in someone who could be a real jackass when he wanted to be… 

“I- Yes, that is correct, thank you for reminding me.” Asgore said with a slight nod, Sans raised his glass a bit in acknowledgement. “Grillby, my old friend, might I trouble you for a glass of water in- well, a heat resistant glass?”  

Toriel’s breath escaped as a laugh. “You brought tea with you.”, she stated more to herself than the others, but Sans had turned in her direction when he heard her start to speak. 

He blinked once, then turned back to Asgore, “not drinking tonight, i take it?” 

“I am afraid not. I drove myself so I do not think it wise. Besides I have never really had the stomach for alcohol.” The former king admitted bashfully, but as he spoke he made eye contact with her.

She could remember all of the times they had shared a bottle of spirits and after a glass or two, his majesty would be fast asleep. Toriel never did understand why he was just so susceptible to alcohol, but his glance told her he remembered all of those nights as well. She didn’t say anything though, she just had another sip of her-  _ Since when was this half empty _ \- drink. 

While they had been talking Grillby had donned thick rubber gloves, selected a sturdy pint glass and filled it with water. After he had placed the glass down in front of Asgore he removed the gloves. He seemed to be decidedly ignoring Asgore’s sudden and very blatant apologetic look, he mustn’t have remembered the dangers water could pose to a fire-elemental. 

“Grillby I am so-”, Asgore started to say, but Sans placed a hand on Asgore’s arm. 

“you should probably heat that cup from the bottom, so it heats evenly and won’t break… let convection work in your favor and all that.” Sans interrupted, and with the smallest of head shakes told Asgore not to apologize for it. Grillby continued to  _ not _ notice what had transpired while he cleaned up his work station, but Toriel could feel the gratitude he felt for Sans warming the air. He didn’t wander back down the bar though, no one had started lining up at the other end again.

“R-right. Yes, of course.” Asgore nodded and pulled a pre-made set of tea balls from his inventory. 

Sans sat back and shot Toriel a sideways glance. The look clearly said, ‘he can’t be for real.’ Toriel smiled a little and sipped her drink.  _ I am afraid he is. _

An interesting bemused look flashed across the plane of his skeletal face, but he seemed to believe her. Sans waited until Asgore had started brewing his tea before he spoke again, “so… since i’ve got you here- actually, since i’ve got both of you here,” Sans glanced her away before continuing, “i wanted to ask you about somethin’, er- well i wanted ta’ be nosy about something…” 

“Certainly Sans, I will gladly answer a question. And what is it that you would like to know about?”, Asgore answered genially. He always loved to help, even if he didn’t really know how to. She’d always been the one to end up bailing him out, if her memory was serving her correctly. Maybe that is why Sans waited to ask, until both of them were there? 

“how’s dealing with the horde of hematophagites going? are you guys makin’ any more progress?”, Sans inquired curiously, albeit slightly embarrassed for, what Toriel could only assume was that he believed himself to be prying. Although, she hadn’t a clue what he just asked. 

“Excuse me? Hemato-what?”, Toriel questioned. Asgore seemed to be just as lost as she was. 

“hematophagites, ya’ know buggers that drink blood.” Sans said as if that explained everything. At her utterly blank look, he went on, “politicians… ‘cause politics, poly means ‘many’ and ticks are blood sucking arachnids… so politics ‘many blood sucking creatures’…” Sans started to slow down and eventually trailed off. Her face must have looked completely baffled, to get a reaction like that from him. “nevermind. how’s the government stuff?” He finally just huffed into his drink. 

Now, she, Asgore and Grillby shared a look. Sans glowered into his drink. Sometimes it was truly fascinating to understand how Sans thought and then moments like this happened and Toriel briefly considered how terrify it must be. To have one’s thoughts fire so rapidly from one thing to the next, it must be a nightmare trying to talk to others. Especially, after a few drinks… 

Asgore managed to clear his throat and speak first, “I- We, have been doing quite well actually. I know it seems that things are not changing, but we  _ are  _ make progress.” He smiled reassuringly at Sans, who’d briefly glance his way. 

Toriel wished Asgore hadn’t lied. They weren’t making progress, at least not at any meaningful rate, but now she would have to back him. She couldn’t let their image appear divided… even if Sans was the only person she dared to speak openly with. But somehow Asgore had managed to take that away from her too…  _ That all he does. Take things away from m-  _

 

_ Stop!  _

 

_ That is not fair, not to Asgore and not to me… I cannot, must not use him as a- a target for my unhappiness- _

 

Sans snorted and took another sip of his drink. “asgore, you gotta get a better poker face.” 

And just like that her momentary irritation was made invalid. She should not be acting so rashly, it was just- irresponsible. “Asgore is not entirely wrong. It is just that… progress is not occurring as quickly as we had originally hoped.” Toriel explained on a sigh. Sans glanced her way and so did Asgore. Her ex did not look entirely pleased by her admission. 

It made her happy.

...which was childish. 

“figures, anybody who invents a thing like a filibuster must be notorious for dragging their political feet.” Sans commiserated easily. Sharing woes was an effortless process when seated at a bar.  

This time Asgore sighed. “As much as I wish it was, it is not quite that simple. You see, they are not ‘dragging their political feet’ per say. The issue lies in the way they are presenting their ‘compromises’.” Toriel could see the annoyance wrinkling his muzzle as he thought about their latest political ‘trial’ as Frisk liked to call them.  

“They are making demand and calling them compromises and then telling us that it is the ‘best they can do’. It is obvious, offensive and obnoxious.” Toriel hissed. Just thinking about what that idiot politician had said to her was making her magic boil.  _ How dare he imply that I am unfit to be Frisk’s guardian!? He, a small-minded bigot without children of his own! _

Sans’ cool phalanges curled around her paw. The barest whispers of magic seeped into her too hot skin. Soothing and understanding, but not placating. He felt as though her anger was justified, without even knowing what had set her off; Sans trusted her and her opinion. She let out a long slow breath, it didn’t do her any good to be irate now. She was at a party with her closest friends, that was what should matter. 

Sans searched her face for another moment before inquiring seriously, “what’d they ask you to do?”

“We have managed to secure a month long conference at the start of the new year. We will be traveling to the nation’s capitol and continuing our discussion from last year, but… they demanded that we have the ambassador present for every discussion.” Toriel explained. 

“wait, but doesn’t the kid, have school and stuff in january?”, Sans carried on, hitting the main problem on the head with one swing. 

Asgore coughed gently, trying to unobtrusively inject himself back into the conversation. “Yes, Frisk’s term starts back up on the second. Hence the problem, either we risk invalidating our talks or-” 

“We risk appearing as irresponsible parents.” Toriel finished easily. The decades she and Asgore ruled together allowed them to fall into old habits so easily. She glanced his way and realized he was not focused on her, but on her paws… the paw Sans was holding. 

Something that felt incredible similar to guilt shot through her soul and before she could stop herself, she pulled her hand away from Sans. The regret was immediate, although Sans didn’t seem to notice her withdrawal. He appeared to be lost in thought, but it didn’t stop her soul from twinging nastily. 

The centuries of loyalty were something she had thought she had shed herself of, but it appeared to still cling to her like an unexpected cobweb; uncomfortable and disconcerting when she accidentally walked into it. Looking back on it, even in her exile she had remained loyal to her first love, never so much as considered a life with another. It made her feel a little sick to realize how much it still meant to her, how much her old vows still influenced her life.

Toriel wanted to put her hand back on Sans’, as an act of defiance. She could live her life the way she wanted. She could be friends with whoever she wanted. This wasn’t any of Asgore’s business and their past shouldn’t be hindering her future-

“but aren’t you going with ‘em, tori? i mean couldn’t you be like, mom, queen, and teacher? heh, kinda like now.” Sans’ words snapped her out of her thoughts and back into the conversation. She tried not to let her sudden discomfort show on her face. Maybe Sans was intoxicated enough not to notice?

“That was exactly my thought. In fact, I have recently gone through the application process to be a ‘homeschool’ teacher, just to make sure that they cannot claim- hmm, inappropriate documentation… again.” Toriel answered with a little vindictive smile. Sans studied her for a second longer than necessary,  _ Not drunk enough _ , but he let it go. 

“welp, it sounds like you guys’ve got this all figured out…” Sans said with a smile as his eye-lights flashed between the boss-monsters. But as he lifted his glass to his teeth, she could see the smile falter and he went on, “god, january’s gonna be quiet.”

Toriel could see the remorse creep into his face, but he pushed it away with a smile and a sip from his drink. He was going to miss her and Frisk, she had known that a lot of them would, but it still pulled at her soul. “A bit, maybe. But I am certain Undyne, Alphys, and Papyrus will be able keep you entertained.” She elbowed him slightly, trying to help him feel the smile not just wear it. 

He sent her a curious sideways glance, “aren’t you takin’ them with you? undyne and alphys, i mean.” 

“No, not to my knowledge. I do not believe we had planned for anyone else to accompany us on this trip.” Asgore denied easily, as he finished stirring the honey he had brought into his tea. “Had you been planning to invite anyone else, Toriel?” 

“No, I had not.” Toriel shook her head, before turning her attention back to Sans. He looked slightly confused. “Sans, why do you think we would be taking them with us?” Toriel questioned.

After a moment's hesitation, Sans said, “... i thought you two were gonna do the whole king n’ queen bit. ya’ know, royal guard, academic advisors, tailored suits and skirts and stuff.” 

“Why would we do that? Would it not feel like we were invading? We want to be peaceful and civil to show that we are willing to compromise. These talks are very important.” Asgore- explained to Sans. His tone wasn’t patronizing, Asgore never was, but it did come off a bit like he was talking down to Sans. 

“yeah, you guys wanna look like you’re willing to compromise, not like you’re lying down and ready ta’ be walked all over. i mean, last time they practically kidnapped you guys and don’cha want this time to have a different dynamic. you’re guests and dignitaries, not prisoners.” Sans snorted into his drink. 

That was something Toriel hadn’t considered. She’d been so focused on the Frisk situation she hadn’t thought about their political appearance, at all. Which was probably what they had intended by throwing the Ambassador caveat in, it had been a distraction so they would arrive understaffed and unprepared. 

Toriel very much wanted to punch something just then.  _ This is why I hate politics _ . 

Asgore seemed to feel differently however, “But would that not appear hostile? Bring troops with us into negotiations when neither party is at war?” 

“well, yeah  **that** would, but that’s why you’d only bring the guard. ta’ ya’ know,  **guard** the lives and wellbeings of the three most important political figures in the monster government. just put a couple of them on retainer or somethin’ in case of emergencies. ‘sides it would be weird if you didn’t. all the other human monarchies and political leaders have personal guards. i mean, if you guys want them to take you seriously, shouldn’t you act the way they’d expect other foreign dignitaries to act?” Sans concluded, tossing the ball back to Asgore. He even tilled this drink towards the boss-monster, like an invitation to answer his question. 

“That is absolutely right.”, Toriel interjected,“How did we let that slip by?” She didn’t wait for Asgore or Sans to answer before she continued, “But do we have time still to make these kinds of arrangements?” 

“‘course. you’ve still gotta a couple of months so people can still request time off, plus i’d be willing to bet that you could find at least one monster in this room who’d be willing ta’ help design your ‘modern royal wardrobe’. it’ll be a piece of pie.” Sans reassured with a wink. 

Toriel couldn’t help the smile that formed in response, but Asgore frowned slightly. “I am not so certain that this is a good idea. Surprising the humans with this… they have a tendency to ask questions- after.” he said, worry colored his voice and darkened his eyes. 

Persecution. 

It was what they had both been fearing. 

Waiting for the blade to fall and the witch hunts to start, for the encampments and ‘war trials’... it still kept her awake at night, sometimes. All that waiting. 

Although the friend at her elbow, perhaps one of the only true ones she had, was excellent at waiting for something to happen. Dreading it, alone in the middle of the night. Everyone had their own demons, but that didn’t mean hers, or Asgore’s, should stop them from trying to make the world a little less frightening. “Then we shan’t surprise them. We will call in advance, make the arrangements. We will be civil and polite and follow their rules, but we will not change for them. We are the best chance monsterkind has, so we should act like it.” 

Sans looked like he was trying to decide if clapping would be appropriate just then, and Asgore's eyes widened at her words. It had been a long time since she had sounded like the Queen and not like the former one. “But, Toriel.” Asgore began and for the first time Asgore actually talked  **over** Sans instead of around him. 

Toriel wasn’t the one who cut him off though. “.………….. I could not have said it better myself, Lady Toriel.” Grillby added softly. 

All eyes turned the the fire elemental, who’d been quietly listening to their conversation. “Thank you, Grillby. I am always glad to have your support.” Toriel smiled at the bartender, and she wondered if the nodded she saw had been more than just a flicker of fire. 

“You as well, my old friend?” Asgore questioned on a sigh. He hadn’t seemed to realize that he’d almost been rather rude. It was truly a wonder that he had managed to govern on his own for so long without something dreadful happening do to his carelessness… although the children and the lab were both very- dreadful.  _ I hope that there is not more tragedy lying in our past ready to harm our future. _

“.………….. Yes.………….. I believe that respect is something that needs to be earned and these beings have done nothing to deserve yours.………….. Yet, both of you and Frisk have done so much to earn their’s, it is time to make them understand that.” Grillby concluded with a series of snaps and pops. 

“wow, man. i think that’s the most i’ve ever heard you say in one go, you alright?” Sans asked, partly teasing but genuine concern filled his eye-lights. 

The strain speaking put on an elemental was something that had always worried Toriel back before the war, when they’d been placed in tactical command positions that made speaking necessary. Some of that worry came back, even as Grillby communicated something to Sans. 

“sure, grillbz.” Sans said after a moment. He glanced at both of them before he went on, “grillby wanted me to tell you guys-” and in an astonishing imitation, “ ‘.………….. we may have done terrible things, but they aren’t guiltless either and sans’ is always right.’ ” 

Grillby hissed something at the last bit which made Sans grin. “m’kay the last bit was me, by the rest is true. which i, for one, agree with. you don’t gotta be aggressive about it, just a little passive aggressive.” He smirked the last part at Toriel.

She rolled her eyes at him, but before she could speak the music cut out. Suddenly cast into the almost silence, Toriel realized that not only had she finally gotten used to the noise but also it had been incredibly loud. Words of confusion murmured through the party, but she could barely hear them over the ringing in her own ears. It hurt and it didn’t. It was a very odd almost humming that made her want to yawn, as if she could just pop her ears to make it stop. She could see a few of the other monster with more sensitive hearing, tug gently on their own furred ears. She even watched a few of the humans rub at theirs. Then there were monsters like Sans, who rubbed at their chest or hands, as if the vibrations were still rattling them. 

Before any real questioning or displeasure could be expressed the lighting swirled and danced before swing towards the stage. A spotlight sprang to life and illuminated the stage as an enormous amount of fog poured into the crowd. The fog held one figure in silhouette as it obscured them from view, but his sashay was unmistakable. 

“Hello, Darlings~”, boomed over the sound system.

The crowd erupted into hoots and cheers. Squeals and screams of ‘Mettaton’ filled the spacious apartment. Toriel winced at the sudden influx of noise, but the once dancing mob and now cheering fans made no move to stop as the fog finally started to clear enough to make out their host’s stunning face. 

In the glowing lights, the bronze paint shimmered like liquid metal and his smile literally twinkled. “I hope you are all having a spook-tactular time! But now for the best part of the evening~ ME!”, cried the dramatically posing robot. They roared even louder this time, in obvious agreement. 

Toriel couldn’t hear the disgruntled yells over the crowd, but she was certain that at least a few monsters had made them. “Darlings! I just wanted to tell you that this has been the most wondrous and fabulous evening all month! And that’s not just because I’ve invited you into my beautiful home~” carried on the pop icon as he strutted around the stage; the spotlight easily following him. 

“i wonder if al is drunk enough to sing karaoke.” Sans muttered aloud. 

Toriel was about to turn and ask what he had meant by that when she realized that Dr. Alphys was also on stage with Mettaton. His swirling motions and dispersed enough of the fog to let them see her fidgeting form, her claws appeared to be tapping against a switched-off microphone. 

“No! What make this night of All Hallows' Eve most spectacular is-” Mettaton paused for dramatic effect as he held quite an amazing pose. “Getting to share it with all of you! My glorious family, friends and fans! You Darlings, are what keeps my mechanically heart ticking and my soul thrumming!” 

This was met with even more cheering and screams of ‘we love you’ and the like. It was quite shocking to realize that the crowd had managed to be louder than the music had been. Toriel hoped Mettaton would kindly get to his point. 

“But!” cheered the robot, “I must share my spotlight with another. She was my hope and my dreams made to life. She is my dearest friend and the monster who literally made me who I am today-” Then on cue a drum roll sang through the speakers. “Doctor ALPHYS!” 

The spotlight split into two and the new beam swung over to the very terrified looking lizard-monster. She managed not to drop the microphone as she turned it on, but just barely. “H-h-hello…”, she breathed nervously into the microphone. 

Mettaton gave her two thumbs up and said, “You’ve got this my dear, knock them dead!” Before much to everyone’s surprise the pop icon switched off his own microphone and his spotlight went dead. Sans shifted at her elbow, when she glance down at him he looked decidedly uncomfortable, something about Mettaton’s action seemed to have bothered him. She watched him tense out of the corner of her eye, his phalanges locked around his glass.

“R-r-right… Um- S-so…”, Alphys began again, reclaiming Toriel’s attention. “I-I wanted t-to s-say s-something t-to everybody…” However her stage fright seemed to be getting the best of her and she stopped talking again. 

The silence stretched. Everyone held their breath waiting for her to speak.

She closed her eyes and took several shuddering deep breaths, the microphone shook a little in her scaly grasp. “T-thank you. I-I wanted t-to start b-by saying thank you, t-to all of you. I-I know I w-wasn’t the b-best or n-nicest or b-bravest head r-royal scientist, and t-that I did t-things that w-were awful, g-good intentions o-or not. B-but you all d-didn’t abandon m-me… a-and I-I know t-that this isn’t e-everyone, b-but I w-wanted to s-start somewhere…” 

However before she could continue a loud call of “YOU GOT THIS, BABE!” startled the lizard-monster and as if on cue the rest of the crowd erupted in cheers and hollers of agreement. The crowd wanted her to succeed as much as she wanted to, even from this distance Toriel could see the purple of her magic dust her scales in a deep blush. The microphone made a clattering sound as she hid her face from view, mostly out of embarrassment, while she waited for the crowd to settle down again. It took several minutes. 

“T-thank y-you…”, Alphys managed after she’d regained their attention. “B-but the r-real reason I-I wanted t-to g-get up o-on stage w-was t-to tell y-you w-why I c-can…” She took another deep breath, her exhale rasped over the microphone. “I-I w-wasn’t the kind of m-monster that w-would have been a-able to g-get up here a-and talk in f-front of a c-crowd, n-not before w-we came t-to the Surface… B-but w-when I-I left m-my lab, I f-found b-beings w-who cared about m-me. Friends a-and family a-and h-happiness. I-I was g-given a s-second chance b-by the p-people who m-matter most to me a-and they h-have given m-me hope. Hope t-to g-get back up a-again, to k-keep fighting for what I-I believe in, t-to be passionate a-about life… She n-never gave up o-on me even though I-I’d given up o-on myself. A-and b-because o-of her I’m s-standing up here t-today, t-talking on a m-mircophone to a-a bunch of b-beings d-dressed up i-in super kawaii costumes…” 

Even though Alphys had paused again, nobody moved. They could feel the tension, the change in the mood and in the meaning of her words. The hushed apartment waited with baited breath. 

“S-so… Undyne… w-will you marry m-me?”, squeaked the magenta covered lizard-monster. She’d let go of the microphone with one clawed hand and pulled a small velvet covered box from her inventory. The room was dead silent as the second spotlight flickered back to life, illuminating the most stunned fish-monster Toriel had ever seen. 

“No way…”, voiced a stunned Undyne. Her words echoed around the large room in the now heavy silence. 

It was like all of the air in the room had been sucked out, Toriel wanted to look away. She didn’t want to intrude on this suddenly very private and personal conversation. What had once been happy and elated emotions now left like lead in her soul. She could see the pain and shock leaking into every mannerism of the lizard-monster on stage. Toriel didn’t want to keep watching, but she couldn’t look away. 

But before anyone could react Undyne suddenly shouted in alarm, “I mean YES!” As she started speaking she began unceremoniously shoving the crowd out of her away as she headed for the stage. “I  **absolutely** want to MARRY YOUR BEAUTIFUL NERD FACE!!!!”  Before she had even finished speaking she had jumped up on the the stage to stand next to her lover and now fiancee. 

The crowd sighed in true relief at the avoided disaster, and she could only agree. The couple on stage kept speaking, Undyne unaided by a mic and Alphys seemed to have forgotten hers was on so the whole party could hear their conversation. “W-Why did you say n-no?”, muttered the still shocked Alphys. 

“Babe, I didn’t mean  **no** no. I meant no way she beat me to it! I was so gonna propose tonight, but like  **at** midnight and it was gonna be all that fairy-tale nerd crap you love and stuff.” Undyne explained. She even fished out her own ring box to prove her point, but before she could get another word in Alphys dropped the microphone with a horrendous feedback squeal. 

The noise however had nothing on the high pitched shriek of true delight that emanated from the scientist. “YYYYYEEEESSSSS! YES! YES! A HUNDRED BILLION TIMES OVER! YES!” She launched herself at Undyne for a kiss, but had both enough force and the element of surprise to actually knock them to the stage. 

“Now, that’s what I call Passion!”, exclaimed the downed fish warrior around a kiss.

The crowd erupted in cheers and whistles and applause. They all were overjoyed for the new couple and immensely happy to have heard the explanation behind the former Captain’s words, Toriel included. They sat up together, both monsters the most glorious shades of green and violet as their magic glowed brightly across their blushing faces. Rings were exchanged, the crowd somehow managed to be louder even than before. Undyne in a moment of grace, leapt to her feet while sweeping her fiancee off hers. She then jumped off the stage and was immediately lost in the sea of congratulations. 

Toriel was so proud of the two young monsters she had barely begun to know. She had never known the pair outside of their relationship, but she had only ever seen it do great things, to themselves, to each other, to the people around them.  _ They might be the first monsters to wed on the surface in the last millennium… _

“Excuse me, Toriel, Grillby, Sans. I must go give the newly engaged couple my congratulations.” Asgore semi-bowed himself out of their all but abandoned conversation, his glass of tea in hand. The crowd seemed to part as he approached giving him and him alone access to the center of the mob, even though he stooped meekly and shuffled his loafer-ed feet across the carpet. 

She should go too. Give them her congratulations and run through all of the regal formalities… 

She caught movement out of the corner of her eye, Sans had turned back around slumping into the bar.

“We, too, should go congratulate Undyne and Alphys.” Toriel persuaded gently. If she could convince Sans to go with her then he might be able to help her get through the crowd unmolested, by pushy do-gooders. 

“why? s’not like we aren’t gonna see ‘em everyday from now until the day of and after. we can give them our congrats later.” Sans mused tiredly. He stirred his drink absentmindedly with the mostly soggy potato wedge. 

When she didn’t say anything, he turned to face her. “what? come on, tori. you can’t convince me that ‘a’ you actually want to go in that crowd and ‘b’ that we should start wearing out our patience with this whole wedding thing. i mean we’re some of their closest friends we’re gonna be hearing about this all the time and not just from the happy couple.” Sans sighed. 

His expression was- odd, to say the least. She was not sure if it was one she had seen on his face before, or if the alcohol was messing with her memory. It was as if he was tired, exasperated, and enormously relieved all at the same time. “Sans, dear? Are you alright?” 

Sans sighed heavily and took a slow sip from his ketchup concoction. “... yeah, t. i’m okay… i guess i’m just relieved.” Finally Sans shifted some to actually face her, but his next words were cut off by the sudden return of the music. It made both of them flinch, but the rest of the apartment seemed to appreciate the return of their dance music.  

After Toriel readjusted to the loudness again she raised her voice to carry over the music like before, “About what?” 

“that i finally know what they were planning, so i can actually freakin’ relax.” Sans’ voice had grown louder again, still without managing to sound like he was yelling. Toriel raise a brow and Sans pointed out a couple standing near the stage. 

The two monster looked so pleased with themselves, the obvious conspiratorial nature of their conversation could be seen even at this distance. Papyrus laughed at something Mettaton had said, but she couldn’t hear his iconic laugh over the sound of the music. She turned back to Sans, “You do not think they are responsible for tonight’s proposal do you?” 

The look he sent her left her little room for doubt in what he believed. “you can’t tell me you don’t. i mean seriously they had time to coordinate their super elaborate costumes, i think planning out someone’s love life is their version of small talk.” Sans muttered into his drink. 

Sans’ word choice sound irritated, but his tone did not. He merely sounded tired, as if he had first hand experience with the subject. And from this perspective the course of events, did appear to have a few too many coincidences. What were the odds that they both had wanted to propose to each other tonight, whilst in an ‘anime cosplay’ they were both very fond of? “Hmm, I do not think you are wrong in your assumptions, but Sans… this seems rather cynical even for you.” 

Sans smirked a little at that. “heh. welp, that’s what the ‘c’ in my name stands for, didn’t anybody tell ya’?” He snarked back.

It was very odd. Toriel could not tell if Sans was being snarky to be hurtful or if it was his default emotion. She had known him for a very long time, but it was starting to occur to her that she may have never known him when he was ‘relaxed’. Had all of their previous banter and good humored conversations been faked? Or was this the kind of relaxed he got when he drank? For she had seen him at his easy numerous time while they had briefly shared an apartment and nearly every time he had been in her home. Should she say something? Or would that be rude, to just assume his behavior was because she believed he was inebriated? 

She decided to just wait it out and see if he pulled himself out of whatever mood he’d fallen into. “Oh, I do not know about that. I think all  **Comic’s** should be a like a cynic, but all cynics do not make great comics.” She tried to stress his name enough to make it clear she was making a pun. 

Sans blinked at her in shock, but before she could wonder if he had not found the joke as funny as she believed he would, he let out a surprised laugh. “heh, heh. i’d forgotten i’d told you my first name. heh, actually i think that’s the first time someone’s ever used it in a pun before, heh!” 

And just like that Sans was Sans again. All smiles and bad jokes, whatever part of him she had seen had melted back into her dearest friend. But now she knew. She knew that there were still parts of himself that he didn’t share, or didn’t like to share. She wondered if they were the parts of him that had been hardened and warped by the things that haunted him in his nightmares? 

Her curiosity was starting to overpower her fear of what she might find. 

But for now she would like to continue to enjoy his company, even if they were both starting to become a bit more than buzzed. 

 

* * *

“i’m tellin’ ya’ tori, it was hands down the weirdest phone call i’ve ever had.” Sans exclaimed, metacarpals moving for emphasis. He’d turned to face her, empty glass abandoned next to him, one leg tucked up under the other. 

“That sounds delightful, actually.” She beamed in response to his news. That phone call had likely been more than just a tour arrangement, it was probably an impromptu interview. “You are going are you not?” 

Sans laughed. “yeah, are you kidding. i wouldn’t pass this up, they're letting me into their state-of-the-art observatorium. for free.” He was beaming back. “this is going to be  **stellar** .” After Toriel laughed, he went on, “i’m probably gonna have to tell this quiggle dude, that i’m not a researcher anymore, but i hope the guy doesn’t hold it against me. maybe if i get him to talk about his research instead, i can avoid the whole thing…” Sans mused aloud. 

“No!”, Toriel almost shouted at him. He stared at her in brief surprise. “I-I mean, no. Do not do that. Well- actually, yes ask him about the kind of work he does, but do not tell him that you are not a researcher. Tell him that you have not done anything like it in a while, but that you  **are** interested in what he is studying.” Toriel tried to explain. 

Sans raised his brow ridges at her. “i’m get some mixed messages here. yea or nay on the whole i’m not a scientist thing? ‘cause i don’t want ta’ just straight up lie to the guy.” 

How was she supposed to tell him that this was a job offer without scaring him away?  _ This could be so important for him… if only he would take it seriously… _ Toriel opened and closed her mouth, trying and failing to find the right words of encouragement. 

Then Sans spoke, “tori. i know how big of a deal this is. having the director of a department tryin’ to jump through hoops on my account, i know what the means. sorry, i was just giving you a hard time, is all. i haven’t thought a whole lot about why he wants to entice me to the university, but i have been thinkin’ about the kind of stuff i might want ta’ do with my life… maybe.” His eye-lights had softened as he spoke, his words were exactly what she had hope to encourage within him. 

“How do you do that?” Toriel asked on an almost breathless sigh. “Just have the words, the right words, to make everything come out okay?” 

Sans laughed again, this one much heartier than the last. It seemed to be coming from somewhere deeping in his ribcage. It made her soul do that stupid fluttering thing again, and here she had thought it’d stopped with that nonsense. “t, you gotta be joking. i suck at the whole talking thing. you’re way better at this than i am. i’ve just… i’ve been thinking a lot about what you said back in may, about not being afraid to do what i love. so i guess, it’s really you saying the right things not me.” He smiled up at her. 

His smile. It was one of those genuine ones. The ones that made her breath catch, because the difference between this and the other ones he wore was so astonishing it hurt. She wanted him to always smile like this. 

Toriel realized that she was on the verge of tears. Perfectly useless ones, that had no right to ruin her evening. She also hadn’t said anything yet, she cleared her throat and straightened up a bit. She had been leaning towards him again. “I appreciate the sentiment, Sans, but this has been occurring since well before we ever made it to the Surface… And I am glad that you understand the  **gravity** of your situation.” 

They both laughed. But before they could continue talking, their ever gracious bartender approached. He crackled warmly in greeting and then convied something to Sans, who’d turned back to face him. “grillby, says ‘it’s last call’. he’s gotta get home and check in on his niece, make sure she’s in bed before midnight and all that.” 

Toriel hummed to herself as she thought, rolling the empty martini glass in between her fingers. Yes, she too had to be in bed at a reasonable hour and she did not want to be hungover tomorrow… but really she did not feel that drunk.  _ One more could not hurt… Something to savor slowly for the remainder of the evening… _ “May I trouble you for a Long Island Iced Tea?” Toriel finally decided. 

Sans snickered, “come over to the drunk side, we have poor choices and the belief that we have somehow learned to dance.” 

“Oh hush, you.” She said with a friendly smack. “It shall be my last drink for the night, I have no desire to end up wearing sunshades while I try to teach a room full of very excitable children.” 

Sans laughed a little more, before giving Grillby his own order, “my last call usual, make it dirty.” 

Grillby crackled something and Sans rolled his eyes, “don’t sweat it, grillbz. paps’ is our designated driver, he’s more than capable of dragging my drunk-ass home in one piece… ‘sides he’s done it before.” Sans mumbled the last part, but Toriel still managed to catch it. Grillby didn’t appear to say anything more as he started adding alcohols to a tall glass full of ice. This had always been one of her favorite drinks, partly because she was rather fond of iced tea and partly because she’d found it so incredibly ironic that alcohol and citrus, two vary pungent flavors, could end up tasting so mundane. Noticing her intense gaze, Grillby in one of his rare bursts of showmanship, flipped the bottle of sweet and sour high into the air before catching it without looking. “.………….. To shake it.” The fire-monster explained casually.

Toriel beamed and Sans snorted amiably, “show off.” But soon the cola was added and her drink was finished. Grillby slid it across the bar-top, before turning to collect a few other glasses and another bottle. He poured the amber liquid into a rocks glass before setting both, the glass and the bottle, down on the bar in front of Sans. Then he grabbed two shot glasses and lined them up on the wood surface and filled them with vodka, not spilling a drop. He place that bottle next to the first, both in easy reach of her friend.

 

_ Sans- He is not an alcoholic, is he?…  _

 

_ no-  _

 

_ No.  _

 

_ Of course, he is not. He does not require a drink every night or go out of his way to consume alcohol. He just- just like to indulge every now and then… _

 

Toriel pushed the thought from her mind; she shouldn’t dwell on it, not while they were at a party. This was one of the few times that this was- hmm, maybe not appropriate behavior, but certainly expected of party-goers. She turned her attention back to Grillby and her own drink, decidedly ignoring the fact that leaving the bottle was part of Sans’ ‘regular’ order. “Thank you, so very much Grillby. I know you did not have to tend to us so genially throughout the night, but I have certainly enjoyed your company.” 

The fire elemental glowed warmly in response and bowed his head, just like the old days. Quick to humility and shy of praise, especially from the King, or Queen, of old. She wondered how many of the older monster would always see them as the royal family, despite their disbanded monarchy. Grillby waved his goodbyes and crackled something to the skeleton-monster at her elbow. Sans rolled his eye-lights in response, “you worry too much, dude. ‘s gonna be fine, so go home and enjoy the early night.” 

Soon Grillby was gone and Toriel was finally able to interrogate Sans in peace, she sipped her drink thoughtfully and considered her plan of attack carefully. All the while, Sans looked around the room as if checking to see if he was being observed, then with a grin and a wink in her direction he climbed up onto the bar. He swiveled easily turning to face her and letting his legs dangle over the edge with a bit of a swing. At her bemused expression he grinned one of his charming smiles, all youth and ease of soul, two qualities he claimed to not posses. “he doesn’t let  **anybody** sit on the bar and i was gettin’ tired of turning ta’ talk with ya’.” He explained with a shrug. 

“And you wonder why he is concerned about your safety.”, She commented with a laugh in her eyes if not in her words. She rested her head on her hand as she leaned onto the bar, glad she wasn’t in polite company anymore. Sans- Sans always seemed to put her at her ease. Did it have to do with the years they sent speaking through her door? More than likely, but now she was surely glad to have such an easy connection with him. One that never left her feeling judged or studied without cause; even on her darkest days, he was always a welcome sight. 

He shrugged again, but plucked up a shot; knocking it back with a flick of his bony wrist. “meh. i think he’s more concerned with my… less than causal approach to rules. he keeps thinkin’ one of these days i’m gonna end up in a cell because i had one too many.” He punctuated his statement with the click of the emptied shot glass being returned to the counter. 

“And have you? Had one too many?” Toriel questioned earnestly. 

“come on, t. i know my limits…” Sans replied as he had the second shot. “i’ll stop when i pass out.” He smirked the last part at her. When she just rolled her eyes, he went on, “seriously, though. you know me, i’m a straight  **shooter** .” 

She snorted into her raised glass barely managing not to spill it all down her front.  _ Damn him, and his ludicrous timing _ . After a small cough, she sent him an exasperated glare and just like she predicted he smirked and took a sip from his remaining drink. “I do not recommend  **mixing** me up with one of your drinking companions, because I certainly do not have the  **stomach** for that kind of  **dirty** lying.” 

Sans snorted, but managed to continue to drink, unimpinged by the requirement for air. _Bastard._ She wanted to snarl at him for being so damn unfazeable, but he spoke first, “okay, wait. are we actually gonna do this? get drunk, while making jokes about booze?” 

“Royalty does not ‘get drunk’...”, Toriel answered primly, but as she raised her glass she muttered loud enough for him to hear, “We simply invent new holidays.” 

That got an outright laugh from her punpal. “damn straight.”, he agreed as he knocked back the rest of his whiskey. Unscrewing the bottle next to him, he poured himself more and went on, “m’kay, three birds walk into a bar, two fall over, but one  **ducks** .” 

Toriel giggled. She hadn’t meant to... giggle, exactly. But it happened and now it was her turn, “What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?” 

“hmm, what?”, Sans answered cheerfully.

“ **Olive’r** twist?”, she smirked. That won her a few moments of near bone rattling laughter, but all too soon he’d regained his composure. 

“nice one, tori. but what do you say when you’re gonna drunk dial someone?”, Sans countered. “it’s okay,  **alcoh** ‘em.” 

They both laughed at that one. “What do you get when you mix classic literature with alcohol?” Toriel replied. “ **Tequila** Mockingbird.” He snickered at her joke, but shot her a curious look over the rim of his glass. “What is it, my de- friend?”, Toriel questioned, just barely managing to catch herself. 

“first,” he gestured at her with his glass, “what’s with the drunk book jokes? gotta be a  **story** there.” He winked with his pun, but carried on easily. “and second, why did ya’ sensory self with the ‘dear’ thing? you used ta’ call me ‘my dear’ all the time, so what gives?” 

Toriel was caught mid-laugh by his real question, and stopped suddenly. It left a very awkward silence between them. Toriel rolled her condensation covered glass between the pads of her paws. The cool dampness of the water made her realize how warm she felt. She briefly considered shedding her spiderweb lace cardigan, but changed her mind; she would surely lose it. However, she still had not said anything in response to Sans’ question. 

She took a calming breath before turning back to her friend, he looked rather uncomfortable and fussed with a thread that had come loose on the end of his sleeve. “look tori, i didn’t mean ta’ ask somethin’-”, he began, eye-lights fixed on the drink in his hands. 

“Nonsense.” She interrupted. “It is a perfectly fair question and one I ought to give you the answer to… I merely find the subject minorly embarrassing, no fault of yours I assure you.” His eyes had flicked back to hers, she let out long breath. “Now, I have gone and made something minor into such a big deal. Do not mind this silly old lady.” Toriel waved off his protest to her statement before he’d started. 

“I had realized that my words sounded- rather condescending… very condescending actually, seeing as how I often refer to Frisk as ‘my dear’. I just did not want you or anyone else to perceive my language towards you as… hmm, demeaning.” She concluded, trying to keep her tone casual and not let any of the embarrassment from having to be told this fact by another seep in.  _ Honestly, if only someone had told me sooner then I would not have carried on like that for so long… Asgore as kind as he often is really needs to learn to be faster about pointing out impoliteness… _

“seriously? that’s it?”, Sans blinked at her. 

“Well, yes.” She said, straightening. “Should it not be enough?” As much as she hated it, public perception was everything. He had just said as much hadn’t he? 

Sans snorted. “god, tori. i sure as hell didn’t think you were being condescending!”, Sans laughed. “mostly i figured it was a holdover from the door days, ya’ know? but i can promise you i never thought you were talkin’ down to me or something.” 

“Oh…” She began, now it was her turn for feeling silly. 

“actually, i thought it was pretty en **dear** ing.” Sans punned with laughter twinkling in his eye-lights. 

“Oh, you!”, she exclaimed on a laugh, before shoving his knee gentle. “Turning my worries into puns…” 

Sans’ eye-lights dance merrily above his grinning teeth. “what? think my material’s becoming  **stag** nant, do ya’?” 

“Oh no, you do not! I shan't let you get away with mocking me this way. I am not some  **doe** -eyed girl you can pull the wool over.” Toriel teased lightheartedly. She enjoyed the way his face lit up with surprised delight at her pun. 

“i hope your parade has an umbrella because it’s going to **rain-dear** .” Sans countered with startling ease, given that he was pouring himself another drink. 

Toriel burst into roaring laughter, barely managing to muffle herself in time.  _ A double pun! That is so unfair! How does any monster have the right to be so good at wordplay?  _ “S-sans! I  **moose** ask you to stop! I need to catch my breath!”, she barely managed to gasp out. 

Sans’ smirk turned downright ruthless. “but tori~”, he almost crooned, “i know you’re a huge  **fawn** of puns, so  **buck** le up i’ve barely started.” 

Toriel bowed her head, as her body shook with laughter. She could feel the water starting to form in her eyes, but could do nothing about it as she tried to muffle her guffawing laughs. She would not bleat in public... again! It was just too embarrassing and very undignified…  _ So? Be a little undignified! Who cares!? Sans literally could not care less about how you laugh and everyone else is too drunk to remember, so what is stopping you!  _

Toriel pushed the thought away and swallowed her laughter. Sans beamed at her as she straightened, Toriel sent him a mock glare as she waved her hands at her face. She knew she should have gotten the waterproof makeup, with Sans around it was apparently a necessity.

Despite his claim, Sans waited in silent amusement while she plucked up a napkin and dabbed carefully at her eyes. The white napkin came away unsmudged, much to her relief. Toriel took a sip of her drink and cleared her throat before turning back to her companion. He’d been watching her while she’d fussed with her makeup, but when she turned towards him, he made no move to look away nor did he comment. The ball was in her court, so to speak.

And Sans would wait. 

Toriel opened her mouth to speak- 

“I’M GONNA DRINK ALL YOU NERDS SO FAR UNDER THE TABLE YOU’RE GONNA BE ON THE FIRST FLOOR!!!!!!”, screamed Undyne from somewhere in the middle of the jumping crowd. 

Her challenge was met with cheers and yells of general excitement, until some nameless being shouted, “Oh yeah! Prove IT!” 

Toriel wished they hadn’t. Undyne had work in the morning, and realistically so did the instigator. 

“I’M GONNA!!” Undyne screamed back. Toriel still couldn’t see her even though she’d fully turned to face the mob. She could, however, see a circle forming in the middle of the dancing crowd and she could only assume that the former Captain of the Royal Guard was in that vicinity.  

A new voice, this one more feminine than the last instigator, squealed at the top of their lungs, “SHOTTTTSSSS!” 

“FUCK YEAH! BUCKLE UP YOU NERDS ‘CAUSE I’M ABOUT TO SLAM DUNK ALL YOUR ASSES!!!” Undyne roared in delighted fury and some of the outer mobbers peeled off from the horde and scampered towards the bar.  

She flinched internally at the idea of these well-meaning drunks pilfering Mettaton’s very nice and likely very expensive glassware, but as her eyes traveled down the bar towards their destination she found quite a surprise. Several serving trays had been left on the gleaming wooden bartop, each ladened with shot glasses and bottles of some kind of clear spirit.  _ Had Grillby arranged those before he had departed… or had someone else? _

The trays were immediately snatched up and swept off towards the center of the crowd. Sans’ voice had her shifting back slightly to face him, “damn grillbz is a good bartender. man can read a crowd hours out.” Sans sipped his drink casually, watching the party-goers with obvious amusement at this spectacular outburst of stupidity.

“Or perhaps the consumption of shots was an inevitability and he merely assumed.” Toriel countered as she turned away from the rowdy mob. Sans didn’t look at her when she spoke however, and in the dim light she could see something like defiance sharpened his eye-lights with frosty sparks of pale magic.

 

_ He wasn’t- He couldn’t- He  _ **_wouldn’t_ ** _ - _

 

“Sans, you are not going to join them, are you?”, She had meant the question to be curious and causal, not horrified and appalled. 

Her tone had recaptured his attention, a snort of derision escaped him before he looked at her. “pop into that bunch? hell no.” Sans answered his own question and after a moment's hesitation he went on, “but i might keep count with ‘em.” 

“How is that any better? You have already had quite a lot as it is and frankly so have they! I do not think any of you ought to be drinking any more.” Toriel replied sharply and hoped her tone would make him stop. 

He just smirked at her and poured vodka into the two empty shot glasses at his side. The willfully rebellious attitude practically radiated off of him… but it was a front. She could see it, see that the competition gearing up on the dance floor was just an excuse to keep drinking. He would have irrelevant of the party going on around them. And for the second time this evening she was confronted with the idea that Sans, her dearest friend, might be an alcoholic. 

The thought shook her enough that she had missed them begin the count. 

“THREE!”, screamed the crowd as Sans placed down the empty glass and plucked up the second one lying in wait. 

“‘sides,” Sans continued as if he hadn’t even notice her stunned silence, “paps’ told me i’m not allowed ta’ do drinking games with undyne anymore.” 

A shout of “FOUR!” followed by some shouting then a “THAT’S RIGHT NERD!” interrupted Sans’ next words. He took the shot and started the cycle over again. 

“she’s a poor loser.” Sans explained with a wink, either he hadn’t noticed her expression or was deliberately ignoring it. He was trying to gloss over her worry, her concern; it made her shiver as something unpleasant settled into her stomach. 

She didn’t reply, but she couldn’t look away. Sans wouldn’t meet her eye. 

 

_ Perhaps he is a binge drinker? For special occasions, of course… _

 

It took a bit longer for “FIVE!” and even longer for “SIX!”, but Sans still wouldn’t acknowledge her. He was all fake smiles and good natured demeanor. More and more people dropped out of the competition or were pulled out by rational and responsible friends. 

 

_ This is not a nightly thing, surely… Papyrus would have noticed- _

 

“SEVEN!” Sans had another shot. She could see his eye-lights grow fuzzy around the edges. Out of focus and more than a little drunk. 

Undyne released the most unholy of battle cries at her apparent victory. “AND THASS HOW IT’S DONE, NERDS!” slurred the six foot something warrior. 

Sans took the eighth shot and grinned maliciously at the crowd, the smile held no amusement or triumph. He screwed the cap back on the bottle and placed it back down. The click of glass on wood sounded much louder than it ought to, but the sound seemed to have pulled Sans back to the present and, at last, he turned to look at her. 

Toriel carefully, wordlessly, pushed her half finished drink away from herself; deliberately putting it out of his reach as well. Something very cold had settled into the pit of her stomach and it made her soul ache with unshed tears. She had to swallow the need, the overwhelming need, to scoop him up and comfort him. But she couldn’t, not now, she had to know more. She had to know if what she feared was true. “Sans…”, she hesitated for a moment, her mind a little more than fuzzy as she struggled to find the right words. “Sans, I think we need to ta-” 

“you guys, should take her with you.” Sans interrupted her. He was watching the room and the party and the flashing lights, not her. She could see his hands tighten their grip on the bar, stark bone against dark wood. “in january, i mean.”

“What?”, Toriel blurted out unceremoniously. His words had taken her by surprise; did he really think that he could just- blatantly change the subject like that and she wouldn’t notice?

“al. you guys should take her with you.” Sans went on like her didn’t hear her tone or the words she’d begun to stay before. He still wouldn’t turn to look at her. 

Toriel felt herself scowl slightly. “Sans, that does not matter right now. We need-” But of course, he cut her off.

“sure it does. i kinda figured the future of all monsters always mattered.” Sans’ words held this bite in them that filled in what he hadn’t said,  _ “or does that not matter to you?” _

“It most certainly  **matters** .” Toriel almost snarled. “But you need to stop changing the subject, right now.” Her words felt icey even though she was hot with anger; at least he’d let her finish this time. 

“tori-”, Sans said and finally he turned to look at her. In that one second of eye contact before he continued speaking something clicked, something important. 

She’d seen that look in his eyes before. 

She’d seen it months ago, when he’d been perched on his counter after their share sleepless night. The exhaustion pulled at his feature, despite the laughs they’d share only moments before and he had hesitated before answering. She’d realized that he was more than just a frequent napper and a restless sleeper, he had severe insomnia. She could remember exactly the way he had looked, slippered feet dangling off the counter, in only his hoodie and shorts, and the look on his face. The guilt. 

Not because he’d lied to her about it before or because he’d thought about lying to her again, but because he’d made her worry. Because he’d **keep** making her worry. Because he knew that she couldn’t fix it and that would only make it worse for her. 

And here it was again, that **look** . Like he knew exactly what was wrong and he knew that she was right, but she couldn’t help him and he was sorry that she was upset. He couldn’t care less about himself and  **_why_ ** he was hurting,  **_why_ ** he drank in excess or couldn’t sleep… he just felt guilty for upsetting her. 

It made her  **furious** . 

That he would think she’d just sit there and worry! That- that she wouldn’t try to help him, whether he thought it would work or not! 

 

_ Damn him! For just- just dismissing me because he’s  _ **_sorry_ ** _ \- Because he does not want me to be upset! He does not get to just decide for me! I pick my own fight and I bleed for whoever I choose to and he will just have to deal that with the fact that  _ **_I care about him!_ ** _ I promised that I would wait for him to be ready and I will, but like HELL I will just sit on the sidelines and watch him drown! Screw waiting  _ **_for_ ** _ him! I will wait  _ **_with_ ** _ him!  _

 

Toriel could feel the heat rising in her soul, her magic crackled along her fur- but she bit her tongue. She couldn’t- wouldn’t shout this sentiment at him no matter how much she wanted to because she saw something else. 

He would bolt before she got two words in. 

He was already tense and quite literally on the edge of his seat; if she pushed this, he’d run… Somewhere deep in her soul she was afraid once he started he wouldn’t stop running from her. He still wasn’t ready to confront this, whatever this was, even if she was half-mad with ‘being ready’. She knew that when she had to she would push, not for him to tell her, but for him to openly admit that there was a problem. She would drag him to doctor’s appointment and sleep studies and out of the house for goddamn walks just to get the fresh air. She would be the thing that didn’t waver, that didn’t budge even when he felt like the world was falling apart… She  **would** be there for him. 

And for right now that fact was going to have to be enough for her. She wished she hadn’t had so much to drink.

The hot flash of anger chilled and Sans finished his thought, “-i really think you oughtta’ hear me out.” 

Toriel sighed and only a little smoke curled out of her mouth. Sans flinched a little. _Good._ “Very well, why should we take Dr. Alphys with us?” She sounded a little tired. 

Relief, quick and overwhelming, flashed across Sans’ face at her consent to change the subject. It made her soul twist, into all kinds of wrong shapes. 

“welp, for starters i think i’d be kinda mean ta’ separate your guard captain from her fiancee for a month.” He replied with a vague wave to the crowd. He sounded a little tired, too. 

“I suppose that is fair, but not exactly a favorable reason for including Alphys. More like a clear disadvantage for taking Undyne.” Toriel commented. She rested her head on her propped up elbow, but she gave Sans her full attention. 

Sans’ mouth quirked a little at her, an almost smile. “touche, but i think you’re gonna want ta’ have her around when the humans start pulling out bullshit statistics to tell you ‘no’.” He moved his glass up like he was going to take a sip, but he grimaced and put it back down. 

Toriel blinked at him and sat up. She was glad he’d decided against more alcohol, but that’s not what got her attention. He was right.  _ Again… _ At anytime during the negotiations, they could tell her that it couldn’t be done because of ‘insert fact we just made up here’ and they wouldn’t be able to refute it if she and Asgore didn’t understand where the data had come from or what it meant. Sans noticed her more attentive interest and went on clearly glad for the distraction. “i know she’s not the head royal scientist anymore, but you could take her as like an advisor ‘er something. she brilliant with numbers and she hates it when somebody tries to use stats to corrupt their results.” 

Toriel could definitely see the need for having someone like that on their growing staff but, “Are you certain Dr. Alphys would be able to handle the stress or even if she would be willing?” 

Now Sans did smile, it was a little stiff and his eye-lights were still a little fuzzed, but it had some real emotion behind it. “yes and yes.” Sans said with confidence before he elaborated, “she can get pretty nervous and anxious, but she’s working on that. she can also be a kinda eccentric, but all the best nerds are on some level so that’s more like a plus. and…” He trailed off for a moment and searched the crowd for his friend. “she deserves a second chance. she doesn’t need to prove herself to anyone, but she thinks she does. that she needs ta’ make amends for what happened, even though she did the best she could, did the best anyone could’ve in that situation… she thought she was doing the right thing and then it all went sideways on her.” Sans hummed this last bit thoughtfully to himself. Toriel didn’t speak, she could tell he still wanted to say more. 

He remained lost in thought for another few moments before he shaking himself out of it, “anyway, what i was saying was she wants to show everyone that she didn’t get put in charge of the lab because she was the closest soul nearby when the job opened up, ya’ know? she’s capable for a lot more than people give her credit for.” 

 

_ Just like you, my friend. _

 

Toriel, too, turned towards the crowd. She didn’t see Alphys anymore than Sans had, but she assumed the lizard-monster was somewhere in the mob still. Sans made several valid points and it left Toriel with a lot to muse through. She had been alarmed and horrified to learn of Alphys’ experiments, but upon learning the reasoning behind them and how things ended up the way they did, Toriel found she no longer blamed the scientist for her failures. She however was steadfast in her decision to fire the lizard-monster, the lack of honest could not be overlooked. Dr. Alphys was capable though, Mettaton was enough to prove that. She was brilliant and dedicated and still had the kingdom’s best interests in mind and had a strong sense of morality, even if she ignored it from time to time.  _ Undyne would help with that though, keeping the two of them together ought to help them stay the course… And Frisk would certainly love to have their Aunts with us. _

“I shall put her name on the list and discuss this with Asgore at length.”, Toriel finally said. “I cannot make any promises, but you have made a very good argument on her behalf.” 

Sans shrugged off her comment, “nah, i’d just laid everything out all at once. you’d probably have invited her once you guys’d had a chance to really think about it. i just gave ya’ my two cents for what it’s worth.” 

“Quite a lot, my friend. I always appreciate a  **change** in perspective.”, Toriel replied with an easy grin. She didn’t turn away from the crowd, but she did give Sans a sideways glance when she said her pun. 

He chuckled a little, with a small shake of his head. “nice one, but i’m only at a  **quarter** brain power right now, so i don’t know how long i can keep this  **exchange** going for.” 

“What a  **coin** cidence, so am I.” Toriel countered. Then she blanched and laughed, “Oh dear, that was awful. Even for me.”

Sans snickered, “oh yeah, that was  _ pretty _ bad. but we’ve done worse, like… by a lot.” His eye-lights danced with amusement as she turned back to look at him. 

Toriel giggled a little in agreement as the pair fell silent. In the lull, Toriel’s mind began chasing a few thoughts around in her head and one of them escaped. “You are a good friend.” 

Sans blinked at her in confusion, his head tilted slightly as if he hadn’t heard her correctly. “in what context?” 

“All.” She answered with a shrug, “But more specifically, I had been referring to your recommendation of Dr. Alphys. You are a good friend.” 

At her words she could see the amusement leave him. He looked a little sad and when he spoke his words were full of regret, “no i’m not. maybe i used ta’ be, but i haven’t been in a really long time.” He cast his gaze out over the party again, in search of a monster she knew he wouldn’t be able to see. 

“I think I shall have to disagree with you on this. You care a great deal about the people around you, including Alphys, and I know she still cares about you.” Toriel stated and out of unintentional habit, she plucked up her abandoned drink and took a sip. It was very watered down by now, so the drink had lost a lot of its flavor. But she’d been parched so it did the job.

“maybe.” Sans mussed. “but not the way i used to, i was just a different soul back then. i swear if you met me back when i worked in the lab, you’d have no idea who i was. at least personality wise.” Sans had his drink in his hand again, but he hadn’t raise it to his teeth yet. 

“And why do you say that? What has changed from then until now?” She didn’t think she’d get answer, not a really one anyway.

He did not disappoint. 

“too much. twenty or so years might not seem like a lot ta’ you, but it is from my point of view.” Sans snorted with a shake of his head. 

“Te-”, Toriel began to correct, but she caught herself.  _ Sans had meant ten years, had he not? He is in his thirties now and worked at the lab when he was in his early twenties, so that would be ten years, right? -Or does he actually mean  _ **_twenty_ ** _? Does he believe he worked in the Royal Laboratory twenty years ago not ten? _

“hmm?”, Sans questioned at her hesitation. 

“Nevermind, I thought I misheard you.”, Toriel answered honestly if not innocently. He was drunk and she knew it, would it be wrong of her to take advantage of that? To ask him questions he might not answer normally? 

Well, if it was wrong, she’d just have to deal with the morality of the situation another time. “What do you think changed you the most, from then until now? Made you the most different?” She asked as casually as she could. She took another sip of her drink, it was mostly just partially-melted ice at this point. 

At first she didn’t think he’d answer, or maybe she hadn’t asked loud enough to be heard over the music because she’d been so focused on sounding normal. Toriel was about to ask again when he finally answered and it chilled her soul. 

“probably the solitary confinement.”

He sounded so casual as he’s said it, like talking about the weather, not like imprisonment.  _ T-that cannot be right. The detention levels were sealed years before I left.   _ The levels had been built underneath the castle, in case of dire emergencies. The technique of magical and physical isolation had been a holdover from the paranoia of the post-war revolts. It was the least barbaric way to extract confessions back in those dark days, when the kingdom had been in disarray and the war parties were constantly clashing with the peace factions. Some just couldn’t bare the idea that they, the King and Queen, had surrendered and now all of monsterkind had been doomed to the Underground.

 

_ Asgore- he would not have put someone in there, no matter the circumstances! He just would not!  _  It did not do physical harm, but… isolation- true isolation, did horrors to the mind.

 

“What?”, she gasped, suddenly breathless and in soul-wrenching pain. 

Sans glanced her way in alarm at the rasp of her voice. “what?”, he questioned back, confusion and worry obvious across his features. 

Toriel blinked the tears from her vision and tried to clear her throat, but it had gone so dry. She reached for her glass, but it had nothing left in it so she snatched up the one Sans had abandoned when he’d turned to her. The whiskey burned her throat, but she was glad for it. It gave her a real reason to have tears dampening her eyes. Sans was staring at her in blatant shock, while she lowered the empty glass. “What do you mean?”, Toriel questioned immediately.

“i-”, Sans flinched from her intense study of him. “i’m drunk. so ya’ know, you can just sorta ignore the stuff i say… unless it's funny- or adorkable.” He tried to make it sound like a joke, but failed miserably. He was clearly trying to brush this off. 

Toriel was tired of it. 

“Hand me the vodka and a shot glass.”, she all but demanded. Fine, if he wanted to play everything off as a joke or just blame it on the booze, then he could! But she was done playing. If he’d rather just be drunk then she might as well reach that mind numbing level too! At least, then it wouldn't hurt so damned much! She wouldn’t be on the edge of her seat  **every time** he let something slip and she learned more about the kinds of nightmares that haunted her closest friend.  _ Just _ \-  _ Fine _ . 

Sans didn’t react, he just stared at her. 

“Fine, then. I will just grab them myself.” Toriel snapped at him and made for the bottle. 

It moved. 

Sans’ phalanges were wrapped around the neck of the bottle and he’d slid it away from her. “tori... uh, maybe you should just take a sec.” 

“The bottle, Sans. I do not need to take a second, I need a shot.” Toriel stated, her paw gesturing for the return of the bottle. 

“no.” Sans replied. “i think you’ve had enough. you’ve got class n’ stuff in the morning.” He leaned a little further away as if that would actually keep it away from her.

Toriel felt her magic boil.  _ Just who does he think he is? _ What gives him, of all monsters, the right to tell  **her** when she’s had enough?! She was over a thousand years old, she could handle a few more drinks! “Well, that is just  _ rich _ coming from you, but now that we are done joking. Hand  **me** the bottle. I will not ask again.” Toriel ordered, her anger flushing her skin with magic.

That spark of defiance from before, flashed in Sans’ eye-lights. “no.” he repeated with more conviction.

Challenging him probably wasn’t the best tact, but she couldn’t care less. Sooner or later Sans was bound to run into a fight he couldn’t win, why not now?  _ It shall be a good lesson for him _ . 

“Give it to me.” Toriel began, but before he could reply she shifted on her seat leaning forward ready to just take the damn thing from him. 

She’d expected him to lean away from her, to pull back in someway as she invaded his space, but he didn’t. He had already shifted as far back as he could sitting on the bar like that...

And now she was nasal ridge to snout with him. 

She’d never been this close to him before and it made her freeze. 

Sans had been ready with a comeback, but it lost its gusto with her sudden proximity. “make me.”, he practically whispered to her. With his words he released an unnecessary breath. It felt frigid on her far,  _ far _ too hot skin. The air must have been chilled by his own magic before being cast back out almost completely unaltered. She expected it to smell of ethanol, but it didn’t; it just reminded her of the way a cold night might smell. Snow heavy on the ground, a dark cloudless sky, and the air so crisp it hurt when you took a deep breath.

She could feel the fur on her arms start to fluff out and her breath caught.  The shiver that rolled down her skin had nothing to do with the cold. 

His eye-lights were transfixed by her and for the first time she really saw the yellow in them. She’d seen the blue of his magic color them before, but never the yellow swirls that tinged them. She’d always called them eye- _ lights _ , everyone did, but they weren’t. They were small wisps of raw, unmodified magic. She could even see the small trails magic like that left in its wake, almost like an afterimage, as he glanced down at her mouth for just a second. 

She could kiss him, if she wanted to. It wouldn’t even be that hard, she’d just have to lean forward, only an inch or two and she’d be able to press her mouth to his teeth.

She’d thought about that a lot, in the last few months. Kissing him. The height difference had always made it tricky, in her head, but he had this knack for sitting on tables and counters and bars… Making that problem, rather avoidable. Really she’d just been wondering if skeleton-monsters even kissed? She’d seen Sans and Papyrus press their teeth to the top of Frisk’s head, but were they just mimicking the actions of more substantial monsters, as they often did? So would it be weird if she kissed him? Should she ask or just wait to see if he would kiss her first? 

Neither of them had moved from their positions, but Sans glanced at her mouth again. He didn’t move though… maybe he was just waiting for her to say something? Maybe he needed some sign from her so he knew he had permission? She’d figure them being so close was pretty clear non-verbal permission, but Sans always did like verbal cues despite his constant use of facial subtext. 

Toriel wasn’t sure where her mind pulled this from but it felt right when she’d said it, so she was very glad her alcohol impaired brain was still functioning on some level. “You would just  _ love _ that, wouldn’t you?”, she whispered back. 

She almost never used contractions, not because she didn’t understand them, but because it wasn’t the way she’d learned language. They been taught to always pronoun the entire word, that the gift of tongues was special and should not be wasted by depriving the words of their full meaning. She hoped it’d be a big enough clue.

Her soul thrummed rapidly, finally at something that almost made sense, as she watched his eye orbits widen ever so slightly at her words. His teeth quirked into a smile of understanding. But it was his eye-lights that had captured her attention, the intensity of their magic spiked. The small wisps of pale blue and yellow magic were so bright it was almost blinding, they did not look nearly so fuzzed anymore. 

She felt him shift, felt his hands start to move, felt his head tilt up just a fractions of an inch. The hands she’d let brace herself on the bar, the ones she’d placed on either side of him, began to lift off of the wood. She felt her belly press against his knees as she leaned- 

There was a thunderous crash and the music cut off with a horrific squeal. 

Sans and Toriel shot away from each other like repelling magnets. She’d jumped so far back she would have knocked over the stool if it hadn’t been attached to a rail under the bar. As she flounced back onto it, nearly falling off the damn thing, Sans managed to not to drop the vodka bottle he’d still been holding. 

Her soul pounded uselessly in her chest and her magic raced through her, just under her skin barely contained. Her flush deepened as the embarrassment- the self-consciousness crashed through her. 

She’d almost kissed Sans. 

She was an idiot. Truly, truly  **dumb** . Every time she’d thought about it, about kissing him, it had been followed up with a hundred reasons why it was a  **bad** idea, and then she’d gone and ignored her own advice! She really had had too much to drink, her brain felt fuzzy and slow as her thoughts raced by too fast.  She could have ruined everything. It left her feeling a little queasy.

She needed Sans in her life. He meant so  **much** to her and if they’d kissed- it would have changed everything… It would have gone wrong, her relationships always seemed to, and then she’d have lost him too. She’d lost so much in her life because something had changed- in herself, in her companion, in her child- she would  **not** make the same mistake twice. She couldn’t risk this- or was it already too late? Had something already changed?

She risked a glance at Sans, the sounds of confusion and alarm from the party behind her were meaningless in the background. She tightened her arms around herself, she hadn’t even realized she’d crossed them, and braced herself. 

He looked a little panic stricken. She could see him mimicking breaths faster than he normally did, almost like he was panting. One of his hands had the bottle in a death grip as if he was afraid it might try to jump out of his grasp; the other was locked so tight around the edge of the bar she was afraid it might leave indentations in the wood. His eye-lights still looked bright and alive- he glanced at her. She snapped her gaze away and she could feel him do the same. She may have hurriedly looked away, but it had still given her plenty of time to see the spectacularly brilliant blue of his blush as it spread across his face.

**Delightful**. She’d managed to mortify both of them.  _ Perhaps he will not remember this in the morning. _ And then she felt ashamed for thinking it, for wanting to circumvent the consequences of her actions because someone else didn’t remember what she had done. But she also didn’t think she could face this, it was just- just- too much… 

She was saved from the miasma of  her own thoughts by an amplified voice. She turned towards the stage and standing in the dead center, like she expected, was Mettaton. But this time he didn’t have a microphone. “My lovely guest! It has been quite a fabulous night, but all good things cannot last forever, my Darlings. With the sudden and spectacular failure of my- hrm,  _ state-of-the-art sound system _ , due to a technical mishap with a speaker and a-  **stunning** dancer, this must be my curtain call. Without music this bash shall have to be postponed until next Halloween-” His self-amplified voice announced only to be interrupted. 

“So you’re gonna throw a’other party nexs year?”, slurred a very drunk guest. 

“But of course~” Mettaton practically sang. “Now as the age old saying goes: You don’t have to go home, but you certainly can’t stay  _ here _ ! Enjoy the rest of your spook-tacular night!” Mettaton started to take his bows when Papyrus who’d been standing off to the side of the stage said something Toriel couldn’t hear over the ringing in her ears. Mettaton straightened and said, “Oh yes~ One more thing my beautiful guests! If anyone of you Darlings don’t feel safe driving back home, just talk to the doorman in the lobby he will be more than happy to call you an Uber, on me~ Goodnight and stay safe!” Mettaton posed dramatically several time and bowed a few more times as the drunken crowd roared, but the moment people started to amble away he rushed off stage to where Papyrus was waiting. Toriel lost him in the sea of meandering bodies.

She wasn’t sure if she was glad or not that someone had collided with one of Mettaton’s speakers. She supposed she was more glad than worried, because now she could go home-  _ And hide for the next millennium… _ Her head was starting to hurt. 

She didn’t turn to look at Sans again, she just couldn’t bring herself to, but after practicing what she wanted to say several time in her head she spoke, “Should we go and collect Alphys and Undyne?” 

He didn’t reply right away and Toriel was afraid she’d have to look at him so he’d hear her over the crowd’s excited, confused and drunken chatter, but he answered, “nah. i- uh, i just texted ‘em where we are so they can sit with us while pap helps mettaton calm down…” 

“Oh.” she said stupidly. After she cleared her throat she managed to ask, “Are you sure Mettaton is upset?” 

“yeah.” Sans answered back. Then after he shifted some he went on, “he didn’t do that leg pose thing he does all the time… so i just figured he was pretty pissed and wanted to get off the stage a-sap.”

“Oh.” she said again. She still couldn’t turn to look at him.

People filed out of the apartment. Slowly and noisily. 

Toriel briefly wondered what time it was. 

Undyne and Alphys were nowhere to be seen.

Time trickled by far slower than the enormous number of people that had been crammed into this space had entered. 

Toriel was trying to decide if she should ask Sans if Undyne and Alphys even had their phones with them, when Toriel's alcohol-addled brain recognized a familiar voice. “Like swimming up a waterfall… that’s on fuckin’ fire!” Undyne shouted as she emerged from the sea of people, Alphys in tow. Toriel felt a huge wash of relief as they appeared because now it wasn’t just her and Sans… in this semi-isolated part of the room… by themselves. 

Somehow Toriel managed to remember what had happened before everything had went so- not normal and she announced upon seeing the couple, “I must give you two my congratulations. I am so very happy for the both of you!” 

“yeah, congrats guys. it took you two long enough.” Sans snarked from behind her, but his voice sounded normal and not nearly as strained as it had earlier so he must have appreciated their arrival as well. 

Alphys and Undyne beamed, both practically glowing with excitement. “T-thanks!”, Alphys giggled as she took Undyne’s hand. Undyne locked fingers with her. 

“We’re gonna be the happiest couple ever!”, Undyne exclaimed with delight. They both look bedraggled and smeared and tired and Toriel did not doubt her claim for a moment. They both joined Toriel on barstools and Undyne snatching up the bottle of whiskey by Sans before she sat down. “And I don’t wanna hear anything from you”, Undyne jabbed a finger at Sans, “You haven’t proposed to anybody so you’ve got no idea how- stressful it is, so just stuff it!” 

Sans raised his hands in mock surrender, but he smirked at Undyne. “come on undyne, you just got engaged aren’t you supposed to be  **marry** ?” He snickered.

“BITE ME!”, she roared back and stole Sans’ empty glass as she settled down on the stool next to the one he had his feet on. Alphys was perched on the far side of Undyne and had her head resting against her fiancee. The lizard-monster giggled a little at Sans’ joke. 

So, unfortunately, did Toriel. She hadn’t meant to laugh so loudly, but it was a pretty good one and she’d wondered how long Sans had been waiting to use it. Sans looked over at her, a smile on his face. Their eyes met. Toriel felt the blush in her face at the same time she saw it on his. They both looked away.

Undyne had missed the exchange, but only by seconds as she poured herself a glass. Toriel cleared her throat and schooled her features the best she could before she asking, “So have you two decided when you want the wedding to be? Or, I suppose, you have not had much of a chance to talk yet, have you?” 

As Undyne and Alphys shared a look of bewilderment, it just dawned on them that now they had to plan a wedding, Toriel caught a glance of Sans out of the corner of her eye. He’d been fidgeting and she watched him move his hands like he was trying to put them in the pockets of his coat, only to realize he wasn’t wearing it. The action made her smile a little.  _ He really is a creature of habit. _

“Um, maybe in like Spring or something.” Undyne finally answered at the exact same time Alphys said, “I-I think an A-autum wedding m-might be nice…” 

Toriel smiled at their the alarmed looks. “Do not worry. It will seem like you disagree about everything wedding related at first, but that is because you have not figured out what the perfect thing is yet. When you do, everything well start to go smoothly… that and you will have finally found a wedding planner.” Toriel placated with a laugh. 

The couple smiled again and shared another loving look. “This is gonna be so freakin’ rad!”, Undyne exclaimed. 

“N-no babe, it’s gonna b-be  _ the _ raddest. Nobody’s wedding w-will ever be as r-rad as ours.”, Alphys corrected with a half-sleepy half-contented smile.

“Damn Straight!”, Undyne cheered as she stook a gulp of her drink. 

Toriel was about to tell Undyne she probably shouldn’t have anymore alcohol, especially with it being a work day in the morning, but something blue grabbed her attention. With a wurl of fabric and an air of practiced easy Sans pulled his hoodie on. Not only it had seemingly appeared out of no-where, he'd also managed not to knock anything over as he swirled it on.  _ How- His inventory. He’d had it in his inventory. _

He settled back into a slouch on the bar, his hands comfortable back in his pockets, and this look of relaxed familiarity settled over him. At their stares, he shrugged, “what?” 

“Do you just carry that damn thing everywhere you go?”, Undyne demanded in disbelief. 

“yeah, why?”, Sans responded easily. He seemed to slouch down even further into the obvious comfort the coat gave him. 

“B-but, why did you w-wait to put it on? C-couldn’t you have j-just been wearing i-it the whole night?”, Alphys countered.

Again with this almost lazy easy Sans drawled, “couldn’t. pap said no jacket until after the halloween party, it didn’t seem festive if i just wore it over my costume. but the party’s over.” And with a bit of a nod, Sans drew their attention to the room at large. 

It was empty. Somehow they’d missed the last of the party go-er depart. The colored lights had been switched to plain white, but the main house lights remained off. The whole place was littered with debris: cups, plates, paper napkins, halloween themed confetti, and so much more. Toriel was suddenly stricken with the thought that Mettaton would have to clean all of this up, his lovely home had been trashed. Foodstuffs were smear, stomped, and splashed on his new carpeting and rugs and furniture. And there across the room near the stage was the destroyed speaker. It appeared to have been shoved off its stand and then collided with the hard metal stage, shattering on impact. Now its electronic insides laid strewn across the tiled dance floor.

It was appalling. 

But before she could even begin to wonder where they should start, a recessed door across the room slid open and she caught the latter half of a conversation. 

“METTATON, ARE YOU CERTAIN YOU DO NOT WANT ASSISTANCE CLEANING UP?” Papyrus asked worriedly as he strolled through the doorway. 

“Oh, quite certain. This mess can stay here for several more hours as far as I’m concerned. The cleaning crew will be here in the morning and that will be that. Nothing to concern yourself with, darling.” Mettaton replied with a wave of his hand and followed Papyrus through the door. It closed automatically behind them. Papyrus frowned at the mess, but before he could voice his doubts the robot continued, “Think of it less of a mess Papyrus and more of a job well done.” He gestured to the room a large, “All of this is the indicator that  _ our _ party was a spectacular one! It's a good thing.” 

Papyrus still frowned a little as the two approached, “I DO NOT KNOW… IT LOOKS LIKE A MESS.” He crossed his arms as he picked his way around the trash.

Mettaton placed a comforting hand on Papyrus’ back. “I know how much this bothers you, but it will be alright and it  **will** be all cleaned in the morning. I promise you it won’t keep me awake and I hope it won’t keep you up either.” 

Papyrus looked at Mettaton and sighed uncrossing his arms. “VERY WELL, IF THIS DOES NOT BOTHER YOU THAN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL NOT LET IT BOTHER ME. I TRUST YOU.” The matching duo shared a smile with each other that made it every clear they were dating. 

Toriel smiled warmly at the sight of them; Sans shifted behind her, but he didn’t say anything.  _ We are surrounded by happy couples these days… Perhaps- my lapse in  _ **_judgement_ ** _ could have been caused by of all of their romantic emotions surrounding us these last few months? … Oh, yes and maybe the humans have finally taught swine how to  _ **_fly_ ** _ … _

“Why, hello~ I hope all of you enjoyed the party!”, Mettaton said as he and Papyrus finally got close enough that they didn’t feel the need to yell. “Especially you two love birds~” 

Toriel stiffen and for half a second she thought Mettaton was talking about her and Sans, then Alphys said, “I loved it, b-but I can’t b-believe you set us up! I t-thought you’d b-been too pushy about m-me getting a ring.” 

Toriel relaxed and suddenly the relief that no one had seen them left her feeling very tired. She started to tune out the happy chatter around her as she felt her exhaustion increase the weight of her eyelids. Until she heard Papyrus’ voice. It had been sharp, not mean, just vaguely upset. 

“yup.”, Sans answered the call of his name. The others had gone quite at Papyrus’ outburst. She glance at Papyrus, he stood there arms crossed with a displeased look on his face; he wasn’t angry just, sort of exasperated. Then she glanced at the skeleton-monster sitting next to her, he’d shifted forward some so he could prop his head up on his hand which was resting on his knee. His feet were resting on the stool cushion and he look unbelievable bored- or tired… maybe, both. 

“YOU ARE DRUNK.” Papyrus said it the way someone would say ‘The sky is blue.’ It wasn’t a question, just a fact.

But Sans still answered, “thoroughly. can we go?” Papyrus’ stance and mild glare didn’t seem to be phasing him at all. 

Papyrus sighed. “CAN YOU EVEN WALK?” He asked as he made to help Sans get down. 

But before Papyrus could reach him, Sans pushed himself off of the bar and stood on the stool. “dunno, let’s find out.” And then he just stepped off the stool into open air. 

Toriel lurched, so did Undyne, they had both expected him to fall flat on his face, but he hadn’t. His untied shoe made contact with a bone about six inches lower than the stool seat, one that  **hadn’t** been there moments before. And it was holding him up. Then he took another step just like the first. His foot landed on another bone six inches below the first. His movements weren’t exaggeratedly slow or unsure, he was just walking normally… except midair on magical bones that appeared out of thin air. He took another step and another and then he reached the ground several feet away from the stool, as if he’d just walked down a few steps. But the steps vanished the moment he was no longer touching them and didn’t exist until the second before he needed them. His hands were nestled comfortably in his jacket pockets and Sans’ bored expression hadn’t changed. Hell, he hadn’t even looked where he was stepping. When he came to a stop in front of his brother, Papyrus just rolled his eyes at Sans. The shorter skeleton-monster shrugged, but Toriel couldn’t see his face. 

If Sans had been using magic, Toriel hadn’t seen it. Magic needed to be paired with a physical action in order for a monster to cast. Typically hand motions were used, but in some monsters’ cases wiggles or even tears were used to express their magic. And she  **knew** that Sans used gestures to cast, she’d seen him do it on more than one occasion, but he didn’t this time. The bones had just appeared and disappeared without any kind of cue… In all of her life she had never seen a monster do that, not during the War, not as Queen, not ever. It was surreal and just a little unnerving… and so very Sans-ish, it made her want to laugh- or cry… maybe, scream? She felt emotionally unstable and left it at that.

Undyne, apparently, had not found it as funny- or something, as she had. The warrior’s eyes widened in shock as she spun more fully around, “How in the hell-” But her words interrupted with the sound of a glass slipping off the bar. 

Toriel watched Undyne’s glove catch her glass, she watched as the fish-monsters rapid movement tugged it off the bar, she watched as it started to fall, but she could do nothing to stop it. She was too far away and too slow to even attempt a grab for it. She saw Undyne try for it, but the woman, despite her reflexes and physical prowess, was so hampered by alcohol her reaction time was just too slow. The glass was going to break and splash whiskey across the new hardwood floors. The impact would probably dent the wood and it was certainly going to ruin the finish. Toriel could feel herself wince as the cup seemed to fall in slow motion-

Sans caught it. 

He hadn’t been standing near enough to the stool to catch it, but he was now. He was right there, like he had just walked up to the bar, not like he’d been standing with his back to them. And the glass. It was just in his hand as if he’d had been holding it the whole time. It was just comfortably in his grasp, exactly the way he’d been holding it for most of the night. He looked tired and is eye-lights had dulled once more, the blurriness was back. Then he seemed to considered the cup for a moment, before draining the contents in one go. Sans plopped the empty glass down on the counter as though it was the most normal thing in the world. Him moving faster than a cup could fall and catch it without anyone seeing him do it was perfectly ordinary. 

He tucked his hand back into his pocket and turned back to Papyrus, fully prepared to ignore anything and everything they were going to say. “i’m good. let’s go.”, he continued disregarding everything that had just happened. 

Papyrus looked… peculiar. He had one hand curled against his teeth, the other crossed over his immaculate green vest, and he was watching Sans with slightly narrowed eye orbits. Papyrus looked like he was waiting for something to happen.  _ Other than Sans’ impossible feat? _

Nobody spoke, all eyes were on the two skeleton-monsters. They both seemed to be waiting for the other one to act. Finally, Papyrus did. 

Without pulling his hand away, he said in a calm non-negotiatory way, “I WILL NOT CARRY YOU TO THE CAR.”

Sans rolled his shoulder back and Toriel could just  **hear** his stupid smirk when he replied, “heh. that’s what you think.” And promptly collapsed. 

Mettaton release an ear-splitting electronic screech as Sans’ fell vaguely his his direction. The pop icon lept away from the downed skeleton-monster as if he were a bag full of rabid insendary snakes. 

At this exact moment, Undyne mouth agap announced with utmost certainty, “I can’t believe he’s FUCKING DEAD!” 

Papyrus who’d been watching Sans with an exasperated face, simply said, “WELL, DARN.” Before giving his robotic boyfriend and his best friend a very concerned looks. “METTATON? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” 

Mettaton, one hand pressed flat against his chassis, jabbed a finger at Sans and hissed, “What is  _ that _ ?” Sans’- ‘quirks’ seemed to have finally pushed the poor over-worked superstar over the edge. 

“THAT IS MY-” Papyrus shot Undyne a look, “VERY MUCH ALIVE, BROTHER. ARE YOU FEELING UNWELL? PERHAPS YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN AND RUN A SYSTEM DIAGNOSTIC?”

Mettaton seemed to have recollect himself some and shook his head, “No Pap, I am feeling fine… I just had not expected your brother to be so-” He made an electronic throat clearing sound, “theatrical. Faking a fall like that to shock us seems a bit- over the top, even for me.” He snarked at Sans’ motionless form. 

Toriel wanted to do something, she wanted to get up and check on Sans, she wanted Papyrus to answer some of her damned questions, she wanted to sleep, but instead she waited.  _ It always seemed to work for  _ **_him_ ** _ , besides Papyrus would be far more concerned if Sans was in any actual danger. _

“THAT WOULD BE BECAUSE HE DID NOT FAKE IT.” Papyrus explained, tiredly. Then with the utmost care one brother might have for his drunken sibling, he used the toe of his shoe and flipped Sans onto his back.

He was sound asleep. 

He’d just  **passed** out. 

One second he’d been using magic in ways monsters couldn’t and the next he was passed out drunk on the floor… 

 

_ Why did this have to be the monster who had knocked on my door? _

 

_.... I do not think I would give him up for all of the money in the world…  _

 

“Damn! He only had one drink, what a lightweight!”, Undyne cackled at the top of her lungs. 

Toriel refrained for pointing out the fact that, they’d had drinking competitions before and knew better-  _ Unless she did not  _ **_know_ ** _ better? Sans told me about them, but no one else has ever mentioned them doing such a thing… _ Toriel suddenly wished she’d recorded her conversation with him, because now she hadn’t a clue as to how much of their conversation had been things he hadn’t meant to say. Before she got carried away by her thoughts she saw Alphys blanch at Undyne’s statement. She clearly knew more than she was letting on… Toriel would have to talk to with Alphys at length. And Papyrus- well, he had this quietly resigned look about him. Toriel had already known she’d needed to talk to him, this was just one more thing to add to the list. 

“Somehow,” Mettaton began as he started to approach again, “I  _ seriously _ doubt that.” 

Undyne scowled at him and lurched to her feet. “Oh yeah!” But once she gotten to them, she seemed to have forgotten what she was upset about as she staggered slightly. From personal experience, Toriel assumed the world must have started moving without Undyne’s permission.  _ She must be the kind of drunk who is fine until they stop moving, then it hits them all at once. Poor soul will have the worst headache in the morning… I hope Sans does, too. _

But Papyrus was an excellent friend and promptly grabbed hold of the listing sailor scout. “UNDYNE, AS YOUR BEST FRIEND AND BEST MAN, I SINCERELY RECOMMEND YOU HOLD ON TO ME… PLEASE.”

Undyne seemed to focus on him, before her eyes started watering. “AWWW Pap! You’re gonna be my best man! I’m so FUCKIN’ HAPPY!”, she shouted and tried to stagger away from his grasp. “Alphie! Alphie, Baby! Did ya’ hear, Paps’ gonna be my best man at our wedding!” 

Alphys hopped off of her stool and approached her sloshed fiancee, “Yeah, I-I did. You know, when he told you y-yes a couple of hours a-ago. Babe, w-why don’t we go h-home?” And she took hold of Undyne’s free hand and gave it an encouraging tug towards the door. She was trying to help Papyrus guide the former Captain towards the door.

“Heck YES! And we’re gonna have hot just-engaged sex!”, Undyne cheered in excitement. Alphys blushed several fabulous shades of purple, and Papyrus looked like he wished that fact hadn’t just been shouted next to his head. 

“I-I-I-I- d-don’t k-know… h-how a-about w-we t-talk a-at h-h-home!”, squeaked the flustered lizards-monster. 

Undyne took that as her cue to start dragging both her lover and Papyrus towards the door, “Well then! LET’S GET GOING YOU, NERDS!!!”

Sans snored. 

Papyrus made a strangled sound as he glanced at Sans and then up at Mettaton as he was being half-dragged towards the door. The look could only be described as imploring. 

Mettaton of the other hand looked as if Papyrus had suggested he  **marry** Sans, instead of  _ carry _ him. Toriel very much wished she would remember this in the morning, just so she could tell this to Sans. It would make him twitch, uncomfortably. 

But with a small hand down gesture she freed Mettaton of the task and got to her feet. And she felt older for it. She might still look young, but her joints still ached some from all of their years of use and sitting in a backless chair for so long always left her stiff. “Do not worry, I shall collect him.”, Toriel called loud enough for Papyrus to hear her over Undyne’s battlecry. 

She was getting ready to charge the closed door, but it opened automatically before the fish warrior could kick it off it's very expensive hinges. The trio almost fell through it. 

“I SHALL CALL YOU TOMORROW AT ONE! GOODNIGHT METTATON AND THANK YOU FOR INVITING US INTO YOUR LOVELY, IF CURRENTLY MESSY, HOME!” Papyrus called over his shoulder as he both kept the group on their feet and lead them down the hall to Mettaton’s personal elevator. 

“Goodnight, Darling~ I cannot wait to hear from you! And I swear this place will be sparkling by lunchtime~”, Mettaton replied with a parting blown kiss.

At Toriel’s raised brow, he winked. She only shook her head and bent down to lift the- hee~  **dead weight** off of the ground. He hadn’t so much as twitched since Papyrus had flipped him over. Except for his ribs. They still expanded and contracted even though he was asleep and didn’t need to continue the charade; she wondered how he’d managed to teach himself to do that. 

She got her hands underneath him and lifted. It as if she wasn’t carrying anything, it always shocked her how little he weighed.  _ But he is so soft and squishy… how could anyone not want to hold him? _

“Maybe you should tell him that, Darling~ I’d love to see his reaction.”, Mettaton laughed. 

Toriel felt a blush start to form on her cheeks, she had not said that out loud had she? 

At her expression he let out a bark of laughter. “Don’t worry,  _ love _ . Your secret is safe with me~ Although he is small enough to be  _ your _ teddy bear, especially when you hold him like that.” crooned the robot. 

Toriel hadn’t realized she’d shifted him in her arms; she held tight against her, her arms wrapped around his chest… like Frisk held their stuffed dog from time to time. Hurriedly, she shifted him back into a more normal position, but she couldn’t stop her magical flush from deepening. 

She tried for an even sounding tone when she said, “Goodnight, Mettat-on.” But her voice cracked on the last syllable as Sans curled into her more. He pressed his face into her exposed collarbone and sighed a little. His breath was cold and wonderful as it shifted the fine hairs around her throat and blew across her flushed skin.

Toriel abandoned all decency as she fled from the knowing looks and the snickering that filled Mettaton’s apartment. All she could do was hope he’d keep his word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, there we go! The end of Halloween, at freaking last~ 
> 
> But seriously I really want to say Thanks, for sticking with me for so long and for putting up with my strange update schedule. I hope to have the next chapter finished soon!
> 
> Story Time:  
> So I'm a senior in college and my 21st birthday was in the beginning of November... Then I had to submit my applications for grad school and submit a proposal for my senior practicum project and then start collecting data for said project. Then finals and the holiday and SacAnime and 'What do you mean instruction starts tomorrow?!' Okay I think that's it, so now everyone's all caught up!
> 
> I didn't want to update with a 'Hey, I'll update soon' chapter because I really hate being on your end and getting my hopes up only to find out it wasn't a real chapter. 
> 
> [If anyone was at the Winter 2017 SacAnime con this year, send me a message and I'll tell you who I was cosplaying. Who knows maybe we ran into each other?]
> 
> Changing Subjects:  
> Okay, so I have a confession: I'm not a Teen rated writer... therefore I have some stuff that has more of an- Explicit rating. I won't include any of it in this fic, but if you want the smut that **belongs** in this fic here's the link [ http://archiveofourown.org/works/9373136/chapters/21219518 ]. The first chapter is just a more detailed explanation of what I'm talking about, so if you want more info you can read it without worrying about jumping straight into the sin.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry I had posted this earlier in the day, but some fuckery occurred with the uploading of the whole chapter. I think I finally fixed it. Warnings: minor gore, panic attack like events, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, mishandled depression, mentions of suicide, and hallucinations.
> 
> *Insert something witty about not uploading regularly*  
> *Insert something about the Sin Fic I'm writing and how one of the chapters occurs in between this one and the last if you care*

Sans yawned at his reflection. Per usual, it yawned back.

It made him laugh a little. For him the action was normal, comfortable even, but for everyone who wasn’t Papyrus, it was odd to say the least. They always made a wide variety of disconcerted expressions when he yawned. Sans was fairly sure it had **everything** to do with the fact that he almost never opened his mouth, let alone opening it that wide, and nothing to do with the weirdness of the action. Yawning wasn’t something skeletons needed to do, no lungs to inhale or exhale with, but for some reason it was still psychologically contagious. And hey, he was tired so it made sense on some level.

Sans leaned into the mirror and studied his bony face. Dark purplish smears stained the bones that made up the lower portion of his eye orbits; he was certain no amount of sleep would ever rid him of the discoloration. They were the side effect from over-exerting his eye lights, all those sleepless nights added up. Monsters might be made of magic, but too much of a good thing can have consequences. Besides, the stains were just part of life- well, his life anyway.

He moved onto his cheekbones, still rounded and smooth. A constant reminder that his features were trapped in a state of childlike youth; his eye orbits too circular, too wide, his frame too small, too slight. He sighed. He knew that he didn’t look like a child and no one who spoke to him ever made that mistake, but it still irked him from time to time knowing that his face held an innocence that he’d never really had.

Sans continued his visual catalog: his nasal ridge and frontal bone, his teeth with their elongated canids and mandible, all looked fine. Nothing was cracked or splintered, no old wounds there. His face looked fine, no injuries at all. That part had always surprised him; despite his clumsy childhood he’d never managed to crack something on his face or skull.

 

_even after the explosion… i damn near broke everything else, just not my head._

 

He sighed once more and rubbed at his exhausted eyes. He’d had another **not** -nightmare. It’d started in the usual way, he found a red scarf in the dust smeared snow. But this time nobody else had died, the human offered friendship and kindness to every other monster. Just not his brother.

All too soon they’d reached the castle and Sans had been forced to play his part. To confront, to warn, to threaten, but not react. No matter how much he’d hurt or grieved, he couldn’t allow himself to do anything else. They weren’t a threat to the timeline, not yet. And they had listened to him with this- bored expression, like they’d heard it all before, but when he’d commented about Papyrus…

Sans shivered in the dissipating steam.

He’d known he couldn’t- shouldn’t have let them see his grief, but he’d let his- his **hatred** slip through. And they’d _smiled_ . Like that had been what they were waiting for, to see him drop his well-crafted smile. They had wanted to see him _hate_ them, the way they’d hoped he would. They’d killed Papyrus **just** to see what Sans would do.

Then he’d woken up.

Sans kept thinking that he’d finally remember all of them, all of the loops, but it still hadn’t happened yet. He kept collecting more and more memories and scenes and snippets from lifetimes he’d lived, but that had cease to exist. They echoed around inside his skull, words and images, emotions and gore, all depicted in striking detail that no one else could remember.

At least he’d known about this timeline already; it’s horrors hadn’t been new to him.

He’d already remembered her majesty, Toriel, returning to the castle and Undyne overthrowing her before she’d ever had the chance to step down peacefully. He’d already remembered her heading back to the Ruins… and how he’d gone with her. They’d been- he wouldn’t say happy, but they’d been okay. He’d liked living with her, being able to end every day with another soul and a warm fire… but his grief had hollowed him out. He could joke and smile and pretend to be alright and she would laugh and smile and pretend she believed him. But they both knew that something inside of him was broken, they both knew that he would **never** be whole again. She’d said once that she’d known what that was like, being hollowed out by anguish, and that if he ever got better she’d like to know how he had done it.

But he’d never experienced that initial crashing wave of grief, that first shock of horrific disbelief and denial, not until now.

Now, he could remember it with excruciating clarity, every agonizing moment of it. How he had forced himself to trek through the Underground following the human; how he had watched as they never so much as touched another monster. They had killed Papyrus before, now he could remember the other loops, the other versions of the same situation, but the human had always been out for more than just one death in those timelines and he’d been forced to do more. To watch and stalk and observe. He was their judge, so he had better be damn sure he was **right** before he’d acted. There was no room for doubt… not when a promise he’d made hung in the balance; his words that day, at that door, had meant more to him than the old lady had probably meant them too.

Sans blew out a shaky breath, letting his magic swirl in the last of the steam. He could feel it stinging his eye sockets, threatening to manifest into more pointless tears. He’d already cried once today and it wasn’t even ten yet.

He’d woken up with tears dripping down his clammy bones. It had been a memory. He had known that the second he’d sat up and looked around his room. Cluttered and messy, full of star gazing paraphernalia, and sunlight haloing the bottom of his black out curtains. It was perfectly clear that he was on the Surface and that Papyrus was alive and well… but the tears kept dripping down his face. His bones kept up their muted chatter as he’d sat tangled in his sheets and wept silent tears for the loss he’d been forced to live with so many times over. His left eye-light kept flickering in and out of illumination as his emotions shook him, blue and yellow light had shimmered sporadically across his walls.

Somehow he’d managed to stagger out of his room, tears still blurring his vision, and stumble his way into the living area. Looking back on it, Sans hadn’t a goddamn clue what he’d been thinking. Shambling out of his room looking like death warmed over, tears rolling down his face. God, if Papyrus had actually been home, there’d have been no way he’d have been able to talk himself out of that one. But his brother hadn’t been home. No, Papyrus had decided to change his jogging route to take him by the store so he could pick up a few things for breakfast. He’d left a note on the kitchen table with Sans’ name written clearly across the top in all caps. Sans had had to read the letter several time before the tears had finally stopped.

It left him feeling like an emotionally unstable wreck, so he’d taken the time to grab a shower before his brother got back from his run. Skeleton-monsters didn’t sweat, per se… but Pap would still want a shower when he was done, just to rinse off the magical perspiration if nothing else. But it helped Sans recollect himself.

It was getting harder and harder to do that these days, pull himself together.

Every nightmare, every new memory, every flashback… it was just getting _so_ hard to remember how to be himself.

It had been a go-to for him when they’d been in the Underground, taking a shower. It helped him calm down… and it would let him wash off the blood, imagined or otherwise, without Papyrus noticing something was up. But on days like this, when he decided to take one just after waking up, he took the opportunity to evaluate… everything. How he looked, how his old injuries were feeling, which part of him hurt the most.

Today, he was going with his spine. Maybe he’d just slept wrong or maybe it was the dozens of well-healed microfracture that littered his vertebrae; he wasn’t really sure, but it still ached. Sans had had a lot of breaks in his life, some had been because he’d jumped off something that was too high, or because he’d tripped over his own damned feet and landed wrong. The three barely visible fractures that ran across his left proximal phalanges had been from when he’d been an idiot kid who had gotten into a fight with another equally stupid kid. He’d managed to break his hand decking the jerk, but the punch had broken said jerk’s nose so Sans had felt pretty happy with the outcome of that fight.

Most of his injuries were like that, barely visible, just a little discoloration between the fused halves; so old that they were invisible if you didn’t know what to look for. But he had several that weren’t so easy to overlook, mostly on his back. The explosion had been strong enough to throw him across the room. The fact that he’d lived at all was kind of stunning, so he didn’t begrudge the rough looking bone calluses. It would take time for them to heal enough to be imperceivable, like the others.

 

_but it’s the ones you can’t see that matter the most. they never heal…_

 

Sans let out another long sigh and decide he was done with his inspection. He scooped up his clothes with one hand and held his towel with the other before shuffling back down the hall to his bedroom. Sans had only barely remembered to grab his stuff before leaving the bathroom, lest he force Papyrus to actually follow through with his threat to bleach any of Sans’ clothes that were left on the bathroom floor.

His door closed behind him with a soft click and Sans chucked his dirty stuff to the other side of the bed; that was the dirty half of the room, all the clean stuff was on this side. Mostly. He gave his system an eighty percent accuracy rating for determining his clothes state of cleanliness. _and if i actually put things away then it’d be a hundred percent accurate._

Sans rifled through his mostly clean pile of clothes in search for things that he didn’t care about, in case they got covered in paint. He and Papyrus were heading over to Undyne’s and Alphys’ place to help the ‘empty nesters’ repaint Mettaton’s vacated room. They’d been de-glitterifying their house from the moment Mettaton’s moving truck had pulled away from the curb and they’d only just now reached the pop icon’s former room.

And somehow, Sans had been roped into this mess. He wasn’t entirely sure if they were actually going to expect him to help or not. But if Papyrus was bribing him with breakfast, then Sans knew at least his brother was going to expect him to put in the effort.

Finally, Sans snatched up some shorts and a shirt he loved the least and tugged them on. His phalanges reached for this hoodie, but stopped mid grab. He liked the hoodie, with its faded color, threadbare elbows, and patchy fur trimmed hood. He even liked the little hole that had started to form in the right pocket, but still wasn’t big enough to let anything slip through. He didn’t want to get paint on it… but he also didn’t want to **not** wear it. It was comforting, having his jacket on. Sans didn’t know why he was so attached to the damn thing… exactly. But when he wore it he felt like he was walking around with a well-loved blanket, except nobody gave him weird looks about it.

 

_i’ll just dismiss it into my inventory when we start with the actual painting part…_

 

Sans moved to grab the jacket off his bed, only to realize that while he’d been considering what to do with it, he’d pulled on the well-worn garment. A little laugh escaped him; he was such a creature of habit. He’d started worrying about one little thing so he’d put on his hoodie to make himself feel better, like a reflex. The jacket let him hide in plain sight, it was almost like a disguise; he’d known that, on some level. He knew that his hoodie was just another way to distance himself from everyone around him, to help him maintain that aloof disinterested attitude he’d needed to survive. This was just another reiteration of a problem Sans already knew he had, _one of many._

He didn’t want to think about this right now… he didn’t want to deal with anything at the moment; he just felt too **exhausted** to care. He still hadn’t had coffee and his soul kept threatening to fall apart in the wake of his- inaccurate emotional turmoil. All-in-all he felt completely justified in cutting himself some slack.

He climbed back into bed knowing full-well that he wouldn’t be able to sleep, but at least he could pretend to not be awake. If he just closed his eyes and stopped thinking, not about dreams or memories or anything, if he just let himself fall into blissful nothingness then he didn’t have to deal with it. He could just push it all off until some other time when he felt well enough to handle things like- having a life and friends and social expectations.

Despite the comfort of his bed and his well-loved hoodie, sleep refused to grace him, as predicted. His mind was too awake, too aware of every little thing he had to do today. He had to make sure he didn’t cry all over Papyrus when his brother finally got home. He had to at least pretend to try and help Undyne and Alphys paint. He had to try to act normal and happy instead of unstable and insane like he actually was. He had to keep an eye on Frisk; they started to develope this little tickle in the back of their throat and Sans didn’t want to let it become a full blow cold. He had to talk to Tori.

 

_crap._

 

_toriel…_

_god, what even are we?_

_are we even a ‘we’ or are we just an ‘us’… maybe we’re more of a ‘you n’ me’…_

 

He sighed loudly and rolled on to his stomach. They hadn’t spoken since Halloween; not face to face, anyway. They’d texted. A lot. About the conference in January and all the monster who’d agreed to go with them as their ‘royal entourage’. About Frisk’s eleventh birthday party next week. About the progress with her school’s construction. About his temp job. About her students. About anything and everything that wasn’t Halloween.

Which meant Sans had no idea where they stood with respect to what had almost happened. Did she even remember? Should he tell her or would that screw everything up? Or did she know and had decided to just ignore it and by bringing it up he’d be breaking some unspoken rule?

He had no fucking clue.

And just to make his life worse, now he had to deal with- with _everything_ Halloween had made painfully clear to him about his intentions with respect to Tori.

God, what even were his intentions?!

Toriel was-

She was lovely and smart and so unbelievable kind, but she was nobody’s fool. And she was funny, god she was down right hilarious when she wanted to be, with a wit so sharp and dry it could cut steel. She was- she was…

 

_good._

 

She was good. She was good to be around, she was good to know, she was a good soul. Toriel was just good.

But he’d known all of that, well before he’d ever laid eyes on her. Halloween had forced Sans to accept things he **didn’t** want to accept. Like the fact that he- might be, maybe… falling- for her.

 

_fuck._

 

He wasn’t just starting to fall, he was probably halfway to the ground by now. And sooner or later reality was going to catch up with him and he’d go splat. He **knew** this wouldn’t- couldn’t end well, Sans’ life never stayed stable long enough for that. He’d _known_ that, damn it, yet here he was lying face down in bed, pinning after someone he couldn’t have. He felt like an idiot.

And now, **now** he had to deal with the added tension from that aborted- _kiss_.

Even thinking the word made him flush; Sans pressed his face against the mattress and hoped it’d take it as an invitation to eat him. When no such thing occurred, he rolled back over and scrubbed at the tingling sensation his magic left across his facial bones.

Halloween had made it clear that he didn’t just want to be with her, he **wanted** her too. And apparently he was so bad at lying to himself about it that a little old lady had noticed… So either he had to deal with this or he’d just have to learn to damn well hide it better.

Sans knew exactly which option he’d prefer… but he still didn’t know how Toriel actually felt about any of this. Had Halloween been an accident? A drunken mistake? Or was it a lapse in control on her part, the way it had been for him? Sans just didn’t know.

So this was something else he’d just have to wait and deal with when he talked to her. He’d be able to get a better read on her when they talked face to face, _i hope_. If she was all awkward then she knew what had happened and didn’t want to talk about it, which was totally fine by him. But if she didn’t act weird then she didn’t remember and he’d just go on wholeheartedly ignoring the problem, like he wanted to.  

Sans kinda hoped the bed would change its mind about not wanting to eat him.

 

* * *

 

“pap, did ya’ get any sleep at all?”, Sans questioned as he glanced up from the stack of printouts in front of him.

“NYEH HEH HEH! HOW COULD I HAVE POSSIBLY CONSIDERED SLEEP WHEN THERE WAS RESEARCH TO BE DONE!”, Papyrus exclaimed as he dried a plate. “I MEAN CULINARY SCHOOL, SANS! WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED THAT THE HUMANS HAD INVENTED SUCH A PRESTIGIOUS FORM OF ARTISTIC EDUCATION! OBVIOUSLY THEY HAD HAD THE FORESIGHT TO PREPARE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREAT CHEF PAPYRUS... IN PROGRESS!”

Sans shuffled through the stapled school summations again. He had to admit, Papyrus was one hell of a researcher when he wanted to be. Each packet had the school's admission requirements, their academic calenders for the upcoming term, and hrk- their tuition statements. Culinary school was apparently not cheap, but they’d manage. Sans watched as Papyrus continued to clean up their breakfast dishes and had another sip of coffee. “their intuition knows no bounds.” Sans hummed.

Papyrus sent him a positively glowing smile, it was just so damned infections. Sans returned the smile around his mug. _i haven’t seen papyrus this happy- no, this… determined in ages. it’s like he’s discovered he could become a royal guard all over again._ Sans almost expected Papyrus to have filled out and submitted applications already.

Well- actually, all of them had online applications, so maybe he had.

“and you’re sure you wanna stay in the ebott area? ya’ know we don’t have to, i can be a temp anywhere.”, Sans asked again. Part of him wondered if that would make it easier. Moving was known to cut ties. It wouldn’t affect Papyrus, nobody wanted to lose that connection, but... maybe Sans could just- fall of the map? He could just fade away without a care, _without being noticed._

His soul churned in response to that last thought.

God, what was with him today? Normally, he’d leave all of this- baggage behind when he got out of bed. And he’d almost never kept it around for this long when he was with Papyrus… Was he getting worse? Or was he just still in a funk over his newest collection of memories?

Something dull started to ache behind his eye sockets. It felt, suspiciously, like the start of a temporal-displaction migraine. _maybe, i should just stop poking at this hornets’ nest for awhile..._

“OF COURSE I AM! I HAVE NO REASON TO WANT TO LEAVE. MY BEST FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED, MY TINIEST HUMAN FRIEND WILL BE HAVING THEIR ELEVENTH BIRTHDAY,” Papyrus began to tick off as he finished drying his hands. “CHEF RAMOS HAS DECIDED TO LET ME HELP WITH THE MORNING KITCHEN PREP, MY BOYFRIEND JUST GOT A NEW APARTMENT IN THE CITY,” Papyrus plucked his keys out of the snail bowl and gestured for Sans to follow him. Apparently, it was time to go, what a **pain** -t.

Sans snickered to himself as he downed the last of his coffee and graciously chose to _ignore_ Papyrus’ last statement about boyfriends and apartments. He stuffed his phone into his pocket and shuffled across the narrow space to put his empty mug in the sink. “MY BROTHER HAS FINALLY LEARNED ACCEPTABLE ROOMMATE BEHAVIORS,” Papyrus continued. Sans only snorted. He and Pap both knew nobody’d be leaving the house until that mug had made it into the sink, so why prolong the inevitable.

Sans shuffled out ahead of Papyrus and barely remembered to lift is slippered feet over the threshold. The damned hall was about an inch higher than the apartment, so any shuffling would result in tripping. Unlike Papyrus, he almost never left through the front door so it wasn’t a habit yet.

“MY BROTHER AND I HAVE FOUND A LOVELY APARTMENT WITH TENANT APPROVED ROOF ACCESS, I AM CLOSE TO ALL OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS AND FAMILY,” Papyrus went on as he locked up.

 

_he’s got quite a list…_

 

The skeleton duo made their way towards the stairs; Sans would have preferred the elevator, but Papyrus refused to let him use one for anything three floors or less. “I HAVE PLANNED OUT THE MOST EXCELLENT OF MORNING JOGGING ROUTES, AND ALL OF THE SCHOOLS I AM CONSIDERING ARE INCLUDING MONSTER FOOD CLASSES IN THEIR NEXT TERMS.” Papyrus finally finished.

And there was the real kicker. Papyrus had wanted both human and monster teachers and right now, only the lo-cal of Ebott could provide that. “welp, i’m glad to know this isn’t an impulse decision, you have such a high tendency for those…” Sans trailed off with a eye roll, his sarcasm blatant. Papyrus sent him a look of brotherly love, i.e. a glare of mild annoyance.

“AND-”, Papyrus continued, his voice echoing around the stairwell as they approached the ground floor. “-MY DEAREST BROTHER HAS DECIDED TO REVISIT HIS UNIVERSITY DAYS, BOTH EDUCATIONALLY AND PROFESSIONALLY. A MATTER OF GREAT IMPORTANCE.”

Sans glowered at his feet and pushed open the street level exit. “don’t remind me… and nothing’s official yet. it was just a- a tentative job offer. maybe.” Sans grumbled.

And that was another thing for Sans to add to the list of things he had to deal with; yesterday had been November the twelfth, so he’d gone to meet Dr. Ethan Quiggle at U of E.

With the nightmare and today’s trying schedule, the events from yesterday had nearly been swept from his mind. . .

 

[Yesterday Morning]

Sans stared up at the overcast sky and blew out his breath; it almost counted as a sigh.

 

_what am i doing here?_

 

He’d parked his motorcycle in the lot designated on the map the TAC coordinator, Mike- something, had given him. Sans had even hung the silly visitor parking pass over one of the roadster’s handlebar grips, but he still hadn’t gotten off the bike.

Luckily, Campbell Hall was one of the buildings that were accessible by a public road so he hadn’t even had to hunt for the damn thing. But that also meant he couldn’t bail with the excuse ‘sorry man, i got lost.’

The last couple of weeks this meeting had felt surreal. It was on his calendar, sure, but he’d been thinking of it as like- an inside joke that only he knew about. It had never felt real.

Now it did.

He was sitting on the University of Ebott’s campus staring up at the imposing seven story edifice that was the Astrophysics Department, complete with a domed telescope housing on its roof. The same domed observatorium he was just itching to inspect, poke, prod, and enthuse over, with a tour guide no less. One who happened to be one of the **leading experts** in stellar physics and galaxy formation.

And here he was in ripped jeans and a t-shirt that had a cartoon Pluto on it, declaring ‘I am a real planet!’. Sans felt amazingly under-dressed. He stuffed his phalanges into his jacket pockets and contemplated his options. It really only came down to one of two choices: staying or leaving. It was just a binary decision, yes or no. All he had to pick was yes… or no…

He just had to pick…

Something wet startled him out of his anxiety-driven musings. Then another something and another. The clouds above had reached full capacity and now were beginning to expel their excess water.

Sans had forgotten his helmet at home. Yes, Papyrus had insisted that he always wear one the moment Sans had purchased the powder blue and black ‘DEATH TRAP’, but Sans hated wearing it. Unless, of course, it was raining. Sans had discovered that eye orbits full of water made navigating all around more challenging.

 

 _i guess the universe got tired of waiting for me to choose…_  

 

With a huff Sans swung off his motorcycle and stuffed his keys into a pocket. It didn’t take long for him to meander across the parking lot, but the clouds had gotten impatient with him. Water began to beat the rapid tattoo of a song no one knew against all of the surround surfaces, including Sans’ skull. He could feel each and every one of the little droplet as they collided with the magic that protected his bones from pesky things like water, snow and most other objects.

The first time they had experienced rain on the Surface had been very interesting, standing in the down pour and just **feeling** it. The water, the vibrations the rain created, the smell of all that wet rehydrating the dry surroundings. Sometimes if he didn’t have anything better to do, he’d go and sit in the park and just enjoy the sensations of something so common in Waterfall occurring somewhere so new. Although, Waterfall had always been wet, and the ‘rain’ had just been condensed water dripping down off the caverns’ stalactites. Unlike Snowdin, of course.

They’d had semi-artificial clouds producing their snow. The clouds had been a natural magical phenomenon caused by the trapped ambient magical radiation. A product of the over-crowded old Capitol population, so to speak. The story was that the great ritualists of old hadn’t figured out how to contain all of the excess magical emissions the massive population of trapped monsters were creating, so they had diverted it down into the uninhabited parts of the unexplored cavern network. Over the years the magical runoff had built up until the, then not entirely understood, principle of unincorporated magical instability took over. The cascade of solidified magic had manifested into fascinating underground variations of surface life and established the awkward and temporally-locked cavern biomes. Hence, the forests without sunlight, flowers that echoed, mushrooms that squeaked, and of course the permanent winter of Snowdin. Which explained why Asgore, the King of Terrible Names, had named the delightful town such upon the kingdom’s first pilgrimage deeper into their subterranean world. _i wonder if fluffybutt knew he’d named the town a pun... or had tori noticed and refused to let anyone change it…_

“Hey- um… monster person, you can’t stand there.” A tentative voice said, jarring Sans from his thoughts. Sans had managed to wander into Campbell Hall, but he’d just parked himself against a door next to the elevators instead of getting on one.

Sans blinked at the stranger who was watching at him with undisguised curiosity. Sans wanted to flinch away from the man’s intrusive stare, but he repressed it. He knew he was odd even by monster standards; there just weren’t very many skeleton-monsters left so this kind of thing was something to be expected… just not accepted. “uh. and why’s that _human person_?”

The man looked slightly taken aback, maybe he hadn’t expected Sans to sound the way he did? _short monster, deep voice._ But when the man spoke again, he surprised Sans. “Oh- I was rude, wasn’t I? I hadn’t meant that to sound like an insult or anything and I’m sorry if it did.”

“it’s all good, man. it happens.” Sans nodded and felt a little relieved to not have to correct him more explicitly. He **would** have, but Sans was glad he didn’t have to start his visit to the campus by making enemies.

The man nodded once in acceptance, but he still didn’t move on. After several more moment of awkward silence he cleared his throat. “You, uh- You still can’t stand there, though. It’s the door to the stairwell.” He kindly pointed out.

“it’s- huh?”, Sans muttered. He stepped away from the door and looked over his shoulder to get a better look. And sure enough, clearly painted in big capital letters read ‘STAIRS’ across the metal door. “oh, oops. here, i’m being a hazard and you’re just trying ta’ help a guy out… sorry.” Sans apologized. And he moved to wait on the other side of the narrow hall, leaning against an un-doorway-ed section of wall.

That won him a flash of a grin from the man. Now, that Sans wasn’t so focused on the conversations- um, potentially uncomfortable direction, he really took in the appearance of the stranger.

The guy was probably Papyrus’ height, maybe a little taller, with scraggly long-ish brown hair pulled into a messy tail at the nape of his neck. His round glasses were perched high on his hawkish nose and if his wireframes had been thicker they might have been able to hide the signs of crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes. He looked all around disheveled with an unbuttoned untucked dress shirt chucked pell mell over a wrinkled t-shirt. The shirt’s graphic depicted the Minecraft periodic table of elements, in high resolution.

“Oh no, it’s no problem. I just know that that door gets thrown open without a care in the world for the passersby out here. I have been smacked by it too many time to let someone else fall victim to it’s aluminum clutches.” He responded with a laugh, but he made no move to leave or press the elevator’s call button just behind him.

“ouch. sound’s like that must have been **jarring.** so thanks for the warning.” Sans laughed and hoped that ended the conversation. He still needed to build up the nerve to actually go upstairs and find Dr. Ethan Quiggle’s office. The stranger didn’t leave.

But he did snicker.

“Oh- oh man. That was awful, like impressively awful. I’ve never been good at making puns, but my daughters just love them.” The amusement and tenderness on his face looked genuine. It pulled at Sans’ heart a little, but he wasn’t sure why.

“heh. welp, feel free to use my material, man. and i hope ya’ **knock** ‘em dead with it.” Sans winked. So he hadn’t wanted to stand around and talk with some random dude in the lobby/hallway of the astrophysics building, but at least the guy liked his jokes.

His conversationalist threw his head back and laughed. Sans felt his smile grow a little in response. “I- Thank you. I get that you probably don’t want to stand here and talk with some stranger, but I really needed that, so thanks. I’m already late for this meeting with- well, with someone important and I’ve been working myself up about it all week. So at least now the day hasn’t been a complete waste of time.” The man confided.

“anytime. sides’ what are strangers for?”, Sans said with a shrug and felt secretly relieved that he wasn’t the only one with something terrifying on his plate for today.

“Right. Well, I should be heading up.” The man shuffled to the other wall to push the call button with a bit of a smile and tried not to let the cuffs of his pants get caught under his sandaled heels. The elevator began to move down towards the lobby. “I’m Ethan, by the way.”

Without thinking Sans just nodded and replied, “sans. nice to meetcha…” But he trailed off as the man’s name registered in Sans’ mind. _ethan... oh god-_

And at Sans’ name the same look of understanding washed over Ethan’s face. “D-dr. Sans Gaster, by chance?” He questioned in befuddled embarrassment.

Sans nodded and muttered, “yeah… so you- uh, must be dr. ethan quiggle.”

The elevator signalling _*Ding*_ of arrival was drowned out by the pairs embarrassed and weirdly relieved laughter.

 

[This Morning]

Despite, or maybe because of, their odd first meeting the rest of the tour had gone well. No, that wasn’t right, the tour had been **fantastic**.

Ethan had started by showing him around the top floor, giving Sans splendid word pictures of the people who belonged to the names posted outside office doors. Then the pair had gone up to the roof and Sans’ guide had explained all about the kinds of research the massive telescope had been used for. Now, of course, the university and surrounding city had grown too large for the telescopes old sensors to pick the kinds of data they needed, too much light pollution. But instead of letting the beauty fall into disrepair they let undergrads use the telescope and take a more hands on approach to their education. Stellar navigation and identification was a fascinating subject, even to the non-space oriented students.

 _‘Of course, all of the members of our department have keys to the roof and the observatorium, for personal use’_ , Ethan had explained with a smirk. At that new drop of information, Sans had wondered if his eye-lights had stayed round or if they had taken on a more- fitting shape.

Then after they discussed the telescopes specs, at length, Ethan had gone on to explain to Sans about his current work, as well as the projects his colleges were investing time in. Sans had felt like a sponge trying to soak up as much information as he could before the next drought. He also had to make sure he didn’t start giggling randomly, like a psychopath in a candy store.

Unfortunately, reality had finally caught up with Sans and he’d had to explain to Ethan that he hadn’t been active in his field for years and that a large majority of Sans’ research was classified. He’d expected the glimmer of hope in Ethan’s eyes to die as he realized Sans wasn’t a good candidate for the kind of position the man had obviously been hoping to lure Sans into, but it hadn’t. Ethan had shrugged it off, as long as Sans still understood how metaphysics worked he didn’t care if Sans hadn’t worked in a hundred years. They need someone with magical expertise to work as a consultant and associate professor. ‘... _A sort of compendium of magical physics. Don’t get me wrong the quantum department will be absolutely thrilled to have a new face to shout at over your- hmm, controversial papers; especially, your_ _face. But_ ** _everyone_** _wants an expert of magic and magical properties on their campus right now._ ’ Ethan had elaborated. _‘Besides, half our faculty get politely kidnapped from time to time by our own government, so we all know what_ ** _Classified_** _does to a CV.’_

So they’d talked and talked and talked. Ethan had told Sans that lots of professors would often continue their education while they taught so if that was something he wanted to do, he could. They had talked about working out a schedule for lectures and seminars that meant Sans wouldn’t have to go out on a lecture circuit, he could stay right here and make everyone come to him.

That had made Sans snicker; he wasn’t a lecturer.

And when Sans had said as much, Ethan had hummed and hawed over it. Eventually, he’d gotten it out of the skeleton-monster that it wasn’t that Sans didn’t like lecturing it was just that he’d never done it before. Sans had shivered at the malicious look that spread across the other man’s face and his quick scribble of ‘ _2yr TA requ._ _Mandatory_ ’, didn’t sit well with him. But everything else on Ethan’s growing list of ‘what the university expects of you’ and ‘what you expect from the university’ filled his soul with-

 

Filled his soul with… with- **hope**.

 

It was an old feeling, one he hadn’t had in years. It reminded him a bright-eyed young man with dreams of freedom and hopes for new discoveries. It reminded him of the old doctor and the late nights they had spent scheming for a better life, not just for them but for all of monster-kind. And when Sans had climbed back onto his bike and really thought about what having hope meant…

It scared the hell out of him.

So Sans really didn’t want to think about it. About his future, or the university, or what happens next. Sans **knew** what having hope meant.

 

_… now you have something to lose when it all resets. because it will._

 

“BROTHER, WE HAVE ARRIVED!”, Papyrus’ words were followed by a brotherly poke in the ribs.

Sans blinked and looked around. Somehow, he’d arrived at Undyne and Alphys’ place without the wits to try and fall asleep before they’d gotten there. He’d been thinking too hard about- not thinking.

At Sans’ undoubtedly confused expression, Papyrus scoffed and started to climb out of his car. “YOU WERE SO FOCUSED ON PRACTICING YOUR ANTI-HEROIC STYLE BROODING I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM NOT SURPRISED THAT YOU ARE STARTLED BY OUR SUDDEN CHANGE IN SURROUNDINGS. MY DRIVING WAS SO WONDERFUL YOU HADN’T A CHANCE OF NOTICING THE EXPERT VEHICULAR HANDLING OF MY DREAM CAR! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Sans let his head fall back against the seat with a sigh and felt his eyes slip closed. Then with a force of will he was surprised he still possessed, Sans opened his eyes and climbed out after his brother. “i wasn’t brooding, paps. i was trying to teach myself to sleep with my eye-lights on. it was quite the **zzzzz-en** experience.” Sans countered with a smile and at his pun he’d let his skull loll to the side like he was asleep.

Papyrus sent him an appalled look; it made Sans laugh. But as Papyrus turned back around, Sans saw something flicker across his brother’s face. _why’d pap look relieved? i mean, i space sometimes so he's gotta be used to that by now. was it something else? has he noticed that i’m not feelin’- feelin’ up to par right now? i don’t think i let anything slip, not at breakfast or while we’d talked-_

Sans managed to stop just in time; he almost walked face first into Papyrus. His brother had stopped at their friends’ doorstep, waiting for one of the two monsters inside to come let them in. Sans tried to shake his head clear, it would be no damned good to keep a smile on his face if he didn’t act the part. At this rate he wouldn’t be able to fool Toriel and Frisk, not if Papyrus was already starting to notice- notice what? _what am i doing that’s making pap suspicious?_

“Yo! Pap! You don’t gotta knock when you come over, just walk in!”, Undyne declared as she pulled the door open. “That’s what being my bestie means!” She continued as she tugged the skeleton-monster into her house and a headlock.

“AHCK!”, declared the taller skeleton-monster as he was almost yanked off his feet. He was just as surprised as always, when Undyne chose to greet her friend with an amiable attack.

Sans followed the pair in and tried to remember how to smile the way he normally did when Undyne and Papyrus acted like this. “Hey, Sans. You gotta knock.” Undyne announced with a finger jab in his direction as Papyrus freed himself from her scaly grasp. Sans lazily waved his greeting back.

“DESPITE OUR STATUS AS BESTIES, IT IS STILL IMPOLITE TO WALK INTO A FRIEND’S HOUSE WITHOUT AN INVITATION.” Papyrus explained as he straightened his MTT brand painting shirt. The white one-shouldered smock top had the words ‘Paint me a Rainbow’ stamped in glittery black letters across the front. Apparently, it was designed to be worn when painting so you could add smears of color to the garment with every project. Like a wearable collage of your artistic endeavors.

“Not if I give you permission ta’ not ask for permission, you goober!” Undyne cackled in sharp-toothed delight. She was in quite a good mood, for having to deal with a Mettaton-related problem today. _what’s she up to-_

 

_stop it. god, i’m getting paranoid. just fuckin’ relax._

 

Easier thought than done.

“Now! Let’s go paint over some eye-searing magenta!” Undyne shouted and charged up stairs. Clearly, she was just eager to get started… _yeah, right_.

But Papyrus followed after his best friend with unmatched enthusiasm; Sans shuffled after the them.

When he was halfway up the stairs, the doorbell rang. Papyrus, at the top step, paused his forward momentum and turned with Sans to look back down the stairs and peer at the front door. The slaps of bare feet on wood reclaimed their attention as Undyne reappeared. “That must be Frisk and Toriel! Hey, Pap could you go and let ‘em in for me?”, the warrior asked.

“WHY CAN’T SANS? HE IS CLOSER, BESIDES GOING UP AND DOWN THE STAIR A FEW MORE TIMES IS GOOD FOR HIM.” His brother announced, ruthlessly.

Sans rolled his eye-lights. Papyrus had been on a huge health jag recently and after rearranging his own life he’d taken it upon himself to rearrange Sans’.

“Uhh….. ‘Cause you’re nicer.”, Undyne said unconvincingly. Clearly, she wanted Papyrus to do what she’d asked, but Undyne had never been very good at verbal manipulation. Sans couldn’t see Papyrus’ face, but Undyne’s expressive one told him that Papyrus was giving her a suspicious look.

So Sans intervened. “come on pap, you can’t expect me to climb stairs and paint. ‘sides if tori and the kid are really on the other side of that door, do you want me ta’ be the one to answer their knocks? we might get stuck there for hours.”

At Papyrus’ blanche, Sans knew he’d struck home. Which meant now he could figure out what Undyne was up to, without having to dodge around his brother’s curious gaze. Doubt narrowed Undyne’s eye, but she seemed to let Sans’ actions go as Papyrus said, “FINE, BUT IT IS ONLY BECAUSE I WISH TO SPARE EVERYONE THE AGONY YOUR TERRIBLE SENSE OF HUMOR INVOKES.” He spun on his heels and bounced back down the stairs, bypassing Sans as he went. Uncertainty colored his face, but Papyrus didn’t seem ready to act on it, so Sans continued his climb.

Instead of dashing back down the hall, Undyne waited for him at the top of the stairs. Her eye was watching him with the utmost interest, then she gestured for him to walk ahead of her. It made Sans’ shoulders tense, but he complied, if only to see what she was up to. _just because i’m paranoid doesn’t mean that someone isn’t out to get me…_

As they strolled down the hall Sans figured he might as well make polite conversation, mostly to distract himself from the sudden and very unsettling sense of deja vu that washed over him. “so what color’s replacin’ the eye-bleeding pink?”

“Alphys and I decided on this wicked blue-gray color, which happens to the exact shade of Mew Mew Kissie Cuties best friend’s hair.” She declared proudly. Sans glanced over his shoulder to get a look at her face and almost stopped dead.

Recognition crashed over him. He **remembered** why this was familiar… Undyne the Captain of the Royal Guard escorting him down a dark hall, just the two of them, his fate doomed the moment they stepped through the door in front of him.

 

_He’d thought it be cold. The stone. He wasn’t wearing shoes so his metatarsals just scraped against the masonry. Undyne, in full armor, clanked quietly as she walked with him._

_Ha!_

_As she... escorted him._

_He considered what it meant, the quiet of the hall. Perhaps it was meaningful, that only she made noise as they walked. Even his shackles had gone silent, it was a shame. They’d have echoed splendidly off the carved walls._

_The end grew nearer, both figuratively and literally. But his- heh,_ **_guard_ ** _still hadn’t looked at him. He was her charge, her- responsibility, shouldn’t she be keeping an eye on him?_

 

_only the guilty avoid eye contact…_

 

_Maybe, she was sorry. Maybe, she knew how much this will hurt P-, his brother? Well, if that were true then she wouldn’t have volunteered for this. This wasn’t her job._

_Maybe she wants to make sure no one_ **_fucks_ ** _this up?_

_You can’t risk letting a rabid dog escaping, now can you? She was their protector, their guardian. She had to make sure nothing goes wrong, to make sure that no one else got hurt…_

 

_aren’t you a little late for that…_

 

_They reached the door. He didn’t think it a very good knock profile, it wouldn’t be a good joke door. Undyne shifted, her helmet still under her arm, and finally looked over at the mutt she was going to put down. He didn’t bother to return her the courtesy. Her face was filled with-_

 

**_H o w  d a r e  s h e._ **

 

 _That wasn’t the remorse of a friend, that was the guilt of a soul in the wrong! She_ **_dared_ ** _to doubt her actions! Now! After everything- after the_ **_months_ ** _of Hell. She doubted herself!_

_They should have muzzled him._

_Before she could open her mouth, Sans let his disused voice ring out in the hideous silence._

_“don’t tell me you are getting cold feet,_ **_captain._ ** _”_

_She flinched, her doubt contorted into shock. Sans didn’t let her regain her footing._

_“if you don’t go through with this-”_

_He let his gaze finally fall on her._

_“_ **_H e a d s  w i l l  r o l l ._ ** _”_

_Her magic had never suited her, nor the nausea that washed across her features; green just wasn’t a good color for fish-monsters. All hope died in her eye, it left Sans feeling... nothing._

_He didn’t feel anything anymore._

_His head slowly turned forward again, he was done playing this game. It was finally over. Someone would finally let him stop._

_Undyne pulled her helmet over her pained features._

_She place a gloved hand on the solid stone door._

_The lock disengaged._

 

_i hope my death haunts you for the rest of your life._

 

Sans jerked his head back around and swallowed hard, trying to keep his nausea contained.

He wasn’t _in_ the Underground, and that had happened **_years_ ** ago. It shouldn’t- didn’t matter anymore. Sans couldn’t _let_ it matter. Because if he broke, if he let it affect him even for a moment, he’d shatter. All the control in the world wouldn’t be able to keep that torrent contained, not after- after-

His magic churned mutinously- something else. He had to think about something else, anything else-

The door.

It sat at the end of the hall, wooden and plain with a round brass knob. It wasn’t the same one. It wasn’t the giant stone structure, ancient and ominous. It wasn’t the one he remembered. So it couldn’t have that sterile white room on the other side, not with it’s handful of souls who were to watch his execution, not with the block waiting for his head- What waited for him on the other side wasn’t death. It- it was Alphys, and a neon pink room, and a few buckets of paint. It was normal and calm and fine-

Everything would be fine. He just had to open the door, just had to confirm that it was exactly what he thought it should be.

Sans could hear Undyne saying something, but he didn’t bother to listen to her words. They didn’t matter, he just needed to open that door. He just had to prove to himself that he was on the Surface and that he was fine, everything was fine and- and- and-

He shoved the cracked door open-

Above the door something moved-

Sans flinched-

And time stopped.

 

* * *

 

Sans scrubbed at his eye-lights, trying to stop the tears from forming in them. He’d spent the better part of five minutes gasping and shuddering uncontrollably, he need to actually calm down before he ran out of time.

He felt so _fucking_ stupid!

Nothing about him and Undyne walking down the hall had been like that moment. He was in her house and Papyrus was right downstairs, they were on the goddamn Surface! It wasn’t the same, not even a little. Besides- all of that had happened years and years ago, he had thought he’d gotten over it already. Just water under the bridge, right!?

Sans scrubbed at his face again and force his rapid breathing to slow. Once they’d slowed down enough Sans turned around to face Undyne.

She stood frozen in time, a hand reaching out to- To touch him? To stop him? Sans wasn’t sure. Her expressive face appeared to be caught between expressions, worry and alarm? Confusion and apprehension? Again he couldn’t really tell. That was the problem with time stops, it left him cut off from the motions and emotions that would be visible on a moving face. He couldn’t remember what she had been trying to say either, so her words or warning weren’t a help to him.

Sans turned back around and studied the room in front of him, his shivering was starting to quiet down.

Alphys had her phone up and poised, ready to capture something. Her face was easier to read than her fiance’s, she looked confused. Likely whatever Undyne had said, she had heard and had been starting to react to it when Sans rudely interrupted the flow of time. The rest of the room was exactly the way he’d expected it to be, albeit a bit more muted.

Stopping time seemed to always have that effect, though. Anything that wasn’t caught in his circle appeared to be dim and dull, like someone switched off most of the lights and muddied all of the colors. The fact that Sans could see out his time-distortion bubble at all, lead him to believe that he wasn’t actually stopping time or at least not entirely. Without time light wouldn’t be able to move and the world around him would have looked pitchy and void of all light.

So instead of eye-bleeding fuchsia, the walls of the room looked matte and dim. Still entirely repellent, but at least it didn’t make him want to squint. Scattered around the lizard-monster were all kinds of painting supplies, including several large paint buckets, stir sticks, and rollers. They must have yanked up the carpeting earlier in the week, because the plywood lay exposed underneath the clear plastic sheeting. The room would have been bright, with the blinds tugged up, the smell of wood would be permeating the air. It would have been nice.

Sans let out another shaky breath. Yes, everything would have been fine if it weren’t for the bucket suspended above him. It was starting to tip, ready to spill its contents on whoever opened the door. And right now that was Sans.

The thick orange plastic made it impossible to tell what or how much of it was in the bucket, but Sans knew without a doubt it was filled with something. That’s how this prank worked, right? It was the old bucket-over-the-door cliche, one Sans had never managed to do before. Something that might have been a smile tugged at his cheekbones, had this been what they were planning? All of Undyne’s suspicious behavior? Had she and Alphys been trying to lay a trap for him, something harmless and fun?

His magic bubbled with relief. He had been both right and wrong; his paranoia founded, but not dangerous. A prank war. That’s what they’d been trying to start, heh- or well, that would have been the result of this little trick… And to think here he’d been actually planning on helping, maybe.

Except, he’d ruined it. It wasn’t a surprise anymore, not now that he could see it coming. Sans could easily step out of the way of the bucket. Undyne wasn’t close enough to him to be in the way and with the two open doors behind him, he could simply back out of the way and let Undyne take the brunt of the splatter damage. It’d be simple, and easy, and quick. It would also be boring and unfair.

 

They didn’t know he could stop time, that it was almost a reflex for him. They couldn’t plan around that, leaving him with an unfair advantage, as if he wasn’t weird enough already. Appearing to have precognition would surely shove him far into the realm of abnormal, past the point of it being excusable. It would ruin or staunch any further plans they’d tried to make to play this game with him, they’d cut him out of it.

But he wanted that, didn’t he? He wanted to be pushed away and forgotten, right? That would make dy- disappearing easier, wouldn’t it?

So what did he want? Did he want to stay and be included? Or did he want to escape and run away? In five years where did he want to be?

_…_

 

In one year?

_…_

 

In six months?

_…_

 

In a month?

_…_

 

In a **week**?

_…_

 

 **Tomorrow**!?

_..._

_here..._

_i want to be here tomorrow._

 

Sans felt his soul twist in his chest, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of his indecision or because of his choice. But he did have an answer, so at least that was something.

He didn’t however, actually want to be covered in whatever waited for him in that bucket, so he had to figure out what to do. Sans contemplated the bucket for several long moments when suddenly his magic wavered. The magic holding the temporal lock was almost gone, he was figuratively out of time and soon to be literally popped back into it.

In his last remaining moments, Sans hurriedly took a step away from the door trying to minimize how much of the bucket’s contents got on him and with a flick of his wrist dismissed his phone into his inventory. He really didn’t want to ruin it, getting a new one was such a pain. The bubbled shimmered once more and with a pop only audible to himself, broke apart. Sans snapped his eyes closed, he might not have been able to quite fake a surprised look just yet, but at least it looked like an normal reaction when something falls on you.

Sans felt his hands slip comfortably into his pockets, he was ready to deal with whatever happened next-

 

_pockets... coat…_

_fuck, i’ve still got my hoodie on-_

 

*Sploos- **kra** thunk*

 

Something cold splashed onto him. The plastic crinkled at the sudden contact of something heavy and wet colliding with the floor it covered.

Sans didn’t want to open his eyes. If he did then it would mean whatever concoction that had just splashed onto him had just splattered across his hoodie, as well. If he saw the damage then it would be real.

 

_maybe, they just filled it with water…_

_please, let this just be water._

 

“H-Ha!”, shouted a triumphant Alphys, “We finally got you!” He could hear her bare scaly feet crinkle more of the plastic sheeting as she moved.

“Y-Yeah!”, echoed a slightly less enthusiastic Undyne from behind him. She’d realized something was wrong before he’d stopped time. Damnit, that was just one more thing he was going to have to deal with.

“And I g-got the whole thing on c-camera!”, his friend continued excitedly. Sans wanted to be happy for her, for her victory. He’d never disliked being pranked before and he didn’t want to start now. It was just too hypocritical, even for him.

So Sans shoved his anger down and locked it up with his anxiety. Anxiety that was whispering death in his ear, echoed by this growing sense of unease that was starting to fill his rib cage. Sans pushed it all away and opened his eyes. Sarcastic words hot on his tongue, ready to tease his friend for not completely getting him when something wet caught his eye.

On the door there were these little red speckles, like someone flicked a wet paint brush at it. They hadn’t been there when he’d closed his eyes.

His gaze was pulled down, almost in slow motion, like his whole world began to collapse and fold into itself.

It reminded him of what dying felt like, but slower.

Red.

So much red.

It was all he could see. Just the huge **_red_ ** puddle at his feet.

The cold coagulated mess was being soaked up by his slippers.

 

_like it always does… the human’s blood always pools and glitters in gory puddles. my slippers always seem to take the brunt of the mess, probably ‘cause i have to walk through it…_

 

Sans thought he should be screaming. But he wasn’t.

Sans thought he should have stopped time. But he hadn’t.

His mind could only watch as the dark red liquid rolled and dripped _onto the yellow tiles_.

 

_He’d spent hours staring at the human’s blood before, waiting for them to load. They always came back so he’d never seen any point in going anywhere, not when he’d just appear back here with a hideous sense of deja vu._

_This was no different. He’d just wait for their_ ~~_tiny_~~ _corpse to vanish, for the blood to evaporate and the fight to start anew. Where was_ _~~Frisk’s~~ _ _their body anyway? Shouldn’t he_ ~~_protect_~~ _capture their soul? Asgore needed it to free them…_ ~~_whoever was left_~~ _._

 _Sans let his eyes track up to gaze around the stain-glass hall._ ~~Hot pink bedroom~~. _He couldn’t find their body, in fact the only place in the whole room that had blood on it was where he was standing. Except, he wasn’t alone._

_Dr. Alphys stood in front of him, glasses cracked. Her hunched shoulders covered by a tattered dust-smeared lab coat. A frayed electrical cable was pulled tightly around her neck._

_“W-why didn’t you h-help me, <Sans>?” _

~~“S-sans? Are you okay?”~~

_“Wasn’t I y-your friend? Why d-did you l-let me <die>, <Sans>?” _

~~“Sans? Sans! What is it! W-what’s wrong!?”~~

_“Y-you only wanted to watch m-me fail. That’s w-why you d-didn’t tell me ab-bout your <DT Experiments>. T-that’s why y-you let me <mutilate> all of t-those monsters!” _

~~“Your eye! S-Sans I think y-your magic’s destabilizing! You h-have to control it! Undyne wait-”~~

_Sans felt the shift of something behind him. Was_ ~~_Frisk_~~ _the human still alive? Was that why they hadn’t reset? Sans whirled to face what had tried to sneak up on him. His hand crackled with pale blue magic; it jumped from between his fingers in jagged arcs, between each blue coil of power shot near-electrical looking bolts of yellow magic. Even to his own mind it looked wild and violent, but that wasn’t what mattered._

 _Behind him stood Undyne the Undying. Her once splendid and awe-some armor was marred and scarred. Her unpatched eye a gaping whole in her head and dark_ **_dark_ ** _green magic seeped from it. Her magic had flecks of red in it. Her features were muddied and smeared like they were melting off of her bones._

 _“You. Gutless_ **_. Fucking. Coward_ ** _! You never tried to stop them, they <killed> everyone you ever cared about and you just let them go!” _

~~“Sans! Oh my God! Deep breaths, just stop for a sec.”~~

_“They cut off <Papyrus’> head and you didn’t even flinch! How many time have you watch him <die>?! How many times did you _ **_let_ ** _him <die>!” _

~~“Sans. Please. You need to try and take a few deep breaths. Can you even hear me? You’ve gotta focus on me for a second. Alph go get Pap.”~~

_The guard captain reached for him, flesh sloughing off of her outstretched hand. The gore splattered onto the tiled floor in grotesque wet plops; her fingers had all but disintegrated._

 

_‘When two or more magical fungal subjects from Group B come into contact with one another, their magics and physiological structures attempt to fuse. 56% probability of stabilization, without this action the subjects have a 100% mortality rate due to DT-destabilization. <Possibly an example of self-preservation?>’ _

 

_The text came back to Sans like a slap in the face._

_He couldn’t let her touch him._

_He could not let her touch him._

_He_ **_would not_ ** _let her touch him-_

 

“Is everything alright up there?”, called out a melodic voice.

“YES, LADY TORIEL IS QUITE RIGHT! WE HEARD A LOUD THUD AND RAISED VOICES! BROTHER YOU BETTER NOT HAVE TRIED ONE OF YOUR POORLY TIMED TRICKS ON OUR FRIENDS!”, an unmistakable voice announced as it followed the words of the other voice up the stairs.

“Yeah! I hope you guys didn’t start without us!”, a voice filled with childish delight declared as small foot fall could be heard starting up the carpeted stairs.

Sans stared at Undyne. Her eye wide in panicked shock, the other covered by her habitual eye patch. Her head began to turn towards the child who’d started running up the stairs, her ponytailed hair bounced with the movement. Her outstretched hand started to recoil. Some strobing light, _from behind me?_ , made her blue iridescent scales glitter. Sans continued to step away from her and something blinding flashed out of the corner of his vision.

A mirror, above the sink. The bathroom’s door had been left open and more plastic sheeting stretched into it, clearly it had been designated as the washing station for this project.

Sans saw his reflection.

The grinning **creature** that stared back, terrified him.

Its chest was splattered with dark red blood, smaller flecks of blood had reached its skull and speckled the thing’s grinning teeth. The droplets were too small to start dripping off of its face, so there they stayed like a horrible mocker of freckles. Its bony hand trapped in a claw like shape, with thin phalanges reaching for Sans. The thing’s magic gushed uncontrollably from those twisted fingers, blue spurts of sharp angular light with yellow arcs and spines exploding randomly out of each blue blob. This macabre show was echoed higher on its face, as magic poured from an eye socket. The other hollow and empty. It held no life, no love, or calm, or peace. It was numb and vacant. Even the grin held no meaning. The shell of a monster stood opposite him.

And then the **pain** set in.

The blinding agony of it. Utterly consuming and violent as it ravaged his mind. All of that magic being ripped out of him; it spurted from him in blind panic and fear, searing his eye orbit and rendering his hand nearly useless. He jerked his spasming hand to cover his blighted eye, the reflection copied him. The motion did nothing to staunch the flow of his magic nor repress the soul-shattering agony.

“What’re you guys up to?”, questioned Frisk as they neared the top of the stairs.

Frisk.

His Frisk. The adorable, wonderful, happy-go-lucky child that he was so damned grateful to even know was coming up the stairs. They were about to come face to face with a creature from their worst nightmare, _all nightmares i caused_. And he had promised to never scare them again.

Never again.

Sans backed up. He backed away from the mirror, from the voices coming up the stairs, from the terrified monsters in the hall. Sans’ blood soaked slipper caught on the threshold to the room behind him. He began to tumble backwards.

His magic lacerated his soul as it leapt from him.

His mind writhe in excruciating pain.

Gravity began to pull him to the ground-

Sans vanished.

 

* * *

 

He fidgeted.

He knew it was unbecoming of someone as great as he… but he could not seem to help it. He had done everything he could possibly think of to fill the endless waiting. He’d cleaned the kitchenette, the bathroom, vacuumed the sofa and the surrounding carpeting… and none of those things had even been on his to-do list today! The hour he had spent waiting had been simply horrendous.

It was not the hour’s fault, of course, it hadn’t planned to cause him so much distress. He had to remind himself that sometime difficult things happened and each one was like a puzzle or a test. They were life’s little gifts, all designed to help him be even better at being great!

They were just more difficult when his brother was involved.

Papyrus check his phone again.

Still no news. He wanted to believe that no news was good news… but not when monsters were missing. Not when Sans was missing.

Papyrus glared at his drumming phalanges, he hadn’t given them permission to fidget yet. He had to remain patient for five entire minutes between bouts of movement or else he would be too tired to help Sans when the former Royal Guard Dogs found him.

 

 _...AGAIN_.

 

They had the best noes’ in the business and they had never let him down before. Papyrus was certain they would be calling to inform Grillby of their discover any moment and the moment after that he would receive a phone call from Grillby’s surface establishment with the good news.

His phone still didn’t ring.

Papyrus, with an impressive amount of restraint, managed to not sigh at this dearth of news. Patience was a very important skill to have, especially since he was the only active member of the Royal Guard and clearly this test was one of patience and control. He would not lose!

He lifted his mug to his teeth for another sip of tea; the mug was empty.

Papyrus pushed up from the table and carried his mug into the linoleum lined kitchenette space, but hesitated. Should he have more tea? Or was two servings enough?

 _HMMM. I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T HAVE ANYMORE CAFFEINE._ Despite the tea containing no caffeine whatsoever, Papyrus began washing out his favorite MTT ‘Tales From the Underground’ set mug.

Mettaton had actually brought this one home from the studio and given it to Papyrus as a thank you for driving him home. His battery had run low and he’d been trying to call Alphys when his contact list glitched. Papyrus had been more than ecstatic to rescue this favorite pop icon from his low-power conundrum eleven months ago. That had actually been the first time the pair had ever interacted without another party’s involvement. The mug represented a very important milestone for Papyrus both as a new accomplishment, ‘Rescuer of Celebrities’ had a nice ring to it, and as a symbol of his and Mettaton’s growing relationship.

His phone chirped.

Papyrus wanted to stop what he was doing and tug his phone free from its cloth prison, but he had to act with patience. Rushing to check his newest message would not change the information it contained. Once he’d dried and placed the mug back into the cabinet on the right of the stove, he returned the drying towel to its proper place on the handle of the oven.

Then he snatched his phone from his pocket. With a quick flash of long phalanges, he managed to unlock the device, but he couldn’t help the huff of air that whistled past his teeth.

The text was from Undyne, his most honorable and respected ‘bestie’. He felt disappointed and then he felt bad for being disappointed about Undyne’s attempted contact. It was the fifth one she’d sent him since he’d left her and Dr. Alphys’ place nearly an hour and ten minutes ago.

 

_\--- *IF YOU DONT ANSWER ME IM GONNA COME OVER THERE AN KICK YOUR DOOR DOWN!!!_

 

This new message was distressing to say the least. Papyrus knew that his best friend was passionately serious about breaking down doors, both metaphorical and literal, but he also knew he was unable to answer any of her previous messages. It was quite the predicament.

He scrolled up to reread her previous inquiries about both his and Sans’ well-being as well as her aggressively kind demands for information. Information he still didn’t have… or at least, information he could not state with a hundred percent accuracy. But he could no longer stall, he needed to give her an answer.

Actually- No, not necessarily.

She had just demanded **an** answer, not specifically an answer to her previous textual inquiries. Papyrus tapped the small smiley face on his cell phone’s keyboard and began to scroll for the right icon.

Upon finding the small red octagon, clearly the human sign for ‘Stop’, and hesitated over it. Would she understand that he meant ‘DO NOT PROCEED’? He selected it and continued scrolling until he reached the icon color swatches. After adding the blue one to the message he pressed send. That should at least buy him another few minutes to consider his next plan of action.

Now, he did sigh. This wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to be able to talk with his bestie, he wanted his brother to be home and safe, he wanted Sans to _finally_ be honest with him, he wanted- needed a chance to stop and think about everything that had happened at Undyne’s and Dr. Alphys’ house. He **needed** to figure out what he had to do next and how he should go about doing whatever those things were. What he needed was a- a list!

 

_LISTS ALWAYS HELP! NO MATTER THE PROBLEM, BIG OR SMALL, A LIST WILL HELP PUT THINGS IN ORDER!_

_...RIGHT?_

 

Papyrus took one long-legged step across the small kitchen space and opened up the last drawer on the right. It held in perfect order a stack of notepads, post-it notes, and a variety of writing utensils. He plucked up the largest notepad and one of his ever useful pencils, but stopped before closing the drawer. It was in perfect order, as it should be… but it had been several weeks since he’d last reorganized it. Sans hadn’t gotten anything out of the drawer then, not in the last three weeks. Papyrus picked up one of the sticky note pads, he hadn’t had to leave Sans any sort of post-it note threat or recrimination in months…

Which was, obviously, a very good thing! Yes, Sans was learning to clean up after himself, finally! That was what was happening. Because there couldn’t be another reason for Sans’ absence in their main living space. There couldn’t be some other cause for the sudden halt in Sans’ juvenile expression of familial affection…

Papyrus replaced the sticky notes, nestling them back into their proper spot and closed the drawer with a snap.

His phone chirped. Another text from Undyne.

And then a second right after the first. Papyrus tapped on the new messages.

 

_\---* Stop, stop what!?_

_\---* And did you seriously just respond with EMOJIS! This is serious Papyrus!_

 

_DON’T YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT…_

 

Papyrus sighed again and felt annoyed for sighing so much. The Great Papyrus did not sigh! He acted decisively with a great deal of fanfare.

...But he still didn’t want to responded with written words yet, he hadn’t had a chance to organize his thoughts or figure out hers. So pictures were the only way he could respond, they let the viewer make interpretation about the sender’s motivations. It left Undyne with the job to understand him and not the other way around.

So first, he had to respond to her initial message. What did he want her to stop? _TO PLEASE NOT ASK QUESTIONS RIGHT NOW. TO NOT DRIVE AND/OR SPRINT OVER HERE. TO PLEASE WAIT UNTIL I KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING._

Papyrus scrolled through the small emoticons available to him. Would the small monkey holding its hands over their mouth work? He selected it, but continued his search. Another was a small skull, obviously for skeleton-monster; he pressed it and went on. _A thought bubble might be useful…_ The small hourglass certainly was, as well as the large red X and the question mark. Now all he had to do was put them in a coherent order.

After several minute of consideration he finally decided on:

 

_*(X, ?, Monkey)_

_(Hourglass)_

_(Skull, Thought Bubble)_

 

Now he needed to figure out what to do next.

He returned to their kitchen table and reclaimed his post in the chair that sat in opposition of the apartment’s front door. He needed to make a list. But not just any ordinary list, no it had to be the right kind of list. Papyrus carefully peeled the top sheet of paper off the notepad and proceeded to fold into four perfect columns. Atop each column he slowly wrote out a name. ‘UNDYNE’. ‘DR. ALPHYS’. ‘LADY TORIEL’. ‘FRISK’.

Papyrus wanted to help Sans, but he couldn’t do that, not yet. So he had to redirect his greatness and focus on something he could do. He needed to help his friends. He had left them all in quite the tizzy a mere hour and seventeen minutes ago. As he departed he’d realized he had left them with more questions than answers and in various states of upset-edness. But knowing that they had been merely ‘upset’ was not any kind of help. Papyrus needed to figure out exactly what each one of them had been feeling at his time of grand, yet slightly hurried, exit in order to say just the right thing to put them at ease.

He closed his eye orbits and thought back to everything that had transpired. He remembered the tiny human’s squeak of alarm and Undyne’s hurried hesitation. When he had reached the top of the stairs he’d gotten a better look at the scene.

Undyne was caught halfway between them and Mettaton’s former room. Her face was just as equally divided, alarm- no it was true distress and the typical hostility that she wore like armor when she was in situations that made her unhappy. She appeared to be unsure of herself or perhaps she was unsure of her next course of action. Very unlike the Undyne he was use to.

Dr. Alphys had seemed… trapped. As if she suddenly realized she had been caught doing a bad thing and the guilt was keeping her glued in place. Her cellphone was held in her hand, her grip too tight to have been comfortable but she hadn’t seem to notice.

Frisk was scared. But it was not a fear for themself, but for what the puddle of fake blood entailed. For they had clearly been transfixed by the mess.

That fact had never been in question. The moment Papyrus had seen the runny red pool, he’d known it was fake. Human blood left an iron-y tang in the air, he had discovered this when Frisk had scraped their knee during his fight with them. The small human had said that it hadn’t hurt, but they were leaking their non-magical fluids so clearly it must have hurt quite a lot.

Papyrus opened his eyes and added his observations under each respected name. Lady Toriel had been standing behind him on the stairs so he had not been able to see her initial reaction to the situation.

The typical questions had followed, the standard ‘What happened?’, ‘Is anyone hurt?’, ‘Where is Sans?’. Papyrus wished the last one wasn’t a common question, but his brother had always had a pension for wandering off. As Undyne and Alphys had explained their prank, The Uncomfortable Feeling had settled inside Papyrus’ ribs. It was the feeling that he got when Sans had nightmares and didn’t wake up all the way; it was the feeling that told him this disappearance was one of the bad times, the ones that didn’t happen very often, but were never good.

Frisk must have had a similar feeling, Papyrus could remember the worry that had pulled their happy features into ones less suited for a child. But there was more… Their posture had read- _Guilty?_

 

_Why had they felt guilty about Undyne and Alphys’ misguided prank? How were they connected to the situation?_

 

Papyrus added Frisk’s change in behavior to the list.

Lady Toriel had seemed displeased by her former Captain of the Royal Guard’s and her former Head Royal Scientist’s actions, but she too seemed to have noticed Frisk’s change in behavior. She had offer comfort to her child, a kind hand upon a small shoulder. It had seemed almost unconscious to Papyrus. Sans would do things like that from time to time, that unconscious attempt to comfort.

Undyne seemed to grow angry at Toriel’s disappointment, but her aggression had appeared to be more of the same emotional protection she’d had been using before. Dr. Alphys had hunched under the weight of her former Queen’s disapproval. Her reaction seemed to make Undyne aggressively defensive, likely the Queen’s harsh words from fourteen months ago had left emotional wound on the small lizard-monster’s soul. Injuries, Undyne would be completely aware of. And now Lady Toriel was mirroring her previous censure, likely a habitual posture and tone for her.

Papyrus added it to the list.

Then Undyne had lashed out, her aggression a weapon and a shield. She didn’t understand why it mattered, why the fake blood was an issue, not when Sans was just in the other room and could explain his reaction himself.

He hadn’t been.

Papyrus had known that. He’d known it the second he’d reached the top of the stairs.

But instead of turning their attention to the lack of Sans, Frisk had… lied.

Papyrus sat back in his chair and placed his pencil down. This he still didn’t understand. Frisk had said Sans was squeamish, they had said he was afraid of human blood. But he wasn’t. At least the last time he and Sans had watched a horror movie, Sans hadn’t seemed the least bit upset by the fake blood. _But that was almost three years ago… Sans changes so fast in so little time, had something changed and I missed it?_ But there in Undyne and Alphys’ hall, it was obvious that the blood was fake. It shouldn’t have mattered.

Papyrus’ soul twisted.

 

But it **did**.

 

Or at least, Frisk had thought it did and Papyrus didn’t know why. But it mattered, it mattered enough to Frisk that they lied. They had lied to their mother and their aunts and then they seemed to _know_ that Papyrus knew it was a lie. They had averted their eyes, clearly a guilty action, when he’d given them a quizzical look. But-

It wasn’t for themself. They weren’t lying for themself, they were lying for Sans.

Now, that was something Papyrus was familiar with. His brother… He just- Papyrus knew that sometimes Sans wasn’t feeling emotionally well. Everyone had a right to feel unwell, including his lazy brother… But Sans didn’t want anyone to know. Like he had to keep it a secret, even from his most magnificent brother. But it mattered to Sans, so it mattered to Papyrus. He would help Sans keep his secret by making excuses for his absent brother, or by going out of his way to make sure Sans was feeling happy and well; sometimes Papyrus would even pretend not to notice when something was wrong.

But it had been going on for months, now. The lying, the pretending, the excuses and Sans wasn’t getting better. His brother never seemed to feel well, he never seemed to feel emotionally stable. _Was lying and pretending the best option still? If I keep ignoring what’s wrong and Sans keeps ignoring it- will he ever get better?_

Papyrus added it to the list.

And then there was Lady Toriel’s reaction. She too had recognized Frisk lie, but instead of questioning her child she seemed to only want to ask **him** about it. She didn’t comment or make any open inquiry, but her eyes had. Her regal features were concerned, truly and deeply concerned, but for some unknown reason she had seemed to believe that Papyrus had the answers. Which made sense, of course!

He was the Great Papyrus, and a member of her Royal Guard! Did she want him to look into the situation on her behalf? Was she trying to signal him with some secret royal code?

Or was her worry for Sans founded in the deep emotional bond she had formed with his brother? Royal Decree or Friendly Compassion?

 

_Why can’t it be both…_

 

Papyrus wrote it down.

The rest of their conversation had been lost on Papyrus, though. The moment Undyne had stormed out of Alphys’ office space sans Sans, Papyrus had needed to call Grillby. That was what he needed to do in these situations. Grillby had called it a ‘phone tree’. His call lead to another call and another and another and then all of the monster’s who could and would help would know the situation. Sans’ friendship with nearly all of the monsters in Grillby’s bar had meant that so many souls were ready and willing to help at the drop of the metaphorical hat. They might have saved Sans’ life, several of times… and his brother never knew. Or maybe Sans was just pretending that he didn’t know, Papyrus wasn’t sure.

But that was going to change.

Papyrus was tired of not knowing. He was tired of not being able to help the one monster who had **always** been there for him. And once he knew, then he could help Sans and Undyne and Alphys and Frisk and Lady Toriel. He could answer their questions and help calm their worry. He could fight off their fears and protect them from their nightmares…

But first he had to **_know-_ **

 

_*KRU-thump*_

 

Sans appeared in front of him, only to stagger back against the front door with a heavy sounding thud.

Papyrus was shocked. Not because his brother had literally appear out of thin air, he was use to that kind of behavior even if he’d never actually seen Sans do it before. No, he was shocked by how Sans _looked_.

His brother looked very **_very_ ** ill.

His clothes were still liberally splattered with fake blood, expect it seemed to have frozen to his clothes and slippers. _That’s not going to make removing those stains any easier..._ His hood seemed to be filled with snow and unmelted flakes rested on his hunched shoulders. But it was Sans’ face that had Papyrus’ heart clenching in pain. His eyes were closed and his face bore no smile or grin, it was as if the simple action of making an expression was impossible for him. The purple smears of exhaustion under Sans’ eye orbits looked no worse than the had this morning, but his bones were matte and muted. No magic shimmer around his brother, none at all. It left his clothes loose and ill-fitting and his shape poorly defined.

And then Sans opened his eyes.

Papyrus hadn’t realized he’d stood up, until he watched alarm flicker across Sans’ face as his far too dim eye-lights tracked up to Papyrus’ face. And then _that_ smile snapped into place. The one Sans wore like a mask, a mask that was almost indistinguishable from his resting expression. As if Papyrus was too naive to notice how completely shattered his brother looked, as if Papyrus would just _let_ this **go**.

Papyrus locked down his worry and his concern. He put all of his experience and training and unwavering belief in doing the right thing to good use; he did not approach Sans. Papyrus crossed his arms and stood his ground, he could not **-** No, the Great Papyrus, **would not** let Sans slide of out this. Not this time.

Sans looked like he was trying, desperately, to think of something to say so Papyrus just cut him off. “SANS. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.” Papyrus could hear how his own words failed to sound like a question, but just then he couldn’t seem to care.

“i-”, Sans tried to say before his hoarse voice cracked. He winced, fully aware that his voice was not helping his case. He cleared it a little and tried again, “i… ‘m sorry, pap. really, _really_ sorry.” Sans didn’t push away from the door.

“AS NICE AS THAT IS, IT IS NOT HELPFUL TO THE SITUATION. AND YOU DID NOT ANSWER MY QUESTION.” Papyrus stated, careful to not let any anger or worry color his tone. He then gestured to the chair across from him as Papyrus reclaimed his vacated one. “WHY DON’T YOU TAKE A SEAT.”

The guilt that shot across his brother’s face was followed immediately by pain as Sans pushed off of the door. He didn’t stagger, _BARELY_ , but he didn’t really move towards the table either. “bro... i didn’t mean ta’-”

Papyrus caught him off with a raised hand; Sans flinched. Papyrus felt his control waver, but he pressed on. “AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT, SANS, I CANNOT. IF YOU DID NOT WANT ME TO WORRY THEN YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME WHAT WAS WRONG BEFORE WE LEFT THIS MORNING.”

Now, Sans did approach. The guilt was now firmly locked on his face, but he was still trying to hide his fatigue. Even now, even when Papyrus clearly knew Sans was sick- or ill- or **something** , he was still hiding it. His brother tried to say something, but Papyrus cut him off with the most level and controlled voice he could manage, despite the hurt and disbelief that ached in his ribcage. “-OR YOU COULD HAVE ANSWERED ANY OF THE TEXT MESSAGES OR PHONE CALLS WE HAVE SENT YOU OVER THE LAST…” Papyrus purposefully paused here as he made a show of checking the time. “-HOUR AND TWENTY FOUR MINUTES.”

It was a flicker, almost invisible. If Papyrus had not had as much experience dealing with Sans as he had or if he had not been watching his brother as closely as he was, he would have missed it. **Fear**. Then it was gone, replaced by an ordinary look of confusion. “what phone calls?”, and to Papyrus’ immense relief Sans sounded genuinely confused. He truly didn’t know about the calls or messages, he hadn’t ignored them on purpose.

In fact, with a tired jerk of his hand Sans pulled his phone from his inventory. Papyrus frowned, he hadn’t remembered Sans sticking the device in his inventory, but that still shouldn’t have stopped Sans from hearing it ring or vibrate. Had he silenced it? But when?

Before either of them could continue, the device phone buzzed.

 

_*buzzpt*_

 

Then it buzzed again. _*buzzpt*_

 

And Again. _*buzzpt*_

 

And Again. _*buzzpt*_

 

Then it kept buzzing each message alert interrupting the last. As the phone began receiving the flood of undelivered messages, Sans eye orbits grew wider and wider. Then as if the device was too dangerous to hold, he put it on the table. It continued to buzz despite the change in location.

Now the vibration sounded louder as the device crawled awkwardly across the table. It was the only thing making noise in the suddenly quiet apartment. They both were transfixed by its movement and by the meaning that intense flood of messages meant.

Finally it stopped, but neither skeleton-monster moved to pick it up. After a slow calming breath, Papyrus looked up to see what Sans had to say about this-

Papyrus barely managed to stifle his laughter. It was partly relief-induce, Papyrus was positive, but the knee-jerk desire to release a bout of hysterical giggles was mostly because of his brother. Sans had the most stupefied expression Papyrus had ever seen on his brother’s face. He knew that he still needed to be angry and stern with Sans, this was by no means over, but Sans looked tired and stunned and aghast all at the same time. It was a little too much for the both of them just then.

This, at the very least, confirmed that Sans had by no means intentionally ignored their attempts to contact him. He hadn’t spurned their help, he just hadn’t **known** they were trying to help him. For now that would have to do, Sans was physically exhausted and Papyrus was fairly confident that he was emotionally drained as well. He needed sleep, real sleep. Not one of those half catnaps Sans was so fond of pretending were actual sleep.

“pap- papyrus… i’m so sorry. i-i didn’t know- i-” Sans apologized, the guilt was back. It had pushed aside any of the other emotions that had been warring on his weary face. His eye-lights were pleading for understanding, not forgiveness. Sans never asked for forgiveness; he would repent and attempt to make amends, but he never seemed to hope for compassion when he had wronged someone.

Papyrus raised his hand again, but it wasn’t the same demanding gesture he’d used before. Still, Sans fell quiet. “SANS, BROTHER… I CANNOT SAY THAT IT IS ALRIGHT-” Sans looked away, but Papyrus went on. “But I think it will be.”

His brother’s head snapped back to meet Papyrus’ eyes and the relief that washed across Sans’ features brought the wisps of tears to both of their eyes orbits “NOW, BROTHER. I, THE EVER WONDERFUL AND GREATEST OF ALL BROTHERS, SHALL HELP YOU GET OUT OF THOSE SODDEN AND STAINED CLOTHES.” Papyrus carried on with a grin and a dramatic wave of his hand at Sans ruined clothes.

“sodden-”, Sans started to question but the words died in his chest when his eye-lights tracked down to take in his appearance.

It was like the all of the air in their quaint apartment had frozen.

Sans went ridged; breathlessly still.

A queasy feeling washed over Papyrus. “SANS-”, he began and started to climb back to his feet.

Sans moved quickly, too quickly, head snapping back up. He looked… fine. His eye-lights bright and normal. His smile was perfect and calm like this had been any other day for him. Still his magic was all but absent from his bones, but Sans was acting like it didn’t matter. Like he was just _fine_. “heh. thanks, pap. why don’t i just go get cleaned up?”, Sans interrupted easily. His was voice even and normal, none of the fear or sorrow or guilt tinged his words. And before Papyrus could get a word in Sans was moving around the table, making a beeline for the short hallway behind him.

“NOW, WAIT JUST A MOMENT-”, Papyrus tried to stop Sans as his brother moved by him. But with the agility and speed Sans rarely used he ducked around Papyrus’ reaching hand.

Sans spun on his heel as he backed into the hall, “no worries, bro. i’ve got this.” And in that moment Papyrus realized Sans’ eye-lights weren’t normal. They were blurred, almost entirely unfocused, but they were bright- too bright. Papyrus would never had noticed if Sans hadn’t been forced to move right by him.

Something was still very **wrong**. And Sans had just lied to Papyrus’ face about it.

Sans turned into the bathroom and Papyrus leapt into action. His brother had pushed the door closed, but Papyrus was significantly faster. He caught the door before it closed and pushed it open.

Sans hadn’t switched on the light so Papyrus did. Sans didn’t turn to look at him, he just switched on the water. “SANS WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? I WAS PREPARED TO LET YOU GET CLEANED UP AND GET A LITTLE SLEEP BEFORE WE CONTINUED, BUT…” He’d started strong, his words filled with passion and justified anger, but as the scene before him unravel Papyrus felt himself trail off uselessly.

Sans hadn’t waited for the water to warm, he hadn’t tried to undress, he hadn’t even reacted to Papyrus or his words. He just stepped into the frigid water and slowly collapsed. He made no attempt to pull the curtain closed. His back slid down the wall opposite of the shower head, despite this shower being combined with a bathtub there was very little space so he never moved out of the water’s spray. Almost immediately the moving water began melting the ice on his clothes and some of the fake blood began to wash down the drain.

That alone would have been enough to terrify Papyrus, would have been enough to stop him dead, but it was how Sans looked that petrified him.

 

Broken.

 

Shattered.

 

Hollow.

 

Empty.

 

Forlorn.

 

Despondent.

 

None of those words could ever completely describe how his brother looked, sitting there in the downpour of water. His eye-lights were gone and his face was vacant. It held no smile, no fear, no pain, no sorrow… nothing, it was like Sans’ soul had left him and that was only the empty shell of the monster he used to be. Expect it kept moving. His knees were slowly pulled against his chest and then he was rocking, minutely. Only the barest hint of motion. His head rested atop his legs and he continued to face unwaveringly forward. His arms had wrapped around himself and his phalanges clutched tightly at the fabric of his soaked jacket.

And then the rattling started. In slow quiet waves his bones, all of them, would shake and then they all stopped. Only for the whole cycle to repeat a few seconds later.

“< ...Sans… >”, Papyrus barely managed to say. He couldn’t use words, not ‘real’ ones, but he could still speak, he could still communicate. Skeleton-monsters could use a different kind of language.

“no worries, bro. i’ll be out in a bit.”, Sans responded immediately.

The dissonance between the ‘Sans’ Papyrus was watching and the ‘Sans’ Papyrus had heard made him take a step back.

His brother sounded fine and normal and safe.

His brother looked crushed and distorted and… _uninhabited_.

He had heard Sans before, he had heard Sans say those _exact words_ before. He had heard them through a **closed** door.

 

 _Had Sans looked like- this,_ **_been_ ** _like this, all of those times?_

 _And I, the oh-soo_ **_great_ ** _Papyrus never... noticed. I never noticed…_

_Sans felt like this and choose to hide it from me-_

_No- was still_ **_trying_ ** _to hide it from Me! His- his brother…_

 

Papyrus could feel his bones starting to shake as well.

 

_...How long?_

_...How long have I been blind to this?_

_...How long has he been suffering like this?_

 

 _All the while- Pretending to be fine and_ **_happy and NORMAL!_ **

_For What!? For me! For the others!_

_Because we aren’t good enough- Aren’t smart enough, to help him! Because he can’t trust us-_

_...me…_

_Because he can’t trust_ **_me_ ** _…_

 

Just like when he was little and afraid and his bones started rattling, he wrapped his arms around himself. He’d always been afraid if he rattled too hard, he might fall apart.

But Sans wasn’t coming to help him this time...

 

 _He can’t-_ **_won’t_ ** _rely on me to be there, to be able to help, to be able to stand with him and face this, together! Because we are Family! That’s what family does!_

_Right?! We grieve together and we laugh together! We stand together and we fight together!  We survive tog-_

He’d kept backing up, backing away from Sans. And he remember all of the snatches of words and sobs and screams in the middle of the night:

 

_“... alive- oh god- you’re alive…”_

_“...d-dead. i thought y-you w-were d-dead-”_

_“i’m sorry- i’m sorry- ‘m s-sorry- so so s-s-sorry!”_

 

_Unless we haven’t… haven’t survived together…_

_So Sans wouldn’t- couldn’t- rely on me… Because I haven’t been there for him… Because I wasn’t-_

_So now he won’t… Won’t ask me for help. He won’t tell me what’s wrong. He- He- won’t believe in me…_

 

Papyrus shook that thought from his head. That was wrong! Sans **always** believed in him, he always loved him and he always trusted him! So if that was true and if what Papyrus suspected might be true **_was_ ** … where did that leave him? Why would Sans lie and hide and run from him? What would make Sans act against Papyrus-

 

_… to protect me. Sans would do whatever he had to to keep me safe. Even if I don’t need it!_

_So… Because he… because he wants to protect us- to protect me, he would rather suffer like- like_ **_This_ ** _than expose us to whatever danger he thinks is there!_

 _...Because he loves us- because he wants to keep us safe, he would lie to us… he would lie to_ ** _me._**  

 

Papyrus felt his spine hit the wall behind him.

 

_no…_

_No!_

_NO._

  


Papyrus swallowed the nausea that had built in his bottom of chest and lurched towards his brother, not away. _NEVER AWAY. NEVER AGAIN._ He caught himself on the doorway to the bathroom and swiped at the orange magic that was leaking from his eye orbits. He caught a glimpse of orange light dancing in the bathroom mirror, his right eye was glowing.

Sans still hadn’t moved from his spot, but now when his shivering started pale blue tears dripped from his unblinking eye orbits. The magic rolled down his sallow bones with the rivulets of water, but the two never mixed.

Sans was in pain. His brother was in pain…

And the Great- no… Papyrus, Sans’ _brother_ , was going to fix this.

 

* * *

 

Everything hurt.

His bones. His soul. His mind.

It all just **hurt**.

But he was warm. Sans wasn’t used to that, waking up in pain, a hell of a lot of pain, but warm and comfortable. The not remember was normal, though. _maybe, too normal._

Had he had a nightmare and just fallen back asleep? And what day was it? Did he need to get up and get ready for work or… it was the weekend, right? So no work, but something… Alphys. He needed to help her- do… something…

No, not just Alphys, it was Undyne too. He needed to help them…

The memory hit him with enough force to push the air from his ribs.

 

_fuck. me._

 

All of it, the nightmare memory, the minor flashback, the poorly-timed prank, the blo- FAKE, the fake blood and… hallucination? That’s what that had been, right? And then Snowdin- or had that been a hallucination, too?

His memory of everything after the- the prank was all kinds of fucked up, just one blur mashed into another. Except, he was home now. When- how had he gotten there?

Or was he home?

Sans realized he’d have to open his eyes for that and sighed. It made his ribs ache. God, it felt like he’d been hit by a truck…

Sans opened one eye orbit and then the other, his room was beautifully dark. But it was clearly his room. And he was tucked into his bed, he was home. He let his eyes slip closed again, happy to have at least one answer. He shifted a little to pull the blanket more snugly around himself…

He didn’t have a blanket on his bed.

 

_shit._

 

Sans opened his eyes again and took a better look at the blanket and his room. The blanket wasn’t his per se, but it was one of the ones that lived in the tiny hall closet. It was that really fuzzy soft one Papyrus had insisted they buy, even though neither of them needed blankets. Not that Sans was complaining. Without sitting up he ran his phalanges over a corner of the fur-like material. _it’s warm…_ Had it just come out of the dryer?

Sans remembered Papyrus doing that once for Frisk, when they’d lived with them. Frisk and Papyrus had gone ‘exploring’ in the rain last January and the duo had come back sopping wet with enormous grins. Sans felt a little bit of a smile trying to stretch his tired face at the memory. After a warm shower and some dry clothes Papyrus had stuck this blanket in the dryer for a couple of minutes only to wrap the kid up in it, heh, like a child-burrito. Sans was pretty sure he still had a couple of pictures of Frisk all bundled up with their damp hair sticking up every which way, while they beamed for the camera.

Sans looked passed the blanket and his bed continuing his scan of the part of his room he could see without moving. He was on his side facing the door, light crept under the closed door from the living room beyond. But instead of illuminating his clothes strewn floor it just washed over his carpeting. Someone had picked up his room and if he had to guess they’d probably changed his sheets too…

 

_papyrus... damn. he’s gonna be all kinds of worried and pissed._

 

The really question was, had Sans made it home before or after Papyrus had left Undyne’s and Alphys’ place? _only one way to find out…_

But Sans still didn’t move. It wasn’t that he was too hurt or too tired, he’d get over both even if they really made getting up feel like a bad idea. The issue was that he’d need to talk to Papyrus. There would be no way to talk himself out of this, he knew that. He needed to figure out how much and of what he was actually going to tell his brother. The more truth in the story the more convincing it’d be, but where to draw the line? Where to draw the line between disloyalty and brotherly over-protectiveness?

Sans didn’t like lying to Papyrus, but half-truths were better than nothing… right?

He felt bad for even thinking it. He sighed again. He’d have to tell Papyrus about the nightmare, at least some of it. He’d already notice that something was off this morning, so Pap would be expecting it. As for the rest… the prank was probably enough. It’d freaked him out so he just took one of his shortcuts home so he could change, but- um… He fell asleep! _yeah, you know me bro. i got distracted and then i just crashed. sorry._

Sans didn’t move for several minutes, but at long last he pushed himself up. And instantly regretted it.

The room span viciously, and his magic roiled low in his chest. The nausea almost overtook him, but with a great deal of effort he shoved it down. One of these days, he wasn’t going to be able to keep it together and then they’d all be in for it. Now sitting up, Sans realized he had the mother of all headaches. It was like the pain started in his left eye socket and radiated outward. God, he could feel the throbbing all the way in his toes. He’d better make this quick so he could get back to sleeping this off.

With a dizzy lurch, Sans stumbled out of bed. One hand on the wall and the other on his eye, Sans started to move towards the door. His bare feet dragged against the carpeting. After what felt like an small eternity Sans reached his bedroom door, only to realize he didn’t remember changing into the clothes he was now wearing. He was in one of his too large t-shirts and a pair of his favorite shorts. No hoodie.

Sans leaned again the solid door, letting it do most of the work, and surveyed his bedroom again. There on the corner of his bed, he saw the blue cloth folded up. He took several deep breaths, before shoving off.  He didn’t fall and the world didn’t spin any faster than the sixteen hundred kilometers per hour it usually did. His eye seemed to be aching a little less, or he was getting used to it, but he continued back towards his bed.

He snatched the jacket off the bed and made to gingerly put it on, but he stopped. It wasn’t his jacket- Well, it wasn’t his **normal** jacket. This one was still technically his, but it was his back up. He’d seen it at that second-hand store Bratty and Catty worked at and bought it on an impulse. The coat was the exact color of **his** hoodie and the outside had even been made from the same tightly spun-cotton stuff, but the inside was that soft fleece fabric and someone had already stretched out the elastic in the cuffs so he didn’t have to worry about it. Really the main difference was the hood, no fur on this one instead the material was just grey. Inside and out, with grey pull strings and little metal aglets instead of those annoying plastic ones.

It was a good, thick, soft jacket. But it wasn’t **_his_ ** jacket.

 

 _it’s probably just in the wash, like the rest of my stuff…_  

 

Sans studied the hoodie for another moment or two before sighing, it’d just have to do until he got his coat back. He tugged the spare on and instantly felt better. It was soft and comfortable and the pockets were just the right size, not too big or too low to make sticking his hands in them awkward. It was a good jacket and Sans was very glad to have it just then.

He turned back to door and felt steadier. With a few quick steps Sans reached the door and pulled it open, bracing himself for the flood of light.

He took a few seconds to readjust before shuffling down the hall towards the kitchen light. No one sat at the kitchen table and he couldn’t hear kitchen sounds, so Pap must be on the couch. _probably unwinding after having to clean up my mess_ , Sans winced a little.

 

_welp... it’s time to pay the piper…_

 

Sans continued down the hall, but stopped in the archway. Papyrus had his back to him as he sat on his habitual half of the sofa. Sans could see that he was working on laptop and that his brother had changed clothes, now he was in pj’s. _what time is it?_ Sans patted down his clothes for his phone but came up empty. Before Sans could go back for it, Papyrus began shifting around on the couch. He was shuffling around some papers and he seemed to have been writing stuff down in one of his notepads. Sans had always been more of a spiral-bound kinda monster, but Papyrus swore by the classic notepad. His brother had also pulled his sofa-quilt out of his closet. Papyrus had blankets for his bed and then he had blankets for sitting on the couch, that way he never had to unmake his bed if he wanted to curl up on the sofa. It made a kinda sideways sense, Sans supposed. _heh, about as much sense as keeping chisps in the fridge._ They were quite the pair.

Sans didn’t want to bother Papyrus, not if he was working… But the idea of going back to bed didn’t really appeal to him, just then. Sans wanted to sit with his brother, even if that meant talking about some stuff he didn’t want to talk about. So he made his way around the table and headed for the couch.

Sans considered for the briefest of moments just hoping over the back of the sofa, like he did sometimes, but that would be making light of the situation… and he didn’t think he could really manage it in his condition. So instead he walked around to the left side of the couch, his side, and crossed into Papyrus’ peripherals. His brother looked up immediately, not surprised or scared, just giving Sans is complete attention.

Guilt bubbled up in Sans, it washed out the pain and the apprehension. Papyrus looked tired. His brother never looked tired, even when he was exhausted he still look revved. But now, he looked worn out. With lots of other things to do than deal with Sans. He had quite a few printout and tornout note pages littering the surround space, a long since cold mug of tea sat forgotten at his elbow and a mirade of highlighters sat nestled in the many folds of his blanket. Lowering his pencil Papyrus studied him carefully, intently. His expression was a mixture of concern and intense scrutiny... and something else Sans couldn’t name.

Sans tried for a weak smile, hoping it’d help put his brother at ease. Papyrus didn’t seem to react to it. “heya, pap.”

“I WISH YOU’D HAVE SLEPT FOR A LITTLE LONGER. YOU REALLY NEED IT.” Papyrus said remorsefully, but with a smile that almost qualified as Papyrus-ish he went on, “AND HELLO, SANS.”

“heh. yeah, well… you know me, i don’t really do what anybody wants me too.”, Sans replied, but the humor in his tone didn’t really come out right. Sans leaned against the arm of the couch, since Papyrus’ papers were spread all over the other cushion.

As if he’d suddenly become aware of the extent his research- reached, Papyrus began collecting his stuff. “OH GOODNESS, I SEEMED TO HAVE SPREAD OUT QUITE A BIT-”

“nah, bro. it’s fine, i can just sta-” Sans started to wave off Papyrus attempt to re-collect his work, but Papyrus cut him off.

“NONSENSE. HERE, ALL CLEANED UP. COME SIT WITH ME.” Papyrus finished stacking his pages in the correct order and placed them on the coffee table. The top page looked like a wikipedia-styled article with the title ‘SCREENING FOR PT-’, then Papyrus placed the rest of his papers and notepad down on top of the stack before Sans could get a better look at the printout.

Sans half-slide half-flopped into the newly-vacated space. “more culinary school stuff?”, Sans nodded towards the pages as Papyrus closed his laptop.

His brother frowned a little, before saying, “NOT EXACTLY…”

The pair were then left in this awkward silence. Papyrus shifted a little, re-adjusted his blanket, picked at a loose thread, pretty much anything but look at Sans. Normally, Sans would have been all for this avoidance thing, but his head was still killing him and he was tired and Papyrus was tired. The faster they did this the better.

 

“pap-”

“BROTHER-”

 

They both stopped. Sans smiled a little and Papyrus returned it. Then Papyrus made a throat clearing sound and said, “THIS AWKWARDNESS SEEMS VERY- SILLY, FOR SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME. AND DOUBLY SO FOR THE BOTH OF US.”

“heh. yeah, well…” Sans trailed off with a shrug, not entirely sure where he had been heading with that.

But despite both skeleton-monsters being aware of the weirdness, the silence continued.

 

It went on...

 

And on...

 

Sans’ head was really start to hurt and the tv’s dark screen was starting to blur around the edges. _oh, screw it._ “look, pap. ‘m sorry for freaking and running. i shouldn’t have done it, but i just- really didn’t want ta’ paint.” Sans tried for a joke, but the second he said it he realized it was in poor taste.

Papyrus didn’t say anything and Sans couldn’t look at him.

“...sorry.” Sans muttered after another second and rubbed at his aching eye. He tried to make it look like he was just rubbing at it tiredly, rather than out of pain.

“I KNOW, SANS. YOU ALREADY TOLD ME.” Papyrus finally said.

Something in his voice made Sans turn to look at him. Papyrus was watching him, there was more than just worry on his face. There was pain, too. This was causing his baby brother to hurt. **He** was causing his brother to hurt. And here Sans had thought, the headache was painful. The wrenching feeling that was tearing at something in his chest, hurt so much more. “pap-”

Papyrus shook his head, stopping Sans. “I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING FIRST AND THEN WE CAN DISCUSS WHATEVER YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT… BUT I NEED YOU TO DO TWO THINGS FOR ME SANS.” Papyrus stated, the hurt was well-masked in his voice, but Sans could still feel it.

“of course, bro. anything.” Sans promised immediately. Whatever Papyrus needed Sans would do it, he just wanted his brother to stop hurting.

Papyrus took a slow deep breath. “FIRST, THIS- WHAT I AM GOING TO SAY IS… IT WILL BE DIFFICULT AND I NEED YOU TO LISTEN, TO REALLY LISTEN TO WHAT I AM SAYING. I NEED YOU TO LET ME SAY ALL OF IT BEFORE WE CAN TALK OR- DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO.”

Sans was transfixed by his brother. Papyrus wasn’t looking at Sans anymore, now he was staring down at his phalanges. “...okay, bro.” Sans finally managed.

Papyrus nodded, but he still didn’t look up. He sat there in the tense silence for several long seconds, then he took another deep breath and looked over at Sans. His hands tightened on the blanket and his expression was… he looked-

 

Papyrus was **Determined**.

 

“AND SECOND, I KNOW THIS WON’T MAKE SENSE RIGHT NOW, BUT WHEN I’M DONE IT WILL. OKAY?”  

Sans couldn’t seem to breath, or make his voice work, so he just nodded not daring to break eye contact with his brother.

“I NEED YOU TO STOP PROTECTING ME.”

“pap- papyrus, i- don’t know if i ca-”, Sans tried to explain but with a jerk of his head Papyrus cut him off.

“NO, I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT TO AND I KNOW WHY YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO, BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP, SANS. I-I CAN’T HELP YOU IF YOU WON’T LET ME STAND WITH YOU! IF YOU DON’T LET ME KNOW WHAT’S WRONG, HOW CAN I HELP?” Papyrus exclaimed. Then he closed his eyes and took a few moments to collect himself.

Sans wanted to run and ripping feeling in his chest only got worse.

It made him feel sick, knowing that he wanted to run. Knowing that he wanted to run from- from **Papyrus** …

But he couldn’t- he **_wouldn’t_ ** **.** Not from his brother, never from Papyrus.

Papyrus opened his eyes and looked back at Sans. He didn’t say anything, but Sans knew he was trying to tell him that this was going to hurt. A lot. Sans forced himself to settled down into the couch. He wasn’t going to run from this.

Papyrus just nodded, glad that they understood each other. Sans just wished his head would stop pounding.

“I AM GOING TO START.” Papyrus said.

Sans nodded. It made his eye throb harder.

Papyrus sighed.

“I KNOW THAT YOU LIE TO ME.” He just let the words hang there, not looking at Sans, not trying to explain what he meant.

Sans couldn’t seem to move, even if he wanted to Sans couldn’t leave, he couldn’t look away, he couldn’t respond. The thing in his chest, that felt like pain but was so much worse, moved.

Papyrus let out a slow breath, then he turned to look at Sans and repeated, “I KNOW THAT YOU LIE TO ME, SANS.” But he didn’t stop there. “I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SINCE WE WERE KIDS. YOU WERE FORCED TO GROW UP TOO FAST AND YOU DIDN’T WANT ME TO KNOW THAT. YOU DIDN’T WANT ME TO KNOW WHAT THAT WAS LIKE, SO YOU LIED. YOU LET ME KEEP MY CHILDHOOD, EVEN WHEN IT COST YOU. BUT YOU ALSO PUSHED ME TO BE BETTER, TO BELIEVE THAT I COULD BE BETTER. YOU HELPED ME BECOME GREAT, EVEN WHEN I DIDN’T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANT. YOU LIED TO HELP ME.”

“BUT IT BECAME A HABIT, THE LYING. AND THEN- I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. BUT SOMETHING DID, SOMETHING VERY BAD, AND WE MOVED TO SNOWDIN. AND YOU KEPT LYING. YOU LIED ABOUT BEING OKAY, ABOUT NOTHING BEING WRONG. YOU LIED TO PROTECT ME BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU KNEW HOW TO DO. AND I LET YOU.” Papyrus let out a shuddering breath and stopped.

He should help Papyrus. He needed to move, to comfort his brother. But he couldn’t. Sans could only watch as Papyrus recollected his composure.

When Papyrus started up again, he wasn’t looking at Sans. “AND YOU GOT BETTER. YOU WERE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU WERE HAPPY. AND THAT WAS GOOD, SO I NEVER SAID ANYTHING. I JUST LET YOU DEAL WITH IT BY YOURSELF AND THEN IT BECAME A HABIT, LETTING YOU LIE WHEN YOU WERE HURTING. BECAUSE YOU WERE HANDLING IT, RIGHT?” Papyrus scoffed.

“AND THEN YOU WERE HURT AGAIN. AND YOU LIED AGAIN. AND I **LET** YOU, _AGAIN_. ONE DAY YOU JUST WOKE UP AND YOU’D CHANGED AGAIN AND YOUR MAGIC HAD THAT YELLOW IN IT AND YOU LIED. BUT YOU WERE DOING OKAY AND AFTER SOMETIME YOU WERE BETTER. AND THEN-” Papyrus hesitated. “AND THEN FRISK FELL. AND YOU WERE- FINE, OR I THOUGHT YOU WERE. AND WE GOT TO THE SURFACE AND WE STARTED LIVING HERE AND EVERYTHING WAS HAPPY AND GOOD- BUT IT WASN’T, WAS IT?”

Papyrus looked over at him and Sans could see the orange mist collecting in his eye orbits. But he still didn’t react, he still couldn’t. Even as his eye **_burned_ ** , even has his soul **_bled_ **.

“I STARTED NOTICING THAT I COULDN’T TELL WHEN YOU LIED. EVEN WHEN I KNEW, **KNEW** YOU HAD LIED, I COULDN’T TELL. AND THEN I WAS AFRAID, BECAUSE IF I COULDN’T TELL WHEN YOU WERE LYING, HOW WOULD I KNOW IF SOMETHING WAS WRONG? SO I STARTED PAYING MORE ATTENTION, I STARTED WATCHING FOR A TELL, FOR YOUR NEW TELL. AND THEN I FOUND IT… BUT IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU WERE DOING IT ALL THE TIME. ALMOST EVERY TIME I ASKED YOU IF YOU WERE OKAY AND YOU SAID ‘YES’ I SAW IT. BUT- BUT I STI-ll didn’t do anything!” Papyrus’ voice finally broke and the tears started rolling down his face.

“I didn’t do anything! Not because I didn’t know- But because you’d handle it yourself, right!? Just like always, you’d handle whatever was wrong without me! A-And I was just going to let you! Let you suffer and bleed and break apart! Even- even though I **knew** , Sans. I KNEW!” Papyrus sobbed, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t let Sans get a word in.

“AND TODAY, WHEN YOU CAME HOME EARLIER, I WAS GOING TO PUSH YOU, BUT NOT SERIOUSLY! JUST GIVE YOU A LITTLE ‘THE GREAT PAPYRUS STYLE’ PEP TALK AND THEN BRUSH IT AWAY!” Papyrus all but shouted, as he angrily swiped at tears. “UNTIL I SAW WHAT YOU WERE HIDING! UNTIL I FINALLY- FINALLY PUT IT TOGETHER! UNTIL I REALIZED HOW BADLY YOU ARE HURTING- HOW MISERABLE YOU ARE- HOW BROKEN!” Papyrus choked on another sob.

 

Sans couldn’t speak.

He couldn’t breath.

He couldn’t feel his magic.

He could only feel his eye.

And the **pain**.

Papyrus was right there! Right there and he needed Sans but-

He couldn't.

He can't.

He never can.

It hurt.

All he could feel was the agony.

Sans had never let the DT melt his soul before…

He wondered if it would feel like this.

Someone was- screaming? He wasn’t sure if that’s how screams were supposed to sound.

And then-

 

It stopped. All of it.

The pain and the fear. The bone-crushing guilt and the grief.

It all just stopped.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

And then it was cool. Like a balm for the fire eating through his skull. It reminded him of a spring morning. It was cold and crisp, but so very alive. Like a held breath waiting for the warmth of the sun.

Sans didn't remember closing his eyes.

He opened them. And Papyrus was there.

His right eye glowed a brilliant, almost blinding, orange. He was in control. Something bad- something terrible had happened but Papyrus was calm. He had it and himself under control.

He didn’t move away, he stayed right there next to Sans. Papyrus was holding him up, Sans realized.

Then Papyrus removed his hand from Sans’ left eye. Sans had only had one eye open, but he hadn’t noticed. Between his brother’s phalanges wisps of orange magic flickered to green as they danced and shimmered softly.

“SANS? CAN YOU HEAR ME?”, Papyrus asked, concern whispered through his words.

“...yeah…”, Sans replied. It was weird. He wasn't used to not hurting.

“I FOUND THE MICROFISSURES ON YOUR HAND EARLY, BUT I DIDN'T SEE THE ONES IN YOUR EYE… YOU MUST HAVE BEEN IN A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN.” His brother explained softly, the concern was growing more pronounced.

Sans just nodded, he felt so tired. But it was okay because Papyrus was there… he could sleep.

“THIS IS THE KIND OF THING I WAS TALKING ABOUT, SANS. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE HURTING BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO WORRY. YOU WERE PROTECTING ME EVEN THOUGH IT WAS _LITERALLY_ CAUSING YOU PAIN.” Papyrus commented half-heatedly. “BUT YOU'RE SO OUT OF IT YOU WON'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. I AM GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS AGAIN…”

Papyrus released him and Sans slumped back against the couch. His eyes had drifted closed, but he was anything but asleep. If Papyrus had still been holding onto him, Sans was sure he’d have felt the sudden flood of emotions that ripped through him. Papyrus would have been able to feel the quiet ripping that was shredding Sans’ mind and soul.

 

Ha. And he’d thought nothing hurt.

 

His sleep-deprived mind finally caught up the with rest of him, now that all that pesky thought-destroying pain was gone. He remember what Papyrus had asked of him. He remembered what Papyrus had said. His brother had been sitting next to him, sobbing and Sans hadn’t done a damn thing. He didn’t have to interrupt his brother in order to offer comfort, but he’d been so wrapped up in himself and what he was feeling he hadn’t been able to help Papyrus. And then- then his brother had jumped to his aid, **again**. He’d healed Sans even though his soul was probably still raw and aching from everything he had said. And now he thought Sans hadn’t even been listening or wouldn’t be able to remember any of it.

 

“ _sucks, doesn’t it?_ ”

 

Sans hadn’t meant to say that, especially in that harsh of a tone, but it had just slipped out.

“WHAT?”, Papyrus questioned.

Sans flinched a little at the hurt in his brother’s voice. “nothin’... sorry, bro i didn’t mean that…” Sans muttered into the silence. He still hadn’t opened his eyes, maybe Pap would just think he’d been mumbling in his sleep?

Something poked Sans in the ribs. **Hard.**

His eyes snapped open and an “ow!” escaped him as he jerking away.

Papyrus was scowling at him. Sans could still see the weariness and the hurt in his brother’s eyes, but right now irritation reigned supreme. With the same finger that had likely just poked him, Papyrus jabbed at him. “THIS, THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT SANS! YOU JUST LIED! OBVIOUSLY WHAT YOU SAID HAD MEANING AND THEN YOU WENT AND BRUSHED IT OFF. EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID! EVEN AFTER I JUST HEALED YOU BECAUSE SOMETHING REMINDED YOU OF A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE AND IT HURT YOU SO BADLY THAT YOUR OWN MAGIC CRACKED YOUR BONES! THIS HAS TO STOP, SANS!”

Sans couldn’t help the grimace that pulled at his teeth. “pap, i get it. i really do. and i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i hurt you and that i made you feeling like you weren’t doing enough. i’m sorry that i made you feel like you’re at fault- or responsible for this, for any of it. but this is my problem and i can handle it-”

“YOU AREN’T LISTENING SANS! I **KNOW** THAT YOU LIED. I **KNOW** THAT YOU AREN’T HANDLING THIS. I **KNOW** THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG. AND I **KNOW** THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT!” Papyrus interrupted vehemently and his hands balled into fists. If he was standing Sans was pretty sure he’d have stomped his foot.

Watching his brother, loving him and remembering him as his little brother made the clawing feeling in his chest worse. Sans was amazed that his soul was able to withstand so much, especially since his HP was so low.

“what do you want me to say? yes, papyrus, i lie. i’m a liar, it’s who i am. and yes, this- this _thing_ i’m dealing with sucks, but i _am_ handling it! i **know** what i’m doing and this-” Sans gestured between them, “isn’t helping.”

A hiss of air escaped from between Papyrus’ teeth, then his brother grabbed the nearest throw pillow. The jerky motion made Sans scramble off the sofa, Papyrus might be considering hitting him with it. But instead of swinging his new weapon or throwing it, Papyrus pressed the pillow to his face and screamed. It shouldn’t have actually muffled the sound, but Papyrus always made sure to project his voice from his mouth so the pillow trick worked.

Even with the feathered dampener, Sans was still surprised that the screech didn’t crack the glass in the picture frames they had hanging on the walls. After the wail and a few more moments of silence, Papyrus removed the pillow from his glowering face. Sans couldn’t help it he had to ask, “better?”

Papyrus threw the pillow at him. Even in his angry state, Papyrus’ aim was spot on. The pillow bounced off Sans’ face harmlessly. Sans wanted to laugh, instead something deep in his soul started screaming. “what?”, Sans managed to say with a bit of a smile, or at least he hoped it looked like a smile.

“YOU KNOW WHAT.” Papyrus snapped back and crossed his arms. “AND I’M STILL NOT LETTING YOU CHANGE THE SUBJECT OR DISTRACT ME. WHY DID YOU SAY IT ‘SUCKS’ IF YOU DIDN’T REMEMBER THIS?”

Sans blanched. He wanted to- needed to leave. He couldn’t keep talking about this, but Papyrus didn’t seem to ready to let it go. “because it’d have hurt you even more to explain this all again. but you don’t, i know that you know. so yeah, i lie ta’ protect you and i’m working through some rough stuff, but i’ve got it. are we good?”  

The screaming got louder… or maybe it wasn’t screaming, was roaring more accurate?

“NO, SANS. NO WE ARE NOT GOOD.” Papyrus declared as he tossed his blanket off and got to his feet. “ACCEPTING THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP. NOW YOU HAVE TO SAY WHAT IT IS. YOU HAVE TO TELL ME- OR SOMEONE ELSE WHAT’S WRONG. I CAN’T LET YOU GO ON LIKE THIS ANYMORE, I CAN’T STAND BY AND WATCH YOU FALL-”, Papyrus cut himself off and looked away.

Sans could feel his fingers starting to shake so he stuffed his hands into his pockets, the softness of the fleece almost distracted him. _not my jacket._ “pap…” Sans almost whispered. “pap, look at me.” When he finally complied, Sans could see orange shimmers of magic around his brother’s eye orbits. “i am **not** going to fall down.”

Papyrus swiped at his face before he spoke, “YOU CAN’T KNOW THAT. NO ONE CAN, IT JUST HAPPENS TO MONSTERS WHO LOSE HOPE. AND- AND YOU DIDN’T SEE YOURSELF AFTER YOU GOT HOME- SANS-”

The roaring was more like screeching. Rending and twisting industrial steel would sound just like this... if, of course, it was being made by a living creature.

“i- i’m sure i was pretty rattled when i got home, but i’m f-”, Sans started to reply, but he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say those three little words. His magic was twisting inside his soul, inside his mind. It was screaming and breaking and-

 

_just say it._

_i just have ta’_ **_say it._ **

_just three words-_ _i just have to_ ** _say it-_**

**_say it._ **

**_say it!_ **

 

“SANS?”, Papyrus questioned. He was still wiping at tears, but he was watching Sans. He was _seeing_ Sans.

Sans tried to say it again, “i’m fi-” But he still couldn’t. He wished his eye was still broken, then he wouldn’t have to feel this, any of it, there would only be the pain. The pain would be better. “ _i’m fi-_ ”, he continued to choke on his own words.  It was like his soul was being crushed inside his ribcage, like something had his soul in its grasp. It didn’t hurt. Broken bones **hurt** . Falling Down **hurt** . Dying **hurt** . Being brought back **hurt** . **_Living hurt_ **.

This was worse.

And then Papyrus was there. He was always right there, even when Sans wished he wasn’t. His eye alight once more, but now Sans could see his own magic flickering and stuttering as his healed eye tried to ignite. It always bothered Sans how different their eyes looked. Papyrus’ that solid disk of concentrated magic with a cat’s pupil, all that control and practice holding in perfect equilibrium. He’d always been like that, for as long as Sans could remember. But Sans’ eye, it bled magic. It was wild and uncontrolled, it was messy and disordered and was scarred with yellow, just like his soul. It was dangerous… _He_ was dangerous and he was hurting his brother. Again.

“ **i’m fi-** ” Sans tried to shout it, but his soul just wouldn’t make it come out right. He needed to stop this. He needed to stop hurting Papyrus, and Tori and Frisk- He had to stop.

Papyrus was pulling at Sans’ hands. He was pulling them away from Sans’ face, but Sans couldn’t remember lifting them. But he didn’t let Sans go, he kept holding onto him. But Sans couldn’t- he can’t stay. Sans would only hurt Papyrus more and didn’t he see that! That this would only get worse and Sans just needed to leave. That was the only way!

“< DON’T GO. PLEASE SANS… STAY HERE, WITH ME. LET ME HELP YOU. >”

Sans could feel Papyrus’ words, he could feel Papyrus’ magic and his wants and hopes and dreams. And he was there, in all of them. When Papyrus imagined the future, Sans was always there with him…

“< i’m not fine. **i’m** not fine. i’m **not** fine. i’m not **fine**.  >” Sans just kept repeating over and over and over. He couldn’t stop. He tried to pull away, to get away before he dragged Papyrus down with him.

But Papyrus wouldn’t let go. No, his brother just held on tighter. He pulled Sans into a hug and just held on as something deep down in Sans’ soul finally let go. The twisting and the wrenching stopped. The screeching and the squeezing stopped. Sans stopped trying to pull away, he just stopped trying to be okay.

So he stood there with his brother and just let it out, all of the pent up fear and pain and memories. From every new memory, from every new timeline he could remember.

But it couldn’t last.

Sans knew it couldn’t.

It never did.

He had to tell Papyrus. He had to tell him that this wouldn’t last.

That it never did.

It took several more minutes of tears and body rattling sobs before Sans could manage, “ <... papyrus…>”

Papyrus pulled back just a bit and sniffled as heroically as he could given the situation. His eye had stopped glowing. “YES, BROTHER?”

Sans knew the irony of repeating Papyrus’ words back at him wouldn’t have meaning yet, but Sans felt like it was apropos. “i need ta’ tell you something… a lot of somethings, actually. but i need you to do a couple of things for me first…”

Now Papyrus pulled back a bit more, he studied Sans’ face carefully. Sans wondered if his eye was still trying to light up or if his soul  had just gave up on it. “ARE YOU SURE, YOU WANT TO DO THIS NOW?”

 

_heh, god papyrus could be so sensible when he wanted to be…_

 

“yeah. i am. if i put this off, i’ll come up with an excuse to not tell you. i always do.” Sans muttered and pulled Papyrus towards the couch with their still joined hands. “come on, let’s sit. this could take a while, every time i do this it gets longer so sitting’s better.”

“SANS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘EVERY TIME’? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU SAID THIS?”, Papyrus almost managed to keep the apprehension from his voice, but Sans knew his brother. But he didn’t answer until they had both settled back down on the sofa.

Sans kinda regretted it, sitting down. He was so **_tired_ **. He was scraping the bottom of the barrel magic wise, his soul was fucked up nine ways to hell and his vision was blurring. But he’d started this, so he’d better finish it. “i’ve told you this dozens of times and that’s part of the problem.”

Sans scrubbed at his face as he let that ‘fun’ fact sink in. “NO, SANS. I-”

 

“-REALLY DON’T THINK YOU HAVE.”

“-really don’t think you have.”

 

Sans managed to copy Papyrus’ inflection and cadence perfectly, because he’d heard it before. Papyrus was watching him with wide eye sockets. He started to speak again.

 

“OKAY, THAT WAS VERY STRANGE BUT-”

“okay, that was very strange but-”

 

“STOP DOING THAT!”

“stop doing that!”

 

“SANS THIS ISN’T FUNNY!”

“sans this isn’t funny!”

 

“WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CHILDISH-”

“why are you being so childish-”

 

When Papyrus started to speak again, irritation plan on his face, Sans held up a hand to get him to stop. “look, i could probably keep that up for several more sentences before you’d get irritated and leave, so let’s not.”

Papyrus huffed and crossed his arms in annoyance but he didn’t interrupt Sans.

“but i need you to listen to what i’m going to say. it’s gonna sound like- like i’m making it up at first and then it will start sounding horrible and mean and you won’t understand why i’m making up something so cruel. and then it’ll get worse and worse and then- then you’ll start to realize i’m not making this up. and you’re gonna freak out and then i’m gonna keep going and going and going and-” Sans stopped.

He needed to take a breath and distance himself. He couldn’t let himself feel it, not any of it. Because he knew he wouldn’t be able to finish if it started letting it matter. It didn’t matter, he couldn’t let it matter anymore. “and i need you to let me get through all of it before you ask questions or try to comfort me or- anything. okay? so just grab your notebook and start taking notes because it’ll help... at first.”

Papyrus was watching him with suspicion, but he complied with Sans’ directive. Now armed with a notepad and a pencil Papyrus settled back on the sofa. He was sitting completely on it, with his leg crossed and his back pressed against the armrest so he could fully face Sans. Sans copied his brother’s position, but he pulled his hoodie closer around himself. This part never made him feel good.

“i can’t expect you to forgive me for this, for any of it-”

“SANS DON’T BE RIDICULOUS!” Papyrus interjected, but before he could say more Sans went on.

“no- pap. you haven’t heard this yet, you can’t say stuff like that. but i need you to listen to all of it before you make any conclusions, one way or the other… this is bad, papyrus. really **really** bad.” Sans finished.

Papyrus didn’t say anything, but Sans could see the worry in his eyes. Sans sighed. It made his ribs rattle a little.

“just one more thing, before i start… pap, i love you. even after everything that’s happened, i still love you. i just really need you to remember that, okay?” Sans tried to keep the emotion from his voice, key word being ‘tried’.

Papyrus’ face softened and he smiled at Sans. “OF COURSE, BROTHER. AND I LOVE YOU!”

Sans tried to memorize that, the way he looked in rumpled pajamas and with tired eyes. The way his voice said those three heartfelt words, just in case. Just in case this time, with all of the new parts, Papyrus wouldn’t say it again.

Just in case.

 

It’d happened before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Something witty about enjoying your misery*


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter for me. I'm not sure if it was because I kept trying to write the story in my head instead of the story that made the most sense or because I had some hardcore writer's block but I am done trying to bend it to my will. This chapter isn't perfect but I think it will still get across what I need it to in order to continue the story (which I am, lol. sorry for the 6 month delay...).

Sans could feel sleep slip away from him. Awareness slowly washed into his mind… it hurt. It was first thing he always felt when he woke up. 

 

Being asleep never hurt.

That part always sucked some, waking up to the exhaustion and the pain. Whether it was because his bones were stiff from the hours of stillness or because his joints just plain  _ sucked _ or an old injury decided to bother him, being awake always hurt on some level. At this point, waking up to the low grade aches and pains were synonymous with life. He’d always woken up like that, ever since he was a kid... if he wasn’t screaming, that is. 

But that didn’t mean he wanted to move... 

...But he also knew the longer he sat still the keener each ache and pain would become. Sans cracked a tired eye-orbit and stared past his dark room into the nothingness of empty thought. 

Then he shifted a little and pressed the unlock on his phone. The blinding light made him wince, but he still moved the device closer to read it’s clock. 

 

_ 6:28 AM _

_ shit.  _

 

His alarm was supposed to go off at 6:30, so  _ naturally  _ he’d woken up two minutes before that happened. That was one of the many reasons he hated setting an alarm. On his long,  **long** list of ‘fuck you, alarm clocks’, Sans was fairly sure ‘waking up several minutes before the alarm but not early enough to actually want to get out of bed’ ranked pretty high. 

He felt his ribs make a sighing motion, but no air left his chest cavity. Sans could continue to ‘fake breathe’ when he was asleep but only for a short while, at least that’s what Pap had said. It was, apparently, one of the many indicators Papyrus used to tell a) how long his brother had been asleep and b) whether he was actually sleeping or was just ‘PRACTICING EXCESSIVE STILLNESS IN AN ATTEMPT TO IMITATE SLEEP AND AVOID WORK.’ This  _ fun fact _ had been a very new discovery, one Papyrus had only just told him about... last Monday... after-  **everything** . They had talked late into Sunday and well into Monday morning. 

Sans rolled away from his phone to stare at his dust-free ceiling fan. He knew his inherent entropic nature had begun to reclaim his bedroom, but the dust and musty smell hadn’t returned yet. 

 

_ what am i gonna do… _

 

And that was one hell of a question, wasn’t it? It encompassed so much and yet it said so little. 

Monday had gone exactly the way he’d expected it to. Papyrus had called them both in sick, Sans had curled up in bed and pretended to sleep while Pap bustled around the apartment doing all the things that ‘bustling’ entailed. Like always, Papyrus pretty much left him alone unless it was to bring him food and like always Sans didn’t eat. Papyrus protested but only out of habit and then he left Sans alone again. Rinse, repeat. They both had needed time to think and mull and, in Sans’ case, brood. He knew he brooded from time to time, but the word and action still seemed so stupid, so he’d never openly admitted to doing it-

 

_ “What are you doing all the way out here, my dear? Brooding in the sun? Is that not an activity done in the dark?”  _

_ Sans looked up from where he’d been sitting, his book lay forgotten in his lap. Toriel stood there in her long flowing gown; it was the same dress she’d worn every day since she’d moved back into the castle, but Sans never got tired of seeing her in it. He never got tired of  _ **_seeing_ ** _ her, period. “i dunno if’d call brooding an in-the-dark kinda thing, but it is an alone thing. so with you here i guess i can’t be brooding, now can i?”  _

_ Her laughter filled the old cavern. Sans wished it’d fill the cracks in his broken soul, just like it used to, but… too much had changed.  _

_ He laughed with her.  _

 

Sans let out a shuddering breath and swiped at the magic pooling near his eye-orbits.  _ that was a memory. _ He was getting better at identifying them when they happened now, especially if he was awake when he flashed back to one. 

 

_ heartsick.  _

 

That’s what this new memory made him feel. Sometimes they were funny or sad or melancholy, but they were always tinged with guilt and an overwhelming sense of bittersweet, usually more bitter than sweet. This one though, this one made him  **hurt** , but not for himself. He hurt for her, for Toriel. 

She had needed her friend more than ever those first few days after she’d become Queen again and Sans hadn’t been there for her. He kept slinking off like a wounded animal trying to lick its’ wounds. That time he’d traipsed all the way into the Ruins to hide, because even in the months after the human had left the Underground, the nightmares still haunted him.  _ at least back then i’d thought they were just nightmares… small blessings. _ The count in his notebook had grown again and Sans had known that it wouldn’t last. It was the one thing he  _ always  _ knew. But she, the Queen of all Monsters, the woman who was trying to put the Kingdom to rights again, had left her duties and her people in search of a good-for-nothing like him. And it was a long hike from New Home to the Ruins, especially when she couldn’t just fold herself through time-space like he had. She was so honest, so open with him and he hadn’t- couldn’t reciprocate it. 

 

_ even after all this time, it still hurts...  _

 

Maybe it bothered him so much because now he could. Because now he could tell her. He could tell her just like he’d finally told Papyrus,  _ again _ ... She deserved to know, she deserved the truth… 

 

***DEE DEE DEE-***

 

Sans snapped his eyes open and hurriedly swiped at his phone to silence it. He sneered at the electronic device and tried to decide if it’d be childish to tell it that its mother was a 4-function calculator and its father was a floppy disk. Instead, he did the worst possible thing he could have done in this situation, he laid back down. 

 

He needed to get up.

He needed to get up and get dressed. 

He needed to get up and get dressed and leave for work. 

He needed to get up and get dressed and leave for work  **before** Papyrus got up. 

 

Sans rolled onto his side and stared at the dark silhouette of his locked door. On the other side of that door was Papyrus’ room, door just as closed but he never locked it. His brother would be sound asleep, all cosy in bed, and at exactly 6:50 he’d get up without the aid of an alarm. Papyrus was perfectly punctual, even in his sleep. That made Sans smile a little. 

Today was his brother’s day off, so he didn’t need to be awake at five o’clock to get in a run before he went to help the restaurant staff open. Which was what he had done Tuesday and Wednesday. He’d left for work long before Sans had even bothered to get up. It made it so easy for Sans, he didn’t even have to put any effort in trying to avoid his brother. Sans cringed. 

But that’s what he’d been doing. 

He couldn’t stand being around Papyrus in the days after he found out about the resets. Papyrus acted as though anything and everything might set Sans off. Like suddenly his older brother was incredibly fragile and one wrong word would break him. Sans hated that, the guilty looks, the small hesitations every time Papyrus tried to say something, the tiptoeing around.  _ uck _ . He hadn’t told Papyrus to make him change how he treated Sans, he told Papyrus just so his brother would  **know** . That was it. He could handle this on his own, he just didn’t think it was fair to keep Papyrus in the dark… 

 

_ and maybe if i keep saying that, one day i’ll believe it.  _

 

But it’d get better. Once he and Papyrus interacted with someone else, Papyrus would see that Sans was okay and this phase would pass. That’s how it always worked, so Sans had to be sleeze for one more day and then it was Frisk’s b-day. They’d go to work in the morning and Sans would bounce over to the restaurant, then he and Pap would head to the kid’s place for their birthday bash. Papyrus would see that everything was okay. Sans would show him that he was good and that there was no need to act all weird around him and they would go back to their usual routine. He liked their routine. It was simple and calm and normal.  _ and i almost never get to see him… _

Sans pushed that thought aside because it didn’t matter. Papyrus was happy, so it didn’t matter. 

So Sans needed to get up and get dress and go to work.

 

. 

.

.

 

Sans blew out his breath and pushed himself up.  _ shirt. jeans. shoes. jacket. phone.  _

 

Sans began collecting his clothes and considered what he wanted to do after work. He’d gone to Grillby’s the last two nights in a row and stayed until closing. Grillby’d get suspicious if Sans went a third night in a row, but he wouldn’t do anything until the fifth day of consecutive bar-meandering and since this- funk wouldn’t last that long it shouldn’t be a problem. That first night had been a tad awkward, whenever Papyrus called in the troops to look for him it was always a bit weird. But Sans could handle it, all he had to do was what he did best, make it a joke. The gang laughed and pulled him back into their shenanigans like nothing had happened. God, they were an easy bunch. But Grillby,  _ like always _ , had his doubts. He wouldn’t serve Sans anything with alcohol in it, not that Sans had bothered to order anything like that. Ketchup was just fine with him, thanks. 

But as the night had wound down and the bar cleared out, he and Grillbz had talked. Not about anything important, just about mundane everyday stuff. It was nice. Yesterday they’d talked about Frisk’s party and Grillby had given Sans his present for them; Grillbz couldn’t make it to the bash, but he had a soft spot for the kid.  _ everyone does.  _ But he’d also told Sans something. He, in one of his rare moments of openness, had confided in Sans. 

 

_ “ _ . _ ………….. After the war, I believed that I did not need help. Naively, I assumed I had been unaffected by my military career. But do you know what the hardest part was?” Grillby asked as he finished locking up the pub. _

_ “what?”, Sans asked around a yawn. _

_The flame elemental turned towards Sans and for a moment his features became more defined. Sans could see his eyes more clearly behind his magical spectacles. “_. _………….._ _Admitting I that was wrong.”_

 

Sans had nodded his response, he knew what Grillby had meant. He knew what Grillby had really said, but all Sans could think as he dragged his tired bones into bed was _ ‘what does it mean when someone as stoic as grillbz starts repeating himself…’ _ For he had heard that advice before.

Sans hissed under his breath as he crouched down to stuff his laces into his shoes. He really didn’t think his knees should make those kinds of popping sounds, but c’est la vie. Honestly, he just wished Grillby was right, that talking with someone about what was wrong, that getting help was the hardest part, but it wasn’t. Because what Grillby had been through had been horrific and mind-alteringly tragic, but he hadn’t been alone. So many from his lifetime had seen the war and the tragedy and the pain of loved-ones dead in the streets… but no one had seen what Sans had. He was alone. And no matter how much he tried to explain or describe what had happened, they’d never  **know** . They’d never be able to understand what it was like, the loops, the loss, the isolation… they would never know what Falling Down felt like… And he  **never** wanted them to.  **Ever** . 

 

…  _ frisk. _

 

He knew the kid had been through a hell just like his own and even the flower, to some extent, knew what it was like to be trapped in time, but-  **he couldn’t** . He just couldn’t bring himself to talk with them. Besides the kid was recovering,  _ hell maybe even the flower’s gettin’ less pissy _ , so there was no point in dragging them back into all of it. Sans just needed some more time to get his footing again and he’d be okay. 

 

_ and if Frisk ever needs ta’ talk, i’ll be right here… they know that. _

 

Really he just needed to level out emotion-wise, once he was on stable ground again he’d be- 

 

...fine.

 

Sans tugged on his spare coat with a sigh and scrubbed at his tired eyes. Papyrus still hadn’t returned his real jacket.  _ heh, maybe he’s holding it hostage until we talk. _ Sans wished the joke had felt more like the snarky remark he had meant it to be, but he still continued getting ready. Sans unplugged his phone and stuffed it into his coat pocket; it actually fit rather nicely- Not that his  _ real _ hoodie had shallower pockets ‘er anything… his phone just fit a bit better in this jacket’s fleece-y ones, that’s all. 

 

_ i still want my hoodie back… _

 

Sans shook the need to make excuses for his old coat from his mind as he headed for his bedroom door. He had decided to forgo the peril of trying to make coffee without waking up Papyrus, so with a quick shortcut he’d just pop into that handy alley near that new café deal-ly. It was a monster food only place and it had Muffet’s official spider seal of approval, given that she was providing the shop with all of its baked goods. Sans could picture the alley with its dim lighting and the wonderful smell of freshly baked spider doughnuts competing with the rancid dumpster stench emitting from the offending bin just behind him. Sans felt his magic gather, he felt it coil ready to make the connection as he reached for his door-

 

The three sticky notes stopped him cold. 

 

Hand and body still in his room, Sans changed his motion and grabbed at the little squares that had been carefully adhered above his door knob. His magic unwound, settling uncomfortably around him as he read. 

 

‘SANS AS YOUR WONDERFUL ROOMMATE AND BROTHER I MUST REQUEST-’

‘THAT YOU REFRAIN FROM TAKING ANYMORE “SHORTCUTS” WHILE INSIDE THE APARTMENT.’

‘IT IS VERY RUDE TO NOT USE THE FRONT DOOR. -THE GREAT PAPYRUS’

 

_ crap, were those here when i got home last night? _

 

Sans couldn’t remember. But whatever the case Papyrus was clearly tired of Sans avoiding him via temporal distortions. Temporal distortions that Sans had just re-explained to his brother, albeit with a lot more detail this time... among other things. Papyrus had been seriously- um, disconcerted by that and Sans really couldn’t blame him; it’d scared the crap out of him too when he first realized that his magic could now affect more than just gravity. Time was a tricky bitch.

So new plan. Sans would just sneak out through the front door and then take a shortcut-  _ shit. human security cameras in the hall. _ Okay so, new  **new** plan. He’d sneak out through the front door, take the elevator down, and  **then** take a shortcut once he got outside. Now, all he had to do was make sure he didn’t wake up his brother and he was set. 

 

_ yeah, i just have to be really quiet so i can sneak out of my house even though i know my bro wants to talk to me… because only  _ **_good_ ** _ and  _ **_kind_ ** _ and  _ **_loving_ ** _ siblings ignore the wishes of their only living family. i’m just a  _ **_top notch_ ** _ monster...  _

 

Sans slowly turned the knob and carefully pushed the door open. He didn’t bother repressing the guilt that washed over him as he caught himself appreciating the fact that Papyrus kept all their hinges oiled because he’d never have been able to do this otherwise. He knew Pap wanted to talk to him, so he deserved to feel guilty for running away. He deserved to feel the vile appetite-killing taste start to taint his magic, because he was going to do it anyway. He was going to hurt Papyrus feelings by sneaking out and he was gonna do it well.

With practiced ease, Sans shifted onto his more distal metatarsals and softened his footfalls. The floorboards would squeak if he was too heavy so he’d have to find the right balance between too heavy and too weightless to move efficiently. Sans had never wanted his brother to feel like he couldn’t be himself, but that was exactly what would happen if they talk before Frisk’s party. Papyrus would be uncomfortable and unable to find his footing with Sans and  _ that _ was far worse than anything Sans was feeling. He’d hurt his brother so many times the last few days, but he knew that feeling helpless would hurt Papyrus more. 

So really, this was the best thing for both of them, they just had to deal with this for one more day and it’d be okay.  _ and i’m  _ **_not_ ** _ trying to make excuses for my behavior… right.  _ Sans crept silently down the short hall, not even his clothes rustled. He’d had a lot of practice sneaking around… more than he’d first realized if his temporally dislocated memories could be trusted. It made the experience all the more painful as he stepped past the table. 

Now he just had to use a little magic to grab his keys from the bowl,  _ carefully _ , and he’d be out-

 

When the overhead light flicked on Sans almost jumped out of his shoes, but his reflexes and paranoia spared him the embarrassment of a startled shriek. He had already started turning before his soul had even processed what had happened. His feet automatically shifted back, moving his center of gravity with the skill of an old vice to distance himself from whatever was behind him. 

Papyrus looked less than pleased. Still in his sleepwear, but completely awake he crossed his arms and gave Sans a pointed look. “IT IS NICE TO KNOW THAT EVEN YOU CAN MANAGE TO RISE AT AN EARLY HOUR… IF ONLY OUT OF NECESSITY.” He sounded entirely unamused.

A quick panicked grin pulled at Sans’ face as his brain tried desperately to think of something to say to make this less awful than it already was, but he came up blank. “... uh… mornin’ pap…”  

“GOOD MORNING SANS.” Papyrus replied, but he didn’t uncross his arms he just stood in the hall and maintained his look of supreme disapproval. 

“i... um… i’m just- i was just headin’ ta’ work early, ya’ know… since i’m duckin’ out early tomorrow i just figured i’d be better if i- i put in some more time today…” Sans tried to explain. He wasn’t lying. Technically. 

“I SEE. WELL I, CERTAINLY, WON’T STOP YOU FROM SUDDENLY TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF AND CHANGING YOUR IDLE WAYS.” Papyrus said in that same disapproving tone, but now he moved out of the hall and into the kitchenette, switching on the fluorescent light as he went. 

Sans didn’t move, though. Papyrus had turned his back on him and began pulling things out of the fridge and cabinets. 

 

_ what’s that supposed ta’ mean?  _

_ does he want me to go or not? was that like a passive aggressive command to stay put or does he actually want to encourage my work-ethic ‘reform’ even if he’s upset with me? _

_ fuck, this would be so much easier with coffee. _

 

“OR-” Papyrus cut into Sans’ internalized confusion, “-YOU COULD GO SIT ON THE COUCH AND STAY A LITTLE LONGER... I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IN DAYS...” 

 

He should go. 

 

He knew this wasn’t going to help and it would only leave them both in more pain than when they started. Leaving was the right thing to do, for both of them… But he hadn’t seen Papyrus either. And now that his brother was right  _ there _ the soul deep ache he hadn’t even noticed, vanished. 

 

The absence of pain might not have been bliss, but he couldn’t prove that now.

 

With an overwhelming sense grateful defeat, Sans slunk over to the couch and dropped onto. This wasn’t going to be good, but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to care. Avoiding his problems was a full-time job and now that he wasn’t trying to, his exhaustion crept back in washing out the soul-lurching terror from a few moments ago. Sans closed his eyes and put his feet up on the coffee table. Papyrus would inevitably tell him to get his feet off the table and he would, but that was just part of their routine. 

One he’d missed so much the last few days… or maybe it was more like months. 

Sans couldn’t exactly remember when they’d last sat on the couch together just for the sake of the other’s company.

 

And wasn’t that the real tragedy here? 

Not Sans’ inner woes… 

Paps’ and his bond…  _ it’s been so strained _ .

_ is it breaking?  _

_ are we losing each other?  _

_ have we been pulling apart for months now?  _

_ but that’s good… right? _

_ he’s supposed to be making a life for himself. _

_ one independent- separate from me…  _

_ that way i won’t hurt him when i di-  _

 

“SANS! GET YOUR FILTHY SHOES OFF OF OUR COFFEE TABLE!” 

 

Sans’ head snapped up and he blinked to clear his blurred vision. Papyrus stood on his left, a mug in each hand and a very Papyrus-ish scowl across his face, googly eyes and all. “right, right. sorry.” Sans mumbled as he complied. 

He sat up a bit more and Papyrus offered him one of the mugs. Sans accepted it gingerly as Papyrus moved passed him. He then proceeded to settle himself next to Sans, pulling his sofa-quilt off of the back of the couch where it had been tossed. Once he was all situated, Papyrus turned the tv on. It was set to Mettaton’s 6 AM Update,  _ of course _ , with the volume off. Subtitles scrolled across the screen, but Sans didn’t bother to read them. Papyrus didn’t say anything, he just watch the morning broadcast and sipped at what Sans assumed was hot chocolate. 

If Papyrus wasn’t going to start this conversation, Sans sure as hell wasn’t. He was more than happy to let Pap stall in anyway he wanted, just as long as Sans got to sit there in the quiet and enjoy the way his mug warmed and soothed his aching joints. Sometimes his hands would stiffen up and holding something warm always seemed to help. 

 

Finally, he took a sip of the frothy drink and blinked in surprise. 

 

It wasn’t hot chocolate- or not just hot chocolate. It had coffee and ketchup mixed into the sugary cocoa mix. But when had Papyrus had time to brew coffee? Sans hadn’t had his eyes closed for that long and he hadn’t heard the telltale gurgle of their finicky machine… 

And then it clicked. 

He’d been up already. 

The quilt already on the couch, the tv already muted and on Mettaton’s show, fresh coffee pre-brewed… Papyrus hadn’t been woken up by Sans, he’d been waiting for Sans. 

And wasn’t  **that** just like Papyrus. 

He’d formulated a plan and executed it flawlessly; so long as he had the time to prepare, that is. Papyrus wasn’t as good as rolling with the punches as Sans was, but with a little preparation and some forewarning Pap could carry out a mission like a seasoned general. 

 

A perfect, kind, friendship-shaped general. 

 

_ brings a whole new meaning ta’ kill ‘em with kindness... _

 

Sans snorted into his mug as he took another sip of his tomato-y mocca. His shoulders slumped some more as he settled back into the sofa, confetti rained down on the screen as Mettaton passed the ball to Woshua for the week’s weather report. The skeleton brothers sipped at warm mugs in the silence of a November morning. 

 

* * *

Sans swirled the dregs in his mug around. Papyrus still hadn’t said anything, but Sans was out of time. 

He actually had to leave for work now, lest he incur the ire of Glenda the good b-  _ witch _ from hell…  _ oh joy. _

 

It was nearly 8 and yet Papyrus had held his peace, letting Sans enjoy his. The quiet comfort his brother always seemed to provide had seeped into his every bone and he felt better for it. A lot better… Actually, this was probably the best he’d felt in weeks so he couldn’t- shouldn’t just leave without letting Papyrus say what he’d clearly been waiting to say… or could he? 

Why start a conversation that was probably going to take all day when he had to leave soon anyway? Papyrus would get that…  _ i mean, that’s probably why he hasn’t said anything yet anyway. _

Sans finished his drink and plopped the empty mug onto the coffee table as he sat up. “thanks, for that paps… for all of this actually. heh, i guess i just needed ta’ respect my  **roots** as a couch potato a bit more.” 

Papyrus snorted his derision, but didn’t interrupt Sans. 

“-but i’ve gotta get to work so...”, Sans trailed off meaningfully. Still Papyrus didn’t say anything, he just watched Sans with an almost calculating stare. “...see ya’ later.” Sans finished, not entirely sure what to make of Papyrus’ expression. 

When Papyrus still didn’t say anything Sans started to get up only for Papyrus’ words to stop him. “WHY ARE YOU WORKING?” 

The question felt like it had come out of the blue and startled Sans enough that he flopped back onto the couch. Sans sent Papyrus a confused stare. “wha?” 

Maybe he just hadn’t heard Papyrus correctly… 

“WHY DO YOU-” Papyrus gestured at Sans with his mug for emphasis this time, “-HAVE TO GO WORK?” 

“pfft. heheheheheheh heh.” Sans chuckled, he couldn’t help it. Because there was no way Papyrus was being serious. Not his brother, president of the ‘work ethic and studious pursuits’ committee, it was just absurd to think about! But when Papyrus only met his laughter with an unamused brow-ridge Sans reigned in his giggles. “oh come pap! you can’t be serious.”

“OF COURSE I CAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS SERIOUS, UNLESS THE SITUATION CALLS FOR A LESS SERIOUS APPROACH. SO I WILL REPEAT FOR YOUR SAKE AND FOR THE OBVIOUS ENJOYMENT ALL SOULS FIND IN MY MELODIOUS TONES: WHY ARE YOU WORKING, SANS? OR MORE SPECIFICALLY, WHY ARE YOU WORKING SOMEWHERE THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY?” Papyrus elaborated with all the pomp he could muster in pjs. 

Sans snorted a little and shook his head. “come on, pap. now i love listenin’ to you as much as the next guy, but you and i both know you’re jokin’. so what’s up?.” Sans finally asked, no point for both of them to beat around the bush. 

Papyrus shifted on the sofa so he could face Sans better and scowled, “I MIGHT JAPE THE OCCUPATIONAL HUMAN AND THE MORE OCCASIONAL BROTHER, BUT I AM NOT JOKING. I, THE EVER WONDERFUL AND TOLERANT PAPYRUS, AM BEING VERY SERIOUS. I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO WORK WHEN WE ARE FINANCIALLY STABLE AND DO NOT NEED MULTIPLE BACON-WINNERS IN THIS HOUSEHOLD?”

 

_ what? bacon winners- oh, pfft!  _ **_bread_ ** _ winner and-  _

 

Sans hesitated as his mind tried to process the rest of what Papyrus had said, but his brother wasn’t in the mood to wait for him. “WE HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH GOLD- MONEY SAVED UP FOR US TO MAINTAIN THIS APARTMENT, BOTH OF OUR VEHICLES- ALTHOUGH I DO NOT THINK YOUR MOTORCYCLE COUNTS AS A FORM OF SAFE AND RELIABLE TRANSPORTATION UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES- OUR UTILITIES, AND GROCERIES FOR THE NEXT NINE AND A HALF MONTHS. NOT INCLUDING THE FUNDS WE HAVE IN SAVINGS OR ARE RECEIVING FROM OUR SEMI-ANNUAL STIPEND. SO WHY ARE YOU WORKING WHEN YOU SO OBVIOUSLY DISLIKE IT?”  

“pap- bro, i gotta work, ‘sides since when were you interested in our finances?”, Sans fired back as his mind reeled, but he couldn’t let Papyrus know that. His questions, or really  **question** , had a simple answer- but… Sans had never really given it any thought, because he’d always worked. He’d always needed to, it was just a thing he and every other soul had to do, right? There really wasn’t anything more to this… work was work, plain and simple.

Like Sans had expected Papyrus had been caught off guard by the question and fumbled briefly with the answer so as not to lose his high ground in their verbal spar. “I- I HAVE SIMPLY LET YOU HANDLE OUR FINANCE IN THE PAST BECAUSE… YOU SO CLEARLY ENJOYED THE MATHEMATICAL ELEMENTS INVOLVED IN MAINTAINING OUR RECORDS. I WAS MERELY BEING THE MOST EXCELLENT BROTHER THAT I ALWAYS AM. BUT! MORE RECENTLY I HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE A MORE HANDS-ON APPROACH TO OUR MONETARY STATUS DUE TO MY IMPENDING EDUCATIONAL FEES. NYEH HEH HEH!”, Papyrus exclaimed with anticipated delight.

“and that’s exactly why i gotta work, pap. ‘cause you got school and we got gyftmas/christmas comin’ up. we gotta be prepared.” Sans remarked with a smirk,  _ thank you pap for that handy segway…  _ “speaken’ of gyftmas, have any ideas about presents?” 

“OH YES! I HAVE A LIST OF THINGS I THINK EVERYONE WOULD BE MOST DELIGHTED TO RECEIVE ON OUR TRAGIC CELEBRATORY HOLIDAY!” Papyrus latched onto the topic with the passion and enthusiasm he always had, ever since he was a baby bones. 

 

_ nothing like presents and holiday cheer to distract a soul as genuinely kind and loving as papyrus’- _

 

“BUT ALL OF THAT CAN WAIT, UNTIL AFTER WE FINISH OUR VERY IMPORTANT CONVERSATION ABOUT YOUR CURRENTLY UNNECESSARY EMPLOYMENT.”, Papyrus continued. Sans could see a smug grin peeking around Papyrus’ mug as he proved to be impervious to Sans’ subject changing tactics.  _ shit. _

“oh,” Sans shrugged as his hands migrated to his pockets, “i sorta figured we’d finished with that. i’ve gotta work and so do you, that’s just how the spider-pastry flakes.” His phanages petted the soft material absentmindedly.

With an exaggerated sigh Papyrus leaned over to the coffee table to place his mug down,  _ on a coaster, _ next to Sans’ before returning his attention to the shorter skeleton next to him.  _ his arms are long enough he barely has to shift…  _

Apparently deciding to switch tactics, Papyrus went on in a less enthusiastic tone, “SANS, IF YOU COULD DO ANYTHING TODAY, WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES, WHAT WOULD IT BE?” 

Well, damnit. Again with the questions that seemed to come out of nowhere. “whaddya mean?”, Sans tried to stall so he could figure out the actual purpose of the question. 

“I MEAN, THAT IF YESTERDAY DIDN’T EXIST AND TOMORROW DIDN’T MATTER WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY? HOW WOULD YOU SPEND THE PRESENT?” The younger skeleton-monster’s gaze seemed to focus unwaveringly on Sans, despite having no apparent eye-lights. 

Sans did not squirm, no matter how much he wanted too. It bothered him so much when people  _ noticed _ him; he’d spent so much of his life trying to be as bland and unobtrusive as possible that the attention made him squirrely. It was almost worse when it was people he was close too, because they had more opportunities to notice- to notice all of the  **wrongness** that seemed to surround him. 

And yes, Papyrus knew about that now- well, at least enough to understand why his brother was so weird sometimes, but still… 

“with a bow, i guess?”, Sans joked with a shrug, not sure how else to answer. 

But when Papyrus’ brow-ridges drew down in response to his joke, Sans sigh, “oh... i dunno, bro…” 

Sans let his eyes roam around the room as he racked his brain for a decent response, but he just ended up saying the first thing that his over-tired mind could come up with, “-i guess i’d just sit on the couch all day an’ eat potato chisps... heh, but as i have been informed by you and so many others that’s not the healthiest thing for my lazybones so...” Sans shrugged again. 

Papyrus frowned at him, but he didn’t seem to be upset a Sans so much as he was upset that he didn’t have an answer for that. Sans felt his guilt from earlier creep back in, he’d known that this was what was going to happen. Maybe not exactly like this, but Pap was gonna end up more hurt than when they’d started and Sans played a key role in that chain of events. Sans got to his feet and didn’t bother to wince as his bones creaked, “look, pap. i didn’t mean ta’ upset you and i’m sorry i can’t stay to fix it, but i’ll make it up to you, i swear. but i really do have to go.” 

Papyrus still didn’t say anything so Sans turned away, “see later, pap.” This was gonna eat at him all day…  _ good.  _

“WHAT IF I WAS, PERHAPS, WRONG?”, Papyrus words caught Sans off guard and he turned back to stare at his younger brother. The taller skeleton hadn’t gotten up but he had turned to look at Sans, his angular face apprehensive and uncertain. Two qualities that no one would ever use to describe the Great Papyrus. 

Sans wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he waited. It’d always seemed to work for him… 

Papyrus still didn’t try to stand, but he did fidget slightly. “I KNOW THAT IT IS UNFATHOMABLE TO THINK THAT SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME COULD EVER BE INCORRECT ABOUT SOMETHING, BUT IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. I WAS WRONG ABOUT THE LITTLE HUMAN AFTER ALL!” Papyrus tried to sound enthusiastic but his smile dimmed a bit when he glanced at Sans. “WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS- IS THAT THE OCCASIONAL DAY OF SHOW ‘BINGING’ AND THE CONSUMPTION OF THINGS THAT ARE NOT NEARLY SO NUTRITIONALLY BALANCED OR FILLING AS SPAGHETTI COULD PROVE TO HAVE CERTAIN UNFORESEEN BENEFITS.”

 

_ … what. _

 

Papyrus had railed on Sans so much about eating right and being active for as long as he could remember, it was mind-boggling to think his brother would just suddenly change his mind. And Papyrus was right, of course! Being a lazy couch-bum was in no way good for him, hell that was part of the reason he did it, but why would Papyrus  **want** him to do it, to just be so unhealthy? 

When Sans didn’t manage to say anything Papyrus continued in an attempt to fill the silence, “OBVIOUSLY THIS COULD NOT BE AN EVERYDAY KIND OF THING… BUT MAYBE WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO ARRANGE SOMETHING LIKE THIS ONCE A MONTH. PLANNED OUT AND SCHEDULED WELL IN ADVANCE, SO I COULD MAKE SURE I HAVE PREPARED MYSELF FOR THE DAY OF SLOTH, BUT- WHAT? WHAT’S WITH THE FACE?” Papyrus suddenly questioned when his eyes had finally shifted back to Sans. 

Sans hadn’t realized he’d been making a face until he felt the smile that had stretched across his, heh,  **bone** -weary skull. Something warm and fuzzy was filling his ribcage and it took him a second to realize why, Papyrus had said ‘we’. 

He want to make this a regular thing  **they** did,  **together** . 

It was more than Sans thought he deserved, to have a brother as kind and understanding and just so damned perfect as Papyrus but he was so glad he had his brother. 

The laugh in his voice wasn’t something he could help but Sans replied anyway, “what, bro? like the lazy days we used ta’ do when you were a baby bones?” 

That same spark of amusement caught in Papyrus’ eye and he grinned back fiercely, it’d have made Undyne proud. “EXACTLY LIKE THOSE LAZY DAYS! BUT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BECAUSE A) I AM NOT A BABY BONES AND B) I AM NOT SO LITTLE ANYMORE THAT YOU CAN BULLY ME INTO WATCHING WHATEVER YOU WANT TO! NYEH!” 

Sans snorted. “oh yeah, pap. do ya’ really think i can’t beat you in a fight?”, Sans quirked his brow with his mouth. The smirk reached his eye-light, Sans could feel his magic spark brighter in them. 

That challenge gleamed back at him from Papyrus’ own eyes, as orange sparks danced to life in his eye-orbits. “NOT ONLY DO I THINK I CAN BEAT YOU SANS, I ALSO THINK I COULD DO IT WITHOUT MAGIC~”, he taunted. 

Sans, ready to prove to his baby brother just how wrong he was, felt his smile freeze on his face as he noticed the time on the bottom corner of Mettaton’s program. 

 

_ 8:11 AM _

_ damn it...  _

_ goddamn it!  _

 

He had to clockin in four minutes. 

Why did life have to jump up and bite him in the ass when he least expected it? 

Papyrus had noticed his expression and glanced back to the tv, not sure what Sans had seen to put him on edge. “SANS? WHAT IS IT?” 

“it’s- nothin’ bro… i just caught a glance of the clock, i- gotta go…” Sans muttered with a head shake. “guess’ll have ta’ put your reminder about ‘big bro privileges’ off until another time, heh.” Sans managed to make his voice sound cheerful even though he didn’t feel it. 

“OR-” Papyrus started to say as he stood up, “YOU COULD STAY.” Hands gesturing towards Sans, almost like a plea of their own for him to stay.  

Sans snorted and shook his head, “yeah, right pap. i can’t just play hooky-” 

“SINCE WHEN?”, Papyrus exclaimed exasperation filling his words as he interrupted Sans. “THAT NEVER SEEMED TO BE AN ISSUE BEFORE. EVER. NOT EVEN WITH THE LOOMING THREAT OF THE VERY AWESOME AND FORMIDABLE CAPTAIN UNDYNE BREATHING DOWN YOUR SPINE.” 

Sans just shook his head again, “yeah, bro. but that was undyne, the worst she could do was yell and glare at me-”

“AND WHAT THE HUMANS COULD DO IS SOMEHOW WORSE?”, Papyrus interrupted again as he started poking holes in Sans argument. 

“seriously, pap. it just matters more now, is all-”, Sans tried to explain but once again he was cut off.

“I REPEAT, SINCE WHEN?”, Papyrus argued, “WHY DOES WHAT THE HUMANS THINK SUDDENLY MATTER TO YOU? PEOPLE’S OPINIONS OF YOU NEVER SEEMED TO BOTHER YOU SO WHY DO THEY NOW?”

Irritation started to creep into Sans’ voice, but he kept it mild. “it’s not their opinions that matter, exactly.”

“THEN WHY? WHY ARE YOU SO SET ON WORKING SOMEWHERE THAT YOU ARE EXCEPTIONALLY OVERQUALIFIED FOR, THAT MAKES YOU VISIBLE UNHAPPY, AND ISN’T REQUIRED FOR OUR FINANCIAL STABILITY?” Papyrus huffed emphatically. “ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU COULD BE WORKING AT THE UNIVERSITY, SOMEWHERE THAT WOULD CHALLENGE YOU INTELLECTUALLY AND THAT WOULD SO CLEARLY MAKE YOU HAPPY.”

Sans started to speak, but stopped. 

 

Because that was a very good question… and Sans didn’t have an answer for it. 

 

His doubt must have shown on his face because Papyrus went on in much less demanding tone, “WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHAT I THINK?” Sans made no move to interrupt him. “I THINK, THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SPENDING A GREAT DEAL OF TIME AND ENERGY, SOMETHING THAT YOU SO VERY RARELY DO, ON KEEPING UP APPEARANCES. ON MAINTAINING A HOLDING PATTERN THAT YOU THINK EVERYONE IS EXPECTING OF YOU BECAUSE IT WAS HOW YOU BEHAVED IN THE UNDERGROUND.” 

Sans didn’t argue, or speak, or move for that matter. Because that sounded an awful lot like something he would do. 

 

_ a holdin’ pattern…  _

 

Because- fill in the blank. 

Because nothing was going to last. 

Because his life on the Surface wasn’t permanent. 

Because soon or later he’d wake back up in Snowdin and none of this would matter anyway, but until then he had to make sure no one  _ noticed _ him ‘cause  **that** would cause way too many problems… 

 

_ like me being happy…  _

 

Sans shook that thought from his head and noticed that Papyrus had picked his way around their furniture to stand closer to him. His not-so-little brother, in rumpled flannel pajamas, was watching him with a great deal of concern. 

His perfect-in-every-way-that-mattered brother, with tired eyes, wanted to help him in anyway he could.

**His** brother, who had probably stayed up all-night worrying about him and what their future might hold, was waiting for him to say something. 

 

“i-” Sans started to say, but his words got caught somewhere in his soul. 

 

_ what had pap said… if today had no consequences…  _

 

“i don’t want ta’... go to work?”, Sans wasn’t sure why that had ended on a question, but it had. 

But it was clearly the answer Papyrus had hoped to hear, because he was freakin’ beaming like the sun at Sans. A giggle started to tickle at the back of Sans’ mind, but he repressed it so he could hear what his brother had to say. “WELL SANS, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A VERY GOOD IDEA. NYEH HEH HEH! SO BROTHER OF MINE, IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO WORK, THEN WHAT  **DO** YOU WANT TO DO TODAY?”

 

_ what do i want to do…  _

 

Again a hesitation that Sans didn’t understand seemed to have him all tongue-tied.

 

**_what_ ** _ do i want to do?  _

 

“i... want…”, the words felt odd in his mouth, but he’d said them before. He’d said he wanted all kinds of ludicrous things before, especially around the holidays and Papyrus would tease him or just straight up tell him he was ridiculous- 

 

_ that.  _

_ i want that.  _

_ i want to spend time with my brother who i’ve barely seen over the past year. i want to be happy and not feel guilty about it. i want- _

 

“-you ta’ go get your computer so we can troll the internet for somethin’ to binge.”, Sans grinned. 

Papyrus beamed back and for once Sans didn’t give a damn what time it was. 

 

* * *

_ lies and slander…  _

 

She had lied to him. Sans couldn’t believe it. 

She had told him that it would be fun and happy and full of brotherly hijinks. She had told him that he’d love it… 

Okay that part was true, he did love it; despite it being nowhere near ‘happy’ and ‘fun’. The show had redefined ‘emotional rollercoaster’ and ‘angsting in the rain’ for him- 

But goddamnit! Nowhere in that description had she said anything like ‘the best character in anime history dies the most badass of deaths!’ They had his funeral for fuck’s sake! So Sans knew that he was actually dead, and it had ripped his metaphorical heart out and then showed it to him. 

 

_ like who does that! who just tells someone to go to and watch an anime with no warning about the feels about to come down on their head!  _

 

Sans sighed and fished out his phone. The ceiling wasn’t nearly had interesting as he’d thought it’d be. Or, really as thoughtlessly distracting as he'd wanted it to be. He didn't want to think about the show and the dark themes it had handled beautiful. He had wanted to watch something fun and mindless that he could just make stupid jokes through while Papyrus tried to shush him. 

But no. He’d just had to see the title on Netflix and remember that once upon a time Alphas had told him that he ‘-just had Had HAD to watch it~’ This was why he couldn't have nice things… because his friend was weeb trash. 

In fact, he wasn't going to let her get off scotch free if he was stuck on this emotional rollercoaster then she got to be on it again. Sans switched from his game to his texts. 

 

_ *f u.  _

_ *fmab ep 10  _

_ *fml f u  _

 

He let his phone drop to his chest but he didn't bother to relock it, it wouldn't take long. 

 

*vrrt vrrt* 

 

Sans didn't pick up the phone. If he knew Al, and he did, she wasn’t done by a long shot. Sans snickered and tucked one of his hands behind his skull to wait out the message flood he instigated. 

 

*vrrt vrrt*

*vrrt vrrt*

*vrrt vrrt* *vrrt vrrt* *vrrt vrrt* *vrrt vrrt* 

 

At last his phone fell silent. Papyrus stopped humming in the kitchen and Sans hesitated picking up his phone. Papyrus might be done or want to talk to him. But soon the humming resumed and Sans snuggled into the couch cushions. He picked up his phone and scrolled up to view the first message Alphys had sent him. 

 

_ \--- *OH MY GOD! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ _

_ \--- *Sans!  _

_ \--- *Isn't it like the BEST Shonen Ever! The drama, the angst, the emotional triumph _

_ \--- *And all of the characters are so expressive and the artwork is stunning _

_ \--- *And the voice acting! Even the dub isn’t bad! _

_ \--- *Oh! _

_ \--- *And you’ve made it thru the tucker arc and the 5th lab stuff, it’s all so heartbreaking _

_ \--- *Plz tell me your making papyrus watch it too?! _

 

Sans snorted and pulled his other hand free to text his reply. 

 

_ *u suc. _

 

_ \--- *Nvm undyne says he is! _

_ \--- *? _

_ \--- *Oh, right the turning point in season 1…  _

 

_ *i repeat _

_ *u suc. _

 

_ \--- * ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ y u mad, bro _

 

_ *wat u dont even hav time for the meme _

 

_ \--- *Srry @ work  _

 

_ *then y r u txting me _

 

_ \--- *Bc this is important duh _

_ \--- *(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) _

 

_ *u suc.  _

_ *he dead _

_ *and nobody warned me _

_ *f u _

 

Alphys didn’t respond right way so Sans pulled his game back open. He was about to start the next level when his notification light blinked at him. Sans switched back to his conversation and felt his eye start twitching. Al had sent him a gif, apparently she wasn’t too busy after all. The little image of Elicia tugging on Gracia’s dress looped several more times before Sans replied. 

 

_ *burn in hell  _

 

He closed the messenger and decided Al lost texting privileges for the rest of the day. She messaged him, but he dismissed the notification. Several more came in but Sans kept swiping them away, he didn’t care how high the unread number got on the icon. Finally she stopped and Sans made to put his phone away when it vibrated again. 

 

*vrrrrt vrrrrt* 

 

_ she did not just  _ **_email_ ** _ me to get my attention.  _

 

With a scowl Sans unlocked his phone and checked the new notification. 

He wished he hadn’t. 

 

He knew this was bound to happen, he’d skipped work after all, but he wished she wasn’t so- so efficient about sticking her nose into other people’s business. He wanted to dismiss it and pretend he’d never seen it, but she’d gone out of her way to make the subject line:  _ ‘ _ **_URGENT: READ ASAP_ ** _ ’ _ . With a forlorn sigh, Sans opened up the email from Glenda. 

 

_ ‘Dear Mr. Sans…’  _

 

_ blah blah blah. irresponsible, disrespectful to your elders, crude, tasteless, reprehensible, blah.  _

 

It went on like that for several paragraphs, but Sans only skimmed it. He didn’t care what she thought of him and he felt a little stupid for even considering using that as an excuse earlier. The ‘ _ I hope this behavior is not characteristic of your kind _ ’ comment was bordering on reportable, though. Sans just wasn’t sure who he should report it to, her boss or his. He wasn’t even sure why she was so pissed at him to begin with. Yeah, he hadn’t shown up for work but he was practically done with the filing already. All he had left was the two ‘Z’ boxes and then have someone check over his work. Something that he distinctly remembered telling her yesterday when she came into ‘check on him’ for the thousands time. 

 

Sans scrolled onto see what her concluding ‘argument’ was and felt his soul freeze. 

 

_ ‘... Which is why I find this behavior so inappropriate. Especially, after you had one of your irresponsible friends call you in sick last Monday for ‘mental health’ reasons after pretending to be your relation. You have already missed one day of work this week and have requested Friday off, yet your behavior and actions make it very  _ **_very_ ** _ unlikely that you will be awarded this time. I  _ _ sincerely _ _ recommend you cease all association with any person or persons who encourage you to shirk your responsibilities, they will not help you overcome your apathetic attitude. And I will therefore be reporting you to both my Boss, Mr. Roger Kempfer, and your boss, Douglas Jamerson…’  _

 

Sans re-read the section several more times just to make sure he had all his facts right. This- ‘lady’ said Papyrus,  **Papyurs** , was ‘irresponsible’. That would have been laughable if he wasn’t so pissed. 

 

_ and what right does  _ **_she_ ** _ have to tell  _ **_me_ ** _ who i am or am not related to? or put quotations on mental health! does she not think it's a real thing or does she just think someone of ‘my kind’ is faking it!  _

_ and i didn’t just request the time off, i was given the time off already. you can’t just take that way, i don’t care who your boss is!  _

_ and why the fuck didn’t doug get a mr., huh?! just cause he’s not from some prestigious school like roger what’s-his-face? well news flash, glenda! i should be dr. sans, so why don’t you just go stick your stuck up head in a freezer!  _

 

Sans was fuming, he didn’t want to get to know Glenda. Right, from the beginning he only made polite conversation to get her to leave, but she just kept coming back to see if he was actually working. And even when she found him doing his job she kept trying to make little corrections or ‘suggestions’ to the ‘proper way of filing’ that bullshit thing or whatever.  _ if she cared so much about the damned filing why the fuck didn’t she just do it! and if you have the time to come over and harass me then aren’t you ‘shirking your responsibilities’ and being ‘irresponsible’ and ‘unproductive’!  _

 

Sans could see how tightly his phalanges were gripping his phone so he put it down, he didn’t want to damage it or himself. He felt an anger-induced headache coming-on and tried to calm down. It’d been awhile since he’d been this worked up about something. He forcefully unclenched his jaw and sat up to stretch his tensed joints. He needed to do something relaxing… something fun and distracting… something to put him in a better mood… 

Pranks. 

He used to love pulling ‘em to help himself unwind, but he just hadn’t had the time recently. The only problem was he was feeling kinda malicious. It was one thing to put a whoopie cushion on every chair-like surface in the room, but it was a-whole-nother thing ta’ say, fill a room with upside down cups and claim that spiders were inside some of them. His grin felt positively evil. It made him want to laugh, but he resisted the urge. 

He couldn’t prank his intended target, though, and taking his anger out on someone who didn’t deserve it was too much of a dick-move, even for him. 

 

_ if today had no consequences…  _

 

Papyrus words came back to Sans as he stared thoughtfully at his dark phone screen. 

Was Papyrus really right about him not needing to work... 

 

Could he really just... quit?

 

Sans picked up his phone again and reopened his email, but not to look at Glenda’s bitch-festia.  He’d received an email sometime during the last couple of days that he hadn’t dared open, not because he was afraid of what it would say, but because he was  **terrified** of what it might  _ not _ say. 

He didn’t want to see the negative response, he didn’t want to hear that the university had decided to ‘go in a different direction’ and ‘thank you for patience.’ 

Because he wanted it. He wanted to work at U of E, to work with Ethan and Amanda and Li and all of the others physics-loonies he knew he’d love to spend hours arguing with. He wanted to learn all he possibly could about theoretical astrophysics. He wanted to use the university's resources to re-explore space-travel through the lens magic made available. He wanted to meet the humans who  _ actually went into  _ **_space!_ ** Their signed photographs hung on the walls in Campbell Hall and apparently they- the members of the physics department went to a space and technologies fair every year, where said space-travelers made appearances.

 

Sans wanted this every bone of his body. 

But it was going to reset. 

It  **always** did. 

 

So doing this- Getting his hopes up, it wasn’t good. It would just be another thing he’d have to regret, something else to remember and resent. Something else to keep him up at night when the what if’s haunted him.

 

_... no consequences…  _

 

If it all went up in smoke tomorrow, wouldn’t he want to know? To know whether he was good enough… To know whether or not he could make it next time. To  **know** that he could try again the next time they made it to the Surface, to know not to waste time and just jump right to it… 

 

Sans opened the email. 

 

_ ‘Hey, S…. All the paperwork’s been drawn up and the board of admissions is ready to sign you on whenever you're ready. Probably won’t start you on officially until the begin of the winter semester. - Ethan Q.’ _

 

The man hadn’t even bothered to hit enter to space out the introduction and the signoff… 

 

Sans snickered. 

Then he chuckled. 

And then he was rolling with laughter.  

With his fingers still shaking with laughter, as his ribs still wheezed with it, Sans typed out his reply. 

 

_ ‘q.... when and where? - s.’  _

 

“BROTHER?” called Papyrus from the kitchen. “IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN THERE?”

Sans thought his grin was going to split his skull, but he couldn’t care less. “yeah, bro… everything’s grand.” Sans almost sang back as his phone informed him the message had been sent. Then Sans saw the email at the top of his inbox again and his soul bubbled with a far less delightful sounding laughter. “... just one quick question, bro. where do we keep the paper cups?”

 

* * *

It wasn’t until the end of lunch before Doug finally text him back. Sans had had to dodge a lot of Papyrus’ more pointed demands about where he had been and why he had needed so many paper cups, but he’d answered completely honestly when he told Papyrus that he had only taken his brother’s advice. He really had quit, it just probably wasn’t in a fashion Papyrus would have prefered. 

 

_ \--- *I’m sorry to see you go _

 

And then several seconds later. 

 

_ \--- *You didn’t actually quit like that did you? _

 

_ *yea _

 

_ \--- *Lol, good for you. _

_ \--- *I’ll email you with the resignation paperwork and once you sign it I’ll let you get it back to me in the strange way you always return stuff.  _

 

_ *thanks, man  _

 

_ \--- *Always _

_ \--- *And good luck. _

 

Sans smirked down at his phone and couldn’t help scrolling back up to see his handiwork. The photo that had started this conversation was of a series of filing boxes. Each had been labeled with a single large letter in sharpie; some of them had had sub numbers add on after signifying the next box in that letter group. The boxes sat atop a large office table with hundreds of paper cups turned upside down filling the surrounding space. The boxes spelt ‘I 1 QUI 2 T 1 ’.

 

Quitting felt good, really good. But also weird. 

 

Sans couldn’t remember the last time he was truly ‘unemployed’. Medical leave? Sure, but that had been different. He’d been stuck in the hospital and once he’d gotten out he’d pretty much gone straight to Undyne about the sentry position in Snowdin. Spending so much time in the hospital with nothing but his own thoughts about the accident and the man no one else could remember had made him a little- uh, ‘stir’ crazy. 

But now he was a free skeleton, at least until January… it was weird… but in a good way…  _ maybe… _

“AS MUCH AS I DETEST ASKING, WHAT PUN AND OR JOKE DID LADY TORIEL SEND YOU?”, Papyrus tossed over his shoulder as he bore their lunch dishes off to the sink. 

Sans snapped his head up at Papyrus’ words. He didn’t even have to feign confusion when he replied, “hmm? what?” 

“LADY TORIEL. WHAT MESSAGE DID SHE SEND YOU?”, Papyrus questioned again, now his backwards glance looked a little nonplussed. “I AM OF COURSE ASSUMING THAT LADY TORIEL IS THE ONE YOU HAVE BEEN CONVERSING WITH DUE TO THE SMILE ON YOUR FACE.”

“huh? oh- nah, pap. tori didn’t text me anything, i was just talkin’ with doug, my bo- my former boss.” Sans tossed his phoned back onto the table and took a sip from his ketchup bottle. 

When Papyrus turned more fully towards him, Sans only shrugged at his questioning gaze. 

“BY ‘FORMER’ DO YOU MEAN THAT HE IS NO LONGER YOUR BOSS BECAUSE HE HAS QUIT OR BECAUSE YOU HAVE?” Papyrus glowered at Sans’ lack of response. 

“cause i did.” Sans stated with an effortlessness that always annoyed Papyrus.

At Papyrus’ raised brow-ridges and suddenly apprehensive look Sans went on, “i thought about it some more and you were right. i don’t need to work right now… and i wasn’t happy workin’ as a temp, so i quit.” 

“YOU JUST QUIT? JUST LIKE THAT?” Papyrus looked like he wanted to be alarmed but couldn’t seem to manage more than a little dismissive head shake as he turned back to the dishes. 

“yup, why draw it out?” Sans confirmed with a contented smile as he stretched out.  “sides’ no consequences today, right? means i don’t have ta’ think about this until tomorrow.” 

“I SUPPOSE NOT…” Papyrus hummed to himself and fell quiet for several moments while he contemplated what to say next. “SO... IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH TODAY? ANYTHING ELSE ON YOUR AVOIDANCE TO-DO LIST THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PUTTING OFF?” 

Sans snorted, “pap, i don’t gotta ta’-do list. this was just something that needed to be done a-sap so i can spend more time enjoying my unemployment.” 

Now it was Papyrus’ turn to snort. “LIAR LIAR, PYROPE ON FIRE. I CAN THINK OF AT LEAST THREE DIFFERENT THINGS THAT BELONG ON THAT LIST AND… I WOULD NOT CONSIDER IT ‘UNEMPLOYMENT’, I THINK YOU SHOULD APPROACH YOUR LACK OF EMPLOYMENT AS MORE OF A- A VACATION!” 

Sans laughed, “a vacation, huh? sure, why not.” Then after a pause Sans added, “and what things?” 

Papyrus turned to face him as he held out a towel. Apparently, he wanted Sans to help him dry the dishes. Sans didn’t mind, so he pulled himself onto his feet and shuffled over to his brother and the damp dishes. But this had been a ploy on Papyrus’ behalf because once Sans had received the towel, the taller skeleton smirked, “OH JUST TO NAME ONE OFF THE TOP OF MY HANDSOME SKULL, YOU COULD CONFESS YOUR UNDYING LOVE FOR TORIEL AND SWEEP HER FORMER-GRACE OFF HER FLUFFY FEET~” 

 

Sans physically recoiled and dropped his dish towel in the process. The squeaky sound that had escaped his soul held no resemblance to words, but it in combination with the furious blush and glower Sans sent Papyrus’ way, Sans assumed his brother would comprehend his sudden displeasure at such a statement. 

Papyrus, without any kind of sympathy, laughed at his brother’s out-right panicked reaction. 

“i- no- that isn’t- i’m not- were not- this-  **that** isn’t a thing.” Sans stammered out as he felt his magic hum against his bones. The light blue of his magic deepened to a much more vibrant and visible shade as his brother kept laughing. “damn it! this isn’t funny! and you can’t just shout stuff like that at me.”

As Papyrus wiped at the orange magic pooling in the corner of his eye sockets he snickered out a response. “I AM S-SINCERELY SORRY BROTHER, I-I DIDN’T MEAN TO UPSET YOU- NYEH HEHEHEHE! THAT IS WRONG I MOST CERTAINLY DID! HEH HEH HEH!”

Sans growled at his brother while he bent to pick up the towel he’d dropped. “oh, bite me.” His anger probably would have come across a bit more meaningfully if he didn’t currently look a magical blueberry. Sans had to resist the urge to scrub at his face or else he’d just draw more attention to how much it- it… bothered him. 

 

It was, of course, a  _ blatantly  _ **ridiculous** idea in the first place. He  **wasn’t** in love with Toriel. And as far as the rest of the world was concerned, it was going to stay that way. 

 

Even though each day he grew more and more certain that that was a lie… 

 

He just couldn’t- wouldn’t tell anyone. Ever. He didn’t want to be in love with her. Being in love got you hurt and heartbroken and Sans knew it wouldn’t end well for him. It just wouldn’t- couldn’t end happily ever after. Life didn’t work like that. People like Sans didn’t end up with people like her,  _ not after the things i’ve done... _

He didn’t want to think about this. Any of it. 

 

_ … it just hurts too damned much…  _

 

So he didn’t. 

Instead he stood there like a stuffed fish while Papyrus tried valiantly to stop laughing in his older brother’s face. It took several awkward,  _ or hilarious depending on your perspective,  _ seconds for Papyrus to stifle his normally infectious laughter. 

Once Papyrus had righted himself and finished wiping at his tearing eyes, Sans managed to shove enough of his embarrassment from his thoughts to return his voice to its more usual register and drawl. “so pap… how’re things with you? how have you been?”, Sans changed the subject without attempting any of his normal subterfuge.  _ no lying, right? _

Papyrus gave him an amused glance along with a plate to dry, but didn’t question Sans about his deliberate change in the subject. “I AM QUITE WELL, SANS.” 

“good, good.” Sans nodded along as he finished drying the plate. He sent the mostly dry dish to its proper place with a flick of his wrist; little expressions of magic like that were good for him. They were a nice way to burn through his constant magical build-up and helped him re-stabilize his soul and emotions.  _ best way ta’ stop thinkin’ about something is ta’ do somethin’ else…  _

Papyrus didn’t even bat an eyelid at his casual use of magic, because he was using it too. The thoroughly dried silverware floated off to their proper drawer and settled themselves into their slots as the orange tint from Papyrus’ magic faded. The drawer closed itself with the aid of more orange magic. Papyrus handed Sans another plate. “I HAVE SUBMITTED MY APPLICATION TO OUR LOCAL INTERNATIONAL CULINARY SCHOOL OF THE ARTS AND I EXPECT TO RECEIVE MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER NEXT MONTH.” 

Sans smirked as he used his TK so send another plate into the cupboard he’d left open. The light blue of his magic glittered softly as it winked out inside the darkened cabinet. It was just like Papyrus to automatically assume that he’d be accepted. Not that Sans doubted his acceptance, but it didn’t matter what his brother wanted to do, he always believed he’d succeed. 

 

He couldn’t climb a tree?  _ welp, now how’re you supposed to get down… _

He didn’t know how to pronounce a word?  _ would you stop draggin’ that thesaurus around. _

He couldn’t be a royal guard?  _ so how’d the evening of campin’ outside the captain’s house go…  _

 

Sans wondered if his success had more to do with his attitude than anything. Papyrus  **believed** he would succeed and then he did. Was that why he always did so well? Why he always accomplished whatever he’d set out to do? 

“didya’ only apply there or didya’ send out applications to other places too?”, Sans questioned as he pushed the towel into the glass he was drying. 

“I ONLY SENT AN APPLICATION TO THE INTERNATIONAL CULINARY SCHOOL OF THE ARTS. THE APPLICATIONS FOR CULINARY SCHOOL ARE RATHER EXPENSIVE AND I, OF COURSE, DID NOT THINK IT WAS NECESSARY TO SEND OUT OTHERS. I AM CLEARLY GOING TO BE ACCEPTED SO THERE IS NO NEED TO GET THE OTHER SCHOOLS HOPES UP ABOUT POTENTIALLY HAVING THE HONOR OF TEACHING A SOON-TO-BE MASTER SUCH AS MYSELF.” Papyrus dismissed as he tucked his towel over the oven’s handle. He closed all the cabinets Sans had left open without turning to look at them. Papyrus had started to turn back to Sans when his phone chirped twice in quick succession. Cutting himself off, Papyrus pulled out his phone to check whatever message he’d received. 

Sans strolled over to his brother and tucked his towel next to Papyrus’, albeit a lot less neatly. He didn’t interrupt Papyrus as he studied his glittery turquoise and fushia encased phone. The words ‘COOL DUDE’ stood out in raised lettering on the back of the phone case for all the world to see. Sans briefly wondered if the phone case acted as a kind of theft deterrent because no one would ever try to steal something so- flashy. 

 

When the taller skeleton-monster still didn’t say anything and Sans realised Papyrus was just tall enough that he could read his brother’s phone when standing next to him, Sans tried to regain Papyrus’ attention. “what’s up?” 

Papyrus’ head shot up startled by Sans’ words, like he’d forgotten his brother was there. Sans jerked his chin towards the phone by way of explanation and waited for Papyrus to fill him in. “I, UH- IN A MOMENT OF CONSTANT BRILLIANCE SET A REMINDER IN MY PHONE TO ALERT MY EVER GENEROUS AND KIND SELF ABOUT WHEN I DEEMED IT MOST APPROPRIATE TO START THE CONSTRUCT FRISK’S CELEBRATORY SPAGHETTI PIE… THAT TIME JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE- NOW.” 

Sans watched as Papyrus’ gaze flickered from him to the tv and back. Papyrus didn’t want to abandon Sans in the middle of their bingeing session. Sans felt his soul swell with a very odd combination of love and guilt. He was glad Papyrus wanted to spend time with him, but he didn’t want his brother to abandoned his responsibilities because he was afraid Sans was an emotionally unstable wreck… He was but, that shouldn’t stop Papyrus from doing the stuff he’d planned to do today. “paps, it’s fine. we can take a break from bingeing and stuff, s’not like the shows are goin’ anywhere.”

Papyrus frowned down at him as he stuck his phone back into his pocket. “ARE YOU CERTAIN SANS? I SAID THAT WE WOULD WATCH MOVIES AND OR TV SHOWS THROUGHOUT THE DURATION OF THE DAY. THIS, ALTHOUGH ENTERTAINING AND VERY EDUCATIONAL FOR THE CULINARILY INEPT, WOULD NOT BE EITHER OF THOSE THINGS…” 

The guilt was starting to override the giddiness, but Sans knew exactly how to find a compromise. “nah, really pap, it’s fine. you can make the pie and i’ll chill in here with you. that way we can keep talkin’ and stuff.”, Sans offered with a shrug and hoisted himself up onto the countertop. He took his usual seat on the small hunk of counter between the oven and the fridge, where he used to sit when he talked with a certain lady when she’d been the one doing the cooking. 

Papyrus was still giving him a skeptical look so Sans shrugged again and tucked one of his legs underneath him. “come on, papyrus. you’ll be catching two snails with one net~ we’ll still be hangin’ out and you’ll still get ta’ treat the kid to the world’s best spaghetti pie. it’s a win-win.”

His brother smiled a little as his snail idiom, but Sans wasn’t sure why. He smiled brighter when Sans had mentioned Frisk though, they both really did love the little hyperactive munchkin. But it didn’t stop Papyrus from continuing his line of questioning, “ARE YOU SURE? I DON’T WANT TO DISRUPT OUR, AS YOU WOULD CALL IT, ‘SLOTHING’.” Papyrus went out of his way to add air quotes around slothing. 

Sans grinned. “yes, pap. i’m fine with this. i used ta’ do this all time with tori. just hand me my drink and i’m set.” Sans gestured to the bottle that he’d left on the table, not bothering to use magic to get it. 

Papyrus created his eye-lights just to roll them at Sans while he turned to get his lazy brother’s drink, but Sans could see more than just amusement in his perma-grin. He just wasn’t sure why his brother had had such a mischievous twinkle in his eye. But the look was gone as he handed Sans the bottle and opened the fridge to retrieve his culinary ‘art supplies’, so Sans let it slide. Besides now that he’d agreed to sit around and talk, Sans needed a good topic that didn’t involve himself. 

They’d already talked about culinary school and Sans had used talking about work as a diversion during lunch. They could talk about the kid’s party tomorrow… but that might lead them to what they should or shouldn’t say to Undyne and Alphys and Tori about- stuff. Sans had already decided to just ignore their questions and avoid Undyne outright until she stopped trying to harass him. That was the only way with her,  _ hide until she forgets to be pissed _ . He knew Papyrus wouldn’t like those plans so he didn’t think bringing up the party was a good idea. 

 

_ but what else is there… the wedding would only circle right back to last sunday... gyftmas is still too far way…  _

 

When the perfect idea finally struck him, Sans tried not to grimace. 

 

_ shit... i could ask ‘im about the robot…  _

 

When Papyrus finally closed the fridge, arms full of supplies and humming merrily, Sans swallowed his prejudice and asked, “so pap… how’s your-”  _ i am not saying boyfriend even if it kills me.  _ “-er Mettaton?” Sans finished without grimacing… barely. 

Papyrus stopped what he was doing to turn and stare at Sans. The bewilderment and shock almost made Sans feel guilty. The fact that Papyrus would consider it shocking that Sans would ask about his significant other did not speak well of the smaller skeleton and it made it easier for him to press on. “so, uh- what’ve you guys been up to? anything fun planned?” 

Papyrus blinked at Sans, then he looked behind himself as if he thought Sans was talking to someone else. When Sans only frown at him, Papyrus narrowed his eye-orbits, “WHAT ARE YOU, A CYLON?” 

Sans almost spat out his drink. “ _excuse_ _you_. this is a star trek household and we do not use battlestar galactica reference under this roof.”, Sans snarked back without hesitation. 

Papyrus feigned a look of immense relief as he continued just as sarcastically, “OH THANK GOODNESS. FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T MY BROTHER.” 

Sans rolled his eyes. “oh, har har. very funny, but i was bein’ serious… how’re thing?” Sans tried to keep his eyes on Papyrus but when he just continued to look doubtful, Sans looked away. He’d been so caught up with himself the last few months that he hadn’t even bothered to ask Papyrus about a big part of his life- No, that was wrong. It wasn’t just that he’d been self-centered, he’d been arrogant. Not willing to dain to talk about someone he didn’t like, even though his brother had gone out of his way to try to get the two of them to get along. Yes, Sans thought Mettaton was a pain in the ass and irritating as all hell, but Papyrus liked him and Sans hadn’t even tried to give the flamboyant pop-star a chance. 

 

He felt ashamed. 

 

“THINGS HAVE BEEN GOOD.”, Papyrus said at last. Sans could only nod in response as his soul burned with self-disgust, he couldn’t even manage to pull his gaze up from the linoleum. 

The apartment was void of words as the sound of a pot being filled echoed through the well-lit space. Sans didn’t want to let the conversation go, he wanted- no, he needed to hear more about Papyrus’ life, even if that meant hearing about what Mettaton was up to. It mattered to his brother so it mattered to him too, but Sans couldn’t manage to push his words past the churring in his soul. 

 

_ had it been this bad when paps had started hangin’ with undyne?  _

 

That thought alone made him want to be sick. Had he really been this overbearing- this overprotective and- and  **mean** whenever Papyrus had tried to make friends? Whenever his brother had tried to have a life that didn’t involve him? Was he the reason why it had been so hard for Papyrus to make friends? All because he didn’t think anyone was good enough or nice enough to be friends with his brother- 

The clang of the heavy pot being placed onto the stove next to Sans made him look up. He didn’t know how successful he was at hiding his emotions anymore, but Sans tried to keep his self-hatred off his face. He swallowed his magical unrest and locked down his soul, where it could just  _ rot  _ without ever seeing the light of day. 

Papyrus was studying him, but he didn’t seem worried so at least Sans knew he couldn’t tell how upset he’d made himself. After a very long pause Papyrus finally questioned, “DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT METTATON AND OUR RELATIONSHIP?” 

Sans saw it. He saw the moment, the flicker of an opportunity to make things right, to try and fix this. But when he tried to make a sound of confirmation it came out more like a negative. Sans wanted to kick himself. 

 

He had one job. One. Keep his brother safe and happy. 

Apparently, he couldn’t even manage that much. 

 

Papyrus’ brow-ridges drew together in confusion and Sans couldn’t blame him. He felt very confused himself. He still didn’t  **like** Mettaton, but he wanted Papyrus to be happy. He had also promised to stop lying to his brother…  _ i hate everything…  _

Sans cleared his throat and tried again, “look, pap… i don’t exactly like mettaton.” But before Papyrus’ face could fall Sans continued hurriedly, “but! i know that you do. so if he matters to you then- i guess he should matter to me… he’s apart a’ your life and i care about that. even if i’m not, uh- his biggest fan.” 

Now Sans really wasn’t sure what expression his brother was making, but it looked vaguely familiar.  _ i think tori makes that face a lot…  _ It was like across between laughter and exasperation, but at least it wasn’t disappointment. Sans felt his shoulders hunch, instead of continuing his pointless ramblings he waited for Papyrus to respond. 

Papyrus considered Sans for several seconds, then he added an entire box of pasta to the boiling water. He stirred the hot water in silence without any of the typical Undyne zeal, so at least the water wasn’t being sloshed all over the stovetop. “WELL… WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF PLANNING OUR THIRD OFFICIAL DATE.” His words were calm and he seemed to be waiting to gauge Sans’ reaction before continuing. 

Sans raised a brow at Papyrus, “third? you guys’ve been going out for a couple a’months, how are you only on your third date?” 

Papyrus blinked at his words, clearly he had expected a different reaction. And honestly so had Sans. He thought he’d feel weirder about talking about ‘Papyrus’ and ‘dating’ in the same sentence, especially with Papyrus, but it wasn’t… for some reason.  _ because he’s not a naive little kid anymore…  _

That felt like the right answer even if Sans didn’t like it. His brother could take care of himself; he was more than capable of handling his own emotions, _and mine._ That and out of everyone Sans knew Pap was one of the few souls who actually had their shit together. Papyrus could tell you exactly where he saw himself in the next five years and could probably pull out a detailed list about how he would accomplish his goals. He knew what he was about…   _was i ever like that?_

Something tickled the back of his mind, an old memory from his college days. He remembered detailing to Alphys his master plan: become the head of his department, publish half a dozen papers that revolutionized his field, maybe try his hand at bein’ the Head Royal Scientist, and break the barrier, of course.  _ god, that felt like it was lifetimes ago… huh, i guess in a way it kinda was…  _ How had he ever thought that he could do any of that? 

 

Who was that kid… and where had he gone? 

~~_ he died with the doc… _ ~~

 

Sans refocused on Papyrus and realized he’d missed part of Papyrus’ explanation about why they were only on date three of many. “-WILL ‘MAKE OR BREAK’ A RELATIONSHIP! IT, AS EVERYONE KNOWS, WILL BE THE DECIDING FACTOR THAT WILL DETERMINE WHETHER WE, METTATON AND I, CAN TRANSITION FROM ‘GOING OUT’ TO ‘IN A RELATIONSHIP’. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT SANS AND WE MUSTN'T TAKE IT LIGHTLY. THEREFORE, THE ‘THIRD DATE’ MUST BE PLANNED WITH THE UTMOST CARE OR ELSE WE COULD SERIOUSLY HARM OUR SOCIAL MEDIA IMAGES! SO WE HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE EVERY APPROPRIATE PRECAUTION. NYEH HEH HEH!” 

 

_ yeah, if you're in a movie… _ Sans did not say, but he couldn’t stop his eyelights from rolling. 

 

Papyrus jabbed the spoon he’d been using to stir with in Sans’ general direction. “YOU DOUBT ME, THE CURRENT HOUSEHOLD EXPERT IN ALL THINGS RELATIONSHIP-ISH!?” 

Sans snorted, “not so much doubt, pap, as not believe.”

“THOSE ARE THE SAME THING, SANS!” Papyrus declared with a frown, googly-eyes and all. He, however, did not slam the jar of red sauce down on the counter…  _ probably tired of cleanin’ tomato off the ceiling.  _

“that is a matter of opinion-” Sans smirked at his brother and continued before Papyrus could get a word in, “but, that bein’ said, how can this be a ‘third date’ if you guys’ve been spendin’ so much time together the last couple months? aren’t those all dates, too?”

The look of sudden pity that crossed Papyrus’ face made Sans want to scowl. “BROTHER, OH DEAREST BROTHER OF MINE… SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP PARTNER IS NOT A ‘DATE’. OH, HOW CONFUSED YOU, AN INEXPERIENCED DATER, MUST BE IN THE FACE OF SUCH INFORMATION. BUT DO NOT WORRY! FOR EVEN I WAS ONCE LIKE YOU, NAIVE AND DOE-EYED, BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ENLIGHTEN YOU ABOUT THE ‘GOING ON’S OF RELATIONSHIPPING!”

“didya just call me- ‘doe-eyed’?” Sans muttered, but Papyrus didn’t hear him or at least didn’t acknowledged him. 

“THE TIME THAT METTATON AND I, OR ANYONE WITH THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER OR OTHERS, SPEND TOGETHER IN PUBLIC IS CALLED ‘GOING OUT’. WHICH IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH IN PRIVATE TIME SPENDING, ‘HANGING OUT’. BOTH OF THESE ARE STANDARD SIGNIFICANT OTHER SOCIAL INTERACTION EVENTS, BUT NEITHER OF WHICH ARE ‘DATES’. STANDARD SIGNIFICANT OTHER SOCIAL INTERACTION EVENTS, OR SSOSIE’S, CAN BE SPONTANEOUS AND CAN VERY DRAMATICALLY IN LO-CAL. DATES, HOWEVER, ARE ALMOST ALWAYS PLANNED BY ONE PARTY OR THE OTHER AND HAVE A VERY RIGID FORMULA THAT MUST BE FOLLOWED DEPENDING, OF COURSE, ON THE TYPE OF DATE YOU ARE PLANNING. THE TYPES OF DATES ARE AS FOLLOWS-” 

 

“stop!”, Sans flung up a bony hand as his eye started twitching. “m’kay, i get it. you guys are plannin’ your third date, just- just go on with that…” 

That had been way more information than he had ever wanted to know about the ‘in’s and out’s of dating’ and was probably something Papyrus and Mettaton had had to discuss at length in order to make sure everyone was on the same page.  _ maybe, it’s a good thing pap didn’t come to me with questions about dating… _

Luckily for Sans, Papyrus didn’t mind when Sans cut him off mid-explanation. Actually, Sans was starting to wonder if Papyrus was using long-winded explanations as a way to passive aggressively irritate him, like any good sibling would. “AH, YES! THE MOST CRUCIAL OF ALL DATES, THE THIRD DATE. MORE SPECIFICALLY THE THIRD DINNER DATE! ORIGINALLY, WE HAD PLANNED OUR THIRD DATE TO TAKE PLACE THIS WEEK, BUT METTATON HAD TO CANCEL.” 

Sans felt like he’d just suffered from mental whiplash throughout the duration of Papyrus’ last statement. His thoughts had transitioned from ‘ _ oh god i didn’t fuck up your date, did i? _ ’ to ‘ _ which bitch just stood up my brother! _ ’ in nanoseconds. Sans managed to keep his voice neutral as he asked, “why’d he, uh- have ta’ cancel?” 

 

Papyrus waved off the question like it was nothing as he debated between strainers for his pasta. “OH, IT WAS A WORK EVENT. HE AGREED TO ATTEND THIS EVENT A HUMAN ORGANIZATION WAS HOSTING TO HELP MAKE THE DREAMS FOR SMALL SICK HUMANS COME TRUE, BUT EVERYTHING WAS VERY TIME-SENSITIVE SO HE HAD TO REARRANGE HIS SCHEDULE THIS WEEK. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU ARE FAMOUS SO IT IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.” Papyrus elaborated with the air of experience, but Sans wasn’t ready to drop it yet. 

“so he keeps putting his work over you?”, Sans pressed as sinister visions of paying a certain robot a visit in the middle of the night, danced through his mind’s eye. 

Papyrus, on the other hand, frowned down at him. “HE PHRASED IT JUST LIKE THAT TOO… METTATON WAS VERY CONCERNED THAT HE WAS ‘IGNORING ME’ AND ‘PUTTING ME IN SECOND’ WHEN IT CAME TO HIS WORK, WHICH IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS. HIS WORK AND OUR RELATIONSHIP ARE NOT SIMILAR AND THEREFORE ARE NOT COMPARABLE. HE HAS OBLIGATIONS TO HIS FANS AND TO THE PEOPLE HE MADE PRIOR ARRANGEMENTS WITH. HIS WORK IS IMPORTANT AND HE SHOULD NOT FEEL AS THOUGH HE HAS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN ME OR BRINGING JOY TO MILLIONS OF SOULS…” Papyrus grumbled more to himself than to Sans, but it made the shorter skeleton hesitate. 

 

He’d automatically assumed the pop-idol had just brushed Papyrus off for a work gig, a charity thing? Yes, but it was still work. However that didn’t seem to be the case. It sounded like Papyrus was the one who told him to go, like Papyrus thought Mettaton should focus on his career…  _ duh, ‘cause that’s what pap’s doin’ too. he’s been apply for school and workin’  longer hours at the diner. he’s not rushin’ this thing with mettaton, instead he’s letting it sit on the backburner.  _

So why did it make sense for Papyrus to focus on his profession, but not for Mettaton? Why was there this double-standard? Sure nothing in life’s ever fair, but still… Why was Sans so biased when it came to the pretension pop-star? 

 

_ because this is the same  _ **_bastard_ ** _ who’s got a secret police force to off anybody doesn’t agree with him…  _

 

Sans froze. 

 

_ oh shit.  _

 

That wasn’t a real memory- or at least it wasn’t accurate. Mettaton wasn’t and has never been the emperor. This Mettaton  **wasn’t** the Mettaton he was remembering.  _ oh fuck- shit, wait- how long- how long have these stupid  _ **_not-memories_ ** _ been fuckin’ with my worldview? since they starter ‘er later ‘er-  _ **_fuck_ ** _ …  _

“SANS? WHAT IS IT? WHAT’S WRONG?”, Papyrus asked. 

 

Sans jerked back. He hadn’t seen Papyrus move over to him, hell he hadn’t even noticed when Papyrus had touched him. 

 

Bad. 

This was bad. 

He felt that- that  **thing** that was worse than panic latch on his his soul. It was making his chest- his ribs burn. Sans’ vision swam nauseatingly. It was like everything was moving- Changing.

 

It was like the whole world was changing and shifting and spinning- 

 

_ stupid. _

 

This was stupid. He knew that things changed, that things were  **suppose** to change. That change was a good thing, but it- it- 

 

It terrified him. 

 

He had gotten so used to the routine of his life in the Underground. He’d gotten used to knowing every little thing, to knowing  _ exactly  _ how everyone would react. In retrospect, it hadn’t been a perfect knowledge by any standard, but his gut checks had always had more substance to them than everyone else's.  He  **knew** the people around and he  **knew** who and what the were… 

 

But now… 

 

Now he couldn’t even trust himself- 

 

Nothing was stable. Everything was changing and dangerous- 

 

But he seemed to be the only soul that couldn’t handle it. He was the only one that kept misstepping. He was the only one that couldn’t find his footing as the world span faster and faster- 

 

_ stop- _

 

_ stop- i- i need ta’ stop- _

 

_ make it stop- this has ta’ stop!  _

 

It was like he could suddenly feel the thousands of kilometers per hour the planet beneath him was hurtling through space. It revolved around itself- as it was flung around the sun- as the solar system shot around the galaxy- and the galaxy flew billions of meter through the vast emptiness of space-

 

So alone. 

 

So dark. 

 

So full of nothingness. 

 

~~_ so familiar _ ~~

 

-Peppermint…?

 

Suddenly the sweet chill of mint washed through Sans’ mind replacing his violent onset of motion sickness with something just as familiar. 

 

_ papyrus. _

 

He was home. He was with Papyrus. 

 

Sans forced himself out his hunched position. He didn’t dare pull his hand away from his mouth in case his couldn’t keep the contents of his non-existent stomach in place, but he made himself refocus on his brother. On his magic, crisp and cold and  **real.**

He felt his chest expand a little, he felt his body try to breath again, but it wasn’t enough. He needed the rhythm of the dilations, expanding and contracting. Over and over. He needed the consistency of it, he needed to focus. 

Papyrus was watching him, his face marred with concern, but his soul was stable. He was stable. He was still. 

 

He might be changing- Be growing, but he was still. 

Sans felt Papyrus’ fingers tighten against his scapula and Sans could feel it. His soul. His magic. His absolute control and blinding exuberance. 

 

_ just like always. _

 

It was like taking a deep breath after chewing on mint gum. It was like freshly fallen snow and a dazzlingly blue sky. It was- his brother. 

 

It was fine. 

_He_ was fine. 

 

Sans let out a very slow breath between his fingers and was relieved to feel his nausea passing. It ebbed away with every breath, but it wasn’t gone. It just wasn’t as intense anymore, like the remnants of a nasty headache. 

It was quiet in the kitchenette for several more seconds before Sans managed a weak, “sorry… i-” 

Papyrus tightened his grip on Sans’ shoulder, effectively ending his apology. “YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SORRY FOR.” Then after a moment's hesitation he said in an almost jovial tone, “BUT, OF COURSE, IF YOU WANT TO THANK ME I WILL ALWAYS GRACIOUSLY ACCEPT PRAISE. I DESERVE IT~”

Sans knew Pap was trying to lighten the mood and Sans was grateful for it, but he was also a little surprised that Papyrus wasn’t trying to ask him what was wrong again. “heh, i guess ya do. so thanks bro, there ain’t another soul like you.” Sans winked.  _ thank god you’re my brother... _

Papyrus beamed and laughed merrily. Sans grinned back and cherished the way Papyrus’ very presence seemed to chase away all the shadows, imagined or otherwise. Perhaps he was wrong about more than just Mettaton’s actions- or reactions as the case may be… 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know that that was a very long chapter. But I'm not really gonna be able update regularly, maybe twice a month if we're lucky... so long chapters are just gonna be the way this works.


End file.
